Word from Hobbiton

If you had asked me in the 90s who my favorite filmmaker was, I probably would have said Quentin Tarentino. Not only did I find his movies immensely enjoyable, I found they really spoke to my sensibilities (if that makes any sense)…maybe one Gen X’er communicating with another through their visual craft. And perhaps he still might be my favorite: I haven’t seen Django but I hear it’s pretty good.

However, having NOT seen Django, I was willing to pass the title of “favorite filmmaker” to Peter Jackson after seeing his latest film, The Hobbit. Simply put, Jackson creates beautiful films.

And I don’t just mean visually beautiful (which they are…stunningly so). His films are filled with beautiful SENTIMENT. And it IS beautiful…it is "heartfelt." Even District 9…you feel for the protagonist despite him being a rank bastard. But especially with movies like King Kong and The Hobbit, Jackson just finds ways to put beautiful little nuances of sentiment on the screen. And (to me) it’s wonderful to see. 

I liked The Hobbit, and I liked it a lot. Even though he took liberties with Tolkien’s words, for the most part (we’ll get to that in moment) he used those liberties to communicate the sentiment and themes Tolkien was trying to communicate. Sure it was perhaps a trifle heavy handed (Gandalf’s council with the elves), but it’s pretty tough to communicate the themes of a novel into a film, when you have to use exposition to explain what is communicated through the inner monologues of an author’s characters. Especially when you’re breaking up a single novel into multiple movies (and yet want to echo the same theme across each installment…): you can’t just have Thorin on his death bed saying “yeah, maybe we should value good cheer and simple pleasures over hoarded gold,” with nothing of the sentiment in the first film.

[sorry if that’s a spoiler: I just figure most of my blog readers have read the book in the past]

What I also greatly enjoyed was the elaboration Jackson brought to the film. I saw The Hobbit with my buddy Steve-O who said “that was cool how they connected the quest against the dragon with the threat of Smaug allying with Sauron.” But this wasn’t a Jackson invention: Gandalf’s motivations with regard to the dwarves’ quest is discussed at length in the appendix of Tolkien’s later book Return of the King. Including this information in the film not only shows P-Jack (or his screenwriters) have done their homework, it also helps tie the film to his earlier (LotR) films.

Meanwhile, Jackson’s portrayal of Thorin’s anti-elf sentiment (which IS present in the book) gives new meaning to the feud while shedding light on it. Of course the proud dwarf bears some resentment to the pointy-eared folk for their lack of aid to his people…it’s not a radical interpretation, it’s a LOGICAL interpretation. Reading Shakespeare’s plays, one finds a surprising lack of stage directions considering all the on-stage action that takes place…the actions and character motivations must be interpreted from the dialogue…and Jackson does the same thing with Tolkien’s words.  Same with other characters (like Radaghast the Brown).

Other “liberties” are just the necessity of film adaptation: why is Thorin the hero at the gates of Moria instead of Dain? Because Dain isn’t a central character to the main story being told (his role is combined in Thorin’s character, just as Glorfindel was combined into Arwen in the Fellowship film). Why does Jackson stage this elaborate chase/warg fight (following the troll scene) that is never found in the book? Because it enables the filmmaker to drive Thorin & Co. into Rivendell (when it’s been established that Thorin will have nothing to do with the elves). Why do the trolls end up eating the horses (instead of the goblins in the mountains)? Because of the complexity of filming ponies on a mountain pass. Why is Bilbo the troll trickster (as opposed to Gandalf as in the book?)? Because the film-maker has to show a bit of Bilbo’s ingenuity, courage, and cunning which (prior to later chapters of the book) are otherwise only present in the character’s inner thoughts at this point in the story…if Jackson doesn’t SHOW something of this, visually (film being a visual medium), you end up with a very passive and non-factor protagonist.

In a book, there’s nothing passive about Bilbo’s role…told from his point of view the story features his inner struggles throughout the book (with whether he wants to be a hero or not, or take the tough road or not). There is an inner conflict of the Everyman character which (while dramatic in a novel form) needs to be reinterpreted for a different art form. And Jackson does a good job of it, in my opinion.

NOW, having said all that and heaping praise on the film, I have to voice my main gripe:

What’s with all the goddamn fighting?

Much as I enjoyed the film, much as I liked Jackson’s interpretations and liberties and creativity, the martial take and action sequences nearly killed the whole deal for me. Not because I’m a bleeding-heart liberal commie-socialist…I ENJOY action and violence in films immensely (just picked up a Blue-Ray copy of John Woo’s Hard Boiled the other day). Films and fiction (and role-playing) are for me, the only deserving place FOR violence and fighting, not the real world.

No, my issue is how out-of-place the martial attitude was. Not only was this NOT “true to the books” (in this way the film went WAY off the rails from Tolkien’s sentiment), it also did little (if anything) to contribute to the story being told. For me, it DETRACTED from the story.

There was SO much focus on combat and fighting that comparing the Hobbit film to the Hobbit novel (or even the earlier animated film) is like comparing 4^th edition D&D to the old TSR editions. It’s like it misses the f’ing point for the sake of catering to the lowest common denominator. Or (to put my rant a little differently) it’s like Peter Jackson suddenly decided his target audience was too stupid to enjoy the film without throwing in a bunch of LotR-style fight scenes (LotR is, after all, a war story, but it’s not the fight scenes that made it a great film).

No, I’m not upset that visually the dwarves look like characters from a Capital One commercial (“What’s in YOUR wallet?”); being based in part on Nordic myth has always made Tolkien characters seem a little Viking-esque. And Thorin IS a warrior-noble type (the main fighter of the group) and his nephews (Filli and Killi) are cut from the same cloth (at least, judging by their particular end…sorry again for the spoiler) as well as old Balin (his lieutenant) and by reasonable assumption Dwalin (Balin’s brother).

BUT (for example…and here there be FILM spoilers, FYI)…BUT when the hobbit gets caught by the trolls and the dwarves launch a frontal assault leading to an elaborate set-piece combat, it just about made me want to retch with disgust. Those who have read The Hobbit five or six times (like myself) will remember that the dwarves come looking for Bilbo and get popped into the troll sacks except for Thorin…who comes later, is sneakier, and manages to bash a troll upside the head with a log from the fire before being caught. This establishes a couple things:

-          Tone setting (danger and jeopardy)

-          Character development (dwarf loyalty, good-heartedness)
-          Character development (Thorin’s cunning and fight-worthiness)

Instead, the film gives us a ridiculous fight scene that establishes nothing except that dwarves seem to be spoiling for a fight at every opportunity (even the stupid slingshot guy…I mean, how stupid is that dwarf? What happened to “discretion being the better part of valor?”). The dwarves are still captured and look dumb in the process. Thorin is not shown to be “a cut above the rest.” And we learn nothing new about the dangers of Middle Earth…I mean wouldn’t you already get Big Scary Danger + Drama & Tension if the scene were filmed as written? Don’t you want to contrast these particular dwarves in comparison to the heroic companions of the Fellowship of the Ring (whom, one might recall, have a fight with a troll in the Mines of Moria. Thorin & Co. look  like they’re on par with Aragorn, etc. and that the only reason for their defeat was that they faced THREE trolls instead of one).

The same happens again with the wargs in the plains…and then again with the goblins in the Misty Mountains. They’re captured fighting and then they fight their way non-stop over miles of subterranean scaffolding (what’s with all the wood in the goblin caves? The orcs sure don’t look much like carpenters to me…a major, glaring plot point to my eyes).

It’s as if Jackson decided, ‘well the film’s not really exciting enough’ or ‘it’s not visually stunning enough.’ It IS exciting enough, it IS a visual delight for the eyes, it DOES carry nuanced character development besides “we like to fight” (and I mean, JACKSON’s film has character nuance, in many ways more so than Tolkien’s book). Frankly, I found it boring and tedious…I found myself waiting for each elaborate fight sequence to end so that we could get to the next cool thing about Middle Earth…Rivendell, or Gollum’s cave, or the flight of the Eagles, or the house of Beorn or whatever.

Instead, I got long, empty minutes of elaborate sword fights. Yes, I get the point Mr. Jackson: your dwarves are really tough and quick to draw down on someone. Enough already.

HOWEVER…having gotten that gripe out of the way, I want to reiterate that I otherwise greatly enjoyed everything else in the film. Everything else was a delight and very much in the spirit of Tolkien’s most whimsical novel of Middle Earth: Radaghast and his rabbits, the White Orc and his albino warg, Elrond and his brethren in their mail (though why O why are there statues of warriors guarding the bridge to Rivendell? I don’t remember the elves celebrating their martial pride at the Last Homely House!), the Necromancer’s stronghold, the prelude/montage showing the sack and burning of Dale and Erebor. The music was good (though I sorely missed the goblins’ wicked songs!), tasteful and well-done, and as said, the whole film was quite beautiful. I am excited to see the next installment, and hope that we’ll continue visual feast as we see Mirkwood and the halls of the wood elves and Lake Town and all the rest.

But I also hope that there’ll be a lot less fighting. At least when it comes to fighting that is superfluous to an already excellent and entertaining story.

The Finality of the Play-Offs

Raiders of the Lost Ark may be the best action/adventure movie of all time. Even with the passage of time (30 years?!) the film is superb, with great sequences, well developed characters, and special effects that have lost none of their luster (perhaps because they didn’t rely on old-tech green screen techniques nor require stop-motion monsters). I was up till two or 2:20 in the morning last night watching the ol’ DVD and was astounded by the beauty of the thing: the cinematography, the writing/directing, the acting. There’s a lot to take away from a movie like Raiders…I’m sure that much of my interest in “pulp” fiction has to do with my exposure to this film at a young age.

Why was I watching Raiders at two in the morning? ’Cause it was going to be a long, sleepless night after yesterday’s Seahawks loss regardless. Plus I wasn’t done drinking.

I have often thought (and stated to people who cared) that it’s too bad someone has to lose these games…though generally only when it comes to games that didn’t involve my team. I mean, I would have had a little sympathy for Tony Gonzalez had the Seahawks sent him packing with yet another play-off loss on his resume...but certainly not enough that I would have traded a Seahawk win and a continuation of the team’s fairy tale season. Unlike a lot of locals who today were walking around spouting optimism about how great our team is going to be “next year,” I have no such delusions. Not anymore: I felt the same thing at the beginning of 2006 (after our Super Bowl loss) only to watch the team crumble year after year without ever making it back to the NFC Championship game again, let alone the Big Dance. Optimism for the future is bullshit when it comes to the NFL…ask Dan Marino about optimism. Or Donovan McNabb. Or even Peyton Manning. This year was special…surprisingly special due to a conspicuous lack of injuries and unexpected big plays and quite possibly some underestimation of our ability on the part of some opponents. Personally, I believe we were set-up well to run the table at the end…but we couldn’t close the deal in Atlanta. And while the Falcons might beat the Niners (who are favored by Vegas odds) I don’t think they can beat either of the teams left in the AFC. Not that they shouldn’t be given the opportunity to try, mind you…

Ugh. It’s just the unnerving FINALITY of the game that bites. The game ends and you wish it ended just a little differently. And they play the highlights on the news and ESPN and you’re watching, knowing what will happen, but hoping this time the re-play will show something different…and of course, it doesn’t. And no amount of wishing or venting or second-guessing or wild eyed gnashing of teeth is going to alter the outcome in the slightest. You’re just left with a result that comes up just a little short. Like the Titans missing the end zone by a yard in the Super Bowl.

Oh, and I know there are fans of other teams that will tell me to quit my bitching, that Seattle has little to complain about compared to, say, a Chicago Bears fan who watched their team start 7-1 and miss the play-offs despite ending with double-digit wins. I’m sure Buffalo Bills fans would trade their lot for ours, having missed the play-offs every year since realignment in 2002 whereas the Seahawks have been to the post-season seven times in the last eleven years; a veritable embarrassment of riches compared to most NFL teams.

And, hey, it’s only a sporting event…with all the real tragedy and death that’s happened in this country over the last few months, the loss of a football game and the end of a season is NOTHING by comparison. Let’s have a little perspective, here.

But for Yours Truly, who tends to get emotionally entangled in his passions with embarrassingly little effort, it’s still a tough one to swallow. I was having a hard time focusing on anything besides football the last couple weeks…well, apart from my boy, but certainly I was worthless for anything work-related. Heck, I made it a point to go see The Hobbit Saturday (more on that later) specifically to turn my football brain OFF for three hours the other day…and it was a much needed break.

So in a way (though it’s challenging to find a silver lining) I suppose it’s for the best that the ‘Hawks are going into the off-season. I will almost certainly be more productive with less investment in the outcome of the next couple weeks’ games. But it’s tough. I’m kind of a putz about these things.

[and one last Blood Bowl related side note: I ran a mock match Friday night between the Orkish ‘Hawks team and Skaven Falcons to see who would win and the game was TIED at the end of regulation…due in part to the rats scoring a last second TD on the final turn of the match that made it 2-2. The orks actually went into half-time with a 2-0 lead after a dominant first period (in a strange mirror opposite of the actual game) and kept the skaven from scoring until the final quarter (last four turns) of the game. However, I didn’t bother playing out the over-time period to a final end result because

A)     It was super-duper late (and I needed to get SOME sleep before a 24 hour stint of single-parenthood on Saturday), and

B)     I was a bit disgusted by the skavens’ ability to get behind the Seahawks secondary and tie it up in three turns and, frankly, was (superstitiously) afraid that an OT win in my Blood Bowl match might have some correspondence-voodoo effect on the actual outcome of the game. And I wasn’t confident in the orks ability to stop the rats if they won the coin toss and received the ball first.

Okay, that enough of that. I’m sure there’ll be more Blood Bowl silliness in the future, but right now I’m going to take a break from all football-related ANYthing. All apologies for my self-indulgence.]

Now, if you'll excuse me I see there's a new episode of Downton Abbey awaiting my attention.

; )

Yes, More Blood Bowl...

One of my New Year’s resolutions (to myself) for 2013 was to devote more time to the blog…in fact, I’ve got a whole strategy I’ve been working out in my head to enable regular posting. Of course, I haven’t yet implemented any of it, as things are still unsettled on the homefront due to child care woes, business travel, holiday “extravaganzas,” and all the usual headaches (taxes, clogged gutters, beagle ear infections, etc.). And, of course, football.

That’s of course football.

I have a much harder time concentrating/focusing on ANYthing during the football season, but especially if my team is doing well just because, well, ‘cause I’m a homer and a super-fan and have been since my parents got me a little Zorn #10 jersey many, many years ago (he was a QB for the Seahawks back in the 1970s). I never played football myself (that’s its own long, not-so-interesting story), and during the drought of the 1990s I did find myself rooting for the Cowboys on occasion (I shared the same height as Emmitt Smith), but I did continue to go to (at least a couple) Seahawks games every year, even through the bad years. That’s MY team, and the NFL is MY spectator sport…much more so than the NBA or the MLS or baseball.

[the World Cup, by the way, is an awesome show as well…my wife has made me as a big a fan of THAT tournament as I have made her of the Seahawks…however, I only get to watch it every four years and it’s a lot shorter than the 21 week NFL season]

So the Seahawks are doing pretty good this year, and I haven’t felt this good about the team since 2006 (when we discovered the loss of Hutch had rendered our running game garbage and the chance of a repeat Super Bowl appearance nigh impossible). And the way we’re playing defense, even on the road…I mean, we haven’t seen this kind of football since the 1980s in this town. We’ve almost always played good at home, of course (which is why the #12 jersey was the first one retired by the Seahawks, decades ago), but the feeling that we can play with ANY team, that we had a chance in ANY game, even away from Sea-Town…well, that’s something I haven’t felt since Dave Krieg was our QB. And while I still can’t quite bring myself to believe whole-heartedly (I’m not the kid I once was, but an old, jaded fan approaching middle age), I’m getting close to it. I can tell you this: I want to play Green Bay again. I like the play-off road ahead of us. For me, this is the perfect road to the championship, even though we have to play away from our home field advantage. Washington and Atlanta were the only NFC play-off teams we hadn’t had the chance to play (and beat) during the regular season…and Green Bay and Seattle deserve a rematch with regular referees. And it’s fine by me to have it on their turf...if the Pack can beat the Niners they’ll go back to the same seeding position (and homefield advantage) they would have had if they hadn’t lost in Seattle. That’s fitting. And personally, I’m not afraid to take ‘em on: the Seahawks are a better team now than they were when we faced Green Bay earlier.

But that’s putting the cart before the horse: we’ve got Atlanta to face.

In Blood Bowl terms, I’ve always seen the Falcons as a SKAVEN team. Partly it’s because they play in a domed stadium (generally signifying a nocturnal-type team); partly it’s because of monikers like “the Dirty Birds” or the stories of Jerry Glanville and his coaching style; partly it’s due to they’re explosive, fast-style of play on that fast-style turf of theirs. Julio Jones and Roddy White are speedy gutter runners (just as Neon Deion was when he played defense for them), and the ageless Tony Gonzalez is a storm vermin with the skills Pro, Catch, and Nerves of Steel…possibly with a +1 to AG (agility) and Leadership. “Matty Ice” is a thrower with both Strong Arm and Accurate…but does he have the Nerves of Steel? Has he acquired the Leadership skill? The lack of success in the play-offs would seem to indicate something is lacking…though in Blood Bowl terms, that could just be a lack of team re-rolls.

[on the other hand, perhaps his nickname just comes from the type of beer he enjoys]

The Seahawks will be bringing an ork team (sans wa-agh) to the Georgia Dome. Last Sunday’s match-up with the (pig-faced!) ork Redskins team settled the issue of which greenskin team is the best this year (no other ork teams remain in play-offs for either conference…at least by my reckoning). This week’s match-up will be a VERY different challenge from the last one. When orks scrum with skaven the match is generally decided by how many points the rats can put up before the trogs but ‘em in the dirt. We’ll see how that goes.

I admit, I’m not incredibly knowledgeable on the Falcons, but they’re team seems a little depleted this year from how “stocked” they were in previous seasons. They’ve lost pro-bowlers Mughelli and Weems, Brent Grimes is on injured reserve, and Michael Turner (another storm vermin) seems a bit diminished from his former stout self. Tyson Clabo is still playing on the O-line, but John Abraham hurt his ankle in the last game of the season (though with two weeks to heal, he should be ready to go). And the Falcons still have their real weapons: Jones, White, and Gonzalez. Will that be enough? They dropped their last game of the season (at home!) to division rival Bucs, even though they were playing their starters (?!). The Bucs are a Chaos Dwarf team, similar to an orkish one (though not as versatile), so perhaps that’s a good sign for the Seahawks. They ARE beatable at home...but then nearly all NFL teams this year (the sole exception being that little team up in the Pacific Northwest).

But it’s the play-offs: I’m sure Atlanta will be bringing their “A-Game.” They ARE favored to win the game…though not by much.

Personally, I have a feeling the Atlanta-Seattle game will be a blow-out…though I’m not sure which team will be blowing out the other. But that’s how a real Blood Bowl game between an ork-skaven match usually goes…either the skaven put up 5 or 6 touchdowns, or there’s a big pile of dead rats in the casualty box and the orks are walking it in for easy scores. Last week’s game looked like a typical ork match-up (close, tight, and scrappy) for most of the game…we’ll see if the trend holds.

Just for fun, here’s the way I’d write up this year’s Seahawks as a (3^rd edition) Blood Bowl team. It’s tough because BB teams are only allowed 16 players on their roster (and those players go both ways) and the positions are more limited. For some roster spots, this means “doubling-up” players, but not all (for example, Brandon Mebane and Red Bryant have fairly interchangeable skill sets, while Marshawn Lynch and Russell Wilson are unique characters). Still, I’ve given it my best (and a fairly modest) shot:

#3 Russell Wilson (goblin*): add Block, Pass, Leader, Strong Arm

#15 Matt Flynn (thrower)

#18 Sidney Rice (goblin): add MA +1, AG +1, Catch, Sprint

#24 Marshawn Lynch (blitzer): add ST +1, Break Tackle, Dauntless, Sure Hands

#25 Richard Sherman (blitzer): add MA +1, Catch, Dauntless, Pass Block

#29 Earl Thomas (goblin): add MA +1, ST +1, Block, Catch, Pass Block

#51 Bruce Irvin (blitzer): add MA +1, Mighty Blow

#60 Max Unger (black ork blocker): add Block, Pro, Stand Firm

#76 Russell Okung (black ork blocker): add ST +1, Block, Stand Firm

#39/31 Browner/Chancellor (blitzer): add Mighty Blow, Pass Block

#50/54 Wright/Wagner (line ork): add Block, Pro, Tackle

#86/26 Miller/Robinson (line ork): add Block, Catch

#89/81 Baldwin/Tate (goblin): add Catch, Diving Catch, Nerves of Steel

#91/68 Clemmons/Giacomini (black ork blocker): add Block, Dirty Player**, Tackle

#99/79 Branch/Bryant (black ork blocker): add Block, Tackle

#4/9 Ryan/Hauschka (line ork): add Kick

*I understand it may seem unkind to label Wilson a goblin instead of a thrower; clearly he is a tough individual despite his diminutive height. However, his speed and elusiveness goes more with the goblin skill set (including Dodge and Stunty, i.e. the “Fran Tarkenton skill set”). Give him Sure Hands if you like (the only Thrower skill he’s lacking).

**I don’t mean to imply Clemmons or Giacomini are DIRTY players, but they are big strong guys who have (during the season) drawn more than their fair share of penalties: Clemmons for roughing passers (ouch!) and Breno because…well, ‘cause he’s kind of a dirtbag o-lineman with a mean streak. But, hey, sometimes you want a dirt bag or two on your team.

; )

All right, that’s enough for now…fun little waste o time that it was. I’d encourage other Blood Bowl/NFL enthusiasts to stat up their own favorite teams and play a few games. Don’t get cute: yes, Rogers, Manning, and Brady probably have six or seven skills, but even multiple pro-bowlers probably don’t have more than 4 or 5 skills, unless they’re destined for Hall of Fame greatness.

[mmm…one more thing: I really do hope RG3 recovers okay from his injury. I know it doesn’t look too good, but he IS young and those young bodies heal a lot better than the old ones. Certainly, no one wants to see the man’s career end before it’s really begun…even his competition. The good news, I suppose, is the bionic rebuilds possible with 21^st century medicine (see Adrian Peterson). My stats for those two rebuilt stars:

#10 Robert Griffin III (Washington Redskins; team type: ORK)

Thrower: Add MA +2, AG +1, Side-Step

#28 Adrian Peterson (Minnesota Vikings; team type: GOBLIN)

Goblin: Add MA +2, ST +1, AG +1, Side-Step, Sprint, Sure Hands

Note: serious injuries (which in Blood Bowl can sometimes lead to a reduction in stat lines) are only taken into account with noticeable reduction in player effectiveness. The fact that A.P. (excuse me, "A.D.") can run for 2000+ yards in a season indicates NO noticeable drop-off in effectiveness). We’ll have to wait and see how RG3 recovers.]

Orks on Orks

Some folks may have been surprised at my lack of Seahawks/NFL/Blood Bowl posts of late. Rest assured...I am aware of what's going on in the world of American football.

In fact, I'm a little busy today. I may have some words to say after the conclusion of "Wild Card Weekend" but it may not be till tomorrow, depending on my relative sobriety.

Go 'Hawks!

Clashing Kings

It was  mistake to bring George R.R. Martin's Clash of Kings to Mexico with me. To enthralling to put down (his writing technique of multiple narratives keeps you page turning, even when one story arc begins to bore you) I've spent all my free moments reading, rather than writing, as I'd initially planned. Not that I've had much "free" time mind you (there's still been a lot of eating and drinking and celebrating and relatives and church-going and dancing and fiestas and whatnot), but fast as I read, it still takes me awhile to get through a thousand page book. And I have gotten through it (a bit before breakfast, while the house was sleeping)...which means I'll have nothing to read on the plane ride home.

[and I probably won't be writing much, either. The problem with flying with a nearly-two-year old is he's close enough to you, and knowledgeable enough, to hit the keys on your laptop...and really enjoys hitting that big, round power button. Besides which, the wife would appreciate a little help entertaining the child; pulling out a fat novel to read once they've both fallen asleep isn't too tough, but pulling out one's laptop and sheaf of notes is a whole 'nother deal]

And today's our last full day in sunny Orizaba. Tomorrow is New Year's Day and we'll be spending it getting to the D.F. to fly back to Seattle, perhaps with a meal or two along the way. Still, it's possible I might get a few pages done tonight after everyone's asleep...heck, I can sleep on planes, no problem...but as I'll be back at the day job come Wednesday I want to have at least some semblance of restfulness.

Or not, I guess...I'll probably be spending most of the time listening to the sports talk radio about the upcoming Seahawks play-off game while checking email. Ah, yes..our cushy 21st century lifestyle.

You know, it's one thing to fantasize or read about or role-play in a medieval-type world of kings and peasants and all that jazz, but the "simple life" sure sounds a lot harder than anything I'd like to experience. Even in Mexico (which still hasn't climbed into the "first world" tier) people have smart phones and iPods and DVDs and big screens and (spotty) internet access...all the comforts of our post-modern world, plus fresh produce and excellent platillos.

Then again, it may be I'm just a bit bummed by the depth and breadth of Mr. Martin's fantasy world. It's a very cool setting, richly textured, and mired in all sorts of drama, intrigue, and adventure, not to mention a fairly classy handling of the supernatural ("fantasy") elements. It's difficult to imagine ever coming up with a coherent "pseudo-medieval" fantasy setting...for fiction or role-playing...that wouldn't end up looking like a poor version of Martin. Or worse, a pastiche-y knock-off. At least if you're interested in, say, D&D with courts and lords (Companion-level stuff) and not just dungeon delving.

That's the thing that irks me, I guess. I could draw a lot of inspiration from Martin's books for use in a high level (or "non-traditional") D&D campaign, but it would all feel, well, like I was ripping off the master. Or doing something half-assed in comparison. A bit like trying to create a dungeon environment that didn't feel like, in some way, a rip-off of a Tolkien setting...whether we're talking the goblin caves or the Mines of Moria or the Misty Mountain or Shelob's lair or the Nazgul's tower or Morgoth's dungeon (from The Silmarilion), etc. So many great static environments plumbed by "adventurers" in the Tolkien books, it's hard not to draw at least somewhat from them (as much fantasy does) when designing adventure sites.

Anyhoo, I suppose I'm being silly...just because I can't think of anything better, doesn't mean someone else can't.  More on this later, perhaps...I've got more eating to do.

Happy New Year, folks!
: )

The End Is Nigh

For those who may not have heard, some of us have been counting down the days of the Mayan tzolkin calendar, waiting to see what tremendous Earth changes may or may not be wrought when we hit zero hour. Being a long-time studier of astrology (including mesoamerican astrology), Edgar Cayce, Graham Hancock, and other non-traditional historians (commonly called quacks, fakers, and whack-jobs), I am all about counting down our final hours. Fact is, I've had a timer counting down our final hours on the ol' Blackrzor blog (bottom o the page) since I first started this thing a couple-three years ago.

Welp, today is the final day of the Mayan "long count" epoch..."4 Flower" in the uinal that started with 11 Alligator some twenty days ago (why doesn't the final count down end in a 13 Flower? No idea, just one of those mysteries of the mesoamerican numbering system). Not that it matters too much...I mean any of it. I've blogged before about the possibility of great "Earth Changes" including what I feel is the main things with which to concern ourselves (hint: it has to do with being kind to each other as much as possible...even people with whom you don't necessarily agree).

Anyhoo, tomorrow will see the dawning of a new epoch (I figure to go by midnight, Yucatan time), and I will be celebrating by getting into Mexico City very early in the morning with my family (I'm typing this from a Dallas airport computer while awaiting my connecting flight) and heading east towards Veracruz. No, not because I plan on taking part in any New Age-y mesoamerican celebration, but simply the traditional Christmas-with-family-and-in-laws celebration. And for those of us who can (hard as it might be) get beyond the coming Seahawks-Forty-Niners showdown in Seattle on Sunday, I think the most important thing for us ALL to do on the edge of this great cosmic changeover is to remember the Real Meaning of the Christmas Holiday.

No, not Jesus's birthday. Jesus was a Pisces, dude. I'll post his horoscope sometime.

No, the real deal with regard for Christmas can be found in its "heathen" roots as a mid-winter celebration...the 21st (or thereabouts) generally being the proverbial "longest night off the year." What midwinter celebrates is (guess what?) the night's start getting shorter thereafter, as we start that slow upward climb out off darkness and back to the Spring. It is a time of renewal (and often Yule-time booze), and we'd do well to consider how, no matter how dark the darkness gets, there always comes a light evetually...hopefully, a light that brings great joy and love to everyone.

Here's to hoping. Feliz Navidad, folks. I'll try to write more from Mexico...assuming the holidays grant me a little free time for writing.
: )

[P.S. Go 'Hawks!]

Fucking Assholes

So, yes, I've been busy lately (duh). I won't bore you terribly with the details: traveling to Canada and back, sickness, traveling to D.C. (the "other Washington") and back, "single parent duty," working the job-type-job, Seahawks, beagles, etc. In all honesty, I went into work this morning thinking I'd write up a list of 10 or 20 space opera themed post topics for the next couple weeks, probably beginning with a book I picked up at The Newseum in our nation's capital, Darth Vader and Son. But I never quite got around to it. Mainly 'cause some fucking asshole decided to kill close to 30 fellow humans in Connecticut today, including a score of kindergartners.

2012 has been a "banner year" for this kind of bullshit, and frankly I'm sick of it. Back in April a young woman (age 21) who'd just moved to Seattle for culinary school was hit by a stray bullet in downtown Seattle and killed instantly. In May, a 43 year old software developer was killed by a random bullet while driving his family around town...a random bullet meant for someone else. Later that same month, a man from Ellensburg shot (and killed) four people in a Seattle cafe, before shooting (and killing) a random woman near Town Hall and taking her SUV. He later took his own life when police found and cornered him.

The shooting spree at the Batman movie over the summer actually prompted my wife to suggest that we not expose our child to "violent" superhero characters; as if anything about Batman would inspire a person to commit random acts of murder. A professional football player making piles of cash put nine bullets in the young mother of his own child before putting a bullet in his own head a couple weeks ago. Then, of course, there was the shooting last week in an Oregon shopping mall that claimed the lives of three people and injuring another. As with the football player, the cafe shooter in May, and the asshole from today, one of the lives claimed was his own.

And today...words cannot express how awful this tragedy is. I have nightmare thoughts sometimes about what it would be like to outlive my child...for anything to happen to him, sweet innocent that he is. And tonight, there are the parents of 20 young children who are going through their own personal hell because of something so horrific, I never even imagined it as a possibility. I mean, what kind of fucking asshole does that?

And yet he's dead. The killer is dead. All those Republicans out there who support capital punishment (i.e. the "death penalty") should be happy that justice was "self-served," right? Hell, the guy saved the tax payers a ton of money on trials and prosecution and prison housing and mental institutions, etc. I mean, that gives all those grieving family members the closure they need right?

Bullshit.

Same with the asshole that offed himself in Seattle. Or the asshole that played for the Chiefs. Or the asshole that offed himself in the mall in Oregon. The asshole from the Aurora, Colorado movie theater massacre has been trying to off himself in jail, but probably won't manage to do so before the state does it for him (Colorado continues to carry the death penalty and performed it's last state execution in 1997...I'm guessing the asshole that killed 12 people who just wanted to watch a popcorn action flick...including a six-year old child...will get the lethal injection, too). They're all reaping their "justice" and the grieving families of the victims will continue to grieve in sorrow. Because they are still suffering from the loss of their loved ones and have no good answers to their main question: "Why?"

Why has this happened? Why has it happened to us? Why has it happened to our loved ones? What is the thing we did...in this life or a past one...to deserve this horror, this tragedy? Why was this murderer such an asshole? Why does our "great society" continue to produce these assholes? Why are they able to do what they do?

And of course, when these questions cannot be answered the next ones asked are "What could we have done to prevent this?" "What could we have done to protect ourselves?" "What can we do in the future to ensure this never, ever happens again?"

Get rid of the guns.

I hate guns. I fucking loathe guns. I, quite literally, cannot stand the touch or feel of guns...when I've held handguns before (a .45; a Glock), I dropped 'em like a live grenade.  Like a poisonous snake. Like something violently designed to do harm...to kill...which is exactly what guns are designed to do. They are not designed to be a "neutral tool." They are not manufactured to open stubborn locks or drill holes in a wall for your cable wire. They are created with the purpose of ending life. And they are very, very good at it. Our centuries of technological development have seen vast improvements in this area.

Now, I too have heard that old chestnut about how "guns don't kill people, people kill people," and that's certainly true for the most part...usually, a gun only kills a human when it is pointed at someone and the trigger is pulled by another human. The common argument I hear is that a person with a "will to kill" will find a way to do it, even if he lacks access to a firearm.

And to that I say this: If the asshole in Connecticut had not had access to automatic weapons and large capacity firearms that were purchased legally...if he had instead, say, been forced to use a hunting knife or a ball-peen hammer to do his dirty work...how many people do you think he would have actually managed to kill before he was stopped? How many of the six adults at the elementary school would he have bludgeoned to death before being dragged down and pummeled unconscious? How many children would he have been able to chase down and effectively stab to death before someone clocked him or the police showed up?

The thing that allowed this asshole to inflict the death and suffering on such a horrific scale was his access to guns. That's it...we don't know how many bullets were fired, how many magazines were expended, how many misses were chalked up before his bullets found their victims. But the ability to shoot and shoot and shoot with deadly speed and range and traumatic impact is what allows an asshole to go from "disgruntled crazy guy" to a mass slayer of innocence. It's what turned simple murder into massacre.

The Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution states:

A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

So carry a goddamned sword.

I'm serious; I'm sick of it. The idea that prohibiting the citizenry from owning firearms is going to somehow keep a reign on our country becoming a tyranny or military dictatorship is just loony-tunes. If the U.S. military ever decides to stage a coup and take over, we as a people are royally screwed, regardless of whether or not Joe Citizen has an assault rifle in his gun locker. Back in the 18th century, the British soldiers and the American colonists were armed with the same gear: muskets, sabers, cannon. Have you seen what our military is packing these days? Smart bombs and drones fighters, RPGs and mortars, armored fighting vehicles and stealth bombers and .50 caliber machine guns and nuclear attack subs. Having an assault rifle or hand gun in your possession isn't going to allow you to wage revolution, should all hell break loose. Didn't you folks see the armed "insurrection" in Iraq? You know, back when we invaded their country? Their militia (or freedom fighters or guerillas or whatever you want to call them) didn't stand a chance...we just bombed cities flat to quell resistance. And the same would happen here if there was a citizen uprising in the face of martial law backed up by our U.S. war machine.

The 2nd Amendment is something the NRA hides behind because they don't want anyone telling 'em what they can and can't do. And I can understand that...I don't like being told what to do either. If I'm a smoker, how dare my state pass a law that prohibits smoking inside any public building...what if I own the building and want it to be a smoking establishment? How dare the government tell me what I can and can't do with my own property and my own business? What the heck gives them the right to say I have to stand 25 feet away from a bus shelter (in the rain) to light up a smoke?

I'll tell you what gives them the right: the invested authority of the government by the people to protect its own citizens. Smoking causes great harm. If you want to smoke cigarettes (and slowly kill yourself in the process) that's your business, but you'll not be allowed to inflict cancer on others...even inadvertently...with your second hand smoke. Even if you're always careful to blow your smoke the opposite direction. Your "personal rights" are being "infringed" so that others' rights (to life, in this case) isn't being infringed.

You may have the right to "pursue happiness" but not if exercising that right means stealing someone else's car stereo to buy your crank.

So infringe our goddamned personal rights already: get rid of the guns. They're existence in the hands of ordinary (i.e. non-military, non-law enforcement) folks only causes harm.

[jeez...forgot about that 16 year old kid shot dead by the "citizen watch" asshole in Florida]

Sure, that's going to seem unfair to folks who are well-adjusted, trained in the use of firearms, and capable of keeping their guns under lock-and-key when not on the target range. But it's for the greater good, people. I can drive my car just fine after drinking enough to put me over the "legal limit," but that law (and limit) exists for very good reason. This whole "right to the gun" thing IS the main issue here. It is the presence, and prevalence, of guns in our society that makes it one where "death by gun" has the highest rate of any first world country.

If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.

Apparently law enforcement doesn't count? Look, at this point, I'm willing to have that line be the case...especially if it makes it more difficult for the assholes of the world (these "quiet, shy" types who have no problems passing their screenings and then go batshit crazy) to acquire the means of inflicting such terrible, terrible tragedy. These perpetrators of massacre aren't knocking over convenience stores and robbing banks...they are simply going into public places and pulling the trigger as fast as they can.

This is awful, awful shit...truly, truly terrible and my heart is bleeding for the families and friends of ALL these gun victims that continue to accrue. You may think it strange that a guy who plays and writes violent role-playing games (especially ones that involve firearms) would be so "anti-gun," but I have long held the opinion and stance that the ONLY place an ordinary person should be able to "play with guns" should be in fiction: books, movies, video games, RPGs. I've always enjoyed violent fiction, and it hasn't turned me into any type of serial killer. These fucking assholes that are killing people are profoundly disturbed individuals looking for an outlet of violence (perhaps they don't have enough fiction in their lives) and would be doing so regardless of exposure to violent media images.

The best thing we can do is take the guns out of hands...limit the harm they can perpetrate.

Tonight, my prayers are with the families of today's victims. I really do wish I could offer more to them. Hopefully, they will find the strength in their hearts to persevere through this time of trial. For them, their "end of days" must truly feel like it's upon them. I hope sane heads in our government will see this issue and problem for what it is and work to ensure a tragedy like this can never again occur.

Pax.