"Dear JB" Mailbag #7

Dear JB:

This may be the least original post about D&D ever, but I need help. What do you guys do when, no matter what day you pick, one person cannot make it? It feels like it comes down to choosing favorites. I try to only suggest one date and stick with it to avoid this, but then someone in the group chat says "I can't make it that day, can we do sunday?" and then someone else says "I'm never free on sundays" and then things just pile on like that. How do I avoid this?

Why Is Scheduling SO HARD?

Hey, WISSH:

You are the Dungeon Master. You run the game. You set the schedule. There is only one person who needs to be able to make the session: YOU. Because without you (the Dungeon Master) there is no game.

Find a day and time that works for you, and run your game at that time. If it doesn't work for a player, that's tough (you can still be friends!), but they're not going to be able to participate. Maybe in the future their schedule will become more open and then they can join your table.

People like to be able to plan their activities ahead of time. Having a fixed day and time for your game is the best practice, as it allows people to plan ahead. If they want to prioritize playing in your game, they'll make sure to take it into account when pencilling in their other activities. If they don't, that's too bad (perhaps)...but don't you want the people at your table to all be people who WANT to be there? 

If a player says they can't do Wednesday night because they have book club or their weekly pick-up basketball game, they are making a choice that YOUR GAME is NOT AS IMPORTANT as their other activity.

And that's fine. These days, I don't run a regular game because I have kids that have a lot of activities that I schedule my life around because I love them and they won't be kids forever and I want to prioritize my time with them over any other thing, including gaming. But once they're grown, you can bet I'll be starting up a weekly game again...same as I had running back before they were born.

Scheduling your D&D game isn't hard, WISSH. Trying to please and accommodate everyone is hard. Stop doing that. Schedule your game and run it for the people who want to play. And when someone can't make it (because they're sick or because something of higher priority comes up), you simply play without them. This isn't rocket science.

Sincerely, 

JB