Orks. Back at it.
Blood Bowl coaches know full well that you don't...you can't...rely on orks to have a great passing attack. Great defense, pounding run game...yes and yes. But in the "modern" Blood Bowl game, putting your hopes in the stone-hands of orcish receivers (not to mention thick-headed decision making of orcish quarterbacks) is a non-starter. And if you have any doubt about it, just look at the QB "competition" that went on in preseason this year as the 'Hawks attempt to replace aging (and now overpaid prima donna) goblin star Russell Wilson.
Geno Smith. Drew Lock. Jacob Eason.
Bad, bad orks.
It doesn't matter that the team has DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett, star players both. Everything around them is ork. Receivers #3 through #5 (well, really, all the receivers just vying for a spot on the 53-man roster)...typical goblins and lineorks. But the QBs...the QBs.
Did you know that the Seahawks are the only coaching staff in the NFC that do not have a former quarterback in some coaching capacity. Not as a head coach, OC, QB coach, or even some other assistant coach. How do you coach a player to play the position of quarterback in the NFL when no one on the staff has any experience playing the position?
Answer: you don't. Because you don't need to. They're orks.
We loves Geno Smith, my Precious, but he is a career backup. Naming him the starter for a team that hopes to get back to the playoffs is...so...very...orkish. Pete Carroll is showing his green bloodedness. Again.
A decade of star quarterbacking from Wilson never scrubbed the memories of Charlie Whitehurst from my mind's eye...the archetypal "Checkdown Charlie" (semi-affectionately known in some parts as "Clipboard Jesus" based on his appearance and long-practiced role of standing on the sidelines as a stalwart QB2...or QB3). Pete Carroll duly proclaimed at the beginning of the 2011 NFL season that they had no reason to trade or draft for a new QB (to replace pro-bowler Matt Hasselbeck, released in the off-season), because they HAD their QB in the form of Whitehurst and could win with him just playing "solid" football, in front of a great running game and fantastic defense.
The Seahawks went 7-9, missed the playoffs, and would (very fortunately) draft Russell Wilson in the next season. On the way to that, Whitehurst around midseason for a dude with a torn pectoral muscle.
The Geno Smith experiment will be Whitehurst 2.0.
Do I need to cite stats for this. Probably not...the number of people reading this post who care about the Seahawks, their quarterback situation, and Blood Bowl in equal measure are probably, um, few. Probably just me. Which is, you know...fine. Nerds gotta' be nerds, y'all. But for the curious, Geno's stats passing stats for this preseason (three games), which won him the job as a starting quarterback for an NFL team (only 32 of those in the world) boil down to:
23/39, 256 yards, 0 TDs, 0 INTs, 4 sacks (36 yards)
No touchdowns. An average of 6.6 yards per passing attempt (not including some terrific "yards after catch" from some of his checkdown throws to running backs). An aversion to risk. A tendency to hang onto the ball and take sacks.
But it's the "zero interceptions" that Carroll cares about. Never mind that preseason is ALWAYS the height of Smith's season potential, when he faces vanilla defenses, and has easy reads to make. Never mind that he choked away multiple games last season (in relief of the injured Wilson), having unforgivable turnovers (picks and strip sacks) in the 4th quarter. Never mind that his ONLY won a single regular season game (playing as a starter) in the last five years.
Never mind that the Seahawks CUT Smith in the off-season, allowed him to swim the waters of free agency, and then signed him back on a one year deal. And then handed him the job.
I have to go wake up the kids now for day 2 of the soccer tournament. Thank goodness. And thank goodness for the Mariners and the Storm. JB out.
[by the way: there is no need for me to post BB stat lines for Geno Smith. If you want to include a Geno Smith in your Seahawk-themed Blood Bowl team, the basic (unaltered) Ork thrower will suffice. The same holds true for your Drew Lock backup...just make sure you chuck a lot of long balls for picks when desperation time sets in and your team is trying ANYthing to generate offense. Oh...and good luck with that]