"Dear JB" Mailbag #4

[received some positive feedback on this series, so I'll just continue as I gradually empty out the ol' trash emails. I have to say that some of these...especially some of the comments...have STRONGLY TEMPTED me to break my longstanding "No Interaction With Reddit" policy. However, I have...so far...managed to hold firm]

Dear JB:

My friend group has recently gotten into D&D and I took on the mantle of DMing. I have run a series of 1 shots for the table and we're trying out a little campaign to see how it goes. So far I have maybe run 7-8 games total between 1 shots and the campaign since fall 2024, and still am quite new obviously and have to pause to look up rules here and there.

On two different occasions the same player has not told me the ruling on a spell, swinging the fight wildly in his favor. On the first instance he kept using a spell that required concentration, and didn't tell me that it required concentration, nor did he mention it when he was hit multiple times. On the second occasion he used a spell that hindered my big boss creature useless, and didn't tell me until the last round of combat that the boss could have been making saves to escape.

I trust the other players to tell me the full spell effect, as we are all learning, but I get the sense that this player is holding the information back intentionally. On both instances I have asked what the spell does when he casts it, but that info was left out.

Is this on me as a DM to learn the spells more quickly to rule things better, or should the player be accountable for things like remembering concentration checks or telling me that creatures can escape his spells? In both instances I learned what the spells have done and am ruling them correctly since.

While I know I could look the spells up, asking what they did was trying to accomplish that same thing as the players have them written down.

Either way, we are having fun and growing in our understanding of the game as a group which is lovely :)

 

My Mistake Or Cheating?

Dear MMOC:

You are the Dungeon Master. You are responsible for what happens at the table. This is ENTIRELY on YOU.

As the DM for the game, it is your role to be arbiter of the rules and your responsibility to understand and know those rules...and it is imperative that YOU know the rules at least as well as your players. At many tables, the DM will be the person with the most knowledge of the game system being played...but, of course, for a new DM there is always a period of learning that goes on when you must search up rules and references, slowing down play. That's all part of the process, and ALL of us who act as DM has had to go through it to one degree or another.  Hell, I've been playing for more than 40 years and I still have to look up spell and monster and magic item descriptions to check durations or job my memory about some game effect or other.  

For most DMs, this NEVER GOES AWAY. The main difference between me and you, is that A) I've committed huge heaps of the rules to memory, and B) my ability to search out, find, and reference needed information is much, much faster (based on years of experience). But unless you have eidetic memory, I'd doubt anyone's ability to run ANY edition of D&D "book free." You can make and use cheat sheets (I do this), but mainly you just have to accept that D&D is a complex game and you are only human.

Your player may be a nefarious conniver or he may be an idiot newbie or me have been completely innocent; regardless, none of that matters. What matters is YOU shirking your responsibility, YOU being lazy, YOU not taking the time to read and reference the spells being used in the game and instead relying on your player to do your job for you.  THAT is the issue, MMOC. The only thing the players have (some) authority over is their own character...everything else is in the hands of the Dungeon Master. When you delegate away knowledge (as you did here) you undermine your own authority...the authority that is the very foundation of a functional game. There is no game without a Dungeon Master. Even individuals who play the game solo (yes, there is such a thing as solo D&D play) are simply acting as their own Dungeon Master. 

Without the foundational stability of a DM's authority...an authority that comes from both knowledge of the game and the trust of the players...that campaign will inevitably collapse. 

Fortunately, your game is new enough that it shouldn't be too difficult regain control of the situation. Learn the rules of the game. Study the rules of the game. Pay especial attention to rules that pertain to the player characters (class abilities, spells) and circumstances most pertinent to your game. Make yourself a subject matter expert...and in-play give yourself the time and patience to look up the odd rule or system that you can't recall. That way you can exercise your authority based on actual knowledge of the game and build the trust in your players that you're willing and able to do the work.

Sincerely,

JB