ASC Review: The Mound of Akbarj

The Mound of Akbarj (Kurt from an idea "conceived by YeOldeJeffe and giantgoose)

AD&D for characters of 4th-6th level

Another submission from Kurt; would this one be as great as his Caverns of Despair? Short answer: no.

For my review criteria, you may check out this post. All reviews will (probably) contain *SPOILERS*; you have been warned! Because these are short (three page) adventures, it is my intention to keep the reviews short.

This thing is crap. Reading it makes me feel like the author(s) are simply trying to screw with me...waste my time. This must be how Bryce feels six days out of seven. I don't have time for this; if it's a joke, it's in poor taste.

First off the thing is an ancient burial mound "guarded fanatically" by a group of totally unnecessary (and ridiculous) just-made-up-for-this-adventure humanoids: inbred horse-geese men. Asinine. Oh, they're lawful evil and favor the bow, do they? They also inbreed with geese and horses and have somehow managed to reproduce healthy mutant spawn for generations and I'm only just now hearing about them? This is stupid crap.

Then we have the scale being given in inches: the mound is "very large - a circle 200" in diameter, roughly 600" in circumference and 20" high." Do you mean actual inches? Or tabletop gaming inches (as in 1" = 10 yards outdoors). Because neither makes sense: no one measures the circumference of ANYTHING using gaming inches. Wargaming inches are used for measuring distance of movement, ranged combat, etc. STRAIGHT LINES WITH A RULER, DUDE. Also: your map doesn't make sense: "A circular 10" wide hole marks the only entrance." Well, the map (no scale noted) shows a single square of the grid as the opening for the dungeon. So I square is 10"? Does that mean TEN INCHES? Or is the square 100'? Or what?

For an average party of 5th level (no numbers given), the monsters here are pretty small fry. 1d4 ghouls or giant ants. A single zombie kamadan with no breath weapon? Floating, suspended rust monsters? Really? 

The treasure is all boring and random piles. An urn of 1600 platinum. A coffin with 2237 platinum and 19 ep. 12 scrolls on goose-horse-man culture that are somehow worth 750 gp each (like I want to know anything more about these guys then I already do...). 10,000 s.p. and 4,000 g.p. floating in the air with the rust monsters. I mean, who cares?  Total treasure amount is something like twice what it should be for an adventure this size...so, Monty Haul? Especially given the low challenge level (uh-oh, a trap that does 1d8 damage! To 5th level characters! Oh, here's a 1d6 arrow trap that only triggers 50% of the time...scary!). This isn't what I call "solid" D&D.  And a +2 greataxe isn't a thing in AD&D, just by the way.

Sorry; this one ain't good. One star (out of five).

*