Monday, November 18, 2019

National Blood Bowl League

This should be my last Blood Bowl post for a while...everyone can heave a sigh of relief.

I've been blogging about Blood Bowl since 2009...basically since I began this blog. Not terribly surprising since I've been playing the game since the second edition (published 1989) and been a ravenous fan of my hometown team since pretty much its inception.

[okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration...I wasn't a "ravenous fan" at age three (though my parents perhaps were)...my love for the team started circa 1983 with the inaugural season of Chuck Knox. I would have been nine years old at the time. I was already playing Dungeons & Dragons back then]

I've written before how I enjoy slipping on my gamer glasses and viewing the National Football League through a Blood Bowl perspective...it continues a snarky tradition of the "fluff" that I first encountered in 2E BB when the designers took the time to file off the NFL serial numbers for their own fictional Blood Bowl league, with teams like the "Darkside Cowboys" and the "Kichargo Werebears." It's all meant to be done in good fun; as I explained in this earlier post (from 2012):

The humorous fantasy world of Blood Bowl isn’t built on the standard, “logical” fantasy tropes. We’re talking about a fantasy world that imagines fans of many disparate cultures (Chaos mutants and high elves and orks and hobbits) rubbing shoulders in the stands and waiting in queue together for half-time refreshments. It’s not a RATIONAL fantasy world; it’s a silly and entertaining one. Sure the orkish team might eat any fallen opponents that aren’t carted off the field fast enough…but I don’t think that reflects necessarily on any real life pro-football team associated with the orks. Just as an orkish Blood Bowl team doesn’t really reflect the nature of ork tribes found in “standard” fantasy games and fiction (i.e. bloody awful, genocidal maniacs championing the cause of Chaos and evil by their very nature). In a standard fantasy world, one wouldn’t deal with an ork tribe in any way except at the end of a sword…in the Blood Bowl universe, one might trade them a high draft pick in exchange for a star blocker and a guarantee they won’t snack on the Halfling cheerleaders in the 3rd quarter.

Choosing the proper fantasy "team type" for the various NFL franchises is a mental exercises that I find amusing, engaging, and nicely intersects my love of both the sport and the game. Also, it's great for helping with color schemes for my painting (I must have enough BB minis these days to field 20+ teams). Generally, I base my decisions on a team's history and tendencies and overall "character" though I try to keep a particular proportion of species to the league (rarer team types show up in fewer numbers than, say, human or orcish ones), and this has been further influenced by the teams offered in various editions of the game, now in its 7th (?) edition.

While some teams are easy to pigeonhole as a particular type (the Seahawks have always been orcs, for example), others have been a lot harder to figure out, and many have shifted conceptually in my mind, generally due to rising and falling fortunes. For example, for the longest time I pegged the Buffalo Bills as a "human" team, generally based on my memory of them as a powerhouse in the 90s with an all-around slate of stars (Jim Kelly, Thurman Thomas, Bruce Smith, Andre Reed, Don Beebe, etc.). However, their two decades of missing the playoffs (only one playoff appearance...in 2017!...since 1999), and a general failure to hit on draft picks, free agent trades, and coaching hires, has caused me to revise my opinion of them to a "halfling" team (nothing says futility like a team of halflings). A consistent lack of "team identity" contributes to this. Plus, of course, Buffalo wings.

[halflings in the Blood Bowl setting, are more known for their chef skills than their play]

The solid Bills' teams of the 90's are more the outlier...they show the potential of the team (yes, halfling teams can be competitive...I've seen them win tournaments in my home games. They're just a challenging team to use). Anyway, as I'm using the current 32 team league as currently constructed, I generally give more weight to team histories since the realignment in 2002. Generally.

With that being said, here's how I see the NFL currently; there are quite a few differences from my thoughts back in 2010, when I first went through this exercise:

AFC East

Bills: Halfling
As explained above.

Dolphins: Wood Elf
They thrived for years on a good passing attack, but they've just had a tough time (in recent decades) in putting it together. Wood elves are notorious for being very expensive and very fragile and running them for long term success is a tricky bit. The 'Fins miss Don Shula.

Jets: Halfling
Like Buffalo, I had these guys down as "human" for a long time, but despite a handful of playoff appearances the J-E-T-S have been a mess for a long time. Joe Namath's famous bravado I chalk up to that of a precocious (and slightly skewed) Hobbit, who somehow managed to survive long enough to acquire a decent suite of passing skills. The antics of these guys (name me a Jets QB of the last 15 years and I'll name you a ridiculous incident or scandal associated with him) borders on the comical, and halflings are the court fools of the Blood Bowl circuit. Prove me wrong Adam Gase.

Patriots: Dark Elf
I've held the Patriots to be elves for a long time, but I long ago changed my mind to think of them as the Dark variety, rather than High Elves. Sure there's the whole cheating thing, but more than that is the fashion in which they thrive in the passing game without the use of star wide receivers. Dark elves don't have true "catchers" (haven't since 2nd edition anyway) instead making use of a running game and dangerous "bashy" types (witch elves, assassins, etc.). For a while in 4E they were allowed to field a minotaur, and I'd be willing to stat one out as Rob Gronkowski. Anyway, they always seem to be playing cold night games in December (and January) and that's says "Dark Elf" to me far more than the sunny goody two-shoe variety of point-ears.

AFC North

Bengals: Wood Elf
Best as a fast, passing attack, but prone too breakage and expensive.

Browns: Chaos Dwarf
Mostly hobgoblins.

Ravens: Chaos Renegade
I had these guys as Norse for a while. They're not. They're a bashy group of miscreants that sometimes get the combination right. Lamar Jackson is a skaven...we'll see how long he lasts before his leg gets broken a la Randall Cunningham (yes, I know he's compared a lot to Michael Vick, but his physical profile is much more like Cunningham, and Vick was a far better passer). "Chaos Renegade" is a new team type for the latest BB edition, a throw-back to the original Chaos All-Stars of 2E that features neither Beastmen nor Chaos Warriors, just cast offs from various team types (generally of the evil variety) and a bunch of Big Guys (trolls, ogres, minotaurs). Tough to reign in, but Harbaugh's proven to be a solid coach.

Steelers: Orc
I kind of hate this pick because I hate the Steelers, but it fits, and Pittsburgh's wa-agh is nearly as good as Seattle's. Also, I dislike it because "Big Ben" Roethlisberger is far easier to model as a chaos warrior than an orc thrower...I guess you just have to give him a couple "+s" to strength (he's still tough to bring down). On the other hand, Roethlisberger's been more injury prone in recent years which fits with an orc thrower's lesser AV (armor value) score. Yeah, orc.

AFC South

Colts: High Elf
Is there anything more High Elf than a team that sported Johnny Unitas, Peyton Manning, and Andrew Luck? Come on. Plus those Royal Blue jerseys and shining white helmets? Really?

Jaguars: Amazon
I'm relying a bit on fluff here, but the Jags have had such a difficult time finding consistency over the years that it's tough to go on anything else. Besides the jaguar is found in the same region of the world from whence come the warlike Amazons (in the Warhammer world). And Gardner Minshew's headbands and cut-off shorts would certainly fit with normal Amazon attire.

Texans: Undead
See this post.

Titans: Goblin
I held these guys as orcs for a long time, but they're not. Just a bunch of goblins with the occasional troll or goblin looney/fanatic/bomma/pogoer thrown into the mix.

AFC West

Broncos: Dwarf
Nothing changed from 2010. Manning had to fall down to dwarf levels of effectiveness to wind up on this team.

Chargers: Elf Union
I'm convinced. The chargers are elves, not orcs as I wrote nine years ago. They're not quite Wood Elves, but they are much more of the "traditional" (2E) elf team that the latest Elf Union type seems to model. From Fouts to Rivers these guys can sling the rock...and face all the usual downfalls of that team type. LaDainian Tomlinson was one of those rare (and expensive) elf blitzers that thrived in both the running and passing game.

Chiefs: Human
I have gone back and forth on this one. How do you classify a team that had both Christian Okoye and Priest Holmes? Tony Gonzalez and Derrick Thomas? Trent Green and Patrick Mahomes? Marty Schottenheimer and Andy Reid? Though they haven't had a Super Bowl championship since 1969, they've had success and consistency, but in vastly different ways. As such, I'm most inclined to make them "humans" with the occasional ogre ally, rather than a pure ogre team as I wrote previously...comparing them to the Oldheim Ogres (hardly a successful franchise) is grossly unfair. They've showed versatility and the ability to thrive in multiple strategies, even as ultimate victory has often eluded their grasp...that's part and parcel of a human team in Blood Bowl.

Raiders: Goblin
I don't know what I was smoking before. The Raiders are a goblin team, just for their pure goblin mayhem. There are no Chaos Warriors or Beastmen on this team...just goblins (they traded their troll to Chicago last year). Jon Gruden is a goblin. Raider Nation are goblins. The Oakland Colisseum (don't give me this "RingCentral" BS) is as goblin a stadium as they come. And Las Vegas is a city packed to the brim with goblins and their ilk. Goblin goblin goblin.

NFC East

Cowboys: Dark Elf
Any team that chooses Pepsi over Coke is evil. 'Nuff said.

Eagles: Human
Ugh...this one is so hard. I keep wanting to make them skaven or "underworld" (skaven-goblin) but mainly due to the city's rather notorious fanbase. But they're humans. Hooligans, sure...these ain't the Bright Crusaders (maybe if "Saint Nick" was still starting for the team?), but that's not reflective of the team on the field. The Eagles have been at their best when they've been an all around, versatile team. Balanced is the proper term...which is another trait indicative of the humans in Blood Bowl.

Giants: Dwarf
Nothing's changed here.

'Skins: Orc
Ditto these guys. Amazing the difference that ownership and coaching makes...just like in Blood Bowl.

NFC North

Bears: Chaos
Still an easy pick.

Lions: Underworld Denizens
I've upped my opinion of the Lions. With the addition of the Underworld Denizens team to BB (a combo of goblins and skaven based on the famous Underworld Creepers), I'm inclined to upgrade them from a pure goblin team...they've just had too many stars that fail as "goblins." Matthew Stafford...man, Detroit is going to miss him when he's gone...as I'm sure they miss Calvin Johnson.

Packers: Human
The prototypical "human" team.

Vikings: Norse
Ha ha very funny. But this is another tough one. Fran Tarkenton versus Daunte Culpepper versus Kirk Cousins? Plus throw in Adrian Peterson, Chris Carter, and Randy Moss. The one constant seems to be a very tough defense, on both good teams and bad. Give me the slow-footed Norsemen who all carry the "block" skill.

NFC South

Buccaneers: Chaos Dwarf
Still.

Falcons: Skaven
Still.

Panthers: ???
I'm at an absolute loss. I have "lizard man" written in my notes, but that's one Blood Bowl team I've never owned, used, or played against so I really don't know how they handle. I mean, Steve Smith was small and speedy like a skink, but he was also a mean SOB who didn't shy away from contact. Is Cam Newton a kroxigor? What about Kerry Collins or Jake Dehomme? And how do you classify Kuechly, Peppers, and Olsen...let alone Christian McCaffrey (Kyle Allen is just "Collins 2.0"). The Panthers have had success, but not fantastic success (a couple Super Bowl appearances but no trophies). They fling it around a little too much to be called a serious running team, but they run too much to leave that out of the discussion...plus a feisty, tough defense that (for me) takes human teams off the table. Plus there's "River Boat" Ron Rivera, willing to gamble on crazy schemes and unorthodox coaching decisions. They're a little too coherent to be called a Chaos Renegade, but maybe straight Chaos? Maybe...Newton could definitely be a solid Chaos Warrior out of the Carolina wasteland.

Saints: Nurgle
See this post.

NFC West

Cardinals: Undead
I know I've referred to the Cards as halflings many times over the years. But two things have changed my mind on them in the last decade+ besides they're changing fortunes. One is the continued presence of the immortal Larry Fitzgerald; apparently, the star is a vampire who sleeps away the off-season in a restful torpor, only to be revived in August by whichever necromancer has taken the helm of the franchise. The other reason is that Arizona is where old players go to resurrect their careers.

Forty-Niners: Dwarf
The running game is imperative, but it seems to be back, as is the violent defensive front. Dwarves are a pain in the ass...just like the Niners. They hav

Forty-Niners: Dwarf 
The running game is imperative, but it seems to be back, as is the violent defensive front. Dwarves are a pain in the ass...just like the Niners. They have all the tools they need to become a new force in the west, if they can get competent play out of "Jimmy G."

Rams: Skaven 
Nothing's changed here. Steve Jackson's been replaced by Todd Gurley. Aaron Donald provides a lot of destruction in a small (for a defensive lineman) package. And Sean McVey is doing what he can to recreate his own "greatest show on turf" with an elaborate offensive attack. Moving the team from the subterranean caverns of the St. Louis "Dome" to the glitter and sleaze of Los Angeles means nothing: the rats are still the rats.

Seahawks: Orc 
And the orcs are still the orcs.

All right...that's waaaay more than enough. Sheesh! In between actually watching football and doing the usual family stuff (including multiple games of Blood Bowl with the kids), this post took nearly three days to write. As I wrote at the top, this should be my last BB post for the foreseeable future...and probably my last post period for a bit. I'm heading out of town at the end of the week for an early vacation and we won't be back till after the Thanksgiving holiday.

Later Gators. : ) 


Friday, November 15, 2019

MVP Goblin

It was my birthday Wednesday. Wasn't fantastic...in fact, I felt depressed most of the day. But folks I know have (for the most part) been nice to me the last couple-few days and I'm really trying to work through this funk I'm in at the moment.

Hence, yet another Blood Bowl post.

[and I apologize, but I just need to write (at the moment) and I need to write about gaming (at the moment) and while I've been considering various curmudgeonly D&D-related topics I just can't quite bring myself to mull about in negativity...especially as it only seems to bring more negativity to my mood]

The home town team has been playing well of late, which is always cause for happiness around my household. Yes, they seem inclined on pushing their fans to the brink of heart attack every week (two overtime wins in a row? Jeez!) but...well, when you've watched them as much as I have, you should know this has been the team's modus operandi for the majority of the Pete Carroll/Russell Wilson era.

Waaaay back in 2013, Wilson's rookie year, I wrote about the "magical" season the Seahawks were having, even daring to think "championship," although I could not have foreseen them winning the Super Bowl the following year, nor their return to the Big Dance the year after. I had no inkling that the magical rookie goblin would continue to pull rabbits (and wins) out of his hat for year after year and season after season...there was no way such antics could be sustained in a league of professional athletes and the brightest tactical (coaching) minds of the sport. Look at the top quarterbacks of his draft year: Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III (RG3), both of whom were selected in the NFL draft before Wilson. Their careers hardly panned out the way people expected (they were selected #1 and #2 overall)...but that's how NFL careers often go; nothing is guaranteed. And the sport is so team oriented that it's difficult for ONE player to make a significant difference (impact, yes; difference, no) without the rest of the team (and coaching staff) also working together.

Yet Russell Wilson has not only survived but thrived...leading his team to the play-offs even when parts of his team have been falling apart. Not that Coach Carroll has ever allowed a season to become a complete dumpster fire like, say, the Cleveland Browns...but every year seems to bring new challenges to overcome. This year it's been fumbled-handed skill players, an utter lack of pass rush (until Monday's game against the Niners), and a defensive secondary that's been horsewhipped by really mediocre offenses on multiple occasions...something unheard of in the Carroll era (who was himself a defensive back before building his career as a defensive minded coach). Through it all, Wilson has continued to deliver, only missing the play-offs in 2017 when injuries to key players (Richard Sherman and Kam Chancellor) in a Week 10 Thursday night game (after the trade deadline) precipitated a losing 4 of the their last 7 games.

And he still managed to finish the season 9-7.

Cold blooded assassin...look
at those eyes.
In the Super Bowl years, everything was clicking for the Seahawks AND they had Wilson playing his normal brand of magic...I'd cite a key defensive line injury in the second Super Bowl (to pro bowl defensive end Cliff Avril) that allowed Tom Brady the time he needed to mount a comeback in the 4th quarter (and even so, Wilson still almost won the game despite throwing a grievous interception at the end). This year, the team is far from "clicking;" yet Russell Wilson is delivering his finest season yet. So much so that even national pundits are considering him the MVP of the league, at least through the first ten weeks of the season.

So, as I've done with other players over the years, it's time to revise my prior (2013) Blood Bowl stats for #3. He is currently the highest paid quarterback (and highest paid player) in the NFL, justifiably so. He is pretty much at the top of his game.  He is a superstar. His stat line should reflect that; here it is:

Russell Wilson (#3)
Species: Goblin
MA: 6  ST: 2  AG: 4  AV: 8*
Skills: Dodge, Hail Mary Pass, Leader, Pass, Side Step, Strong Arm, Stunty**
Cost: 250,000 gold pieces
Allowable Teams: Seattle Seahawks (Orc) only

* While the most recent edition of Blood Bowl does allow an increase to Armor Value (AV), it limits the total number of Star Player advances to SIX (earlier editions allowed a maximum of seven advances). This increase models Wilson's inherent durability and is reflected in his cost.
** Unlike most goblins, Wilson has shown a remarkable ability to withstand punishment that would sideline a normal quarterback; he ignores the usual injury modification for being Stunty. However, Wilson is a franchise quarterback and his coaches would NEVER allow him to be handled by a troll or thrown downfield; he may not use the Right Stuff skill.

It is a bye week for the Seahawks this weekend, and the orcs are taking a well deserved vacation. I'm not sure how long my current Blood Bowl bender will last; the kids and I have been playing a lot of Firefly this week, but if we decide to pull out the BB teams instead, you might end up reading more of these posts. Sorry, folks!

So Hobgoblin


Damn it, Browns. Really? You're finally beating the team (after five years of futility) and you start this?

So hobgoblin.

Monday, November 11, 2019

Chicken Dinner


Great season, great win.


Regular posting will resume eventually. Kids are home form school today.

Happy Vets Day.
: )

Sunday, November 10, 2019

Sherm

There's no Seahawks game today, and even if there was I'd probably be ignoring it in favor of the MLS Cup going on, featuring my Seattle Sounders versus Toronto FC. If the Seahawks get to the Super Bowl this year, it will have been in spite of several in-season missteps (including two home losses!), whereas the Sounders have already proven themselves by getting to the championship round. They get my undivided attention today.

Which is Sunday, by the way. Which is NOT the day I'm writing this, by the way. I'm scheduling it forward 100% because I intend to be fully occupied this Sunday. Go Sounders! Scarves up!

MONDAY will be the Seahawks game this week, and it features a 7-2 Seattle team attempting to hold pace with the undefeated San Francisco 49ers. The Niners are smashing teams this year based on a last place schedule and a seriously destructive defense that features no less than five #1 draft picks in their front seven and a renewed secondary benefitting from the leadership of Richard Sherman. Sherman is a fantastic player, and I fully expect him to have a good game against the Seahawks tomorrow night...not because the Seahawks are bad, but because he is an experienced, savvy vet who uses his brain, film study, and incredibly effort to get the most out of his body's ability to physically perform.

Yes, I'm still a fan of the man, even though he's no longer on my team. I watched the effort and class with which he carried himself for years, most of which didn't make the national highlight (or, rather, lowlight) reels that cast him as a "villain" to feed media-fueled storylines. Such is the way of entertainment news. Being a superstar with a big ego isn't really a crime...unlike, say, being a sexual predator or physically assaulting folks.

But I digress...this is meant to be a Blood Bowl post (it's been too long since my last one). I still see various NFL teams as having Blood Bowl equivalents, but one of the (main) ways the analogy falls down is when it comes to free agency. The Seahawks are still orcs, the 49ers are still dwarves (and yes, the Cleveland Browns are still the Hobgoblin team -- just a classic cluster***)...but how can you justify players switching between teams (like Sherm moving down to Santa Clara?)?

Short answer: you can't. Oh, maybe you (or I) could come up with some sort of house rule to justify it, but it's just as easy to say *poof* the player magically transforms into the correct fantasy race upon signing with a team. Or you could just ignore it (which I will do) and say Star Players are Star Players are Star Players and like 3E Blood Bowl's Morg N'Throg, NFL-based Star Players are true mercenaries who will play for ANY team, regardless of species.

So here's my current version of Richard Sherman as a (Blood Bowl) Star Player:

Richard Sherman (#25)
Species: Orc
MA: 5  ST: 3  AG: 3  AV: 9
Skills: Catch, Leader, Pass Block, Pro, Shadowing, Tackle
Cost: 190,000 gold pieces
Allowable Teams: Any (alternatively: limited to NFC West teams)

[notes: I realize that this version of Sherman is different from the stat line I posted back in 2013; not only have my thoughts on the player changed (cornerbacks really model better as line players, not blitzers), but the player himself has changed. This stat line is a better representation of Sherman as a character in the game as currently designed. Also, while earlier editions of BB allowed stars to have a maximum of seven advances, the current version only allows six...which is fine considering that, as an older player, Sherm might not quite as fast as he once was. Not that he was ever a "burner;" his game has always been more cerebral, based on study and preparation combined with impeccable timing]

Hoping Lockett has a better game than
Sherman tomorrow night.

Friday, November 8, 2019

The Old Man's Game

I'm beginning to think that blogging is an old man's game.

Yeah, there's probably some that disagree, and I may well be wrong. Certainly I've read plenty of blogs from "young whippersnappers" that are far more polished, commercialized, and frequented (by readers) than my own. But I'm not really talking about the "industry" of making money off the internet's social sharing platforms. Hell, it may be that I'm only targeting my own niche part of the blog-o-sphere (i.e. the "blog about the tabletop RPG" niche) with my expression...and maybe only with regard to the way I (personally) use my blog. Which is for the following:

- Sharing my thoughts, musings, and reflections on the subject matter at hand (and personal experiences that somehow/somewhat relate).
- Recording those same thoughts, musings, and reflections for my own edification and possible transformation (or, at least, later reflection).

However, while anyone (young or old) could blog for those same reasons, the older you are, the more experience you're going to have to draw from...which is quite necessary to sustain a blog over the long haul (at least, as far as as sustaining blogs that will hold my interest). Sure there are exceptions to this but in general older is better.

Probably I'm just an opinionated jerk, but the things that delight and inspire younger folks often fail to amuse me. But then, youngsters' blogs tend to be short-lived anyway: what kind of 20 year old spends a decade blogging about a game or hobby they've only engaged in for a handful of years?

Sorry...I suppose I'm having "one of those mornings" that middle aged dudes have (from time to time). Tell you what: I'm going to step away from the laptop for a bit and see if I can come back with  something, if not completely constructive, at least worth a discussion (or heated argument). Something to mull over while waiting for the weekend's festivities to begin.

Ciao.


Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Learning to DM


Most Dungeon Masters are "self-taught" (that is, they are themselves solely responsible for their own training), for the simple reason that there isn't all that many (any?) teachers taking on students for this particular curriculum.

[and, yes, I am excluding Alexis, whose on-line classes are aimed at individuals who are already "DMs;" he is, in effect, providing a higher level of training to individuals already possessing a degree of knowledge and ability in the art of Dungeon Mastering]

And yet, in the great scheme of things that can be taught, learning to DM isn't one of those things that fall in the "easy" or "straightforward" category. My eight year old is currently learning how to write in cursive...a simple enough task for someone who already has a grasp of the alphabet, consisting mostly of memorization and practicing the proper hand motions. My five year old is in the process of learning to read: much more complex (despite having a working knowledge of the 26 alphabet characters) because of the various rules and exceptions found in the English language.

Personally I have a bit of a phobia (well, more like trepidation) when it comes to working technology, yet even I can learn to configure a printer (or to change its toner cartridge) by following a simple instruction sheet...and rather quickly. Cooking simple dishes for my family (frying eggs and bacon for my children's breakfast, as I did this morning), took very little time to master...though it's a bit trickier than pouring cereal in a bowl and adding milk. And as far as learning new games (of the board and card variety)...well, it really doesn't take me long to digest the small pamphlets of instructions that come in the box, whether you're talking Happy Salmon or Axis & Allies (both games I've learned in the last couple years).

But learning to DM? No, that's a whole different level of learning.

Still, I have learned how to DM...as have ALL the DMs and GMs I've ever sat with at table (as a player). And regardless of their particular level of competence, or base adequacy (proficiency, of course, varies between individuals) we've all shared the common thread of having been forced to learn for ourselves how to do this thing that we're doing. I've yet to meet a single person who was trained in the art of running and refereeing an RPG.

Now, for the rest of this post, I'll only be discussing Dungeons & Dragons specifically.

So, how does one learn to be a DM? For myself, I've run (as a DM) at least five different versions of D&D, not counting "half" editions (3.5, etc.). My longest and most memorable campaigns were run using the 1st edition AD&D rules...but I didn't learn how to DM from those books. I learned from Tom Moldvay's Basic set (the "B" in B/X). And I think, if you polled most DMs running pre-WotC versions of Dungeons & Dragons, you'd find MOST of them got their initial "chops" from some form of Basic D&D: either Holmes or B/X or Frank Mentzer's rewrite of Basic (the one with Bargle and Aleena). Prior to 1977 (Holmes) the haphazardness of dis-integrated rules that made up "D&D" was such that unless you were one of the primogenitors of the game (Gygax and Lake Geneva folks) your D&D quite possibly looked wildly different from what would eventually become mainstream Dungeons & Dragons.

[see Arneson's First Fantasy Campaign notes, Hargrave's Arduin, St. Andre's Tunnels & Trolls origin story, Barker's Tekumel, etc. The operable phrase here is "wildly different;" certainly most (if not all) campaigns, mainstream or not, exhibit differences in table/house rules]

But I believe that it is only with the advent of "basic" that D&D has any chance of proliferating at all. DMing is just too complex a task without an entry level set of instructions.

Looking at the cover of my Jeff Easley-illustrated AD&D books, the game is explicitly written for players "ages 10 and up," an age range exactly duplicated on the covers of the later 2nd edition books. But while I don't deny (or doubt) that there are some brilliant 10 year olds abounding in the world, I find it difficult to believe that there are all that many who could pick up the AD&D books alone and start running a campaign. Can a 10 year old play AD&D? Yes, of course...my younger brother was probably 9 years old when the campaign of our youth went "full Advanced." But learn to run a game? Mmm...it's hard to believe. I could...but only because I had a basic set as an entry point.

Self-teaching...the only route open to most (if not all) would-be DMs...involves learning the rules (i.e. reading the instruction manual), integrating them, and then practicing them. Competency and skill are acquired from the practice of being a DM: designing/prepping adventures and running the game for live players. But you cannot design, prep, or run if you cannot first learn the rules...and for most individuals that means putting them in an accessible, readily digestible format. 600 pages of instructions (the combined count for the 5E PHB and DMG) isn't what I call "readily digestible." But then neither is first edition's 300+ pages. Is it any wonder that we see so many folks running games of Basic or Basic retro-clones or cutdown "semi-clones" (like Microlite20 and Black Hack)?

Dungeons & Dragons is still a game that people want to play, but play requires someone to run the game as a DM. Running a game of D&D isn't rocket science, but it is complex, requiring the internalization of a number of different systems and mechanics as well as an ability to manage a number of unique personalities (i.e. the players) while providing engaging situations/scenarios through a combination of pacing and tension based (mostly) in narration. That's a lot to juggle. And while many players have come to the game through a form of "mentorship" (being shown the ropes by more experienced players), there ain't a whole lot of mentoring available for those willing to pick up the mantle of "Dungeon Master." Videos showing actual play or providing advice on how to create a campaign are just another tool for a person engaged in "self teaching," but it's not the same thing as being addressed and coached by an actual teacher. And hell, a lot of these videos have information that is bad or downright incorrect.

Forget certification...can we get some sort of apprenticeship program for prospective DMs?

Learning to play D&D is simple. Learning to run D&D isn't. And learning to run D&D well? That's a whole 'nother level.

I suppose this might work in lieu of
a Basic rulebook. Is it 64 pages?