This one is just so, soooo...aaaargGH!
Dear JB:My DM won't run combat.I know, I know. "Just talk to your DM or get a new one"But how odd is this? Has anyone else ever experienced this?My DM won't call for initiative. We've been playing half a dozens sessions now. Even in the first "combat" encounter we had, the enemies didn't attack anyone. We came upon them about to attack someone else and then they just... didn't.Bandits stalking us in the forest? They don't attack on being spotted.We attack something? It doesn't hit back. For several rounds.It's just bizarre.My DM Won't Run Combat
Dear Player:
I am sorry to be the one to break this news to you (sorry, because anyone with a modicum of sense should have already figured this out): your "DM" is a dipshit who doesn't know or understand the game they are purporting to run.
They are an idiot. They are clueless. They don't know what they're doing. They're playing the game wrong.
I am trying different ways to communicate the same thing because...well, I mean, because this should be obvious to you but for some reason it's not. THAT's the bit that is "bizarre:" how can you not see that your "DM" is a fucking clown who has no business masquerading under the title?
You've been playing for half a dozen sessions...you probably should have figured this out by session two, session three tops (I know how 5E players tend to sit around doing a lot of nothing...).
This person claiming to be a Dungeon Master is a hopeless poseur and class-A loser. But what about you? That's the real question here. Is this what you want to do with the finite amount of time allotted to your time on this planet? How many HOURS did you waste in these half dozen sessions of accomplishing nothing with a DM who is clearly incompetent?
How do you feel about yourself? How do you feel about your life? Where is your self-respect?
Find a real Dungeon Master or learn to be one yourself. But don't spend one more minute of time with this jackass. No, do not even bother "talking to them;" this is not about this dumbass getting their shit together (clearly they are incapable)...this is about YOU getting your shit together.
Sincerely,
JB
Come on, you are making this up! ;D
ReplyDeletehttps://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1oor8co/my_dm_wont_run_combat/?%24deep_link=true&correlation_id=5809b591-b157-4bcf-87ae-3ad418eda251&post_fullname=t3_1oor8co&post_index=1&ref=email_digest&ref_campaign=email_digest&ref_source=email&target_user=PotentialLecture3282&utm_content=post_title&%243p=e_as&_branch_match_id=1397032200480222753&utm_medium=Email%20Amazon%20SES&_branch_referrer=H4sIAAAAAAAAA21QS07DMBA9TbpLS%2ByEppUqhKhYseAGlmNPUwv%2FNB4rsOHsTCiwQrKt5%2FfT2FeiXI67HYK1jrY656138W0n80MjeplPoHTZMEzoZhe1VxX96bqmGvnYiGdey7Jsf%2FImBSaQ9zme%2BeR7gEiFYZcSjiYxCh%2FKBrWkSAprVOyZNK1VktsG0VuArNYpGnkmrNCIe5MQwWtyKSpnmR%2FGu8M0HLp26oZ920%2Fm0o57Da3Utu9GsFoMHedyKqQu1fuoA6x1Uv3NcRNdtPDOyupGuDCCoJ1X1s1Q6EYqo0PWbo7%2FqyVVNPCrMUkaZyBVCyCzr4n4C5z2L2CoIkgxCjZVCvz0uGps%2Bp6FHHnYfHInILo4qwnTwiWnpyumAF%2FaToDirAEAAA%3D%3D
DeleteI truly could not believe this one when I saw it. I think this person must be a troll. I've seen some spectacularly incompetent DMing, but even when I was fumbling through DMing and playing at age 12, I never met anyone this bad.
ReplyDeleteFirst off: I can’t make this stuff up.
DeleteSecond off, people have to understand two things: A) D&D is at the height of its popularity; it is more popular than it has ever been in the past EVER, and lots and lots of people want to play it or (at least) ‘give it a try,’ and B) the game as written and supported may be at its least clear, least instructed version then ever before. When the rule is “do as thou will,” then there is no rule.
And without rules there is no structure. And without structure there is no game.
My edition may seem draconian (no pun intended), but at least it has rules and structure and is eminently playable.
I've run your edition, or close to it, though only briefly, and I find it infinitely preferable in all respects to the fifth edition. Like you say, though it is at places ridiculously complex and arcane it is, at the very least, *a game.* I prefer games other than AD&D, but AD&D is much, much, much better than the vast majority of systems bouncing around today.
DeleteEven knowing that this DM is someone with no experience or knowledge of how to run the game, I can't imagine what has bewitched them. Why even put armed bandits in the world if they cannot be fought? If a DM refused to run combat, you'd at least imagine they'd be doing something else. I don't know what, but maybe some kind of social intrigue. This seems to be a DM who prepared combats and then refused to run them.
Baffling.
D&D has a basic premise that has been lost to modern players, some of whom come to the game with the idea that "fantasy adventure" is about elves setting up magic coffee shops (no I'm not making that up) or going to magic school (like Strixhaven). To these individuals, they have no idea why a "bandit" would be in the game...and yet they purchase "starter sets" with low level encounters (like bandits) and then have no idea what to do with them.
DeleteThis is squarely the fault of the publisher by the way. We, veteran D&Ders, may laugh at these poor fools but it is NOT THEIR FAULT. They have been misled by an unscrupulous publisher who wants only to suck up every dollar from every sucker they can and so have NO INCENTIVE to teach, explain, or enforce any particular play style. "D&D is whatever you want it to be!" is their mantra...well, that and "Give us your money!"
It is the way of corporate capitalism.
Amusing note: My most old-school ever group of DnD players is actually trying to open up a coffee shop. BUT, not in a cutesy elves-setting-up-magic-coffee-shops way. They're trying to get-rich-quick and so they've identified a cash crop that hasn't yet been brought to fantasy-Europe, and are going to try to import it and sell it. Lots of potential for adventure there. Right now they're dungeoneering for the seed money to buy the ships they'll need, and are working on getting themselves established as nobility so they'll have the right to seize foreign land to grow the coffee on. *That's* how you start a coffee shop in DnD.
DeleteObviously way different than what you were talking about, but an amusing coincidence.
I completely agree with the fault of the publisher here. A sort of "if everyone's super, no one is" problem. The game is trying to be about everything, because then more people will buy it. In striving to be everything, the game becomes nothing.
Yep.
DeleteAlso: I’m okay with fantasy capitalism, so long as I can have monsters that eat/burn crops (on the other hand, caffeine-addicted orcs is getting a little gonzo for my taste…).
Harry Potter silliness aside, you'd have to learn how to cast somewhere. It's not something you could pick up from a magazine or a book... so there'd have to be a school of some kind. This has precedent going back to Minaria in the game Divine Right, where two of the kingdoms were based on cult/school concepts.
DeleteDivine Right is one I've never managed to find a copy of (although I do have a 1st edition copy of Chivalry & Sorcery...it's not bad).
Delete