"Dear JB" Mailbag #12

[back to reddit. I've found that the majority of posts are ones I can't use, because they are written by players...and there's nothing I can do for players. Because I'm not their Dungeon Master. I've written down a couple that are relatively "interesting" or "juicy," but in the end my responses simply come out as "sorry, but I can't help because I'm not your DM." If you don't like the way the DM is running the game, as a player your options are limited to 1) leave, 2) suck it up, or 3) try "talking to the DM"...however, I am fairly skeptical about this last option for a number of reasons. Anyway... Only DM questions from now on]

Dear JB:

I've been DMing for about 6 years at this point. I try to be a good DM and most importantly I try to make the players feel badass and like heros.

One of the ways I do this is when there is a fight that's particularly important to one player, I try to make it so that player gets the killing blow on the main baddie. Like if one players character was betrayed by the bad guy, or theve been rivals for years. How this usually works is once the main baddie gets to zero hp, if that blows wasn't done by the "important" player, then I will keep baddie alive until their turn and let their attack be the one that finishes them off. Does this mean that sometimes the badid will get an extra turn? Yes it does, but I never use that turn to heal or run away or do something that will alter the fight.

I told my friend about this, a person who I used to DM for years ago until he had to move, and he got legitimately upset. He asked if I ever did this in our campaign and I answer yes because I had. He said it wasn't fair and it was fudging the numbers. I told him I did it because I want each player to have a moment where they are the hero, where they get revenge or have their moment of triumph over the baddie. But he just kept saying that it was cheating and was a case of "DM vs the players". Ive never seen it that way, and I've certainly never meant for that to be the case. What do you all think?  

Does This Make Me A Jerk DM

Hey, DTMMAJDM:

Does this make you a "jerk?" The term means different things to different people, so that's hard to nail down, unless you're just talking about my own subjective opinion.

However, your actions certainly make you a liar and a cheat, and I can understand why any of your players (former or current) would be upset to find out about your proclivity for despicable behavior.

I've written before, at length, about "fudging dice" and why it's a Very Bad Thing, but if the reasons given in my prior post ain't enough for you, just look at the reaction of your former player: was he grateful for your cheating? Was that his reaction?

Of course not. In my own experience (and fortunately this has been rare) I can tell you that when I've discovered I am playing a game with a cheater and that they are being deceptive (i.e. lying about their cheating), I've felt DIRTY. Just horribly unclean. Mortified for the cheater, and completely uninterested in playing ANY game with them ever again. 

Because what does that say about the person? It's just a game after all: the stakes that come with LOSING are so small...it's not like someone's going to lose their life or drain their bank account over a game of D&D. What would this person be willing to do if something important really was 'on the line?'

Now, I know that you (and others) will defend your actions by saying your cheating (which is what a blatant disregard of the game rules is) was done for the advantage of your players, and is thus justifiable. You wanted to give them their moment to shine and be badass heroes...clearly you're not hurting your players right?

How the hell do you know? What if the Big Bad Guy is important to ANOTHER player, besides the one you've hand-picked to get the 'killing blow?' What if I, as a player in your game, have no "backstory investment" in the opponent, but rather have an actual, real emotional investment of the kind that arises naturally in-play due to a hard fought combat? You're going to take that away from me? Just to preserve your fucking story?

How utterly selfish of you! And what if the Bad Guy lasting an extra round or two causes it to hit and kill a PC...even the one that you had destined for the "spotlight?" Are you going to fudge THAT roll, too, so that the PC survives? If you don't then your blatant disregard of the game rules has cost one player their character. But if you do, then why are we even bothering to roll dice anyway? Why don't you simply narrate how the battle goes. I mean, that's what you're doing anyway except that we are making noise by throwing dice on the table.

There's no facade necessary. Go write your frigging novel.

No, I don't know if you're a jerk, but you are a joke of a DM. Six years? You've been DMing for six years and this is how you run your game? Your former player is absolutely correct on all counts: it isn't fair, it is fudging, it is cheating, and you are breaking the rules in order to ensure your preferences over those of the people interested in normal, emergent play. Why should any of your players ever trust you, let alone respect you? 

And if they can't, why would any one of them ever be willing to play in your game?

Sincerely, 

JB