Tomorrow I'll be winging my way to Germany...again. 12 hours and 15 minutes from gate to gate, then a 90 minute drive from the airport to the venue. That's nearly 14 hours of travel to cross the more than 5,000 miles from my house, just to play some AD&D.
Having done this once already, I know it's worth the trouble.
So, before, embarking on a long, physically taxing journey across multiple time zones, to enjoy a long, mentally taxing weekend in which I run no less than five different adventure scenarios, I'm trying to relax and unwind a bit doing the non-stressful thing of living and dying on every pitch of Game 3 of the Seattle Mariners' American League Champion Series.
Yeah. Glutton for punishment.
But what are you going to do? It's the perfect conflation of circumstances. I mean, my daughter's soccer team (which I coach) has both their final game of the season on Saturday AND their first playoff game on Sunday. Yes, we made the playoffs despite a broken arm sidelining our best player the last three weeks, the conspicuous multiple absences of our club players, and our best goalie's family having a four week road trip scheduled during the second half of October (no, she won't be back for the playoffs)...did I mention her dad is my assistant coach? Well, it can't be helped. We're 5-1 and regardless of what happens Saturday, we'll be playing the next day, and I will still be in Europe. My other assistant coach...my son, Diego...will be taking the reins while I'm gone. If they get through Sunday, I'm be back in time for the semifinal.
[Mariners are currently down 6-2 in the 4th inning. Crap]
I am a ball of stress. Packing has been a bitch. What to take, what to not. I'm checking a bag...something I haven't done in literal YEARS. Can't be helped...I'm traveling with booze. My backpack will have the bulk of what I need: laptop, hardbacks, and the adventures I'm running. Dice...need to remember to pack those. No, I'm not done packing. Until this afternoon, I was still putting the finishing touches on one of the adventures (specifically, I was hand-inking the map). Hey, some of the con attendees have been speed-painting whole armies for Chainmail the last week...I have nothing to complain about.
[hold my keyboard...I've got to go cook some meatballs]
[later]
Well, the Mariners got destroyed 13-4...on the bright side, the meatballs turned out great (as did dinner in general). ALSO...having the game basically over by the 3rd inning actually made the entire event pretty much "stress free" (unlike last Friday's 15-inning, winner-take-all playoff game). Sooo...mission accomplished. I'm relaxed.
[the wine helped]
I'm still not finished packing, but I don't have to grab an uber till 1pm tomorrow (or thereabouts). *sigh* Procrastinating. I feel like I'm forgetting something...or I'm failing to do some sort of vital prep work for this trip. Or something.
I don't know. I guess I'm...nervous? Really?
Yeah. Maybe. I haven't been sleeping well of late (meaning the insomnia's been worse than usual). I just want to get through this...no, scratch that...I just want to enjoy this con, get back to Seattle, and finish the soccer season. I just want to do THAT.
And then I can move on to the next thing on my list.
Because it's been a grind lately. I haven't been writing my book...THE book...of late. Because I had so much on my plate, prepping for the convention. Prep work that's been delayed because of legal woes and the busy-ness of a kid in high school and another kid in middle school and All The Things. Glorious things, every one of them (well, except for the court stuff). But things that will mercifully settle down after NEXT Saturday.
I'm not even worried about Halloween shenanigans this year. The wife and daughter got the house decorated without me and we're taking it casual with costumes.
One more night...it's night time as I finish this missive...one more night and then one more morning and then an Uber ride to SeaTac and then a long flight, and then beer and pork and gaming with odd-shaped dice. The fantasy; the dream. Would that I could do it every six months instead of every two years. But it would probably kill me. Probably. Hard to say.
*sigh*
I'm starting to sound maudlin (the readers hate that). I had ONE glass of red wine. Okay, maybe two (call it 1.5). But I'm out of the habit. I haven't been drinking wine lately...really haven't had much at all since the first week of...what? July? Yeah. Back in Orcas. I've been cutting back. Waaay back. Had a beer a couple days ago...that was my first in a week or two. Yeah, I've cut way back. Been too busy. Still too busy. But I was cooking this evening and trying to relax at the same time. Happens.
*sigh* I'm procrastinating. Putting off what I should be doing until the last possible minute so that I can go into a fight or flight frenzy of activity and get stuff done. It's done. I just feel like it's not. I feel like I'm missing something. I feel...unsettled. Like this isn't real. I'm not really going to Germany tomorrow, am I? Really? That's someone else's life. I'm supposed to be making lunches and driving kids to piano practice (well, piano practice is actually Tuesday...after the guitar lesson. And I will be making lunches tomorrow, in the morning). Yeah. It's me. Both those things are me.
You live long enough your life becomes a kaleidoscope of disparate activities, blending together. Your identity isn't defined by labels like "profession" or "vocation" or "culture" or "nationality." Instead, it's defined by your deeds...by your actions. By what you do. I do a LOT of different things.
But right now, I'm defining myself by my inactions. Time to get off my ass and finish organize my gear for tomorrow. Plus, I've got to make sure the kid's got his light turned out. My passport is good for another three years; that's one less thing to worry about. Now I just need to decide which of my DMGs I'm going to take with me. Probably NOT the first printing...maybe my copy with the Easley cover. I don't know. I have four or five to choose from.
All right. That's enough. I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow, and I have stuff to do before I sleep.
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