"Dear JB" Mailbag #41

And here I thought these had run out...

Dear JB:

The consensus seems to be that at most you should have outlines and like maybe a half page of notes for your sessions, because “you never know what your players are gonna do!” But the control freak in me is having trouble with all the what ifs that’s surround that Oh I want to write a character that is sly and cunning and slowly the players realize over time they’re not an ally, but what if they just say no to the quests? I want to write a large over arching theme that is happening in a large part of the world, like epic shit, what if they go the other way? I want this item to be special, and the grail quest to get it to be important, and the story ties together, but they decided to create a spa vacation setting and run a business Like it’s easy to just say “just improv bro!” But I find in real life it just doesn’t go that way. Voices, motivations, rolls, dungeons, how do you improv shit that takes time to prepare? Or is it just “well it was a pirate ship, now it’s a village” but everything else stays the same?

Is Most Of DMing Improv

Deat IMODI:

There are DMs who swear by their ability to run a game session entirely improvised...and I'm talking a dungeon crawl (no map! just constructed out of their head on the fly!). That's not really how the game was designed to be played, however...if you read the instructions provided in the game manuals, you'll usually see steps like #1 consider theme/scenario, #2 create map, #3 stock map with encounters. I would apply these general steps regardless of whether or not I was running a dungeon, a "wilderness crawl," or some sort of intrigue/social conflict...a "map" can refer to relationships (i.e. connections between NPCs) and/or scenes as well as "physical" locations in the game world.

But, generally speaking, the game always comes back to dungeons. That's why the word is part of the game's title.

Actual play is, of course, fluid...you don't know what choices your players are going to make during the course of the game, and you (as the DM) must be prepared to adapt and respond to their actions. This does require a certain amount of improvisation, but the preparation you do before-hand...the map you create, the notes on what encounters have been stocked...gives you a framework within which to operate. If you know that a half-dozen goblins are throwing dice behind the dungeon door, you have a pretty good idea of what the PCs might hear if they listen at said door...or just kick it in...or scry it and decide to disguise themselves with invisibility or magic...or whatever. If you know that Mayor So-And-So is a reluctant (if murderous) werewolf trying desperately to hide the secret of his curse from the town over which he holds sway (and which he secretly hunts at night), you'll have a pretty good idea of how he reacts to players investigating his predations, thanks to your knowledge of his motivations and the resources he can marshal to help keep his secret.

As the DM, you are creating situations for the players to explore. The more effort you put into developing the game world, the more opportunities you provide for your players.

FOR EXAMPLE: I wrote a tournament adventure for Cauldron that involves a trek upriver (to a dungeon) from a small fishing village. Did I bother to write anything/prep anything for the fishing village? No. So what does this mean if the players decide "Hey, can we go talk to the shopkeeper before we leave for the dungeon?" I'll say, sure, what do you want to buy? And they say "What does he look like, how does he talk, does he have any rumors, blah-blah-blah?" And I'll say something like:

He's a gruff middle-age shopkeeper. He's happy to chat (if you're buying stuff), but he doesn't seem to possess any info pertinent to your quest.

And THAT'S IT. I don't create a character; I don't create a "voice" for this NPC. I certainly don't carry on a conversation 'in character' with the players. I would treat any other NPC they seek out (the tavern owner, the village priest, the local herb-woman...whatever) in the same manner. Sure these NPCs exist in the game, but there's nothing to prep because they aren't pertinent to the situation...the adventure...being presented by the Dungeon Master.

And, honestly, I don't really find this kind of tangential, "off topic" chatter showing up at my table anyway. After all, I run AD&D, and I make sure anyone who sits down at the table knows and understands what we're playing. If they haven't played AD&D before, I always give them a short spiel, something like:

"So, we're playing AD&D here. Your character is an adventurer in a fantasy world full of magic and monsters. Your objective is to find fortune (treasure) and fame without getting killed...usually by going to perilous places (dungeons) that are too dangerous for normal individuals who don't have the skills your character possesses. You'll have to work together with your fellow players...as a team...if you want to be successful."

Something like that. Then I lay out the current situation (the adventure scenario). Even new players seem to "get it" and get down to business...withOUT the need to turn the session into a "spa day."

But I can grok that this info probably isn't that helpful to you IMODI. You're worried about how a (fake) character's personality develops over time. You're concerned with creating "large over-arching themes" and "epic shit." It sounds a lot like you want to write a fantasy novel; perhaps you should go do that instead of playing D&D (you're far more likely to satisfy that particular creative urge through actual storytelling if you don't have to deal with the loose cannons that are your average player). 

Here's the truth of D&D play...of real D&D play, mind you, not the wannabe scripted-reality TV play that takes its cues from the Matt Mercer circuit. The TRUTH is that none of your "epic" situation/scenario concepts MEAN ANYTHING to the players at the table. Like, ZERO. If they are of the "old school" persuasion like myself, then they are simply trying to play the game to the best of their ability (i.e. surviving, finding loot, leveling up, etc.). And if they are of this current "new school" variety, they're only concerned with their own individual character, i.e. whether their needs are being met with regard to attention and spotlight gathering. Your "story arc" only means anything to them inasmuch as it gives them a way and reason to perform and stroke their own ego. Which is a pretty sorry way to play D&D (in my opinion), but there are a lot worse ways for people to be spending their time so...have at it.

SO, regardless of what edition you play, prep what you need to run the scenario you've got, and then be prepared to roll with the punches. That is the way of the DM. Don't worry so much about making things "epic;" D&D happens at a small scale. It zooms in on individuals, their individual choices and actions...and the results of those actions. All that "epic" stuff? That's just background noise (if that, even). You can decide whether or not any kind of "story" got told AFTER the game session is over.

Sincerely,

JB

Death

I want to write for a moment about the phrase "deserving to die."

No. This is not (necessarily) a game related post.

One hears this phrase bandied around every so often: "So-and-so deserves to die." OR "So-and-so DIDN'T deserve to die." That the phrase happens so much in our society...or at all...says something about how WE (as a society) feel about death.

Pause that for a moment. To recycle a line from one of my favorite, Oscar-winning films:

"Deserve's got nothing to do with it."

I've mentioned this many times in many other posts, but I'll reiterate it again for the cheap seats: we are all going to die. I'm going to die. You're going to die. Our families and friends are going to die. Our loved ones, Our children. Our grandchildren. It's not a question of IF...it's a question of WHEN. Part of being human is being mortal...we don't last forever. Current science pins maximum longevity (with optimal health, nutrition, clean-living, etc.) at roughly 120 years. Most people will happily celebrate 100 (or 90!) so long as they're still ambulatory. The takeaway, however, is that our time here is FINITE. We end. All of us.

And we all have that knowledge...at least, anyone reading this blog should already know and understand that. This is not a secret of our existence. But whether or not one wants to face this truth...well, I'll not judge (too much).

We all die. Some of us live long enough to accomplish something we're proud of...leaving a legacy of sorts. This could be as "simple" as procreation, or it might be monumental institutions that will last for generations after we've shuffled off our mortal coil. Again, once we've passed away, such thing will cease to matter to us. We'll be gone...on to the next adventure (or next plane of existence or next incarnation or whatever happens "after"). 

So...what? So what, JB? It's "okay" to die?

It's not a question of whether or not it's "okay." Death is inevitable. Mortality is a part of the human experience. For good reason (in my opinion): there comes a time when it is time for the soul to rest from its endeavors during this existence...death is a welcome respite for the work (often painful work) of 'living.'

The sad part of death is mainly for those that are left behind.

[I say "mainly" out of the idea that a dying person may be resistant to death because they feel they have "more to do" before passing on...but evidence is that the world continues without us JUST FINE...this idea that we (perhaps) care upon passing is (at best) romantic or whimsical thinking]

We each have a part, a role to play in this rich tapestry of life in which we are all (while living) participating. When we die, our thread comes to an end...and that's O.K....but there are other strands that we have touched that might (and DO) continue after we're gone. For a while at least. And that, too, is a kind of legacy.

Why do I bring all this up? Why am I writing about it?

Recently a man was murdered in this country, my country (the U.S.A.). Sadly, unfortunately, this is not an unusual occurrence. Nearly 17,000 people were murdered in 2024. People with dreams, with plans, with ambitions. People with families that were left behind. People of all colors and ethnicities and economic spheres and politics. People who could have lived LONGER...maybe a LOT longer...if they had not been "cut down" by a murderous assassin.

This man that was murdered...I'd never heard of him (or if I had, I'd paid no mind and/or forgotten about him). But apparently he was famous. And controversial: much beloved by some, despised and hated by others. Having now learned something of him and heard his viewpoints on a number of subjects, I hold my own opinions, which I choose not to share at this time.

For this man to die, murdered, is not a good thing. It is not good for his family, it is not good for the people who loved him, it is not good for the people who stood against what he stood for. It wasn't even good for the person who murdered him and set out to (and succeeded in accomplishing) his murder. I say this with complete conviction: it is not good for the soul of a murderer to commit murder. I've known people who have committed murder (in war time) and I've seen the deep, deep scars it creates in their core.

In their core. But...that's something I could discuss at length and I don't want to digress from my current subject.

This controversial man was murdered, and there is nothing "good" about that. But his murder means nothing in terms of whether or not his death was "deserved." Deserve has nothing to do with it. Wherever his soul is now, it is evaluating its time on this earthly plane (in that particular earthly form) and considering "How did I live my life? What did I do for others while I was living?" For his own children he certainly did a LOT, bringing them into this world...something for which they should be eternally grateful. I am certain they will miss him immensely and, as a father (and son) myself, I empathize and feel for the tragedy of their loss. How terribly, terribly sad and frustrating their childhood will be without their father. 

I will say again: there is nothing good about a person's murder. No matter how hateful a person may be (or may be judged to be). With life, there is always hope...hope for change, hope for action, hope for making the world a better place. Even if I do horrible, horrible deeds. I can decide to change my ways and make a positive difference in the world...positive difference which might not "atone" for my past misdeeds, BUT IS STILL MAKING A POSITIVE CONTRIBUTION TO THE LIVES OF PEOPLE. 

Do people understand that? You might have been a piece of shit...for years!...but if you go out tomorrow and start helping people, being compassionate, working for the good of your fellows rather than the enrichment of your ego or pocketbook THAN YOU ARE MAKING A SOLID, POSITIVE IMPACT IN THE PRESENT. And, like it or not, we live in the present. And what we do in the present has an effect on what happens in the future. It doesn't make the past 'go away' but, to date, we haven't found the way to change the past. Best thing to do with it is to LEARN from it.

"Deserved to die." "Didn't deserve to die." F*** all that noise...both sides. WE ALL DIE. With the possible exception of Jesus Christ (and that's a faith question) no one has ever staved off death completely. The murdered would have died eventually, regardless of whether or not they were pissing off folks with their political rhetoric. Death comes for us all...eventually. It will come to ME. It will come to YOU. The question we ALL need to ask ourselves (as we look in the mirror) is:

What impact am I having in the world right now with the life I'm living, the actions I'm taking?

If I die tomorrow, my eternal soul (which I choose to believe in for...reasons) will not care overly much about the dead corpse it hovers over for a moment before "passing on." But it might...it MIGHT...care about the legacy it leaves behind. Will it be a legacy it's proud of? Will it have been a life that touched many lives in a positive, selfless manner? 

All of which, I understand, may make me seem callous or (at least) indifferent to the death...the murder...of a fellow human being. And perhaps I am. But I am not indifferent to the suffering of the man's loved ones that are left behind. I empathize. I've lost loved ones. And I can well imagine (I have a vivid imagination) how I would feel if I lost my child to a murderous individual armed with an assault rifle...the anger, the sadness, the disbelief.

All those various stages of grief.

We all die, sooner or later. For all I know, I might die today: struck down by a stray bullet, killed in a car accident, or murdered by an aneurysm in my own over-stressed brain. It happens. It is not unusual to die...it is (as said) inevitable. So it's up to me...to ME...to make sure that the life I live is worthy of being called a life in my eyes, by my understanding of what a "good life" is. Right now, that means getting up before the crack of dawn and getting breakfast ready for my high school student before taking him to school, and then coming home and repeating the process for my middle school student. Later on, it will be...other things.

This is life for humans. We live and then we die. "Deserve" has nothing to do with it. Living in fear...fear of the inevitable...is a damn waste of time and effort. Worry about what's important right now: living. Living a good life. Being a positive force in the world. Touching others lives in a positive way. Trying to leave the world a better place, not a worse one.

Yeah, there are cynics out there who don't buy any of that. "Get mine NOW, because when you die you're GONE." Okay, buddy. These are the folks who choose to live in fear...fear that they, too, will get murdered or struck down in some fashion and then they'll be GONE, unable to get anymore of THEIRS NOW. I've got news for those people:

You are going to die. Sorry. You will. The evidence, the facts, are clear on this account.

All right. That's enough for now...I've got a busy day ahead of me. Blessings and best wishes for all of you taking the time to read this (and for those who didn't, too). Happy Monday.

Yours In Faith

Cauldron Prep

What day is it? Thursday? Whatever...it's 5am (or, rather, it was...I scrolled reddit looking for a worthwhile post but it all just made me want to vomit...) and I'm up thanks to some ungodly "beeping" that went off in our house this morning. No idea what it was. Checked all the fire alarms (and it didn't sound like them anyway). Hasn't repeated itself. But now I'm up.

Status update on "stuff:"

• The Family is doing well. Adapting to our "new normal" of having a high school kid. So far, so good. D came down with a bit of a cold (not COVID), probably from the amount of stuff on his plate, but he's gotten over it quick. Sofia's getting pretty good at rocking Take It On The Run (REO Speedwagon) on her guitar. Wife hasn't murdered me yet. All's fine.
• Soccer: I'll have a better idea of all teams after this weekend.
• Seahawks: hey! I went to the game last week which was...terrible! Not just because they lost (always bad to drop a home game), or that they lost to the Niners (which makes it even worse), but because of how they played...oh, man. It is orky football for sure but, in Blood Bowl terms, they're like the ork team that has ONE goblin catcher (that would be Smith-Njigma) and no one else with any speed/catching ability. The offense failed to stretch the field at all. And "Riq" Woolen was awful. Really, really frustrating to watch. Also frustrating to have to pay $8 for a bottle of water at the game. *sigh*
• Legal Disputes: I might have found a way to resolve my civil suit as early as next week, fingers-crossed. The events that led to the irritation I expressed last Friday turned out to be a blessing in disguise (maybe). We'll see.
• My father was in town. Had a nice visit. He's pretty hale and hearty for an old codger (pushing 80), but I worry about his mind a bit. *sigh* That's life, right?

Okay...onto gaming stuff.

Cauldron is barely a month away, and other than my day-to-day affairs (see above), this is my primary concern at the moment. Despite being on opposite sides of the globe, I've been in rather constant contact (through discord, natch) with the Euro-folks (helps that I don't get much sleep...) and things are getting exciting. Man, I'm so glad I'm going back there. Even if it SUCKS somehow, it'll still be fantastic to see everyone again.

This year they've got six gaming blocks going: two Friday (the first is a shorter, three-hour "sidekick" for folks arriving early), three Saturday, and one Sunday (after breakfast and awards). This year I'm signed up to run games in five of the six, including (*shudder*) Saturday's "night block" (9pm - whenever). In Cauldron 2023, I used that time to sleep, but retrospectively that's silly:

1. My sleep cycle is already out-of-whack from the travel.
2. I'm too keyed up by what's going on (hard to get to sleep and tend to wake before dawn).
3. I'm making the journey to play games, not nap!
4. I've got a nice long plane ride home on which to sleep (and I will).

SO: night block, here I come!

I am also the "tournament director" for this year's "Blackrazor Cup" which does not entail a whole lot of work (thankfully)...now that the adventure's been written, anyway. Probably I'l be tallying scores and whatnot in the wee hours of Sunday morning. No paper certificates this year...the con organizers got real life medals and trophies (I've seen pix). Amazing! I'm sure it will be a good time. 

[we'll see if all the players hate me after this year. It's their own fault for complaining last year's adventure was "too easy." This, however, may have been due to the way the adventure was DM'd...when I ran it for my home group  it ended in a TPK]

For my free block, I will be doing my darnedest to get into Settembrini's Chainmail game (yes, this Settembrini) which he is advertising as having space for seven, Even if I don't I might hang out and watch...regardless, I have that particular time block cleared specifically for that particular table.

Originally, I'd also kept the Night Block clear, partly out of a vane hope at sleep, but mostly because I was considering the possibility of one of Prince's epic night games (he usually brings some 10+ player extravaganza). Unfortunately, this year he ain't. Not because he won't be drinking through the night (au contraire!) but because he has games he wants to play in, for a change. However, he IS offering his own "tournament adventure" (with prize!) that he will be running himself in three different time blocks. It's called "Assault On The Beckerdrome;" the description reads:

Over the last years, you have endured and triumphed in the Blackrazor Cup, the most prestigious event in the history of the known world. Its lustre has endowed you with divine fire, but each night you weep, for lack of worlds to conquer. Yet there is hope. The earth shakes and is split asunder. An ancient fortress lies beneath. You have conquered the Blackrazor Cup, but how will you fare against the one who forged such a contest?

The ultimate challenge awaits.

So, yes. It appears I am the BBEG of his adventure. Sly devil.

[he will be paid back! In spades!]

Of the time slots I'm signed up for, four are nailed down. I'll be running a modified version of Anthony Huso's Silver Temple of Transcendent Flame in the Friday afternoon "sidekick," the BRC tourney module for Saturday morning, a new adventure that I haven't even drawn a map for yet (*headslap*) called Caul's Dark Citadel for Saturday afternoon, and MY version of I3, Legacy of the Pharoid, in the Sunday brunch spot. Of course, that one's not complete yet, either. 

[wait...checking. Checking. Yeah...no]

I'm actually probably going to have to scrap Legacy from the docket. I was only going to run the Body Banks section, but it's still 64 encounters (waaaay too many for a four-hour time slot) and less than half have been keyed. Too big, too long, too un-finished for this year's Cauldron...but I've been in contact with Kelvin Green about some collaboration on the project and it might be cool for a later Cauldron con (maybe as a multi-part running...as I did with Forbidden City in 2023). I certainly doubt I'll have time to write AND play-test the thing before con time, not with needing to do the same with Dark Citadel. I just have too many irons in the fire.

SO...I was looking through my inventory of adventures for a replacement, and I actually have a number of low level (3rd - 5th) adventures that might substitute AND be short enough. There's the Tomb of Bendan Fazier, which was a lot of fun for my home group (though, since I posted it to the blog a couple years back, it could be considered "spoiled"). There's Ice Box which, while written for OD&D is easily converted (it even uses Fiend Folio critters)...except the tournament adventure is already "cold themed." There's Lost Vault of Kadish (a stand-alone 'side quest' in Legacy). Heck, I could even run The Sunken City of Doom, my DL1 re-write; yeah, it's close to 100 encounter areas, but it's for the right levels, has pre-gens (twisted DragonLance PCs), and is mostly keyed...

Oh, wait: here's also Vermin Town, the rat-themed adventure I wrote for my own "Year of the Rat" adventure charity contest...now there's a compilation book I never got around to publishing (*sigh*). Why not? Because I drew my maps by hand and I can never get my damn scanner to work (frigging Paraguayan printer tech...). Ugh. This is a good one, but I'd need to FIND the maps for it (no idea where those are). Ooo...also The Tower of Ybarra Florin. That's an oldie but a goodie.  Okay, I have choices...I'll figure something out.

Then there's the Night Block.

I added an event here because A) sleep is for suckers, B) Prince ain't running, and C) I'm going to this thing to be active/contribute. I mean, Grutzi is running his Isle of the Dead, but I don't have a 9th level character to bring to the party (wish that I did), and pre-gens, IME, are always a bit of a crap-shoot. None of the other games in this block are particularly enticing: I'm already familiar with Black Crag and Black Mark (having reviewed them), the idea of playing a 4th level OD&D pre-gen is...nah. And there's just no way you'll find me sitting down to a game of "Ransack" (sorry, Parti...). No. Better to just run something of my own. I like to run games, after all. And running different games for different people keeps me sharp.

But what to run? Well, what I've got registered for the event is titled *something, something* Doom, but that's just a placeholder. My initial thought, actually, was to run one more session of the tournament adventure. We have eight different DMs runnng the thing (including me), but if I ran it twice, it would ensure that ALL the attendees who wanted to play would get the chance to do so.

[some quick math: there'll be about 80 attendees at Cauldron. The tournament adventure is designed for six to eight players so, with a Dungon Master, that's NINE people at a table. 9x9 = 81, right? But you subtract one ('cause I'd be running twice, and there's only one of me) giving a result that equals the con's headcount]

Plus, I'm kind of loving the adventure, and having already run it twice, I'm getting a good handle on it (there are some tricky bits). Yeah, more and more I'm considering one more session of Rivers...unless I get a message from someone else who wants to run it (which I might...there's still time). And if THAT happens, I'm thinking of running something high level. Maybe Hells Own Temple (which, re-reading it, could really stand some revisions) or Queen of the Demonweb Pits. I don't know. Something challenging. Something AD&D.

Okay, the sun's up and so are the kids...time to make breakfast. It is a perfectly beautiful Seattle morning: grey, misty, and drizzly (we desperately need rain). A little more coffee and I'll be able to tackle those maps...once everyone's out of the house.

Later gators!

: )

***EDIT: I found my maps. Oo-boy!***

Game Day

It's 8:36am. I've been up for nearly four hours.

I have difficulty sleeping on game days...well, any day when I'm on the docket for an activity that requires preparation. At conventions (like the one I'll be going to in October) I'm lucky to get four or five hours a night. It's hard for me to get to sleep, and I often wake up hours before my alarm.

Excitement and stress...these can play havoc with one's circadian rhythm.

First day of the (school) soccer season. I am coaching my daughter's team. It has been a madhouse just trying to get practice slots. I've had three since last Friday (the day after I got home from Orcas). Three. The last two were yesterday and Thursday. We'll see how this particular band of misfits performs. 

Of course, I had to be up early for D anyway...he had a cross country meet at 7am. Jeez, these kids. He also has club volleyball this afternoon and club soccer tomorrow. Sofia has her club soccer match this afternoon.

But that's all fine and dandy...that's just driving (and I have a full tank of gas (I mean, since I was up this morning anyway...). This morning's game, I'm coaching. My team. My responsibility. No rest for the wicked/weary.

I'll let y'all know how it goes. It's just nice being back in a sport where I get to yell from the sidelines.

; )

[EDIT: we won, 5-2. Shaky first half, but we pulled away in the second. One in the books]

"Dear JB" Mailbag #40

Hi JB!  So I am a bit perplexed over the situation and would appreciate any advice. Also my blood is boiling, but I'll try to keep this fair and factual. 

Currently I am a part of an online DnD campaign - and it is the best campaign of my life. I am enjoying it immensely, especially since my previous full-blown campaign's ending traumatized me a bit. My new DM - highly recommended - delivered fantastic sessions: great storytelling, balanced spotlight, the works.

Then one day it all changed, when one of the players asked if his wife could join. She’d supposedly been bullied out of another game. We are decent people, so we agreed. Later, we learned she’d been "bullied out" several campaigns with different groups. Red flag number one.

Her first action was demanding her paladin character be a literal anime space princess and would not accept any pleadings, with us being a rag-tag team of homeless scavengers. She would not budge, and the DM compromised, making her an emperor’s illegitimate daughter (not yet confirmed 100%, but enough to keep her satisfied). Red flag number two.

After some travelling she started subtly trying to change other PCs to fit in her narrative, masking it with back-handed compliments. Such as "Wow, your autognome was so much less annoying this time, keep it up!". And my poor autognome monk was not the only receiver of this treatment, this also included comments towards our cute elf warlock and several NPCs; she even started actively referring to other two players (including her husband) as "my simps". Then one day during combat, she threw a fit when the DM hit her 21 AC anime princess paladin several times. "This is not fair! Roll publicly! I don’t trust your rolls!". We were quite taken aback and again tried to reason with her, after which she claimed she was being bullied again before finally calming down.

By this time me and my friend (warlock) already approached the DM to discuss how she was making us uncomfortable. He said that he would talk to her, and for the next session it all died down, so we thought that it bore fruit. Then a week ago came a breaking point.

Princess multiclassed into warlock. The DM suggested a patron and was crystal clear (both directly and indirectly via NPCs): this patron was evil, would corrupt her, and may exploit her royal bloodline for its own ends. She agreed, as her potential patron promised her an ascension to the throne. We all thought: "How cool is that, her anime paladin will finally be going through an interesting ark!" Yet when the DM roleplayed her character’s growing bloodlust (exactly as warned), Princess was shocked. Princess was outraged. Princess said that her character would never-ever feel such dark urges.

After the session during our scheduled feedback time, she proclaimed she had a "joint complaint" against the DM. What exactly is a "joint complaint" if no one of the party participated, you ask? Turns out, she’d complained to out-of-game friends - who knew nothing about our campaign - and they accused the DM of "stripping her agency as a player" as there was "lack of wisdom saves to resist these urges". Guys, she screenshotted their nasty messages and sent them directly to the DM’s DMs. The messages where they mocked my DM and questioned his competence. I am fuming even now.

Seeing our DM - a kind, talented person - shaken was heartbreaking. So I lost my cool. I told Princess in no uncertain terms that this was unfair, highly unethical, and a violation of trust. If she didn’t trust the DM, she should find a DM that she DOES trust instead of trying to walk all over my favorite DM. She abruptly left the session, and I personally spent 20 minutes consoling our sweet DM.

Here’s the problem: the DM let it slip that he still wants to continue playing with her as there are couple of sessions left anyway and he wants to finish her ark. I also suspect that he is afraid that her husband may leave with her, and hubby is a valuable player and has a great and important character. I love this campaign and the storytelling, but Princess’s behavior is ruining my experience, my friends' experience and our DM's experience. How do I support my DM without enabling her? How do we protect his mental health if she stays? I do not want to pressure him to get rid of her, and my other teammates, although uncomfortable, would like to continue as is... 

EDIT: I deem this necessary to state: I am female, my warlock friend is female, we are not bros gatekeeping the sacred masculine DnD by booting a woman

Space Anime Princess Ruining My Game

Dear SAP:

I am angry right now...so, so angry. And it has nothing to do with you, or the world or the government or anything big and over-arching that affects anyone besides myself. It is a very personal issue/problem, relating to my idiot brother and our idiotic legal dispute and the idiotic legal system and the fact that it is forcing me to do all sorts of bullshit that I don't want to do and DEFINITELY don't have the time for, what with everything else on my plate. It is just one FUCKING DELAY AFTER ANOTHER and after waiting WEEKS for my hearing date to move a trial up so we wouldn't keep hemorrhaging money from my dead mother's estate, the judge dismissed the motion as it appeared the "defendant hadn't been served."  Despite me getting up at the crack of dawn and driving through fucking Seattle traffic to get to the Kent Regional Justice Center to file the fucking proof of service five minutes after the court opened (this after having already emailed it to them on August 21st per the idiotic bailiff's instructions). So NOW I have to redo the whole fucking process again in order to lose another month's worth of cash from this thing just because my brother is an asshole that I can't have removed without a court order.

Fucking hoboes. AmIright?

So, I'm angry. Like really, really pissed off, SAP. And since yelling and screaming obscenities won't do anything to help and I REALLY need to vent right now, I'm going to take it out on YOU. And I want you to know it's not your fault that I'm about to unload, it's me, it's all me, but you know what? You're a fucking idiot, too.

First Off: this is your Dungeon Master's cross to bear, not yours. Your DM has to "man up" and boot her himself...IF (and only if!) he has a problem with the person and her actions.

FOR EXAMPLE: Let's, for the sake of discussion, say I was your Dungeon Master. Yes, yes, and we'll assume I'm running 5E, and I'm all about the lovely "role-playing" and "story arcs" of your characters (have I mentioned I ran World of Darkness games for YEARS?). Let me put myself in your DM's shoes, and some new player comes to me with her "joint complaint." And I ask, um, who's complaining besides you? And she tells me "her friends" and puts screen-shotted comments in my face. Here's how I'd handle it:

#1 I'd tell her "Your friends can go fuck themselves."

#2 I'd say, "Remember how I said no phones at the table? Please get that out of my face."

#3 If she emailed me the screen shots I would hit 'delete' without comment.

And I would make it perfectly crystal clear that NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO PLAY AT THIS TABLE. If you don't like how I run my games, feel free to TAKE A HIKE.

This is easy, easy stuff.

Oh, you're worried the lady's husband will leave? As a Dungeon Master I cannot live in fear that my players will walk out of a game.  CAN. NOT. Do you know why? Because players CAN and DO leave games AT ANY TIME. That is the players' prerogative. Players get jobs. They change schools. They move. The die. They have kids. Etc. You cannot have an attachment to your players such that it dictates control of your game. Period, end of story.

My game = my rules. But YOU don't have to play.

Still, that's NOT your problem, because YOU are not the DM. Likewise, your DM's "mental health" ain't your problem either. Your DM has to take care of his own shit: that's part of being a grown-ass human being. 

You want to support your DM? Show up at his game. That's all the support any true DM needs or wants (though a thank you at the end of a session is always appreciated).

Sincerely,

JB

"Blackrazor Cup" (Cauldron 2025)

Not everyone attending Cauldron 2025 this year is on the convention's discord site (though, if you're not, why not?) so I'm posting this notice here for any interested parties that missed it:

Hey, Cauldron-goers! Any Dungeon Masters interested in running this year's "Blackrazor Cup" tournament adventure, should DM me directly with their email address. The module is ready to go, and I want to give folks time to read it, prep notes, and contact me with any questions they have. The adventure is written in English (apologies), and includes pre-generated characters that are to be used in the adventure. As the "tournament director" this year, I'll probably cap the number of DMs at 8 or 9 (plus myself). Thank you!

Since you're reading this message here (and not on discord) you probably have no idea what a DM (direct message) is. Don't feel bad...I'm old, too.  Just email me your interest (my contact info, as always, is in my profile for the blog).

Later, gators...I've got adventures to prep!

; )

First Day

Today is my son's first day of high school.

It's pretty wild to think that I started writing this blog...heck, I published my first book!...years before he was born. And now he's a teenager embarking on the next four years of his academic life. Maybe not quite a "young man," but definitely getting there. Getting there.

I am wistful today (as one might imagine). I drove him to school this morning, dropping him off a couple blocks away...per his request...much as I saw dozens of other parents doing the same (probably at their kids' requests). Gave him some parting "words of wisdom." That's about it.

*sigh*

I am so proud of my boy. I could write for many, many paragraphs about all the reasons why, "glazing" him (as the kids call it these days). Hell, why not?

We just finished (yet another) soccer tournament this weekend as he captained his team to a decisive 3-0 victory in the championship round, going 4-0 in the tournament with a goal differential of +22. And I do mean "captained" quite literally: he's the captain of the team (with the armband to prove it), he's (IMO) the best player on the field, he's giving orders and directions like a field general on the pitch, keeping the energy up, keeping the discipline solid. He had five goals himself (plus six assists) and would have had more except the refs refused to award three blatant PK penalties (probably because we were already up 8-0 and 3-0 in those games) and because the coach pulled him in several matches to give bench players more play-time (in games where the result was already decided). Just remarkable what he can do.

Then there's the volleyball thing. He tried out for one of the premier men's volleyball clubs in Washington a couple weeks ago and made the team, despite being a full head shorter than any other player on the court (he's likely going to play libero for the squad); we'll be traveling to half a dozen different national tournaments around the country this year (like I needed that on my plate). But he loves it and he loves the sport, and he's so excited about it...about playing with other kids who love volleyball as much as he does.

Then there's the academics (top honors classes), the charisma and leadership, his ability to make friends (he's already cultivated half a dozen through his summer cross-country training), his devotion to his faith and activity in our church, his discipline, his attention to his appearance (I was never so 'put together' as this kid), his humility when interacting with his friends and peers, his kindness and patience and care for children younger than himself (even his sister...most of the time). He's a good kid...a good kid. He has the potential to grow into a good adult human, something we can always use more of in our world.

I hope and pray that he does get the opportunity to grow into a good adult human. Such is never guaranteed in a country that sees random bullets claim the lives of kids in schools and churches and in the streets and at concerts and...

*sigh*

When my son was just a cute, chubby infant (always those chubby cheeks), I had no idea what he would be like, what he would become. And, of course, he is still in the process of "becoming;" we won't see who he really is for another 20 years or more. But I could not have looked down the road 14 years and imagined the young man he is at this point in his life. He has several of my flaws (now that I could have anticipated...) including a lack of patience, a penchant for laziness and whining when not engaged, and the occasional (and understandable) fall into the trap of arrogance. But I do my best, I do my utmost to help him with those challenges, having frank conversations with him, explaining the whys and wherefores of these lapses, these human frailties that we all have. And he seems to have taken these conversations to heart..he appears to have learnt and grown and is already a better, wiser human than I ever was at his age. 

My boy is not me. We share many interests but not all. He prefers yacht rock to hard rock, for example. He enjoys the theater, but has no interest in acting or performing himself. He is a shorts and sweatpants kid that can easily spend 20+ minutes on his hair, while I wear blue jeans and ball caps year 'round (now, to be fair, I don't have any hair to spend time on these days, but even when I did I still wore a hat). He enjoys running (*sigh*). He is less critical than I am, less prone to see the negative, especially right off the bat.

But in more ways than not, we are alike. He is just a younger, better, more talented version of me...and talented in ways I never was and (in some cases) don't even recognize. Some of that is undoubtably stuff from his mother (duh), but not all of it. Some of it is just...him.

When he was an infant, I would just hold him and love him and marvel at him and cry thinking of how he would grow up and all these young years would be nothing but a fleeting memory. And now that he is grown, I just hold him and love him and marvel at him and cry thinking how he will continue to grow and all these young years will be nothing but a fleeting memory. But now I try to teach him, too. I love him so much. My life, rocky as it is (sometimes) is so good. I want him to have that, too. When he is an old geezer like me, I want him to be able to say, "My life, rocky as it is (sometimes) is so good." I really want that for him. 

Sorry. Just feeling a little emotional today. Thank you for indulging me.