Ghostlight Mesa (J. Coffey)
An adventure (I guess)
I am reviewing these in the order they were submitted. For my review criteria, please check out this post. All reviews will (probably) contain *SPOILERS*; you have been warned! Because these are short (two page) adventures, it is my intention to keep the reviews brief.
So, let's see. No stated edition. No estimated number of party members. No assumed level of experience. Just: here's this thing I slapped together, look at the pretty artwork I included.
I should probably just disqualify this one out of hand rather than wasting my time but, whatever (you see why Bryce Lynch gets so mean...and drinks so heavily...right? I mean, these things are only two pages long!). Based on the stat blocks in the "bestiary," it appears this is written for some verson of "Basic D&D" but the person obviously doesn't know how to USE basic D&D because his x.p. totals for the monsters in this thing are insane:
- Large Mesa Rattlesnake, XP 150 (nope, should be 10-16)
- Mesa Top Rat, XP 3 (no, there is no edition of D&D ever that awarded less than 5 x.p.)
- Brown Bat, XP 7 per bat, 70 per swarm (should be 5 per bat)
- Lone Goblin Scout, XP 5 (correct!)
- Goblin Shaman, XP ? (really? You just couldn't be bothered to figure this out? Should be 50)
- Sasquatch Wendigo, XP 400 (nope, should be 175, 300 tops, but I don't see anything here to warrant the bonus)
You know what? This one gets disqualified anyway because its THREE pages long. Yeah, it includes the (small) maps on those three pages, but the contest rules clearly state a maximum of two pages of text PLUS at least one map.
Disqualified.
For a second, I thought you wrote that the sasquatch should be 175,300xp. I was wondering just how many HD and * is it? Then I realized there's a space between 175 and 300.
ReplyDeleteHaha! That would be an AWFULLY big Sasquatch!
Delete; )
I believe that feedback is a gift, so thanks for your time and attention to my entry here.
ReplyDeleteFull disclosure: it was just slapped together. I didn't come across the contest until late December, and spent a day-ish on it, turning it in at 11:30 pm NYE. And in my email, I noted that it would probably be disqualified as yes, it was 3 pages. The maps took up less than a full page, which meant I was over the 2 page limit text-wise. I just ran out of time to edit it down further down -- not that that would have improved it all that much.
If there was a template as far as noting the edition, or number in party, I missed it. I was shooting to make it generic, and assumed a standard party of 4 (well, what I think standard). I'd suggest spelling that out explicitly in the contest rules -- it might marginally improve the quality of the entries on the low end. Also, I’d suggest linking all of the reviewer criteria across all of the blogs. When drafting, I only saw https://www.bkgibson.com/blog/just-threemoredays and had no idea who the other reviewers were, that some of y’all had posted more detailed criteria, etc. etc.
The XP totals I cribbed mostly off of other sources -- must not have picked the most appropriate ones, it seems. The Sasquatch Wendigo -- I just made up its XP. Missed by a factor of two -- in the ballpark, I'll take it. That ? was what I used as a placeholder while drafting. I musta missed one when I circled back. Again, a rushed and amateurish job, but I was a rushed amateur, so .
I would also recommend y'all consider including in the contest rules some stronger dissuasion for amateur efforts (not that mine reached even that level), and/or make it clear you will be strictly enforcing guidelines and won't review those that don't meet them. I would have appreciated a better understanding of that up front. You shouldn't waste your time on the slush pile, and in retrospect, perhaps I should not have submitted, especially seeing the quality of many of the other entries, and the quality reviews of the same. That aside, I had fun drafting it.
Your review is harsh, but not unfair. As I said, I sincerely believe feedback is a gift, so again, thanks for your time.
You’re very welcome.
DeleteI will note that the top contest entries will be compiled into a single volume of adventures, to be published as resource for Dungeon Masters to use at their table. With this in mind, it would be good to put forward a solid effort…rather than a slapdash one…with an understanding of the potential end result. Amateur or not, the best of these will be released into the ethers for others’ perusal and enjoyment.
ALSO: I know that Ben is happy to answer questions and provide guidance about the contest.