H is for Halberd of Hilarious Heckling.
A halberd is treated as a standard B/X pole arm with respect to damage, price, encumbrance, and two-handedness. The halberd of hilarious heckling is no different, save for its magical abilities: it is semi-intelligent and possessed of a mean-spirited and (at times) ribald sense of humor. Like an intelligent sword, the weapon possesses the power of speech, and it is through its speech...specifically its sardonic wit...that its magic is made manifest.
Upon entering combat, the halberd begins to speak. Specifically, it begins to taunt and ridicule its wielder's opponents. The halberd of hilarious heckling speaks all 20 languages listed on page B13 of the Moldvay Basic set, as well as "common" and the various giant languages, and it's merciless in its jeers and japes, making sure its barbs don't sail over the heads of the slower-witted members of a species.
(it should be understood that the DM, playing the halberd as a NPC, is not required to actually create insults or put-downs...the halberd's antics are best left to the imagination of the gaming table)
The effect of this heckling is to rile up opponents into a fever pitch. NPC opponents will attack with berserk, ferocious abandon, receiving a +1 bonus to their attack rolls while simultaneously suffering a -2 penalty to AC and saving throws as they neglect to defend themselves (PCs and NPC adventurers and leader-types are allowed a save versus spells to keep their tempers cool and their wits focused). Additionally, NPCs on the same side as the wielder of the halberd of hilarious heckling have their own Morale score boosted by +2 (maximum 11), as the weapon's behavior keeps their own spirits high and their mood lighter...they find they can't help but smile, even in the face of death.
When not in combat, the halberd of hilarious heckling refuses to talk at all, and attempts to speak directly with the weapon elicit nothing but a loud snoring sound.
|You don't want to hear what it has to say|
about your mother.