Friday, July 10, 2015

Drinking and Stinking

I have very little time to blog. I'm sure of it. Very little time before my infant (she's 14 months now, so a bit older than a baby) wakes herself up again and needs to be put back to sleep again. This has been the drill every 20 minutes to an hour, for the last three nights or so. Problem is, the wife is sick as a dog, too, so if I don't do it, she stays sick. Problem is, she's over-worked and not getting better fast anyway. Ugh.

So, I have enough time to knock out a quick blog post, check the Mariners feed on my phone (losing again...just gave up a 3-run dinger to make it 6-1. Terrible), and down another glass of wine. Because if I've got to be up all night putting the baby back to sleep, I might as well be drinking.

Ope! That was almost it! A cough and a cry, but she managed to roll over without waking up (I am downstairs). I better work fast on this wine. Had half a bottle tonight at dinner (the other half shared between my wife and mother-in-law...sitter with the kids, but SHE can't put the kids to sleep. Nope). Thought about the Pope. Did not get a selfie, but sat about 10 yards away (five rows back), while he spoke. He looks like Jason Robards. He looks like just a man...or, I suppose, like any other Catholic priest. He has a quiet humility, but mostly I just sensed exhaustion from the guy. It must be exhausting...the endless festivals in your honor, having to press the flesh, the crush of millions of people trying to see you, touch you, yell out to you, everywhere you go. He's here for five days and the government's been planning his trip for half a year. It's like this no matter where he goes.

Just a man. My mother-in-law touched him as he got into his Pope-Mobile to drive away. She's Mexican, a lifelong Catholic of the conservative Latin American variety. Seeing him up close and personal was as big as seeing any favorite rock star, but he didn't sing. He Spanish, so I didn't understand him. But my wife will get me a copy of the transcript (being in media, she's had for a couple days) so I can translate it. She said she felt a sense of peace hearing him. Having him here was good for the president of Paraguay, which is good because he's good for the country and he needs all the help he can get. But you folks aren't interested in South American politics.

Most people just seem like people when you get up close to them. I saw Barac Obama up close and personal at a (lightly attended) rally during his campaign for his first presidency. The man has a riveting presence and dynamic speaking ability. Charisma, I guess you could call it. On the other hand, I've met rock stars who were quite underwhelming...Jerry Cantrell was so unassuming as to be easily forgettable even as I sat next to him (drinking) at a bar. I've watched Barysnikov perform in a small, black box theater in Seattle (in his twilight years, doing experimental dance, though he still had moves) and you could still sense the power in the man. The old man.

There's that cough cry this time. Better hurry with the drink. Check the score: 7-1 now, top of the 8th, and we're on our second reliever. Throwing balls, c'mon Beimel, get it together! Our all too human bullpen.

A cry. Another cry. She's up. Got to go.

Huh, that actually went extremely fast...fastest ever, perhaps. A little acoustic Toad the Wet Sprocket, and she's back to sleep in under five minutes. That is truly a record. Might need a little more wine to celebrate.

Mariners just got out of the 8th (stranding two A's on base); still down six runs at home. Our team is THE WORST team in the MLB with runners in scoring position. A couple days ago we went 0-14 with RISP...that is God awful. I might have to have a little more wine for the M's, too.

Humans are human. Carrie Fisher is 5'1"...that's shorter than my wife. Many professional athletes are gigantic human beings and physically imposing, but most of them cannot sing or dance. Speaking of "athletes" (I use the term loosely): the M's just went down 1-2-3 to end the 8th. That included Robinson Cano ($24 million per year!) and Nelson Cruz ($14+ million per year). They are both 1 for 4 tonight. How can someone make over $10 million dollars per year to fail 75% of the time? Well, only 70% in Cruz's case (he's batting .304...unfortunately, we're still six games under .500, about to be seven).

Pope Francisco (Mr. Robards) is a normal man. A quiet man, certainly a tired man. But I wouldn't call him "dynamic" or "charismatic" (and certainly not "physically imposing"). I don't suppose he was elected "Pope" to be those things...but he IS a symbol of the Church, and the closest thing to a living Christ figure in the hearts (and minds!) of Catholics all over the world. Sunday Mass is going to be in a muddy field with a projected half million people (certainly more...1.5 million have crossed over from Argentina this week to see His Holiness as it is). Woodstock had 400,000 people. I happen to know there will only be 400 portable toilets at the event, and the Powers-That-Be are aware of the woeful insufficiency of this. They're just not telling anyone.

He's just a man in a fancy outfit with a fancy car and a fancy plane. He's Batman without the utility belt or the burning desire to bring justice to criminals. I should be writing about Batman and not the Pope, but I'm drinking and I don't really have time to do anything other than cheap thoughts. It's the bottom of the 9th and Mark Trumbo has (apparently) hit a home run shot to score two runs (Seager was on base after being hit by a pitch). The score is 7-3 and Jesus Montero has just come up to the plate...he was sent down to the minor leagues last year after showing up spring training over-weight and out-of-shape. His excuse? "I wasn't doing nothing, just eating." A Mariners scout was fired last year after provoking Montero into a fight by sending him an ice cream sandwich to him in the dugout.  This is his first game back at the Major League level since being sent down and he's 1 for 3 tonight.

Oh, wait...we're sending in a pinch-hitter. LoMo (Logan Morrison)...which is a funny nickname since both lomo (a cut of steak) and lomito (a steak sandwich) are staples of Paraguay cuisine. LoMo just struck out. The M's traded pitcher Michael Pineda to the Yankees for Jesus Montero. Pineda is a 9-5 starter with a 3.64 ERA. The Mariners are a dumpster fire.

After LoMo struck out, Mike Zunino struck out (he's batting .165...not good) and then Dustin Ackley was a quick fly out (he's batting .222...not good). Both these guys were top draft picks (Ackley #2 over all for his year). Zunino can at least catch, but both are black holes in the line up.

Mariners lose again. Drink.

Ope...there's the baby crying! Got to go!


Okay, she's not going to sleep. At least not easy. So I'm going to have to drain my glass and cut this conversation short. Good night, folks.

Man, I'm exhausted, too.


  1. ". He Spanish, so I didn't understand him" ...uh wait a minute,where you living again?

    1. @JD:

      My Spanish is terrible and the guy speaks softly and with an Argentine accent.

    2. I understand Spansh better than I speak it so it leads to humorous situations, I probably sound like the equivalent of Latka from Taxi (hows that for an old guy reference). You're even braver than I thought living as you do.

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    5. Throughout my university years I was surrounded by people who took Spanish classes, studied Spanish as a major (my ex-girlfriend), or worked on their Spanish fluency to speak with relatives in Eastern Washington. I boycotted the entire language saying "Why would I ever want to travel South of the Border?"

      Then I met my wife who is from Mexico.

      I can speak better than I understand, but I've always been a better talker than listener. However, dialect always throws a monkey-wrench in things. My wife is fluent in English, but she has difficulty understanding accents from the Southern U.S. and the United Kingdom. Heck, she has difficulty understanding Paraguayanos one-third the time. And Argentines talk like Italians speaking Spanish.

      Anyway...I can get by most of the time. The rest of the time I fake it.
      ; )

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  3. "Humans are human. Carrie Fisher is 5'1"...that's shorter than my wife."

    this made me laugh. :D