ASC Review: The Moldiwarp's Burrow

The Moldiwarp's Burrow (Woad Warrior)

AD&D for PCs of 5th-6th level

Some really interesting ideas and thoughtful world building in this "adventure;" unfortunately it stabs itself in the face with a distinct lack of organization and clarity. 

For my review criteria, you may check out this post. All reviews will (probably) contain *SPOILERS*; you have been warned! Because these are short (three page) adventures, it is my intention to keep the reviews short.

I'm not sure where exactly to start, so I'm just going to quote the author's opening paragraph:

This module, for AD&D characters Level 5-6 is a combination of dungeon, small settlement and timeline-activated plot. It is not intended to be material suitable for a one-shot, but rather as material to place within a sandbox or campaign. You can, of course, use just the dungeon component of the module, Gnomish Hill. When designing the sandbox, place Skepeside on a frequently travelled thoroughfare in the early game, such as between the major market and the first dungeon.

The author is immediately stepping off on the wrong foot, misunderstanding the point and purpose of the exercise. The Adventure Site Contest is NOT about designing a module that can be crammed into three pages...the directive is to create an adventure site suitable for an evening's (or session's) play. 

*sigh*

Woad Warrior has created a mini-region, complete with human town, local color, recent history, complex plot weaving, etc. but has not done the job of creating an adventure site. Yeah, there's a map of some mole burrows. It is unclear just where the hell these are supposed to be. I've read this thing multiple times, and I just don't grok it. Here's the order information is presented:

1. Opening paragraph (above)
2. Discussion of Gnomish Hill (an area 10 miles from the nearby town): only its recent history is provided.
3. Discussion of Skepeside (human village): overview of the place, its religion, its rulers.
4. Hooks for the village, i.e. why PCs might go there.
5. Hooks for the Hill, i.e. why PCs might go there, including s recommended plot involving the Beltane religious ritual and its intended corruption by the "Moldiwarp" (an evil fairy rat-dwarf) of Gnome Hill.
6. Caith: a discussion of a village boy named Caith and the trouble he gets up to, including various trouble scenarios that might (or might not) involve the PCs.
7. Feeding Tunnels: a discussion of a mole lair...though not where the hell it is; is this in the village? Is it on Gnome Hill? Why would the PCs go here? This is the first time the place is mentioned! With no context, hooks, nothing! What the hell?!
8. A bunch of descriptions of locations in the mole tunnels including "Wine Cellar," "Warrior Cellar," "Library," "Shrine"...what kind of moles are these?..."Nesting Chambers," and "Storerooms" (S1-S4...the only numbered areas). These appear to be the "dungeon" referred to in the opening paragraph. This is also, apparently where the Moldiwarp lives, so I guess these are on Gnome Hill (since he's the referred to as the moldiwarp of Gnome Hill)
9. The Curse of the Maypole: a description of the Beltane plot involving that Caith kid and the moldiwarp.
10. Some box text to read when the ritual goes wrong.
11. Before the Ritual: a description of a bandit lair (Entrance Hall, Bottom Floor, Battlements) with no map, but some NPCs (no stats) with ties to the human village.
12. Wandering Monsters table for the mole tunnels.
13. After the Ritual: discussion of how the gnomes get worked up by the Beltane gone worng and kill all the bandits in the tower, occupy it, then invade the mole tunnels(!) with their war snail...does this have anything to do with the PCs?!
14. New Monsters section including giant moles, giant snails, and moldiwarps.
15. Skull Totem of the Raistling Leaf: description of a magic artifact used in the Beltane plot.

This is then followed by three pages of maps: a hex map of the region, a map of the mole tunnels, and a map of what I think is the surface above the mole tunnels...so, Gnome Hill? Maybe? It sure would be nice if the map was labeled!

EDITING. Adventure writers must learn to edit their work. Reading through this thing multiple times (in an attempt to understand it), I can only draw a couple of possible conclusions: A) the author had a larger work that was cut down to three pages of (what was deemed) the most pertinent bits, but lost the "connective tissue" that made it sensible, or B) the author just couldn't contain themselves and wrote up something big and shiny (without self-editing) and needs to learn a LOT about information presentation.

There are a lot of cool/interesting ideas going on here. But the objective was NOT to build up a micro-region suitable for a mini-campaign. And while the moldiwarp tunnels are nominally appropriate for PCs of 5th/6th level, everything else about this adventure (the town, the kid, the bandits) screams "low level scenario." Treasure count should be something in the neighborhood of 100K, but just eyeballing the loot (I've spent too much time on this already to do an exact count), it appears to be under 50K.  Too low.

This could have been a really good adventure site by tightening the concept: pick ONE thing (the Beltane scenario, for example) and lean HARD into it, excluding all the extraneous detail. Reduce the threat level (do we need 5 HD moles? A giant weasel is 3+3) to 3rd-4th level, maybe change out the moldiwarp for a magic-using spriggan...I mean, there are ways, man. And save the rest of this for when you expand the adventure into a 24 page module with more town stuff, details of the gnomes, buried goods of the Blue Band, etc.

I'm giving this two stars (out of five), even though the IDEAS here could (with a little work) easily boost it up to a 4+ rating. There's a lot of ability being demonstrated, but it needs strong editing. 

BY THE WAY: permanent illusion is an illusionist spell and, thus, could not be cast by a magic-user like Caith (not even from a scroll). Also: why "mini-ballista?" Why not just use heavy crossbow (or even ballista proper...DMG p.107)?

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