Sunday, February 28, 2016

Driven To Drink

I have no internet. This is shitty.

I am currently writing on an iPhone at a restaurant while drinking a too sweet martini and listening to a Karen Carpenter song I don't recognize (though her voice is unmistakable). I am waiting for a pizza (to go) while my children hang at home with a $20 sitter and my wife is in Mexico.

I have a lot of stuff I've been meaning to blog but the lack of 'net access makes it pretty inconvenient. Some days I really hate this country. The f'ing fireworks. The 7" lizard hiding in my kitchen (not counting its tail). Ants in the cereal. No peanut butter. Terrible martinis...though this one's still kicking my ass despite the taste.

[oh...George Michael. I know this one]

I am taking a couple minutes for myself. I am a terrible patent and will pay for it someday...karma is inevitable. I miss true "rule of law." I will be finally, FINALLY back in the U.S. in August. I've only been here for years.

The new book is nearly written. I should have had three done in the time I've been here.

Just got the bill. The martini cost more than the pizza. The pizza was under $10. That's actually accurate value here...and it's one of the very very few places that can cook a decent pizza crust (not "good" but edible).

It has been a long day; a medium long week. The lack of blog access has allowed me to focus on writing, but I really don't have the time (at the moment) to go into that. Tomorrow is a school, no hirelings, and the wife is out of the country. Another long one. For those unfamiliar with Paraguay, it's the birthday of Mariscal ("Marshal" "field marshal") Lopez. Actually his birthday is 3/1 but they wanted a 3-day holiday. Mariscal Lopez was a total asshole that wrecked his country for circa 80 years by initiating a war with three countries and not stopping until 90% of the male Paraguayan population was dead. He died, too...shot by a river where he was hiding. Did I mention he was stupid? And rich, privileged, and arrogant. But most people don't know this...they believe the propaganda of the ruling party who co-opted Lopez as their symbol a few decades back...that he was "willing to fight to the death for his country."

Sometimes I have a very un-Christian attitude towards Paraguay,

Lionel Ritchie is singing about how he's "easy like Sunday morning." He wants to be high. He wants to be free. I empathize Lionel. Maybe I should go see you in concert when you're her March 3rd (playing at the Asuncion Yacht Club...I have no idea where the rich fucks of this town sail their yachts...on the river?).

My martini's gone. They gave me four olives; no toothpick. I've got to go. I'm hoping the internet's back up this week. There's lots of game-related stuff I want to blog about.



  1. Hang in there JB. While I can only say that in total ignorance of your situation, I am glad to here another book is forth coming. And tell Lionel I said hello.

  2. Sorry to hear how things are going...Hopefully things will get better soon. Looking forward to your blogs as usual. :-)

  3. Astonishing that anyone in Paraguay still reveres Lopez. On the other hand, we still have Columbus Day...

  4. Dont know what your bitch is but short of no longer having ms word, a laptop links to a phone and you can internet all you like.

  5. Dont know what your bitch is but short of no longer having ms word, a laptop links to a phone and you can internet all you like.

  6. Seriously. Link phone to laptop and internet as you like.

  7. JB . . . welcome to the onset of early PTSD.

  8. Hang in there! (insert cute kitten picture here)