The Much Maligned Bard

[this is the second time I'm sitting down to write a draft on this subject; let's see if it gets posted]

When I was a kid, the bard was my favorite character class. 

As an adult, I really like fighters (of all stripes). But the bard might still be my favorite character class. Just for different reasons.

Having said that, when I say bard, I'm talking the Rules As Written, 1E (AD&D) bard. I accept no substitutes. In fact, in all other editions of the game, the bard is dead to me.

And I've tried...Lord knows I've tried...to like bards in the various editions. The OD&D version (first published in The Strategic Review). The 2nd edition version (play-tested that one, solo, when running Return to White Plume Mountain).  The 3rd edition version (played one of those, too...a half-elf). I've included my own B/X versions of the bard in two of my own books (my B/X Companion and The Complete B/X Adventurer). I even wrote up a version of the bard for use with Holmes Basic that I thought was pretty good, and I've suggested re-skinning the cleric as a bard, for folks who don't dig a religious angle in their games.

None of these suffice to make the class palatable.

And, no, it may NOT be the "adjusted" versions of the bard that are floating around the tables playing 1E. I've tried Huso's curated, bard specific spell list. I've played the illusionist-style and song-variant versions found in Dragon #56. Heck, I've posted rules for a single-class version of the bard, myself...that I've since discarded.

All unsatisfying.

Gygax's version of the bard...the version found in Appendix II of the PHB...is the only version I use, the only version I'm interested, the only version I enjoy playing or running. I first discovered that bard circa Spring of 1985...nearly 40 years ago. I've played at least half a dozen bards since then, and run (as a DM) at least half a dozen more. Hm. More (now that I think about it)...at least 7 or 8 over the years, although several of these never made it out of the "wannabe" stage of their careers.

I like the bard as written. I run it exactly as given in the PHB. I supplement ONLY with the clarifications and Q&A info provided in the Sage Advice column of Dragon #56, all of which I have found to be sound and perfectly reasonable. Aside from the lack of alignment restriction and training costs (universal changes for my home campaign), I deviate not a whit from the class as written.

I find it perfect.

As a kid, I liked the class because it was different and it seemed to offer a lot of power: thief abilities, bard abilities, spells, good fighting. The bard characters of my youth, which I have described often enough in prior posts, were powerful, and wondrously adaptable (as all multi-class characters tend to be)...but certainly not ALL powerful. High level fighters were far better at fighting. High level clerics and magic-users were far more powerful and versatile spell-casters. High level thieves could sneak better and backstab for more damage.  

My old bard...viewed with a bit of distance and maturity...was mainly "powerful" due to the possession of fairly good psionic abilities, something few bards (or few of ANY character!) can count on acquiring. Take away the psionics and you have a middling good character with a lot of abilities that requires good play to get the most out of it.

And that's what I like about the bard these days: the challenge of the character class. Leveling the character isn't difficult...well, no more difficult than leveling any fighter (fighters take a lot of x.p. to level compared to clerics, thieves, and...yes...magic-users). But once you've switched to the thief class, leveling goes fast (assuming the bard is traveling with a similarly experienced party): the character breezes through the thief levels AND the early levels of bard as well. For players who enjoy rapid advancement...and who are willing to be patient through the slog of the fighter class...the bard pays rich dividends down the road.

But the bard is no walk-in-the-park to play.  As a fighter, you must think like a fighter. As a thief, you must think like a thief. And as a bard, you must be on your toes with regard to which class abilities you use when...it's not an easy task to juggle but for the experienced gamer, that challenge is one to be tackled with relish.

The bard's high number of hit points, excellent Charisma, and automatic language learning ability makes the character an ideal leader and negotiator/spokesman for the party. Half-elf bards (with their initial language selection) are even more so, and players should become used to this style of play (i.e. not slaying everything they encounter on first sight) as early as possible (i.e. even during the fighter portion of their career). Even when pursuing fighter or thief class, it behooves the 1E bard player to think of themselves as a "bard-in-training." The biggest mistake I made as a youth was leaning to hard into the fighter aspect of the class...and then forming habits of acting like a fighter even after I had leveled into bard (and after fighter PCs were outstripping my fighter ability). My characters died a lot, in part because of my violent approach to the game...fortunately, AD&D has a variety of magic to help recover the stupidly dead character.

Some may quibble with the bard's druidic magic and whether or not is thematically appropriate or effective. Personally, I don't care. It functions. It helps describe and define just what a bard IS in terms of an AD&D campaign (their druidic nature/training). And it doesn't allow the character's spell-casting to upstage any of the other party spell-users...druid spells are powerful in the outdoors, but in the dungeon environment, they are probably the least effective of the casters. 

And, yet, a bard will never come close to the power level of a true druid with regard to spell-casting: a 10th level bard has a spell selection of 3/3/3/2 (not counting WIS bonuses), while a druid of the same x.p. total (some 250,000) has a selection of 5/5/3/3/2/1, exclusive of WIS...let's not sniff at the druid's ability to transmute rock to mud and conjure fire elementals!

Far from over-powered, the bard is a true jack-of-all trades: a little of this, a little of that. But with invaluable abilities to the adventuring party, not just with their communication forte, but with their legend lore ability: I find that to be the skill most often used by the bard. And, yet, because of their fighter training (and high hit points) they perform well in melee. And because of their thieving abilities and good saving throws they perform adequately in a "scout" capacity.  For the player who likes to keep busy, the bard can always find something useful to do.

Without upstaging the PCs with dedicated classes.

Not that I worry all that much about "upstaging;" redundancy is a desirable aspect of party building in AD&D, so that when a PC is low on hit points or spells (or dead) another party member can step up to the plate. This is why multi-class demi-humans are so useful, even at higher levels of play (i.e. when they start topping out). The bard is effectively another multi-class character...albeit with a more circuitous route...that has several unique powers and abilities. In 1E, the bard class works well and supplements most parties quite admirably.

Yeah. I love the bard. No, it's not an easy class to play, but it is a useful class to have in a party. It's not the tricksy, obnoxious, humorous thing that it's morphed into over the last 35 years. It provides redundancy AND muscle, subtlety AND spell-craft. Consider how rangers and paladins both (eventually) gain spells; the former at 150,000 x.p., the latter at 350,000 (!!). Now consider the 1E bard is pretty much the same with its delayed spell acquisition, earning its first spell somewhere between 38,000 and 140,000 x.p. Not bad at all.

I understand the philosophical objections some have to the "meta" of the class: how can a character suddenly go from fighter to thief (let alone from thief to bard) without spending several years on training. After all, even a thief is presumed to have had a lengthy apprenticeship, learning their trade, before setting off as an adventurer. My attitude is that the bard is likewise FULLY TRAINED in all its skills: fighting, thieving, "barding." But because of their order (the bardic colleges), they are required to focus their career on certain paths to prove themselves...like requiring a person to spend time as a "resident" before awarding them the title of "doctor." In order to grow in their craft, they must exercise firm discipline and focus on each branch, growing in strength and proficiency as they hone each skill set. It's not that the character "suddenly learns thief abilities;" rather, the character has only reached a point of satisfaction with their fighter focus that they can (at last) turn their attention to the thief aspect of their class. And so on.

I dig it...I really do. But it's not just the flavor of the class that I like...it is the practical way it operates. It fulfills its own niche, a niche un-shared by any other character type. The bard is strong...and it plays well at the table. At least, that's been my experience.

And I've had a lot of experience with the bard.

; )

Mystery Dice Goblin

Sometimes people ask me to review their products. Sometimes they send me their products. My time is limited and my bandwidth for a lot of these things is...even more limited.

Mystery Dice Goblin is a group that sells dice and dice accessories (bags, etc.). Like all gaming nerds, I've purchased plenty of such things over the years, to the point that I'm a bit jaded: if I'm going to buy a dice bag or box, it better be some sort of hand-crafted, artistic nonsense, and better be in a price point that doesn't make me feel like an idiot (or is just so cool that I can't live without it). Usually, I'm a "pass" on most such things.

And dice? I have enough dice. 

But they sent me some of their signature product: their "mystery dice" bag: a small, resealable bag with a full set of seven dice. They sent me three such bags, which my kids and I quickly divided up.

And what do you know...the gimmick works! It's kind of cool to rip open a mystery bag and 'oo' and 'ah' over the dice inside. All three of the sets were different, with gemlike finishes and inset, colored numbers. Of the three sets, two of them were nice enough that they might have been worth purchasing even had they been visible (sadly, my set was not to my taste...but two out of three ain't bad).

Pic is from their web site...

As a stocking stuffer, or birthday party gift bag or similar, these are great little packets for handing out to kids (or adults) who are into geeky dice games. And the price is good: a six pack of mystery bags is only $40, which is cheaper than a standard $8-10 box. And, as said, the gimmick's fun. Like ripping into a Cracker Jack box to get the prize. Dig it.

All right: Friday commercial done.

In other news: disappointing Seahawks game last night, but we've watched a lot of disappointing Seahawks-Niners match-ups the last couple years. Two dwarf teams in a row (Giants, too)...and dwarves are rough for orks. Especially when the dwarves are GOOD (which is the case with San Francisco, injuries or not). *sigh*

Watched The Spine of Night the other day. Not bad. But not great. The story felt very post-apocalyptic up until the end when it gets all mythical, fallen gods, and blah-blah-blah. Would have preferred fallen space men in a 50th century Earth, but oh well (AND, if one is looking for inspiration for a PA, warring city-state campaign world, the first hour or so is pretty groovy). Some of the (still) art was great. Some of the animation was pretty...mm..."pedestrian."  In other words, the movie was a mixed bag and uneven. However, for what is (basically) a 90 minute film that would have been par for Heavy Metal magazine, it wasn't terrible. 

And...this ain't the greatest blog post. But it's Friday and I'm busy. Later gators!

Old Friends

Last night, I attended Josh's 50th birthday bash.

Damn. Who's Josh? some folks are asking. Well, waaaaay back at the start of last decade (i.e. 2010), Josh was one of my regular Thursday Night gaming group down at the Baranof in Greenwood. Even though it's been a decade plus since that group ended (I moved to Paraguay in 2014, remember?) I've kept in touch with Josh...even been out to see his bar band a couple times in the last year. Our family exchanges Christmas cards. He's good people.

ANYway...for his birthday he had an "adult pizza party" (i.e. they rented out a loft of a nearby pizza parlor and served a lot of beer...). Like Josh himself, the affair was low-key and causal: no cake, candles, or singing, and the invitees were an assortment of work buddies, band members, and old friends plus a few wives/girlfriends. A fairly small gathering all told...maybe a couple dozen people?

But several of those people were the old gaming crew: Matthew was there with his wife, and Matt, and also Randy (the youngest of our original group, now turned 40). Guys I haven't see in over a decade for the most part. 

And, man, it was good to see and talk to them. Yeah, we're all looking older now: fatter, grayer (or straight-up bald). But damn, at least everyone was positive. Stress levels seem fairly low, attitudes were pretty upbeat. Maybe it was the festive atmosphere, or the reason we'd gathered, or just that folks felt the same as me...just good to catch up with old friends in a casual environment. Or maybe, it's just that Josh attracts "good people" as friends. 

Or maybe it has something to do with us all leaving our kids at home. I do hang out with adults...often!...at various events, but they almost always involve a passel of kids (school, sports, a funeral I attended Friday, etc.) And around kids (our own or other folks) we always seem to be slightly on edge and/or uptight. We have to watch what we're saying; we have to model proper behavior, etc. It's not that Josh's party saw a lot of people cutting loose and getting crazy...as I said it was low-key and dignified. But still: that slight stress of little eyes watching and little ears listening and little minds learning...that stress was lifted. And that was nice.

SO, funny enough, there ended up being a LOT of D&D talk at the gathering. Not just with the old crew, but with new people I'd never met. Apparently, even though I don't hang with those guys anymore, they still talk about me. And about our old games. And so I got introduced around as the old Dungeon Master guy and they wanted to know what I was up to and yadda-yadda-yadda.  Spent quite a bit of time in four different conversations explaining 1st edition AD&D and how and why I run my games the way I do.

[just so folks know, I did spend time in OTHER conversations, too: about kids and school and weather and soccer and Paraguay and politics and earthquakes and bands and food and all that other 'casual party conversation' jazz...I'm not a TOTAL nerd, even if (these days) I am an unrepentant one]

One guy, slightly older than me, was talking about his newfound love of DMing (he boldly stated that when he retires, DMing is the main thing he plans on doing). He runs all sorts of games, but goes more for the "rules light" stuff these days (he talked about enjoying his Mothership game). Me being ntroduced to the guy as a "good DM" by Josh, he wanted to pick my brain for my thoughts on why people consider my games "good" or (I assume) enjoyable. I was not trying to convert the guy over to "my side" or anything (that kind of preachy-ness is something I reserve for the blog), but even so, I think I might have changed his perspective a little bit. Here's a guy who's been running regular games with regular (adult) people for the last four years, and all of a sudden I could see him opening his eyes (or, rather, his mind) to the possibility of running D&D as a true game, rather than as this role-playing thing (which he's not as big into anyway).

Randy and Matt and Matthew also, it turns out, are still gaming together, doing a regular Thursday night thing along with another old Baranof crony, Heron (aka the Iron Goat). They are running 5E these days, but I didn't give them a hard time about it...instead we talked about the various things they liked (playing D&D with good friends, generally) and the things they didn't (differences in play styles, min-maxing versus role-playing, lack of player agency because of story based rewards, length/complication of combat encounters, etc.). Again...and this is important!...I did NOT make any attempt to criticize or rain on their parade with eulogies about "what they're doing wrong" or anything like that; I save that kind of dickishness for Ye Old Blog. I just wanted to listen and explained my own, current, perspective on the D&D game (short version: I've found the robustness of 1E to be more conducive to long-term campaign play, and focus more on the world building than previously).  It would seem that currently their characters are around 9th level and they are getting ready to take on a god and so (perhaps) they're campaign is starting to wind down a bit(?). "Sounds like you're having a good time," is about all I said to that.

But I did offer some of my perspective on the "min-maxer" v. "role-player" thing. Matt was the one being offered up as the example of the former (he complained to me a bit...in a side conversation...about how his character, a rogue, has become an "advantage junkie," needing to gain his backstab bonus damage just to feel like he's contributing to the group; meanwhile, Matthew was the one being roasted for his penchant for "role-playing," making sub-optimal decisions or getting caught up in tangential ideas. Having DMed both these guys before, my labels for them would be a little different: Matt is more task focused and Matthew enjoys the escapism of a fantasy world. The fix for both players is pretty much the same...run a 1E game...but I didn't say that (well, not exactly or explicitly). But I did try to share how world building and offering players more agency in how they interact with the world  could assuage or mitigate these tendencies (currently viewed as idiosyncratic if not problematic). 

Or, at least, that's what I tried to do. It's fine; they're having fun. Matt said he even 'bit the bullet' and purchased/downloaded the new 2024 PHB (though I didn't hear a whole lot of enthusiasm for One D&D...). As I said, I really was NOT trying to convert anyone to anything.

There will come a time, in the not-so-distant future, when I will finally get off my ass and start running a regular game for adults again (I've even picked out the bar I want to run at and, no, it is NOT the Baranof). Even then, when that happens, I don't plan on being some sort of evangelist preaching the "Gospel of AD&D." I'm jut going to run the game. Having seen the power of 1E in action, I expect the players will end up converting themselves into "true believers" (as often happens).  To which I'll strive to give the proper response: I just run the game. I'm only using this ruleset because it works for the kind of game I want to run...The End. 

Anyhoo. It was nice seeing the boys again. It was nice talking D&D shop with nerds my age. It was nice that Randy expressed his appreciation for me introducing him to the game (a game he's now been DMing for 10 years). It was nice to be remembered fondly. Hell, it was nice Josh's drummer invited me to karaoke to show off my vocal chops (I politely declined). It was just a nice evening.

After a long Saturday of soccer games and running around with the family it was nice to have a break. I'm really glad I went.

Politics -- One Last Time

This one's going to be long, meandering, and a bit all over the place. If you want something shorter (and lighter), you can check out yesterday's Blood Bowl nonsense.

SO...let's start with my health. Was sick as a dog over the weekend...had to miss pretty much everything on my schedule and felt like crap to boot. Turns out I had (and still have...despite few remaining symptoms) COVID for the second time. Such a weird illness...it affects different people differently. For my daughter (who was also down) she mainly complained of a sore throat and sniffle. For me, it was non-stop cough...much like the chronic bronchitis I used to come down with every year for the first 12-13 years after I quit smoking. Oh, and constant sweating without fever. Just weird.

Now it's got my wife (she's coughing, too, though not as bad as I was), and my son just woke up achey with a sore throat (though he's still testing negative). Second time round for all of us, and mainly just a pain in the ass. Which, I'm sure, sounds pretty dismissive to people who saw friends and loved ones DIE to the damn thing during the first wave of the pandemic. But that's where we are now. I didn't contract COVID (the first time) till sometime in 2023 and...I'm guessing due to the multiple vaccines I've taken...I've never had it worse than a bad cold. Hell, I've had walking pneumonia (and the aforementioned bronchial infections) that taxed me more and lingered longer. Heck, I've had bog-standard sinus-infections that I found more irritating and inconvenient (since I find it impossible to carry on my normal life blowing my nose every five minutes). But still...yeah. COVID still sucks.

Yet the "forced break" in activity did give me a chance to reflect and reset a bit (hey! look! two blog posts in two days!). I've actually been reflecting on a good number of things the last couple-four weeks, but stopping to breathe (*ahem*) has allowed me to coalesce some of those reflections. 

With regard to politics (uh-oh!) I've found myself shifting in the way I think and approach the...mm..."messy" political landscape of the day. Perhaps this comes from not having much interest in the current Presidential race. I mean there's literally nothing I can imagine happening that would cause me to shift my vote (nor prevent me from voting) so the speeches and debates have about as much impact/interest for me as the advertising/propaganda...i.e. about the same level of curiosity as a car wreck on the freeway, something to cast a quick glance towards as I speed along to my actual destination. 

And, yet, I've found myself watching multiple interviews and discussions with actual Republican constituents discussing, candidly and thoughtfully, their reasons for supporting their party and their candidate...interviews and discussions that weren't full of crazy and/or conspiracy stuff.  And I find my stance towards these people...towards Republicans...has softened considerably. And not in a high-minded, "pitying the ignorant or misinformed" bullshitty way. I mean, I appreciate and...in many cases...agree with their beliefs and values which echo so many of my own. 

Goddamnit. They're still Americans. And Goddamnit. So am I.

People who preach fear and hate of the "other" (immigrants, muslims, queer folk, etc.) for political gain or who try to make a buck off peoples' religious devotion...those folks can still all eat a pile of shit. But people wearing MAGA hats and flying Trump flags in their yard? Nah. I get you. I dig where you're coming from. And I'm willing to love and embrace you as fellow Americans. Stay strong in your values. Vote as your conscience dictates. I want you in my nation. 

Two anecdotes (one new and one I believe I've mentioned before) that I want to relate:

Two Saturdays ago, the Washington State University Cougars beat the University of Washington Huskies in a shallow version of the Apple Cup played in Seattle at Lumen Field (the Seahawks stadium). For folks who don't follow college football, this was the first time in 124 years that it had been played as "non-conference" game, due to the wholesale dismantling of the historic PAC-12, aka The Conference of Champions. As usual, I was rooting for WSU because, having attended Seattle University (cross-town rivals in non-football sports), I long ago cast my lot with my many Coug alumni friends, all of whom live in the greater Seattle area, and many of whom grew up here just as I did. 

Despite the game being played in Seattle there was plenty of red & grey in attendance (not surprising given that at least a quarter of WSU alumni live on this side of the Cascades). After the Cougar victory, the WSU fans began chanting "USA! USA! USA!"...a little strange given this wasn't a game between different nations, like a World Cup match or Olympic event. When one WSU supporter was asked the reason for this chanting, the woman replied:

"Because we're from small towns! We're part of the REAL America, unlike this evil fucking city."

That's one anecdote.

The other, which I'm sure I've related before, is regarding my friend Jon. I haven't actually seen or hung out with Jon since pre-pandemic; he and his wife, Maggie, were good friends of ours but we've drifted apart in recent years mostly (I believe) due to the disparity in the ages of our kids (it took my wife and I five years trying before we got our first) and thus a branching of our social circles.

Probably the last time our families got together was a few months prior to the last presidential election, and I'd guess that Jon is thrilled about Kamala Harris being the Dem's candidate for president. Thrilled because he was a strong supporter of hers the LAST time there was a presidential election (before she ended up dropping out). I was not a big fan of Harris at the time, for lots of reasons (mainly inexperience), but she was the "clear choice" for Jon, just as Bernie Sanders had been his "clear choice" for the 2016 race (a race in which I was supporting Clinton). Jon, you see, is a progressive Democrat. He is all about the progressive agenda/platform. He's only a year younger than me and we share a lot in common: we're left-leaning liberals, college educated, pro-union, big sports fans. But he was raised in urban Chicago with a single mother, an estranged father, and no religious upbringing. With regard to Dungeons & Dragons, he has no interest, and never has; he remembers the game being around when he was growing up, but:

"I always got the impression it was only a white person's game."

Now, for the record, Jon is white: 100% caucasian. So is his wife. So are their two kids (both of whom are their non-adopted, biological offspring). But Jon is all about diversity...the more diversity the better. He is all about squelching anything that stands as a throwback to an older, whiter paradigm. Because "old" and "white" does not equal progress. And we must make progress, dammit! That's one reason he insists on his children going to public schools, rather than an elitist, private school like the Catholic one my children attend.

Of course, his kids tested into the Robert Eagle Staff school...a public school that boasts a higher academic curriculum than other (public) elementary schools. It has a 55.6% caucasian student population compared to the 45.4% average of Seattle public schools.  Meanwhile, my kids' "elitist" school is only 53.3% white, though the actual numbers vary from grade to grade: my son's class is only 50% white, for instance, while my daughter's class is only 40% white.

[FWIW my multi-racial son's best friend is a blonde haired white kid that goes to public school. Both kids love playing D&D]

I do not recount these anecdotes to make anyone feel good, bad, superior, inferior, etc. Neither do I recount them to sway you to my side of any "political" argument or spectrum. I am simply sharing stories I have...stories that linger in my thoughts; stories that color my reflections.

We are...all of us...unreasonable at times. I certainly am. There are many, MANY times when I get my teeth in some silly argument, some nonsensical side of some truly non-mattering pissing war and absolutely refuse to let go. You see it countless times through the history of this blog. Fighting for one edition of Dungeons & Dragons over another. Fighting for one style of play over another. Fighting for one particular value or perspective over another. And when we are "unreasonable" it doesn't mean that we are without reason (at least, that's not how I intend the term to be used), but that we are unwilling to reason, i.e. to entertain, or even listen to, the reasons of another (reasoning) human being.

And yet, on this blog, I actually do try to be reasonable, more often than not. Most of my "unreasonable moments" occur off-screen, mainly (sadly) with my wife and often (almost always) with later regret. It is a challenge I have, and one I have never really attempted to address...at least not with serious intent (as I've addressed other challenging aspects of my personality over the years). It is only now, with some reflection, that I am even thinking about it: how, in the heat of 'battle,' I cease to consider that other reasoning individuals have reasonable reasons of their own. 

[and how many times have I whined and complained about the unreasonableness of others without addressing my own unreasoning?]

As I predicted at the beginning: this post is long and meandering. But I'm going to try to wind it to a close, for those folks who've been hanging on this long.

Waaaay back in 2021 (just a bit more than three years ago), I wrote a blog post describing how I would no longer allow an individual's political agenda inform my opinion or support of the person as pertains to gaming and game design. There are political conservatives who are one the same page with me when it comes to this hobby, and there are plenty of political liberals who aren't.  Having taken that stance has served me well in the practice of my vocation.

However, with these recent reflections, I've decided I'm going to take a similar approach to people in general. I've never faulted anyone for not sharing my religion (a religion I was born into), any more than I've "faulted" anyone for not sharing my particular skin tone. Considering that my political party is at least as much due to my own parents (both Democrats) as it is to ideology, it's about time I stop faulting people for being part of the Right. I'm just not going to waste any more time/energy getting bent out of shape over how a person wants to vote. Like zero. I like that I live in a country where I get to vote; I've been voting since I was 18, and even voted (absentee) during the years I was in Paraguay. We are LUCKY we are a people who get a say in who gets elected to run this country. I want every eligible voter to vote...not enough people vote! It's friggin' AMERICAN to vote.

Vote how you want. It's fine.

Because, man, O man am I tired of hating people. And for the longest time I just hated Republicans: Hawks and Neo-Cons and Christian Rights and Tea Partyers and gun nuts and conspiracy theorists and...just...all of it. But, heck, I hated a lot of Democrats, too...O So Many Dems, from uber-progressives to spineless intellectuals to clueless braindead hippies to ineffectual Hope-fulls trying to Build Consensus Like A Grown-Up Society Should...and getting nothing accomplished. Oh: and the conspiracy theorists on the Left (that's its own rabbit hole you don't want to delve).

I'm done with it...with ALL of it.  I don't hate you, my fellow Americans. I love you. With all your weirdness. We are a weird group of people, we Americans. We are also a Great people. We are BLESSED to live in a country that not only tolerates but THRIVES on having so many different, screwed up peoples in it. It is what makes us SO POWERFUL. And man O man, we have FUCKED UP a LOT of things over the years...for both ourselves and the rest of the world. But we've also done a lot of good stuff, too.  I truly believe this "American experiment" has been a net positive force for good on this planet. 

Whatever your political persuasion is All Right By Me. I'm going to judge people solely by their actions from now on, rather than their bumper stickers. Strange thing: I've met very few people in my life that I'd qualify as true assholes...and of those I can recall, I don't recall any of them being particularly political. Being a true asshole means being a pretty un-caring individual, and people who don't care are (I've found) disinclined to vote at all. 

I'd rather people care. Even if they care in a different way from how I care. 

So there you go. I don't anticipate having much more to say about politics in the future (I might mention something about the results of the November election...maybe a "yay" or a "boo" depending on the result). Everyone who's read my blog for the last upteen number of years knows how I vote anyway, and I no longer care how YOU vote (I just hope you do vote...). And...as I get my strength/mojo back...you should expect to see more 'gaming related' posts in the future. 

Thank you for today's indulgence. 

New Orks

September drizzle...finally starting to look like Seattle fall around here. Not that I don't like an abundance of late year sunshine (sure makes the soccer games less miserable), but when I need to recharge my batteries...and I've been sick as a dog the last few days..."comfort," for me, is more a piece of "normal" or "usual."

Anyway...I had a couple of deep think-thoughts I was intending to blog about, but they were semi-political in nature, and for a Monday morning that might not be everyone's cup o tea.

Let's talk Blood Bowl instead.

; )

SO...I don't think I've had a BB post since the end of the Pete Carroll era. 

[checking Ye Old Blog archives...nope, sure haven't]

I've written this before, but FOR ME...and understand I'm a weird kind of guy...NFL teams have their equivalence in the Blood Bowl realm. That is, to say, each NFL team identifies as a particular team type (again, in my mind) by the way and style in which they play...and in which they play best. For some teams this is fairly obvious, for others it's murky, but it's there. 

If you follow American football, you see it. New coaches (often) talk about "wanting to change a culture" when they join a team...but it doesn't really happen. You can change the perspective of being a perennial loser (or winner), but the identity of the team? No. Even high profile free agents tend to take on the existing culture of the team, once they get there. Peyton Manning didn't change the Broncos into the Colts, for example.

Yes, I'm weird. And part of my perspective...this mix of Blood Bowl and the NFL in my brain...no doubt has to do with my BB hobby beginning with the 2nd edition game, when the setting still included conferences and divisions analogous to the actual NFL. Back before they made the thing into something resembling English Premier League with its cups and tourneys and tiers. 

*sigh* I digress. 

ANYhoo. The Seahawks. New coach. New "culture." Except it's the same culture. It's just a different coach. They're still orks. 

Which, again, doesn't mean their dumb or mean or cheaters or whatever. What I'm saying is that they are a team whose culture plays like orks...the way an ork team plays in a game of Blood Bowl. 

The Miami Dolphins, on the other hand, are a wood elf team. I've been saying that for years...at least since 2010. Lot of reasons for this. Marino, of course (he was the 'Fins captain till '99...years after BB was first published). But also the weather in Miami...televised games at their stadium always conjures to mind the "summer lands" of Games Workshop's dark Tolkien setting. Regardless, it fits...especially with their current, high-flying, high speed, high octane offensive juggernaut.

[that Zach Sieler guy? He's the Treeman on the team. What a beast]

Treeman

Yesterday's 24-3 (Seattle) victory is what happens when things start going horribly wrong in a game of orks versus wood elves. 

I say this as a person who's played a lot of ork v. wood elf teams (my son's favorite squad). Things do NOT always go that way...sometimes you see the elves doing their swift footed crosses and dodges and sprints down the sideline for a plentitude of touchdowns. But sometimes the orks start breaking the armor on the elves, and it snowballs into a beatdown.

Tua is a great QB. Listening to the post-game analysis this morning, it is clear the orks dodged a bullet by not having to face Miami's normal trigger-man; the Dolphins ran their same offense even with their back-ups. Thompson and Bailey just weren't going to get it done; it's like when the team thrower gets injured and...because the wood elves are so expensive...you're forced to play the game with a journeyman line-elf. Who still has a high AG score, but no re-rolls (team or otherwise) available. If Tua had been available, we're probably talking about a much closer game (especially with orks coughing up the ball as orks do) if not a crushing home loss.

Geno Smith has played great through the first three games of the season; his profile in BB terms:

Ork Thrower MA 5 ST 3 AG 3 AV 9

Skills: Pass, Sure Hands

His new back-up, Sam Howell (a starter in Washington last season), has this profile:

Ork Thrower MA 5 ST 3 AG 3 AV 9

Skills: Pass, Sure Hands

All apologies to Geno's ego and strong right arm (both are notable) you'll notice that he is, still, just an ork thrower; Howell, who looked good in preseason (and great against Seattle's train wreck defense last season) is pretty much the exact same thing. They are cheap (by quarterback standards), they are serviceable, and they need good coaching and good skill pieces around them to function at their highest level. Which fortunately they appear to have in spades this season. 

An ork in Washington, and an
ork in Seattle. Yeah, just another ork.

And, no, don't say "duh." There are QBs that can elevate the team around them. You know the guys: the Mahomes, Rodgers, Allen, etc. factor. Some QBs do this, or have another factor (Lamar Jackson's legs, for example) that force an opponent to account specifically for the guy's particular skill set. That ain't the case with Seattle's quarterbacks.

Meanwhile, the coaching change...for the better...has been noticeable. Yes, the Seahawks are 3-0 after playing a rookie, a rebuilding New England, and a pair of back up QBs, but the difference is Seattle was losing those games a year ago; they were getting killed by the Colt McCoy's and Mason Rudolph's of the league. That the team can take care of business...beating bad teams that they should beat...is a promising sign of things to come. As a fan of the team, I find myself not just hopeful but darn near optimistic. Despite the crap-tastic orc sloppiness on full display for some 2-3 quarters of the game (bumbled snaps, batted passes, double-digit penalties, etc.).

No dropped passes Sunday, though. And the defense was on point...great goal line stands, at the end of both halves. Nice to see some real orkish thump on that side of the ball...haven't seen that for three or four years. Good, good stuff. We'll see how it holds up on the road next week in Detroit.

All right, that's enough BB stuff for one day. The NFL season is in full swing and the home team is trending up. What with the drizzly weather and my cough nearly gone, that's about all the joy I can handle for one, late September day.

; )

[don't ask me about the Mariners]

Spencer

No apologies. Just been busy.

Some fifteen years ago, I introduced two kids...Zach and Spencer...to the D&D game. The children of our good friends, we refer to them as our "nephews" (they call us Uncle and Aunt), and we've been taking care of them/hosting them since they were little. Spencer, at age 4, was the ring bearer at our wedding in Mexico.

Well, it's been a long time since they were "little." Zach is 30 and 6'5", a former power lifter/body builder, he now resides in Virginia where he's working on his doctorate in organic chemistry. Younger brother Spencer (age 27) is a 6'1", 230# rock climber and professional chef, who's worked in some of New York City's best restaurants...he's come a long way since the last time I saw him (when he just heading off to culinary school).

But the kid is still our "first baby," despite the tattoos and the earrings and the fact that I only come up to the guy's chest. He's in town till September 11th, after which he's flying out to Madrid for a while before moving to Australia (for 2025), and he wanted to get together with us. And so we made it happen over the Labor Day weekend (not like we had anything else planned besides a three day soccer tournament for Diego). And wouldn't you know it, but the kid is still a big nerd who was absolutely Jonesin' for some hardcore Dungeons & Dragons. I guess there isn't much D&D in the East Coast culinary scene (not that they have any time with 80 hour work weeks...ah, to be 27 again!).

So, Spence and I had a long discussion on Saturday (while sitting on the sidelines pre-soccer match). Discussed why his few forays into "modern D&D" had been unsatisfying. Explained why my version of D&D is different. Gave a brief history of the game's evolution, including why I write/sell the books I do. I didn't bother explaining to him the OSR or "CAG" or any of that rigamarole...just kept it simple, by explaining the difference between playing the game as a game and playing the game as scripted television for a YouTube camera (which he has watched, with both consternation and disgust).

THEN I explained to him that I'm running AD&D these days, unlike the B/X that I taught him and his brother all those years ago, and why and some of that edition's differences. Oh, boy was he down to play 1E!

So we did. Kids' first day of school was yesterday, but it was only a half day. Spence came over a little after noonish, and we just played solid AD&D till 5pm (when I had to take Sofia to soccer practice...I'm co-coaching the 5th graders again). He and my wife (along with Diego) whipped up a magnificent carbonara, and we had Spencer's parents over for a little wine and festivity, just like old times. We even had "dueling desserts" (I made my blackberry cobbler, he came with a raspberry crumble...I think mine turned out better, but..well, I'm eating the remains of his dessert as I type this).

Just about as flawless a day as I could ask for.

Fifteen years, I've been writing this blog. Twenty-five or so years since the first time I met Spencer. Time flies. I've written that so many times over the years,  it feels ridiculous to be jotting it down again. But it's so worth emphasizing. The years pass by quicker and quicker, especially when we're busy. And as I get older, and I see more time stretching behind me than in front of me, it's hard (for me) not to feel whimsical or melancholic. It's hard. Damn hard. Which leads me to try to stay busy (so I don't dwell on it)...which, of course, leads the time to flit by all the faster.  

I am enjoying my life, however (the vast majority of it for certain). 

Our game session was great, just by the way. We all had a blast, especially Spen. The adventure is, as yet, unresolved (we're still playing Dragon Wrack) so we might try to get together one more time before he hops his plane. I know he would like to do so, but it's a matter of making all the schedules work (four soccer games plus the Seahawks playing their home opener this weekend...and my kids are running cross country this fall, too). We'll see what happens. But at least he got to play again...this time as an adult...and saw that it's not all "nostalgia" in his head. The game is fun, the game works, the game can be played for a lifetime. It makes me so happy to have been able to show that to him.

And to my kids, too...it's not just Old Man Pops who is into this D&D stuff. Cool "Cousin Spencer" digs it, too.

Delightful.

I will, perhaps (hopefully), write about the particulars of the session in a separate blog post. A lot of fun, memorable moments (aren't there always?), but it's just war stories. The playing is the important bit. The ramped up tension. The excitement. The terror. The fun. A lot of (imaginary) treasure gathered; a lot of (imaginary) blood spilled. The usual. But, sure, I might blog about it...just to have a record of it, to look back on fondly in another dozen years or so.

One last thing: I did (briefly) mention the Cauldron convention to Spencer. Oh, man, was he intrigued. As I said, he'll be in Australia next year...which is the next year I plan on trying to get back. But 2026 or '27? Yeah, he's totally down. We'll be making it a twosome, if he can get the time off work. Hell, maybe even a threesome...I'm not sure sixteen year old Diego will be ready for such an excursion, but I know he wants to go.  Good times.

; )

D&D Combat

Good morning! Sorry, it's been a while...last week was busy, as was the weekend, though we did have a chance to get back to our on-going exploration of Dragon Wrack. Unfortunately for the kids, the session didn't end well.

It started well enough: they found the hoard of great the red dragon, Usumgallu, and looted the hell out of it for about an hour (for the adventure module, I created a procedure for searching dragon hoards, given that players generally want to pick out the best bits of these piles; it's in the appendix). Time was of the essence as the approaching Red Wing of the dragon army was close to arriving...had they exited the temple-fortress via the tunnel to the dragon pits outside the city, they would have found themselves quickly barbecued. 

However, they instead decided to go back up to he temple proper and find a different exit, blundering into the Black Wing's color guard standing watch over their army's battle standard. While four elite orcs aren't a match for an eight-strong band of seasoned adventurers, the horns and sounds of combat brought another 40 orcs who completely surprised the party and quickly grappled them...all except the assassin, Salamander, whose 17 dexterity allowed him to react, and whose boots of speed allowed him to escape capture.

Total treasure found: 296,147 g.p. plus a huge assortment of unidentified magic items. However, more than half of that was in a bag of holding that was captured by the orcs. Salamander absconded with the party's other bag of holding (it is his, after all). Diego plans on attempting a rescue of the prisoners (that will be our next session). but he's not terribly thrilled at the prospect.

I wanted to write a bit about running D&D combat, especially AD&D combat. I get a lot of questions on the subject (usually via private email), and have thrown in my two cents on various blogs and forums elsewhere. Combat is not, in my opinion, a very difficult thing to do, but one needs to approach it from the right perspective; the correct mindset, I find, is incredibly helpful.

First off, remember D&D is a game. Hold that firmly in mind. I will elaborate on this in a second, but it's important enough to mention first. 

Second, one has to understand that D&D's roots are literary, not cinematic. It is to be expected (these days) that a lot of people coming to the game form many of their assumptions of fantasy adventure from films and television shows (both live-action and animated) that they have watched.  However, it is not useful to think of D&D combat in terms of what one sees on the screen. Cinematic combat, like all things in a cinematic story, is supposed to exist for one (or both) of two reasons: to develop a character or further the plot. 

[of course, some filmmakers will also do combat simply for entertainment (fan service/expectation, etc.) which is why some combat scenes might be called "gratuitous," but let's not digress too much]

Because cinema is a visual medium, combat needs to be visually interesting, and over the years elaborate choreography has been developed to appeal to an audience that (presumably) has watched countless "fight scenes" over the years and need different, more elaborate or intense, forms of stimulation to maintain the viewers' engagement. Scenes play out with fancy maneuvers, camera zooms on individual 'moves' and actions, each swing of the blade being emphasized, each punch or kick being given attention, slow motion being employed to show the specific tripping or headbutting or individual wound that causes a specific form of pain and suffering.  

It is akin to the comic book form of story telling, where each individual panel is a moment of frozen time, to be lingered over by the reader's eye.

Generally speaking, combat in literature is nothing like this. Whether you're talking Tolkien or Howard or any of the other fantasy/pulp influences on D&D, the literary medium is not a place you will find blow-by-blow combat scenes...certainly not on the scale one finds in TV and film.

"About turn!" [Gandalf] shouted. "Draw your sword Thorin!"

There was nothing else to be done, and the goblins did not like it. They came scurrying around the corner in full cry, and found Goblin-cleaver, and Foe-hammer shining cold and bright right in their astonished eyes. The ones in front dropped their torches and gave one yell before they were killed. The ones behind yelled still more, and leaped back knocking over those running after them. "Biter and Beater!" they shrieked, and soon they were all in confusion, and most of them were hurling back the way they had come.

The Hobbit, Chapter 4 (Tolkien)

He beat the creature off with his hands -- it was trying to poison him, as small spiders do to flies -- until he remembered his sword and drew it out. Then the spider jumped back, and he had time to cut his legs loose. After then it was his turn to attack. The spider was evidently not used to things that carried such stings at their sides, or it would have hurried away quicker. Bilbo came at it before it could disappear and stuck it with his sword right in the eyes. Then it went mad and leaped and danced and flung out its legs in horrible jerks, until he killed it with another stroke....

The Hobbit, Chapter 8 (Tolkien)

Jehungir did not try again. That was his last arrow. He drew his scimitar and advanced, confident in his spired helmet and close-meshed mail. Conan met him half-way in a blinding whirl of swords. The curved blades ground together, sprang apart, circled in glittering arcs that blurred the sight which tried to follow them. Octavia, watching, did not see the stroke, but she heard its chopping impact, and saw Jehungir fall, blood spurting from his side where the Cimmerian's steel had sundered his mail and bitten to his spine.

The Devil In Iron (Howard)

Shifting his reddened scimitar to his left hand, he drew the great half-blade of the Yuetshi. Khosatral Khel was towering above him, his arms lifted like mauls, but as the blade caught the sheen of the sun, the giant gave back suddenly. 

But Conan's blood was up. He rushed in, slashing with the crescent blade. And it did not splinter. Under its edge the dusky metal of Khosatral's body gave way like common flesh beneath a cleaver. From the deep gash flowed a strange ichor, and Khosatral cried out like the dirging of a great bell. His terrible arms flailed down, but Conan, quicker than the archers who had died beneath those awful flails, avoided their strokes and struck again and yet again. Khosatral reeled and tottered; his cries were awful to hear, as if metal were given a tongue of pain, as if iron shrieked and bellowed under torment.

Then wheeling away he staggered into the forest; he reeled in his gait, crashed through bushes and caromed off trees. Yet though Conan followed him with the speed of hot passion, the walls and towers of Dagon loomed through the trees before the man came within dagger-reach of the giant.

Then Khosatral turned again, flailing the air with desperate blows, but Conan, fired to berserk fury, was not to be denied. As a panther strikes down a bull moose at bay, so he plunged under the bludgeoning arms and drove the crescent blade to the hilt under the spot where a human's heart would be.

Khosatral reeled and fell.

The Devil Iron (Howard)

Five Picts were dancing about them with fantastic leaps and bounds, waving bloody axes; one of them brandished the woman's red-smeared gown. 

At the sight a red haze swam before Balthus. Lifting his bow he lined the prancing figure, black against the fire, and loosed. The slayer leaped convulsively and fell dead with the arrow through his heart. Then the two men and the dog were upon the startled survivors. Conan was animated merely by his fighting spirit and an old, old racial hate, but Balthus was afire with wrath. 

He met the first Pict to oppose him with a ferocious swipe that split the painted skull, and sprang over his falling body to grapple with the others. But Conan had already killed one of the two he had chosen, and the leap of the Aquilonian was a second late. The warrior was down with the long sword through him even as Balthus' ax was lifted. Turning toward the remaining Pict, Balthus saw Slasher rise from his victim, his great jaws dripping blood.

Balthus said nothing as he looked down at the pitiful forms in the road beside the burning wain. 

Beyond the Black River, Chapter 6 (Howard)

I could go on, of course, citing other examples. I'm currently reading E.C. Tubb's Dumarest saga, a series of science fiction books that seem to have been a major influence on Marc Miller's Traveller game (I am considering starting a classic Traveller campaign and want some inspiration). Reading these old SciFi pulps from the 60s and 70s, one finds plenty of action (Dumarest is a pretty beefy action hero) is less "dripping blood" than in Howard's Conan stuff, but it's still pretty good adventure fiction. It is also well devoid of blow-by-blow tactical exchanges. The specific details of fights are glossed over, unimportant: "they attacked." "he struggled." "the enemy fell, dead." Etc. And then the book goes back to the story, the adventure, at hand.

D&D comes from a literary tradition. It is not D&D's fault that people don't read like they used to; it's not D&D's fault that people discover fantasy through a movie or cartoon instead of a book. But it is OUR fault, if we make the mistake of wanting combat in D&D to be as elaborate and cinematic as we see in an episode of Game of Thrones, and feel disappointed by what the game offers.

Again, back to my first point: D&D is a game. It is NOT a game of combat...it is a game of fantasy adventure. Combat is an important aspect of fantasy adventure: you see this in the literary medium which spawned D&D. Thus, one needs specific rules for running combat. However, combat in and of itself is not the be-all, end-all of the genre. It is just one aspect, and requires only as much importance as what it gets.

Thus, we have D&D (or, for my purposes, AD&D) combat. We have attack rolls and damage rolls and hit points. We have initiative. We have surprise. We have lists of armor and weapons, and we have rules for minor tactical maneuvers: charging, attacking people that flee, auto-hits on characters that have been paralyzed by magic effects, etc. It is not an elaborate game of strike, parry, dodge, roll with punch, strike for weak spots, etc...it is an abstract system for resolving fights quickly and simply. Because that's what it emulates. You want that other stuff, go play Palladium (Kevin Siembieda was a comic book guy FIRST, and it shows in his system). You want realism with regard to death and dismemberment, go play 1st edition Stormbringer (which wonderfully emulates the non-heroic literature of Moorcock's fiction). That's not what D&D is. 

Heroic. Fantasy. Adventure. Game. 

Characters fight until they're dead, they flee, they surrender, or they're victorious. That's it. And then...back to the adventure. Back to what's going on. In a game of "resource management," hit points are the characters' most important resource...because when they're done, you're done.

Mm. Of course my players had plenty of hit points remaining when they were captured. I suppose hit points and brains are the players' most important resources, followed closely by luck. Guess I should have said "hit points are the characters' most important measurable resource." Yeah, that makes more sense.

All right...that's enough for now.