Random Notes

Just warming up the mental muscles this morning...maybe the typing fingers, too.

• The Seattle Seahawks boarded a plane to Germany today for a game versus the Bucs in what will be the first ever NFL game in that country. They're off to Munich which is, perhaps, my favorite German city ('course I've only ever been to three or four cities in Germany...).  I've heard ticket prices are something in the neighborhood of $500 with some 3 million folks trying to get in the game; one would assume the sport would appeal to a large segment of the culture. For my part, I wish I could go just to get back to Bavaria, which is MY version of Disney Land (i.e. "the happiest place on Earth"): mountains and castles, beer and schnitzel, cathedrals and museums, the Autobahn...sheesh. An abundance of riches. Hope the 'Hawks have fun.

• In sad news, a child was murdered at a local high school, another victim of gun violence. Not a crazed psychopath with mass shooting agenda, just a hormonal 14 year old with far-too-easy access to a handgun. Now, multiple lives have been ruined: victim and shooter, family and friends, students and teachers. I know the school well; it is the public school that serves the same neighborhood/community as my kids' elementary school. Many siblings (at least six) of my kids' classmates attend the school. A sad, frightening day yesterday. 

• In happier news, Washington State continued to be a bastion of sanity and democracy judging by the election results of 2022...and it appears such was the case for a lot of the country, stymying the predicted Red Wave. That makes me somewhat...hopeful? I won't say more than that, because delving into the politics of this country makes me equal parts sad and angry, and I know it tends to rile up my readers. Thank you to everyone who voted (one way or the other): our democracy only has a chance of being a representative reflection of our society if we make our voices heard. Voting is the way we do that.

• In my publishing "business:" sold a bunch of books lately. Must be the holiday season. Thank you to everyone who's given me money: as I've written before, it's much appreciated and encourages me to do more.

• In general gaming: picked up a copy of Jeffrey C. Dillow's RPG Adventures in Fantasy Gaming. First published in 1980, I'd never heard of this game before finding it on the shelf. Compact, hardcover (the good kind), lovely illustrations, it is somewhat reminiscent of Fantasy Wargaming being based off a wargaming model (by which I mean: something like a combo of ODD+Chainmail with a heavy emphasis on the Chainmail). Unlike FW, though, it seems far less inclined towards the medieval/historical and far more fantastical and...dare-I-say...American-ish (Fantasy Wargaming is distinctly Euro-centric, in my opinion). Looking forward to the chance of digesting it. Appears to have at least a couple of adventure scenarios in it that I might purloin (including rather nice maps).

[oh, wait...here's a review]

• In television: started watching Reservation Dogs with the wife. Fantastic show. Equal measures funny and heartbreaking. I've had some extremely limited experience with tribal nations in Washington (both in general and as part of my former job) and my aunt in Montana worked as a federal liaison to the tribes for the last couple decades. Oklahoma isn't the same as Washington and Montana but there are shared similarities of reservation life.  Just a really well made, well cast, well written production...must see TV.

• In Dragonlance/D&D: nothing to report. However, it is my birthday Sunday and perhaps I can wrangle some D&D play out of the family. We'll see. After getting up at 6am to watch the Seahawks play in Germany, and then heading out to watch my son's morning soccer match, I might just decide to take a nap. But we'll see. 

Okay. That wasn't a terribly bad "warm up." Now let's see if I can get something a bit more substantial.

Non-Rants

My internet has been a bit spotty this morning, perhaps because of the high winds going on at the moment. But it's working now, so...yeah, no complaints.

This week has been a week of "no complaints" on Ye Old Blog. I've started 2-3 posts that just devolved into fiery rants...posts on guns and politics and the Mariners and current crop of gamers that (even when they're NOT completely clueless) fail to grok the point of AD&D...or any D&D really. None of these have been posted; they just sit on my draft board, staring at me, reminding me that I should probably post something to the blog. I am a blogger, after all.

But I don't want to rant. Ranting...real "ranting," like that of a lunatic...is a means of expressing frustration. It's a sign of helplessness in the face of something that you dislike, but are powerless to change. I just don't feel like putting myself in that mindset right now. Too weak.

That's the thing about gun owners right now...too many of them in the USA, at the moment (clearly). They have lots of reasons for owning guns...I was on a web site the other day that provided 101 reasons for why a private (non-military) citizen to own a battle rifle like the one that claimed the lives of 19 children under the age of 11 (plus their teachers). Lots of reasons...but none of them were good reasons. Most of them...well, all of them really...were based in fear. Or selfishness (self-centeredness). Or ignorance. But mainly fear. A feeling of weakness, of helplessness, of powerlessness and a driving need to do something to feel powerful. 

All of a sudden, it occurs to me why the pandemic has (in this country, where guns are laughingly easy to acquire) fueled an incredible surge in gun purchases. It's not just white supremacists buying guns because of panic over a BLM movement (which some have claimed). Gun ownership is up across ALL demographics. People feel powerless in the face of invisible killer viruses and government lockdowns and it's understandable how they'd try to do something to reclaim a feeling of power for themselves. 

Also explains (partly) my zero desire to own a gun: I already feel powerful most days. I'm a Dungeon Master, after all.

Yesterday, I cleaned the hell out of my house in anticipation of a couple kids coming over for a playdate. The nice thing about that means, a lot fewer chores to do today. Which is a good thing because the kids are getting off at noon to start a blessed three day weekend with very few scheduled obligations on the docket. The wife, of course, wants to "do" stuff...the kids and I are hoping to just stay home, chill out, and play some games. But for today (at least), I'm going to guess we'll have some leisure time.

I think I want to introduce the kids to a new RPG or two. Specifically, I'm considering Top Secret (my children have been reading a lot of "spy" novels lately) and/or Gamma World. Something light, something fun...a little adventurous and not much chargen/startup time. I brought up the idea this morning, as I drove them to school, and they were both excited at the prospect. 

We are still in the midst of N1, too, which is going...well, better than I expected. Sofia's character got drugged and kidnapped, but Diego managed to find her in the middle of the night (before she could be moved to the lair of the cultist's god), and actually managed to out-duel the 4th level assassin guarding her...all the more surprising when you consider his own character is only a 1st level assassin. Ah, AD&D...how you continually surprise me. Despite the level difference, they were fairly evenly matched when it came to a face-to-face fight: same ACs, same chance to hit (D. actually had a +1 with his shortsword due to "elf-ness"), and the bad guy's extra hit points meant little once Lady Luck stepped in. They escaped through the trapdoor in the ceiling, and murdered the villainous innkeeper before he could fully rouse himself from his sleep (a good surprise role there).

Unfortunately, they have yet to pick up a scrap of treasure. C'est la vie.

Anyway...I'm sure I'm boring folks. And I have some dishes to wash up and some RPGs to prep. Hope everyone has as happy a Friday as they can, depending on their personal circumstances. Love your loved ones, love yourselves, love your neighbors and your enemies (as best you can). And try not to be too afraid. We are ALL more powerful than we realize.

People Getting Killed...Again

There's been a lot of news the last couple days about the reporters that were murdered on live television Wednesday...hard not to miss it. Unfortunately, these were only gun deaths #8,513 and #8,514 in the United States this year. As was recently pointed out, the other 8,512 haven't received quite as much attention, though the end result...senseless death at the end of a gun barrel...has been the same.

And as of this morning (two days later) the total number of gun deaths for 2015 has risen to 8,548. Right now, we're on pace to hit 13,000 deaths by gun in The Greatest Country in the World, up from 2014's total of 12,560, which was up from 11,419 in the year 2013.

Long time readers know my stance on guns...if not, I'd direct you to my 2012 post on the subject. My opinions on the subject haven't changed...we need to get rid of all the fucking guns. Period, end of story. I know there are folks who vehemently disagree with this opinion...one told me quite explicitly that he wouldn't buy my products because I am a "moron" on this particular subject.

As if I was using the money from my product to fund anti-NRA campaigns or something?

Anyway, just felt it was time to mention the subject again in the wake of the recent news/publicity. I will now return to writing about game-related items (as much as I ever do). Hope y'all are having an otherwise happy, healthy summer.

Imaginary guns in RPGs still allowed.

Fucking Assholes

So, yes, I've been busy lately (duh). I won't bore you terribly with the details: traveling to Canada and back, sickness, traveling to D.C. (the "other Washington") and back, "single parent duty," working the job-type-job, Seahawks, beagles, etc. In all honesty, I went into work this morning thinking I'd write up a list of 10 or 20 space opera themed post topics for the next couple weeks, probably beginning with a book I picked up at The Newseum in our nation's capital, Darth Vader and Son. But I never quite got around to it. Mainly 'cause some fucking asshole decided to kill close to 30 fellow humans in Connecticut today, including a score of kindergartners.

2012 has been a "banner year" for this kind of bullshit, and frankly I'm sick of it. Back in April a young woman (age 21) who'd just moved to Seattle for culinary school was hit by a stray bullet in downtown Seattle and killed instantly. In May, a 43 year old software developer was killed by a random bullet while driving his family around town...a random bullet meant for someone else. Later that same month, a man from Ellensburg shot (and killed) four people in a Seattle cafe, before shooting (and killing) a random woman near Town Hall and taking her SUV. He later took his own life when police found and cornered him.

The shooting spree at the Batman movie over the summer actually prompted my wife to suggest that we not expose our child to "violent" superhero characters; as if anything about Batman would inspire a person to commit random acts of murder. A professional football player making piles of cash put nine bullets in the young mother of his own child before putting a bullet in his own head a couple weeks ago. Then, of course, there was the shooting last week in an Oregon shopping mall that claimed the lives of three people and injuring another. As with the football player, the cafe shooter in May, and the asshole from today, one of the lives claimed was his own.

And today...words cannot express how awful this tragedy is. I have nightmare thoughts sometimes about what it would be like to outlive my child...for anything to happen to him, sweet innocent that he is. And tonight, there are the parents of 20 young children who are going through their own personal hell because of something so horrific, I never even imagined it as a possibility. I mean, what kind of fucking asshole does that?

And yet he's dead. The killer is dead. All those Republicans out there who support capital punishment (i.e. the "death penalty") should be happy that justice was "self-served," right? Hell, the guy saved the tax payers a ton of money on trials and prosecution and prison housing and mental institutions, etc. I mean, that gives all those grieving family members the closure they need right?

Bullshit.

Same with the asshole that offed himself in Seattle. Or the asshole that played for the Chiefs. Or the asshole that offed himself in the mall in Oregon. The asshole from the Aurora, Colorado movie theater massacre has been trying to off himself in jail, but probably won't manage to do so before the state does it for him (Colorado continues to carry the death penalty and performed it's last state execution in 1997...I'm guessing the asshole that killed 12 people who just wanted to watch a popcorn action flick...including a six-year old child...will get the lethal injection, too). They're all reaping their "justice" and the grieving families of the victims will continue to grieve in sorrow. Because they are still suffering from the loss of their loved ones and have no good answers to their main question: "Why?"

Why has this happened? Why has it happened to us? Why has it happened to our loved ones? What is the thing we did...in this life or a past one...to deserve this horror, this tragedy? Why was this murderer such an asshole? Why does our "great society" continue to produce these assholes? Why are they able to do what they do?

And of course, when these questions cannot be answered the next ones asked are "What could we have done to prevent this?" "What could we have done to protect ourselves?" "What can we do in the future to ensure this never, ever happens again?"

Get rid of the guns.

I hate guns. I fucking loathe guns. I, quite literally, cannot stand the touch or feel of guns...when I've held handguns before (a .45; a Glock), I dropped 'em like a live grenade.  Like a poisonous snake. Like something violently designed to do harm...to kill...which is exactly what guns are designed to do. They are not designed to be a "neutral tool." They are not manufactured to open stubborn locks or drill holes in a wall for your cable wire. They are created with the purpose of ending life. And they are very, very good at it. Our centuries of technological development have seen vast improvements in this area.

Now, I too have heard that old chestnut about how "guns don't kill people, people kill people," and that's certainly true for the most part...usually, a gun only kills a human when it is pointed at someone and the trigger is pulled by another human. The common argument I hear is that a person with a "will to kill" will find a way to do it, even if he lacks access to a firearm.

And to that I say this: If the asshole in Connecticut had not had access to automatic weapons and large capacity firearms that were purchased legally...if he had instead, say, been forced to use a hunting knife or a ball-peen hammer to do his dirty work...how many people do you think he would have actually managed to kill before he was stopped? How many of the six adults at the elementary school would he have bludgeoned to death before being dragged down and pummeled unconscious? How many children would he have been able to chase down and effectively stab to death before someone clocked him or the police showed up?

The thing that allowed this asshole to inflict the death and suffering on such a horrific scale was his access to guns. That's it...we don't know how many bullets were fired, how many magazines were expended, how many misses were chalked up before his bullets found their victims. But the ability to shoot and shoot and shoot with deadly speed and range and traumatic impact is what allows an asshole to go from "disgruntled crazy guy" to a mass slayer of innocence. It's what turned simple murder into massacre.

The Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution states:

A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

So carry a goddamned sword.

I'm serious; I'm sick of it. The idea that prohibiting the citizenry from owning firearms is going to somehow keep a reign on our country becoming a tyranny or military dictatorship is just loony-tunes. If the U.S. military ever decides to stage a coup and take over, we as a people are royally screwed, regardless of whether or not Joe Citizen has an assault rifle in his gun locker. Back in the 18th century, the British soldiers and the American colonists were armed with the same gear: muskets, sabers, cannon. Have you seen what our military is packing these days? Smart bombs and drones fighters, RPGs and mortars, armored fighting vehicles and stealth bombers and .50 caliber machine guns and nuclear attack subs. Having an assault rifle or hand gun in your possession isn't going to allow you to wage revolution, should all hell break loose. Didn't you folks see the armed "insurrection" in Iraq? You know, back when we invaded their country? Their militia (or freedom fighters or guerillas or whatever you want to call them) didn't stand a chance...we just bombed cities flat to quell resistance. And the same would happen here if there was a citizen uprising in the face of martial law backed up by our U.S. war machine.

The 2nd Amendment is something the NRA hides behind because they don't want anyone telling 'em what they can and can't do. And I can understand that...I don't like being told what to do either. If I'm a smoker, how dare my state pass a law that prohibits smoking inside any public building...what if I own the building and want it to be a smoking establishment? How dare the government tell me what I can and can't do with my own property and my own business? What the heck gives them the right to say I have to stand 25 feet away from a bus shelter (in the rain) to light up a smoke?

I'll tell you what gives them the right: the invested authority of the government by the people to protect its own citizens. Smoking causes great harm. If you want to smoke cigarettes (and slowly kill yourself in the process) that's your business, but you'll not be allowed to inflict cancer on others...even inadvertently...with your second hand smoke. Even if you're always careful to blow your smoke the opposite direction. Your "personal rights" are being "infringed" so that others' rights (to life, in this case) isn't being infringed.

You may have the right to "pursue happiness" but not if exercising that right means stealing someone else's car stereo to buy your crank.

So infringe our goddamned personal rights already: get rid of the guns. They're existence in the hands of ordinary (i.e. non-military, non-law enforcement) folks only causes harm.

[jeez...forgot about that 16 year old kid shot dead by the "citizen watch" asshole in Florida]

Sure, that's going to seem unfair to folks who are well-adjusted, trained in the use of firearms, and capable of keeping their guns under lock-and-key when not on the target range. But it's for the greater good, people. I can drive my car just fine after drinking enough to put me over the "legal limit," but that law (and limit) exists for very good reason. This whole "right to the gun" thing IS the main issue here. It is the presence, and prevalence, of guns in our society that makes it one where "death by gun" has the highest rate of any first world country.

If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.

Apparently law enforcement doesn't count? Look, at this point, I'm willing to have that line be the case...especially if it makes it more difficult for the assholes of the world (these "quiet, shy" types who have no problems passing their screenings and then go batshit crazy) to acquire the means of inflicting such terrible, terrible tragedy. These perpetrators of massacre aren't knocking over convenience stores and robbing banks...they are simply going into public places and pulling the trigger as fast as they can.

This is awful, awful shit...truly, truly terrible and my heart is bleeding for the families and friends of ALL these gun victims that continue to accrue. You may think it strange that a guy who plays and writes violent role-playing games (especially ones that involve firearms) would be so "anti-gun," but I have long held the opinion and stance that the ONLY place an ordinary person should be able to "play with guns" should be in fiction: books, movies, video games, RPGs. I've always enjoyed violent fiction, and it hasn't turned me into any type of serial killer. These fucking assholes that are killing people are profoundly disturbed individuals looking for an outlet of violence (perhaps they don't have enough fiction in their lives) and would be doing so regardless of exposure to violent media images.

The best thing we can do is take the guns out of hands...limit the harm they can perpetrate.

Tonight, my prayers are with the families of today's victims. I really do wish I could offer more to them. Hopefully, they will find the strength in their hearts to persevere through this time of trial. For them, their "end of days" must truly feel like it's upon them. I hope sane heads in our government will see this issue and problem for what it is and work to ensure a tragedy like this can never again occur.

Pax.

Reviews & Typos

So I was recently flooded with a rash of orders for my most recent book The Complete B/X Adventurer which immediately made me figure Mr. Maliszewski over at Grognardia must have gotten around to doing a review (he purchased a copy a few weeks back, but I generally don't solicit reviews and I know he's got an already busy blogging schedule so I haven't been bugging him). Lo and behold, there it is...not nearly as favorable as his review for my earlier B/X Companion, but still fairly complimentary and I am extremely appreciative of his kind words.

One thing though that he pointed out...and that I have had others point out as well, both in on-line reviews and pointed emails...is the issue of damage for firearms (rules for which are included in the book). True, I generally use the "all weapons do D6 damage" standard rule in my own B/X games, but I did have a variable damage option in my original firearms blog post (from which the section in the book is derived). Unfortunately, the single sentence got "eaten" by an illustration of a flintlock that I threw into the text, and none of my proof readers caught the omission (and why would they? They were mainly checking for grammar and spelling errors).

So here it is, for those who'd like it...sorry about the delay (it will be corrected in future printings, I promise!):

If using the optional Variable Weapon Damage rule, all weapons listed here do 1D8 damage.
 

 All right, hope that answers that. Of course, not having such a sentence, people who buy the book can freely pencil in whatever damage they feel is appropriate for their own game, and certainly one might consider D6 or D10 to be a fair range of damage potential. I mean, whatever floats your goat, right?

; )

Gunslingers

I was watching an episode of the second season of Top Shot (my wife put it on during dinner the other night...they were throwing tomahawks and my wife knows how much I dig axes in every way, shape, and form), and I was struck my the same thought that struck me when I watched the show in its first season:

What a bunch of nerds.

Now I'm sure many of these sharpshooters are fine human beings, but that doesn't change the fact that they spend a large amount of time honing a fairly useless talent. Ya' know...like playing role-playing games and pretending to be elves and such.

Really. I mean, I guess it's useful if you want to shoot something (or someone) but the value of shooting things (and people) is a fairly debatable point. I mean, learning to play RPGs has given me some math and reading skills anyway...if nothing else, RPGs have helped me to decipher my own taxes every year since I started working, round about age 15.

[fast food, folks]

There are a lot of "nerdy" pastimes available to folks in 21st century America, many of which I engage in ("fantasy football," for example...of what possible value is it to geek out on sports in this way?). I'm not saying this just to be negative or contrary, I'm just pointing out something...a lot of the hobbies that we are blessed with the time and money to pursue are fairly worthless; and often, when we are not caught up in the moment of doing what it we are enjoy doing, I think we realize that.

Is it wrong to pursue such worthless pursuits?

I know that some of the saints and prophets who have come into this world before us would say that. Yes, they would say we should be spending our free time (and money) on pursuits that emphasize humility, compassion, and kindness in support of our fellow human beings. And far be it from me to go against the wisdom of the saints and prophets.

But (and I'm sorry if this seems to be a justification for my own indolence) "to err is human," and I think that it is a deep and sometimes cumbersome challenge to ignore that humans often crave these shallow things that entertain us or fulfill our desires. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy," and we are so enamored of not being dull. Or not leading dull lives.

I think that rather than "beat oneself up" for indulging in petty fantasies, one might find what is good, positive, and constructive in any hobby. I'm not sure I can think of such for all hobbies (Texas Hold 'Em? Internet porn?) but there ARE constructive grains within most of our nerdy pastimes...and I'm not just talking about doing taxes.

For a person who studies "the way of the gun," one might consider that what is learned is a respect for life: the fragility of human (and animal) life and the ease with which it may be taken...not to mention the need to protect against the indiscriminate action of doing so. Also, a respect for the awful power of the technology of man: a Glock isn't a cell phone and an M240 is no polio vaccine. That we have made these things is a testament to both our ingenuity and our perpetual madness...and from the study of guns we should learn to respect both of these human "virtues."

Also, the simple fact of the matter is that there will always be those who use guns for the wrong purpose (again, whether or not there is a "right" purpose is debatable), by which I mean "used in the harm of others for the sake of self aggrandizement." And those who DO study the way of the gun should serve as a pillar of integrity to those who do not, an example for others to follow...they can display the right way to respect the discipline and proper use of these tools that have such potential for harm and woe. To those who enjoy firearms I say: your enthusiasm has led you to know the weapon; use that knowledge for good, as a safeguard for and testament against ignorance.

Ugh...I guess I'm feeling a bit guilty today. Personally, guns give me "the willies" even if they are fascinating pieces of destruction in games (or any dynamic, artistic visual medium: comics, film, video games). My non-gamer friend, Jon, would certainly accuse me of "glorifying violence," whatever that means exactly. I suppose it means "having fun imagining I'm shooting imaginary people"...but, hey, I AM a big nerd after all. Pretending to be a one-man wrecking crew is nothing worse than pretending to be the coach of a fantasy football team...at least in my book.

Hmmm...it is obvious I am on my last "mental legs" of the night (it's after midnight, and I just got Big D to sleep with a little bouncing/singing). Tomorrow, I'll have more interesting gaming things to say I'm sure. Sorry for being such a downer!

; )

Hot Elf Chicks - Hotter With Guns

I've had a recent epiphany about the whole cyberpunk genre...while I'm still struggling to crystalize it in words, the gist is that the whole theme is predicated on an illusion, a sham, a mish-mash lie...much as D&D has helped foist a variety of trite "fantasyisms" off on the world community through inspiring artists and writers (and movie makers and TV shows) with a variety of game tropes masquerading as real mythology and folklore. That may sound harsh, and I don't really mean it to be as such (personally, I long ago accepted D&D as "it's own thing" and commercially produced art for its overall quality apart from its basis or source material...). But as I said, I haven't quite crystalized what I wanted to say about the matter, so let's leave it.

What I DO want to say is this: elf chicks are hotter with guns.

As I work on my own new game (a knock-off of the "Original Adult Fantasy RPG" set in the dark future and filled with a face-full of chrome), I can't help but come to the conclusion that THIS is what made Shadowrun and its imitators so successful. In the end, it's not about rebelling against a corrupt society or "fighting the man;" hell, the characters are working for THE MAN for Chrissakes! There's nothing "punk" about that...and even less about getting "screwed over" by your employer (something that is a common occurrence in SR adventures). That's called getting punked, not being punk!

No, the real draw of the game...after careful analysis, let me assure you...is being able to play hot characters with guns. Leather-clad adventurers with explosives and fully automatic weapons. It's like the best of two great fetishes...The Matrix mixed with fantasy magic. Hell, elf dudes (of which I've known to play a few in the past) are hotter with guns. Talk about your serious bad-boy image!

Is such a game "Old School?" Well, while I normally wouldn't presume (really!) I'll say this: The way I'M writing it is, yeah. Why?

• It tests player skill, not character's capabilities.
• It requires rulings (especially with the new "skill system") more often than rules research.
• It has abstract combat of the oldest style rules...plus automatic weapons.
• It's heroic without being superheroic...player characters still die. Fortunately, character creation is fairly simple.

It also has (a bit to my chagrin) a certain level of "resource management" inherent to it...specifically counting bullets (which we remember as often as one ever remembers to count arrows) and counting hit points. Counting credits (money) is also important...but at least I don't make folks keep track of the battery life in their gear.

It's a cool, fun game...and I hope to have the writing finished soon (the next week or so depending on time). If you're new to the OSR blog-o-sphere (and just finding this through a "hot elf chick" search) and your interest is piqued by the idea of fantasy gaming with guns PLUS sword, you might want to check back here in a couple weeks to check my progress.

And welcome!

Merry Christmas...To Me!

Hope everyone's having a great holiday (or gearing up for a great holiday OR just gearing up for a nice weekend). Been busy all day...since the moment I got up. Which was fairly late, since I went to be bed LAST night around 1:30 or so.

However, the festivities this evening were quite nice, so no complaints about the business (or me sheer exhaustion...little Buddy the beagle, curled up on the couch snoring, has the right idea). But man o man am I behind in my blogging! I've got two to three posts that need to go up besides this one...and that's not even counting additional "happy Christmas" wishes.

And speaking of happy Christmas: last night was our regularly scheduled Thursday night game at the Baranof in Greenwood. Role-playing at Baranof's during the holidays is a little surreal. For one thing, they have several "holiday drinks" on the menu that mainly consist of five parts straight liquor and a splash of eggnog. For another, there's a giant tree in the middle of the dining room, which means we are playing under the glow of red Christmas lights all night. For a third thing, the tree is decorated with individually wrapped Twinkies (I kid you not...a Baranof patron works at the local Hostess factory and provides them with fresh cakes, which are then stashed amongst the tree branches). We snack liberally from the "Twinkie Tree" all night while drinking our Christmas cocktails...that's just nutty.

So we anticipated at least a few folks being gone last night for the holidays...as such, the Goblin Wars game was being put on hold for at least a week or two. Instead, we figured we'd do a little one-off action. Since it's my table, I brought two options: we could play a one-off D&D adventure, or we could play Boot Hill, one of my all-time favorite RPGs (though I didn't tell them that at the time).

They opted for the western game. Fan-friggin-tastic!

So we rolled up characters...which in Boot Hill takes even less time than B/X D&D. Since I didn't have extra books to pass around, I just read off the short equipment list and let them make their own purchases, as I read (everyone starts with $150 in Boot Hill).

Before I go any further, I should point out that despite being "short-handed" we still had five people show up, with only Luke, Heron, and "new guy Dave" being absent. Even Josh put in an appearance (though he didn't stay to play...just out running some errands for the wife and new baby, and wanted to stop by and wish us all a merry-merry...very cool of him).

Considering the limited budget and even more limited stat line of characters, it's pretty amazing the range of different personalities that showed up. We didn't get much into "character development" (I just wanted to get characters made and "get to the game") but in the future, I think a few random tables similar to my "random headgear" and "relationships" for B/X would be a great way to set up some basic backstory for the characters. As it was we had:

- the older, slower, experienced gunfighter that was a Deadeye (natural "00") shot

- the younger, extremely fast (natural "00") double-fisted gun-fighter with pretty lousy aim

- the crazy as f*** Mexican carrying 10 or so throwing knifes known as "Machete"

- the crazy as f*** other guy who spent all his money on a horse and carried only one weapon: his trusty scattergun

- the medium fast, medium accuracy guy with the six-shot Winchester (he was also carrying a bunch of knives)

We ran a couple practice combats so that folks could see how it all worked out, as well as get an inkling of the deadliness of combat. We found that sometimes it was better to be more accurate than fast (as the Deadeye was able to take down Mr. Greased Lightning with only a minor scratch in return), and generally its downright silly to take a knife to a gunfight (when the crazy Mexican got blown away by Mr. Scattergun).

Anyway, they were fairly pleased with their guys and ready to rumble, so enter the adventure: module BH1: Mad Mesa.

Mad Mesa is a solo adventure that can be adapted to group role-playing. Having played it solo several times in the past, it was something I was familiar with for a one-off pick-up game like this. In the non-solo version, "Uncle Zeke" has contacted his nephew (the lightning-fast kid) to help his discern the mystery behind some harassing-type action that's taking place at his ranch...the culprit appears to be in Mad Mesa (a small fictional western town in 1870 Arizona).

After figuring out how much a leather duster cost (we decided $4), the party (hmm...we'll refer to them as "the posse" from now on) rolled into town and immediately began to stir up trouble. While Rifleman and Deadeye checked out the office of one suspicious attorney Matt Brady ("NOT the famous Civil War photographer"), Lightning drew dead at the assessor's office and Machete and Scattergun drank it up at the Mad Mesa Saloon. Or tried to...they were a little light on funds (and they had really wanted to join the poker game). Brady wasn't at his office, but was eating lunch over at the Lazy A Hotel. The posse converged on the place while Machete went around to the back and ambushed the skinny attorney coming out of the outhouse. Brandishing a knife and yelling threats caused Brady to turn and run...and Machete hit him in the back with a knife.

The others quickly figured out there was a clusterf*** going on and made their way out behind the hotel where a little hard questioning resulted in the attorney fainting. Dragging him across the street to the local Doctor's they dropped him off for treatment and went looking for the one name Brady fingered before passing out: "Old Man" Russell, a local ranch owner with a lot of hired guns.

The posse was eventually pointed in the direction of the Babe Saloon, where they found 8 men, 4 women, a player piano (not a piano player), and a bartender. The men were in a heated discussion when Deadeye and Lightning came through the door, and they were asked to leave.

Deadeye tried the Fistful of Dollars approach, telling Old Man Russell "Matt Brady's been killed by a mysterious crazy murderer. You can hire us and we'll help you track down the killer."

"I've already got my boys," Russell gestured to the three men sitting close to him at the table, "and my friends," (he gestured to the other gents). "Haven't you ever heard of "Buckshot" Blume? I don't need any more 'help.'"

Lightning challenges Buckshot to a duel, "If I kill him can I take his place?"

The Old Man smiles wide, "Sure you can, sonny." Buckshot leans over to whisper something to Russell.

Lightning decides to pull his piece and smoke Buckshot right there and then. "Hey, he said 'duel on.' He's fair game!" Deadeye: "Whoa crap." Having complete surprise, Lightning manages to put two bullets in Buckshot, including one between the eyes, effectively backshooting the fastest draw in Mad Mesa. Deadeye skins his smokewagon and begins blazing away at the Russells as all hell breaks loose. "we're all going to die aren't we?"

Machete, hearing gunfire, comes in through the back door and puts a knife in Old Man Russell's back. Scattergun comes in through the front door and fires both barrels into the Russells' table, killing the Old Man and two or three of his sons. Winchester is right behind him, pumping bullets into the crowd.

A lone rifleman that the posse had been ignoring, lifts his piece and calmly blows scattergun all to hell, before putting a bullet into Winchester. "Skins" MacGregor is the second best gunfighter in the Russell's employ, and a deadeye shot with the rifle. Before anyone else can knock him dead, Skins pumps several bullets into Deadeye, killing him. I don't remember if Lightning put him down or Rifleman...but eventually, everyone was dead except for the women and the bartender (who fled the scene).

The posse decided it was time to get the hell out of Dodge (or rather, Mad Mesa) before the sheriff showed up to investigate. Having killed "Old Man" Russell, they weren't sure if they had managed to solve Uncle Zeke's mystery or not. But they knew that this particular county of Arizona was done for them.

Oh, yeah...one of the saloon girls hit Machete with a knife of her own when they were fleeing the bar.

Yeah...that was the whole evening. Man, I love Boot Hill. Personally, if I'd known the players were open to trying it, I would have planned something a bit more engaging. But how can you not be engaged when hot lead starts flying? Having the opportunity to run a little BH...even as short and ridiculous as this, was a tasty little Christmas present for Yours Truly. Certainly a lot tastier than those Twinkies in the tree!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Wheel-locks, Rifles, and the Roar of Cannons

AKA Adding Firearms to B/X D&D Part Deuce

I mentioned wheel-locks only briefly in my prior post. The wheel-lock mechanism (developed late 15th or very early 16th century) was a precursor to the flintlock and allowed for firearms to fire without the use of match cord. They did this by striking a spark from a piece of pyrite, similar to the spark of a wheel cigarette lighter that fires lighter fluid to create a flame (ah, the memory of my poor aching thumbs). In addition to the practicality of not carrying flaming string on your person, the removal of the match cord meant the weapon could be quite stealthy (until fired), giving off neither glow nor smell, and there was no danger of the weapon being useless in the rain.

As such, several kingdoms in Europe banned the wheel-lock or passed laws against its possession.

But the wheellock was never manufactured in great numbers and never replaced the matchlock in military forces. Costly to make, each required a skilled gunsmith to hand-craft the mechanism, and its operation wasn’t well-known or widespread. The snaphance developed mid-16th century was the next development in “locking mechanisms” until the flintlock (circa 1600) renders everything else obsolete, being both cheap and easy to produce and being extremely effective on the 17th and 18th century battlefield (due to its extra powder charge, a flintlock musket could hole plate armor at 100 yards).

Just because a weapon is invented on or around a particular date, doesn’t mean it became prevalent, nor immediately accessible. The harquebus was still the main long gun of eastern Europe well into the 17th century…a fact that allowed the Polish heavy cavalry (the Winged Hussars) to remain a potent battlefield force up into the 1700s…plate, lance, and sword, folks!

Rifling, the cutting of the gun barrels to impart spin on shot, allowing for more accuracy and range (like an NFL quarterback throwing a spiral), was known from at least the 15th century. However, in addition to being more costly to produce well-rifled weapons, rifle barrels needed more care and cleaning, becoming fouled and useless (or dangerous) with the black powder being used. Rifles as a matter of course don’t see regular battlefield action till the 18th century, though they are still used by individual hunters and sharpshooters. Elongated bullets (further improving accuracy) were not developed until the 18th century, well after the pseudo-medieval D&D era.

Pistols, too, could be rifled though...there is some historical evidence to suggest that the use of rifling on dueling pistols was considered “un-sporting.”

Black powder cannon (the roaring guns) were fairly slow to replace ancient-type artillery, being small, slow to maneuver, and short of range…as well as expensive to produce, slow to re-load, and dangerous to their own side on the battlefield. Part of the difficulty with early cannon is the inability of the Europeans (at the time) to cast large iron cannon, or iron balls. Instead, cannon are used as anti-personnel weapons, well into the 14th century (hurtling grapeshot, arrows, and anything else they can be stuffed with). However, by the end of the 15th century, cannon is replacing all other artillery pieces on the battlefields of Europe, and bombards on wheeled carriages are able to reduce castle walls to rubble with extensive pounding, just using (heavy) stone balls.

How heavy? Well, hundreds of pounds. Of course the cannon themselves weighed 2-4 tons.

Let’s put that in “D&D terms.” A two-ton cannon weighs 40,000cns in B/X terms. The largest transport presented in the Expert set is the wagon which, when pulled by four draft horses, can haul 25,000cns weight. You need about twice as much pull to schlep that Big Gun…which is about what they used in the “old days” (eight or nine horses to a cannon).

You can see how this could add up to be an expensive bit of hardware. Unlike a catapult or trebuchet which could (conceivably) be constructed “on site” (given timber and the right knowledge), cannon would need to be hauled to the siege…along with adequate shot and powder, feed for the horses, spare wheels for the carriage, etc.

[Jeez, I’m starting to sound a bit like ol’ whatsisname over at Tao of D&D…]

For my purposes, I think I’m content to keep firearms right around the EARLY 15th century (1400s) era. There are handguns and harquebus and pistols and plate armor, but cannons are going to be suitable only as anti-personnel weapons. Wheel-locks and bombards might be available, but only from dwarven master smiths or less-than-sane magic-users. Will these things develop over the course of the campaign history? Probably not…after all, we’re talking about a world where powerful magic is available to the Powers That Be. Why would they spend money from their treasury developing technology and outfitting their troops? Especially when those troops might turn around and throw them down in a bloody proletariat revolution!

No...firearms as weapons are a novelty weapon and/or weapon of surprise. Plate armor has been developed (perhaps in part) to prevent the odd stray bullet from ending a mailed noble’s career. But societies with access to magic (like humans and elves) have no need to spend more time on the dangerous and temperamental black powder…firearms are expensive toys for wealthy adventurers and nobles, not the all-conquering weapons of war.

Now, for species that don’t have magic in their arsenal, firearm development is a different story:

- Dwarves are technological craftsmen, well versed in the making of locks and mechanisms. The development of the wheellock for use in firearms can be a boon in their on-going conflicts with goblins and the like (they don’t mind the extra craftsmanship/expense needed AND matchlocks would be counterproductive to their subterranean conflict…not to mention dangerous in close quarters fighting and close contact with black powder! However, there are several reasons dwarves would NOT go beyond wheellocks and bombards:

A) Dwarves in general are not ambitious to conquer territory and don’t have the numbers to raise the large armies (tens of thousands) of the late Middle Ages. Their weapons are more likely created for defense and/or love of working with contraptions.

B) Firing off any firearms in great number…wheellock, flintlock, whatever…creates huge clouds of black smoke. In the confines of tunnels, this can be dangerous to health, not to mention polluting to their environment.

C) Unless you’re laying siege (and dwarves are more likely to BE besieged), there’s little reason to create bombards underground. Possibly a few iron loaded cannons placed (outside) defensively can be used to smash approaching siege engines. Firing a cannon underground is reckless to say the least!

D) Any guns created may very well fall into the hands of enemies (goblins and such) at some point. One of the advantages dwarves have over the more numerous subterranean humanoids is their stout armor…why give up that advantage by allowing large numbers of firearms to be captured by the enemy?

- Halflings do not have access to magic and yet are not technologically inclined (nor are they especially ambitious and warlike…how many times did the hobbits of the Shire lay siege to Bree? Um…zero). For the halfling, too, I would imagine the firearm is more a novelty weapon…certainly it is loud and obtrusive for the stealthy species (whose accuracy with missile weapons is reason enough to lay off the intimidating black powder weapons).

- Humanoids, especially the fouler and more opportunistic ones, are likely to LOVE firearms and make as much use of them as possible. Fortunately for civilized folks, most humanoids are decidedly STUPID and unable to develop any but the crudest types of firearm. Goblins and/or orcs, might make use of the odd handgun or two, but certainly won’t be able to manufacture a matchlock harquebus or pistol. Hobgoblins might have the brains to do so, but are more inclined to prove their honor in hand-to-hand combat than with long-ranged shooting. However, a hobgoblin might carry a finely crafted pistol into battle along with his blade, if he can get one. Ogres are too stupid to use firearms, let alone make them, and giants are already their OWN cannon…they have no need of firearms. No…goblins and orcs are the most likely to make use of black powder weapons, and not in any great number. And even though they might WANT to manufacture a cannon (for anti-personnel use only), they have no horses to haul it…how many wargs/slaves does it take to bring an artillery piece out of the mountains and down to the battlefield? Too many.

The following new rules supplement the ones submitted yesterday:


A rifled firearm (harquebus and pistol only) costs 50%-75% more than the weapon’s usual price, depending on availability. A rifled harquebus has all range increments doubled; a rifled pistol has all its ranges increased by 50%. Rifled weapons’ rate of misfire increases by +1 after each firing until cleaned (which takes 1-2 turns). For example, the first shot from a rifled harquebus only misfires on a roll of “1.” The next shot in the same combat misfires on a 1 or 2. The third shot misfires on a 1, 2, or 3, etc.

MASS LAND COMBAT (for use with the B/X Companion rules)

FIREARMS: A unit equipped with firearms (God help us!) must all be armed with the same type of firearm. Units with handguns adds +5% to their damage multiplier in the missile phase; units with harquebus add +10% to their damage multiplier. Units with pistols add +10% as well, but only in the melee phase (pistols are two inaccurate to use at range on the battlefield). The damage multiplier may never be greater than 100%. Any unit that suffers a casualty from a unit armed with firearms checks Morale with a +1 penalty to the roll unless the unit is also armed with firearms.

SIEGE COMBAT

Cannon (1000gp): Requires four people to operate including one engineer or dwarf (4th+ level). May only be used against units and large monsters (attacks as a 4th level fighter). Cannon ammunition and powder costs 50gp per shot and does 12D12 damage. A unit attacked by cannon suffers a +1 penalty to Morale checks.

Bombard (2000gp, dwarf only): requires five people to operate including one dwarf engineer (4th+ level). Used as a light catapult but causes a breach in one clash. Cost per shot/clash is 250gp. If used against a unit, does 5D20 damage. Solid structures (siege towers and the like) are destroyed if hit (roll as a 4th level fighter).

Bows, Crossbows, and Guns

AKA Adding Firearms to B/X D&D

So, today I’ve been spending a bunch of time reading up on the harquebus.

As one might guess, this is not an especially specific weapon, but a general term (along with its variant names, like the arquebus) for a rather broad class of firearm: in this case a 15th century, matchlock weapon.

Oh boy.

Here’s the grossly abbreviated shorthand genealogy of the firearm:

- Hand cannon (often just called a handgun)
- Matchlock Harquebus
- Flintlock Musket
- Cap-and-Ball Rifle
- Modern Firearms

Now the flintlock doesn’t get invented till the (early) 17th century, and after that, all the romance of man-to-man combat is pretty much down the tubes, no matter what DuMas may have written about the King’s musketeers (interestingly, the French musketeers were never all that potent a force on the battlefield of the 17th century…ah, France…). In terms of archaic warfare, flintlock is the shizzle y’all…stick a bayonet on the end and you’ve got everything you need to (eventually) develop the Redcoat, that pride of Great Britain that made England such a dominating military force up through the 18th century.

So we will skip the flintlock (musket) generation and everything later, as it is so decidedly NOT Dungeons & Dragons. Why not? Because D&D has elves, yo. And elves shoot bows (there ain’t no bows in 17th century warfare). Furthermore, D&D has magic swords (yo). And swords lose a LOT of their luster (except in a spirited cavalry charge) after the musket-bayonet combo.

Musket-bayonet also replaces the pole arm…and D&D has ALWAYS loved its pole arms!

So, no...we are simply going to concern ourselves with the handgun and the matchlock harquebus for today’s firearm discussion. But first, we need to do a quick back-up to touch on the standard D&D missile launchers, the bow and crossbow.

Both the bow and crossbow (the latter being pretty much a “mechanized” bow) have been around since ancient times and were ably represented on the battlefields of Europe well into the 15th century, long past the development of full plate armor in the 14th century. As such, they’re presence in D&D is, of course, standard.

I was a bit surprised at some of the stuff I researched regarding bows and crossbows. For instance, B/X rates of fire for these weapons are fairly accurate. Personally, I always had difficulty with the arbitrary 10 second round with regard to missile fire. The 10 second round is just fine and dandy to model the abstract nature of D&D melee combat (a character can swing a sword more than once in ten seconds, but an attack roll simply determines whether or not any of those swings land for damage, and the damage roll determines how many land and how well you land them). But limiting missile combat to “one round, one arrow?” It always seemed to me like the artificial time of the round was NOT very accurate for missile combat.

In reality (at least according to the stuff I was reading) this is actually pretty good. In battle, a longbow man wouldn’t try to loose more than six arrows per minute (i.e. one per 10 second round) due to both accuracy and fatigue considerations. In a pitched dungeon battle, the same would probably apply.

Likewise, the crossbow is slightly slower than longbow -- though unless it is one of the more powerful types, requiring a winching mechanism to draw (which I assume is NOT the case for the 5 pound B/X crossbow), it's still pretty quick. The two-handed weapon classification in B/X (which I have always assumed to mean “attacks last in round” like any other two-handed weapon) is enough of a slow-down to hand-cocked crossbows.

Regarding penetration of bows and crossbows being better (or worse) depending on range, I consider this accounted for in the range penalties to hit (though perhaps short bows and slings should take a DOUBLE penalty at range to account for both reduced accuracy AND reduced penetration).

The heavier crossbow (the kind with a winch) is said to have better penetration than the longbow, but is NOT as good as a firearm, and is slower than a firearm. This will be accounted for later…now, onto firearms.

The hand cannon is present in Europe…

[by the way, I use a European-esque setting…goes with my Germanic-Celtic roots…your mileage may vary, depending on your own cultural preference]

The hand cannon is present in Europe from the 1300s up till the 1500s when the matchlock harquebus all but replaces it (it is the slow fuse/match of the mid-1400s that makes the matchlock feasible). The hand cannon (or handgun as I’m going to call it for the rest of this post) is lame-lame-lame. Basically, you’re carrying a portable cannon, attempting to hand light it and aim it at a target, all while trying not to blow yourself up. Add to that that the thing had crappy range, had all the problems inherent in early black powder weapons, and was terrifically inaccurate, and one wonders why anyone would employ such a weapon.

Mainly for the spectacle, I'm guessing.

Fire, smoke, NOISE…all these things went into making the weapon darn intimidating, to say the least. Cannons themselves were fine and dandy against troops or fortifications (though so poor in maneuverability that they fail to replace catapults till the 15th century or so)…a portable version in the form of the handgun certainly packed a “wow” factor. Not to mention, folks obviously sensed some potential, as they continued to develop the handgun until they achieved a relatively superior portable firearm in the form of the harquebus.

The matchlock is still a pain in the ass compared to both the bow and the crossbow, but it is a helluva’ lot better than the handgun. Sometime during the mid-1400s sees the invention of the “slow match” or “match cord,” a fuse that will burn about 1 foot per hour. This allows the gunsmiths to manufacture the matchlock (and thus harquebus) in which the fuse can be held, until triggered.

What does this mean? Well, for one thing it means you can use two hands (and both eyes) to aim your firearm instead of needing to touch flame to flash pan yourself. It also means you can carry your weapon (and match cord) flaming and ready rather than having to kindle a torch in a panicked pinch.

From a D&D standpoint, this makes the harquebus a much better option for the wandering adventurer...well, better than the handgun anyway; it still has its own problems.

For one thing, convenient as the match cord is, it has some fairly problematic issues. While it’s slow to burn, it DOES burn up, and its yet another type of ammunition that needs to be carried (in addition to powder and shot). In the rain or damp, or if it gets wet, it can be difficult to light…and no cord means no bang-bang. In the dark (like underground) the match cord gives off a red light, easily spotted…and according to Wikipedia match-cord also gives off a very specific odor, making any kind of surprise (in a dungeon setting) pretty much impossible with standard nocturnal creatures (who generally have better than average olfactory senses).

Also, there's the inherent danger of carrying a lit fuse around on your person anyway…especially when you’re also carrying explosive black powder. Not to mention that the weapon itself, like all primitive firearms, has the potential to explode in your hand, possibly injuring yourself or a nearby party member, while certainly ruining the weapon.

So what exactly do you get for your money? Well, a matchlock harquebus is still a smooth bore (i.e. non-rifled weapon) and didn’t have a range any greater than a B/X short bow. A trained musketeer could fire three times per minute (about every other 10 second B/X round), and I don’t see why a harquebus couldn’t fire that fast…so long as the match cord stays dry (it remains lit while firing, though you remove it from the “lock” while re-loading). You get the same noise and smoke as the more primitive handgun (enough smoke that you probably won’t be able to see much after a firing off a few rounds from a stationary position).

But you DO get penetration. At close range, even the weakest handgun could pierce the stoutest plate armor.

So, for your enjoyment, I offer the following items to the standard B/X equipment list (folks playing different versions of the Original Adult Fantasy Game will need to make their own adjustments):

Bows (cost/encumbrance)

• Crossbow, Heavy*+ …40gp/80cns

Firearms (cost/encumbrance)

• Handgun*+ …30gp/90cns
• Harquebus+ …50gp/100cns
• Pistol+ …35gp/20cns
• Black Powder (per shot) …2gp
• Match Cord (per foot of cord) …1gp
• Firearm Shot (10) …2gp

*Two-handed weapon, attacks last in round
+Takes one full round to load

Range in feet (Short/Medium/Large)

• Crossbow, Heavy …5-80 / 81-160 / 161-240
• Handgun …5-40 / 41-80 / 81-120
• Harquebus …5-50 / 51-100 / 101-150
• Pistol …0-25 / 26-50 / 51-75

Heavy crossbows and handguns add +1 to attack rolls at all ranges. Harquebus and pistols add +2 to attack rolls at all ranges. If using the optional Variable Weapon Damage rule, all weapons listed here do 1D8 damage.

Note: Pistols may be used in melee, and may also be used as an off-hand (light) weapon.
Harquebus and pistols require lit match cord to fire. One foot of match cord will burn for 6 turns. If the DM allows, a harquebus or pistol may be outfitted with a wheellock mechanism for twice the normal price (there is no match cord requirement for such a weapon).

Opponents without firearms are easily intimidated by individuals using black powder weapons, and must check Morale after the first wound suffered from any firearm (not just the first death).

Firearms are prone to malfunction. Whenever a character using a firearm rolls a “1” on the attack roll, the weapon has misfired. Roll 1D6:

1-2 Weapon explodes! (character takes damage as if shot by weapon)
3-4 Match cord goes out and must be relit (handguns explode, wheellock weapons break and must be repaired)
5-6 Weapon misfires (but match cord doesn’t go out); character may fire again next round

Let's see...am I forgetting anything? Cannons really weren't all that great until the 16th century (bombards were effective, but difficult to maneuver on the field) and really need their own post. Since I don't use Variable Weapon Damage, I allow all classes to use all weapons (except for shorties), though I suppose some folks will want class-specific designations. How about:

- Clerics may use all firearms

- Dwarves, Elves, and Fighters may use all listed weapons

- Halflings may use pistols only

- Thieves may use anything (though firearms are NOT stealthy!)

- Magic-Users may only use handguns

That's about it. I leave it to individual DMs to adjudicate the "fog of war" that comes about from firing off too many of these smoke-wagons.

Fuego!

; )

Pistols & Plate Armor

[several of the posts to follow, including this one, were written on my plane trip back from Madrid...they reflect my musings during a period of near total exhaustion, so be warned!]

Although I don’t have access to the internet right now (I am currently on a transatlantic flight back to the States), I’ve finished reading both the novels I brought with me and find myself wanting to blog a bit. This post (or series of posts) will go up sometime after my return; I certainly found plenty of food for thought during my two weeks in Spain.

For instance, why the hell aren’t there firearms in D&D?

Oh, I’m aware that the arquebus (isn’t that a kind of primitive pistol?) made an appearance in one edition or another…either 1.5 (Unearthed Arcana) or 2nd edition. But if memory serves, that’s it, and it has (as far as I’m aware) not been in any of the WotC+ editions, unless in some supplement book or campaign setting.

Why not? Because gunpowder isn’t “fantasy” enough? Because it would somehow upset the balance of power in a game? Because “hand crossbows” are cooler?

While my baser, inflammatory nature prompts me to write “GARBAGE” in big bold letters, please humor me as a normal person asking an honest question: why isn’t gunpowder and primitive firearms a part of the fantasy world?

I mean, I can offer up a couple-five theoretical answers myself, but I am curious as to what people think. Let me offer a couple observations on the matter:

- Armor in general has been developed as a defense against the weapons of warfare. Plate armor, while present in Roman times (the lorica segmentum or whatever it was called), but that’s not what most people are thinking about that’s a very different thing from “plate and mail” the kind of armor most folks associate with 14th through 16th century Europe. And the supplementing of mail with fitted steel plates is something done in response to the excellent penetration abilities of weapons like the crossbow and firearm.

- Now, that being said, the crossbow (present in D&D) was used side-by-side with the firearm well into the “plate and mail” armor period. In many ways it was more accurate, easier (or as easy) to load and fire, and had just as good penetration. Prior to “rifling” technology, the range was probably better as well, depending on the size of the comparative weapons. The crossbow collection in the Royal Palace of Madrid is quite extensive and was a significant part of the armory, side-by-side with the handgun (which appear to be prized as highly for their decorative potential as for their use in combat).

- THAT being said, it should be noted that the development of plate armor WAS effective in stopping shot from firearms…plenty of real breastplates on display exhibited dents from actual shot that had been deflected, saving the lives of their wearers. Yes, plate armor was no match for cannon fire…but plate armor would be no protection from catapult shot either (and catapults and trebuchets were still being used in the 14th and 15th centuries alongside cannon also).

So why exactly is it that D&D…a fantasy game of archaic weapons and tactics…does NOT include firearms? After all, it DOES include “plate and mail.” Is it just that one wants to have the image of the “knight in shiny armor on horseback charging the dragon with lance”…and no pistols in the scene? First off…um, when does such a thing ever occur in D&D anyway (that fighter is generally going to have a supporting cast helping him handle the dragon including a wizard with plenty of cannon-like firepower)? And second…just because firearms exist doesn’t mean you don’t still use a sword and shield.

Look, in Spain (let me note once again: gold mine of cool info, folks)…in Spain, the army in the late 15th or 16th through the 17th century divided its troops into four parts:

- the artillery (the dudes with the cannons)
- the cavalry
- the musketeers (rifleman)
- the pikemen

Of these, all but the artillery guys (and maybe even they) were carrying swords as standard weapons, not decoration. They used a four pronged approach to warfare that served them quite well for several centuries…after all, Spain WAS a major world power up until the 20th century (and who knows…they DID just win the World Cup this year…). All these guys would wear some form of breastplate (at least) with the pikemen (natch) wearing near full plate armor…and swords were standard weapons for melee fighting (the pikes were for breaking up and defending against cavalry and other pickemen).

You don’t lose your small scale, man-to-man combat with the invention of firearms. Masses of English longbowmen didn’t render the blade obsolete either…and they were plenty effective (if not moreso) than guns for several centuries.

So why not include firearms in D&D?

Here are some possible theories, off the top of my head:

1) Not true to D&D’s “literary roots.” You generally don’t see firearms in “sword & sorcery” stories. Conan doesn’t use guns. Elric doesn’t use guns. Fafhrd and Mouser don’t use guns. Of course, those stories generally take place in some “primal age” before the sinking of Atlantis or the 4th Age or whatever. Of course, with the exception (perhaps) of Elric, those guys don’t wear plate armor either. ALSO, being “primeval” they exist long before the Christian-mythos inherent in the hodge-podge that is D&D (i.e. “no clerics” in sword & sorcery).

2) Historical Laziness. Plate armor without firearms based on poor research/knowledge. OR poor understanding of how firearms would affect the game (issues of “game balance;” thinking they would somehow render other weapons/equipment moot).

3) Design Laziness. Throwing up their hands at the thought of creating “accurate” rules. Or figuring out how much such weapons would cost. Or how much damage they’d do. Or figuring the equipment list is already plenty long. Or something.

4) Guns aren’t “magical” enough. In a game where magic is an accepted part of life, the “science” of gunpowder/chemistry seems out of place. Alchemists brewing “potions” with eye of newt? Yes. Mixing up saltpeter and sulfur? No. The Age of Reason leads to the end of the Age of Magic or something. And can a magic-user craft a +2 Blunderbuss or a Pouch of Endless Shot or something?

5) Inertia. D&D doesn’t have guns. So D&D doesn’t have guns.


Now I recognize that there are other fantasy RPGs of the sword-swinging variety that tackle the whole issue. Warhammer FRP DOES have firearms AND plate armor. Ars Magica is set in the 12th-13th century and has neither. Pendragon, set in the middle ages ALSO has neither. And certain genre-specific games (like ElfQuest and Stormbringer) only have the technology portrayed in their respective Intellectual Properties (plate armor SANS firearms, though only in specific circumstances/cultures).

Here’s the deal folks: that last tactic may work for other games, but D&D has (historically speaking) NOT had a specific IP associated with it (much as WotC may trademark otherwise). This was always one of its strengths…that it could be adapted to any type of fantasy, small combat, explorative adventure setting.

And IF your conquistadors are hacking and slashing their way through the jungle, despite the sun beating down on their steel plated armor, THEN WHY NOT allow them to carry a musket or two or a brace of pistols?

Because it’s “too useful?” Um, all damage does 1D6 in B/X (and even with variable damage charts, I wouldn’t have a gun do more than 1D8, or whatever a crossbow does).

Because shot is “too cheap to produce?” Um, it’s little easier to smelt musket balls than it is to fletch arrows, and putting powder together in the right proportions is a lot trickier…and as with other missile weapons, ammo is going to be a lot harder to come by once you’re out on safari.

Because it’s not “magical” enough? Good. Fine. Not everything need be magical. Magic arrows are a lot more common than magic bows (and is there even such a thing as magical “shot” for a sling? David and Goliath might say so)…and magic swords are much more common than those. Rightly so…when it comes to combat, D&D has always favored the sword over the arrow anyway…why should pistols be any different.

Because I don’t have an accurate price list for guns? Um, D&D has never been incredibly accurate with regard to pricing. Use historical values or your own fantasy economy and “wing it.” I prefer something like comparative costs in Mordheim (the Games Workshop game) for this type of thing.

Honestly, I see no reason not to use firearms in D&D, unless you’re really big into having light catapults aboard sailing ships (which I always thought was a little ridiculous) or use a lot of siege warfare and feel D&D castles wouldn’t stand up against cannon bombardment (not with the Rules As Written, certainly). But I know A LOT of folks never explore that far into the game rules anyway; i.e. most folks aren’t doing naval or siege warfare in their D&D campaigns. So why not throw a pistol or two into the mix. I’d rather see THAT, than a standard party of adventurers carrying “hand crossbows” purchased using the Unearthed Arcana rules!

; )