"Dear JB" Mailbag #18

Dear JB:

I’m running a mini campaign on Discord, and put a lot of time into the story and world. I’ve made maps of the city, complex and detailed battlemaps and put almost 30 hours into the story and world building.

But my players, who actually roped me into this, literally don’t care. At first I thought I was running an engaging and fun game because someone was actually putting a good effort into making their character, but the others literally didn’t care. They just gave me what their magic item did (one didn’t even do that) and the classes. For context, these characters all started with a custom magical item.

When the first session rolled around, I found that no one was paying attention, except for the guy who had played three times before (we are all new) and hadn’t picked his item. He was a dragonborn rogue and had asked to switch his Breath Weapon with a teleport of ten feet. I agreed and thought he had 3 breath weapons (he had one at level 5). All he did was teleport behind enemies and ”Assassinate” them. I challenged this claim, as I asserted that even though someone would be surprised if someone teleported behind them and hit them, it would only count as a sneak attack and not an assassination because they were still in combat. Also, when I told him I had misremembered the amount of Breath Weapons he got, he told he that since I told him he had three, his character now had three.

Throughout the entire session, all I heard were games from the unmuted players, and whenever I promoted someone specific to make an action, they just responded with “What?” or “I wasn’t paying attention“ and I got sick of it. I ended the session early because I could feel myself about to cry. I know, immature, but I tried everything to get people to enjoy and have fun and none of it worked. Whenever they did something and it didn’t work, they would argue with me constantly (the only time they paid attention). I feel lost and confused. Planning the session was fun. But DMing it was horrible.

How Do I Keep Player Engagement When My Players Just Don’t Care

Dear DM:

Mm. Mmm.

You say that your "players roped you into this." What does that mean? That they wanted to play in a D&D campaign run by you? Or that they would only be willing to play D&D AT ALL, if you were the DM putting in all the work?

There is a lot to say here, but let me first give you your power back:

1. You are the Dungeon Master.
2. You are responsible for what happens at your table.
3. All this "player blaming?" Nope. This is all on YOU.
4. You are the Dungeon Master.

Reading over this, I see a lot of whining and complaining on your part for things that fall entirely into your purview. First off, no one gets "roped" into being the Dungeon Master, unless it's some condition of employment or your roommates are paying your rent or something. You either CHOOSE to be a Dungeon Master (and settle down to do the work) or you don't. That's it!

And please, please, please don't tell me "If I don't DM, then there's no game." THAT DOESN'T MATTER. That's not a thing! Playing D&D is NOT the same thing as running D&D. The two sides of the screen exercise different creative muscles, provide different forms of self-expression, give different types of "highs" to the participants.

You either want to be a DM. Or you don't.

So that's the first thing. Assuming that's true, everything that follows is your responsibility. This includes:

• how the game is run (in-person or on-line)
• what is allowed at the table (players playing video games during a session? nope)
• who is allowed at the table (specifically, how about only players interested in playing)

You set the parameters of play when you set up the game...that is, when you say "hey, we're playing 1E on Wednesday nights" (for example). I mean, you wouldn't invite people over to a poker game and expect them to plop on your couch and switch on the TV, right? You wouldn't invite people over to watch the Super Bowl and have them set-up a poker game in the garage while the game is playing, would you?

Moving on...so, it seems like you don't even know the rules of the game you've chosen to DM. That's kind of an issue. Especially when you're hell bent on modifying the game right out of the gate (changing what characters are allowed to do, permitting the players to each have a "custom magic item" that they're responsible for). Yeah, no. Again, this is on YOU. Since you seem new to this whole DMing thing, let me give you a piece of advice:

RUN THE DAMN GAME AS WRITTEN.

Regardless of the edition you're using. I don't think I've written this before but, if I have, it's worth repeating: the so-called "rule of cool" is just about the worst concept to ever smite the RPG hobby. 

The. Worst.

I am being perfectly serious: this idea that the game isn't good enough as written that one must constantly bend (or break) it's rules to ensure that gameplay is "awesome fun." Because...why? Because players need to be excited? Or mollified? Or what? Listen up, folks: Do you want to play D&D? Or don't you? 

Leave the tweaking of game systems to the only people who should be tweaking them: the long-time DMs who've played the system as designed and understand its ins and outs and have modifications they want to make for their taste, i.e. the taste of the particular veteran DM in question. Do not...repeat: DO NOT...kowtow to players who ask things like "can my character teleport instead of ability X" or "can I play ABC class/race that's not in the book" or "can I...whatever." The correct answer to any of this nonsense is a polite, but firm, "No."

Dungeons & Dragons is not a game of "yes, and..." It is a specific game with specific design considerations that went into making its specific rules in order to facilitate specific objectives of play.

Or, rather, it WAS. Then the Powers-That-Be decided they could make more money marketing it as the Everything Game for Every Fantasy-Loving nerd with a wallet full of smoldering cash and weren't afraid to muddy the waters, sowing confusion such that they could collect from the rubes before they realized they'd been hoodwinked.

Pick an edition. Learn it. Run it. That's the start. 

NOW, as far as keeping players engaged (assuming these are players who are ready, willing, and able to play the brand of D&D you're running)...well, that shouldn't be too hard, so long as you're plying them with adventure. By which I mean: immediate, visceral scenarios/situations that require a response from the players. So long as you do this...and keep the pressure turned up...they should be engaged. Because if they fail to engage, their characters will die. As you grow in experience and proficiency, you'll learn when to back off the heat, and when to crank it up, feeling the natural ebbs and flows of the game, giving necessary respites to your players (so they can take a breather before you hammer them again)...but for right now? Just run adventures that require attention.

Ad let the chips fall where they may.

Sincerely,

JB