Anti-Influence

Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind.

I deleted my "X" account yesterday. I still have the FB account but I only look at every few months and haven't posted to it in years. I have a few discords I'm subscribed to, but except for the Cauldron one, I'm only checking those to see if people are direct messaging me. I'm kind of off televised news, though I keep tabs on major things going on in the world via NYT and the BBC. 

And my wife, of course...she's required to follow all the news as part of her job.

I have an...hmm..."odd" relationship with the ChatGPT AI (or "Oz," as I like to call it). I bounce ideas off it and dredge it for collecting and collating data that I can use for my own purposes. There are some things it does well, and some things that it doesn't. It ain't good at formulating creative ideas from whole cloth...for example, it is shit at adventure design. But with the right inputs and management, it can help critique, point out flaws, or suggest strategies for things I'm working on. It can also draw from a fairly wide swath of information floating around the internet and collate/collect that in one place for my own use. It's "word association" abilities are extremely powerful: for instance, it is VERY good at doing natal astrological interpretations (something I studied/practiced extensively in the past), even including things like Jeff Green's Pluto work, astrocartography, and hooking it up with various alternative forms of self-analysis (Mesoamerican astrology, Chaldean numerology, etc.). That biz is...so far as I can discern...already rendered obsolete by our digital oracle.

Of course, it can also do blog posts with the proper prompts...here's a version of my Q1 post from the other day, entirely generated by Oz to my specifications (including my own, slightly combative, style):

The Demonweb Ain’t Broke: In Defense of Q1 

Let’s get this out of the way up front: Q1: Queen of the Demonweb Pits is not a broken module. It is not a clumsy capstone. It is not some Blume‐butchered disappointment. It is, in fact, one of the most conceptually ambitious, mechanically coherent, and spiritually true high-level AD&D modules ever published by TSR.

The real problem? People don’t read it right. They come expecting a coronation and get tossed into a meat grinder. They want a cinematic climax; they get eaten by spiders. Good. That’s the point.

“It’s Just a Bunch of Random Monsters!” You mean, like every other classic dungeon module? The Demonweb isn’t a carefully curated monster museum. It’s a divine hunting ground. The ogres and gnolls? They’re not “out of place”—they’re minions of other demonic powers. Yeenoghu and Vaprak don’t send hand-written invitations to Lolth’s palace—they send troops. Gifts. Tribute. Some may even be spies, working their own angles. Does Lolth care if they live or die? Not in the slightest. She uses them like everything else in her domain: bait, misdirection, or cannon fodder. Players think they’ve walked into an ogre cave, and then two rooms later they’re fighting type VI demons. Welcome to the Abyss.

“It Doesn’t Match the Drow Stuff from D3!” Because it’s not part of it. Or at least, it doesn’t have to be. D3 ends just fine on its own. The whole Elder Elemental God thread? That’s Eilservs’ nonsense, not Lolth’s. You already solved the surface world problem by killing a bunch of giants and wrecking Eclavdra’s political coup. Q1 isn’t a narrative continuation—it’s punishment for pushing too far. You wanted to rob a goddess? You get dragged into her realm. No XP for surviving the fall, either. If anything, Q1 elevates the material. It doesn’t clean up loose ends. It hands you a loaded gun and dares you to shoot a god with it.

“The Layout is Dumb and the Web is Confusing!” Have you met Lolth? She’s not Asmodeus. She’s not running an orderly Nine Hells power structure. She’s a sadistic chaos demon who lures prey into her lair and toys with them. Of course her palace is a looping planar web of death. Of course it doesn’t make tactical sense. She doesn’t need defensible corridors—she can teleport at will and summon infinite demons. The layout isn’t a mistake; it’s a personality profile in map form. If your players can’t navigate it? Good. Let them get lost. That’s what happens in spiderwebs.

“The Magic Item and Spell Restrictions Are Arbitrary!” You’re in the Abyss. It’s not supposed to feel fair. The rules change because the cosmic substrate changes. That’s what makes it a plane and not just “another dungeon.” This is exactly how you make high-level adventurers sweat: strip away their crutches, tilt the field, and watch them scramble. Spells don’t work right? That’s not a bug—it’s a feature. The players aren't in Kansas anymore. They’re in Lolth’s mind-palace. If she wants your staff of power to flicker and short out, she doesn’t need a reason.

“The Final Battle is a Letdown!” Only if you’re bad at running gods. Lolth isn’t some CR-appropriate set-piece encounter. She’s a divine being. If your party expects to kill her in 12 rounds of initiative trading, they deserve what they get. The goal isn’t to win a fair fight—it’s to survive a divine tantrum in her own reality. You want closure? Fine. Let her escape, vow revenge, and ruin your party’s next three campaigns. Or kill her and deal with the planar fallout. Either way, it's more interesting than yet another evil high priest with a snake staff.

What Q1 Actually Is 

 It’s not a dungeon. It’s not a set-piece. It’s not a capstone. It’s a theological statement rendered in graph paper. It’s divine judgment in the shape of an adventure. It’s what happens when players mistake “level 14” for “invincible” and get handed their own entrails for breakfast. Q1 is one of the few modules that understands what high-level D&D is supposed to feel like: desperate, disorienting, and dangerous. Not balanced. Not fair. Not neat. Just deadly, weird, and unforgettable. 

The Demonweb Pits don’t need fixing. They need understanding. And if your players hate it, well...maybe they shouldn't have tried to rob a demon goddess.

Not bad, but still not really me. And not just because of the lack of typos and grammatical errors...the flow is somewhat different from the way I write (which is, admittedly, rather haphazard, so maybe that's a good thing...?). Being abrasive alone isn't enough to make something a "JB original." 

Not yet.

The thing is, the AIs available to us will only become smarter and more self-directive as time goes on...that is crystal clear, and I've come to accept that. Right now, AIs are on the verge of rendering many (most?) jobs that require "intellect" (i.e. non-muscle power) completely superfluous. And in a year or two, with the constant doubling of the things' computing power and expanding knowledge base, it could well render ALL intellectual pursuits (yeah, even adventure design) "superfluous."  And I'm...okay with that. Which is to say, I've come to accept that my brain, once considered somewhat special (at least by me), will be utterly dwarfed and pwned by a person with the right AI tool and one or two clever prompts. At some point, it will even reach a place where it won't need a human "overseer" to check its work...AI will have grow adept enough that it will be able to do that itself better than a human...ANY human...even one with decades of experience in a particular field.

That will be an interesting time to be alive.

And understanding this, I think I've decided that, for myself, I will continue to focus my life on the one thing I can control that AI cannot (although it can give me advice if I like), namely: how I live my own life. How I interact with my fellow humans, and what I do...in my daily life...that is in aid of the relationships and interactions I have with my fellow humans. AI can't get my kids out of bed, feed them breakfast, give them hugs with supportive words, and drive them to school. AI can't coach kids on the soccer field, firing them up with the right words, and instructing them in the tactics they need in the moment (our team is 4-1, by the way, with two games to go before playoffs). AI can't join its voice with others in hymns at Mass on Sunday, helping to create a shared, spiritual community. AI cannot make eye contact with people, shake hands, high five, or laugh out loud at a friend's joke.

And AI can't run a table as a Dungeon Master.  

As AI becomes more and more able to take over ANY and ALL work that is done over a computer (which includes everything from creating music to creating artwork to creating films with AI actors), I suspect that what will become increasingly valued within our society will be performative-based.  I don't see professional sports (as one example) going away any time soon, because even if you could make a robot that plays football (or any sport), it is not the operation of a machine that entices or inspires peoples. We have many fantastic machines in this world: airplanes and skyscraper-tall cranes and power plants. Remarkable marvels worth a glance, worth noticing, worth studying or writing an essay about. But that's not the same as following a human performer through their trials and tribulations and human drama and marveling at the skills they display in executing their craft.

As humans, we tend to be self-centered...and other humans are far more interesting to us than the machines that populate our world. 

So going to see someone perform music live, or going to live theater, or attending a sporting event...or any event where real, live humans are "doing" stuff...is going to remain a "thing" for a while to come. Having a friendly, smiling human acting as your cashier or serving you food or directing you at an airport is going to continue to be a part of having a functional society. Even if the majority of our books are written by AI and the majority of our purchases are delivered to our homes by autonomous Amazon vans.

That's fine. I'm okay with that. I have an identity that is based on how I live my life and how I feel about the life I live.

That wasn't always the case. The title of this post is "Anti-Influence" because there was a part of me that, once upon a time, wanted to be an influencer of some type (not that I would have used that term)...for the sake of my ego, I wanted to matter to other people. I wanted my thoughts, my words, my actions to have weight and help bring people around to my point of view. Over the decade-and-a-half that I've been writing this blog, publishing books, and participating in the on-line community, I probably have had some influence...in fact, I know I have, based on what people have told me.

But I'm done with that. I am. Call it a "newfound humility." I don't want to influence anyone anymore. THAT is not my raison d'etre...that is not the reason I was put on this earth. 

Which doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing what I'm doing (blogging, writing, communicating). It just means that, deep down, I'm not going to have any ulterior motive. I will continue to share my little pieces of this or that, and will continue to say things like "5E is bad, 1E is good," etc. (along with reasons why) but whether or not any of it has any IMPACT, or whether or not I have any "relevance"...something I used to stress about...no longer makes a difference to me. That is just chasing something...and not something worth catching at this point in time. Not even possible with the new changes to our world and the speed with which those changes are being implemented.

You, my dear sweet readers, will not see any more AI-generated content from me...I can promise you that (even if we reach a point where AI-generated content is truly indistinguishable from my weirdness). Books I publish, blog essays I post...they're all going to be self-generated. Not because I think they're better than what ol' Oz can do, but because GENERATING THAT KIND OF CONTENT IS WHAT *I* DO. "Writing stuff," well, that's my "work" (such as it is), and allowing AI to do it for me would render that work meaningless...or, at least, valueless to ME. 

I'm not doing this stuff to make money or influence people. Like coaching or DMing, I do it because I love doing it. ALL the things I do out of love seem to be things that have no financial incentive for doing them. And I'm okay with that, too (or, rather, I've come to be okay with that). Just being able to do them at all is a privilege that I cherish. Truly.

Have a wonderful week, folks.

: )

Queen Of The Demonweb Pits

I've spent...mm..."many" hours, days over the last week or two examining the old TSR module Q1: Queen of the Demonweb Pits. It's been a bit of an...obsession.

Or a distraction...that's probably the better word. Things have been busy...real busy...'round these parts. I'm keeping my head above water with stuff, but SOME things I should be working on (like getting my crap together for Cauldron) has just been...

*sigh* Shunted aside, I guess. 

The PROBLEM is (and this is my problem, and I realize that) I've got a couple days a week to myself, days that I should be putting together my pre-gens, putting the finishing touches on adventures, figuring out what the hell I'm going to pack, etc., etc. And I keep having to do goshdarn legal BS. Driving to and from Kent. Driving to and from downtown. Spending HOURS, literal hours out of my day in commuting and standing in lines to talk to court clerks and bond companies and legal clinics and whatnot. Just exhausting. And frustrating. And if I'm NOT doing that on my "day off" (as I was today...five hours I spent dealing with this crap, FIVE) then I'm catching up on all the other stuff I should have been doing other days of the week. Just dealing with gross incompetence on the part of other people. Just...a pain in the ass.

SO...I don't get the time I need to do the stuff I want to do. And I'm mentally fatigued and easily distracted. "Highly suggestible"...that's the state my mind is in these days. 

Enter everyone's favorite TSR punching bag, Q1.

I've mentioned the Queen a time or two on this blog, but I've never really delved into it. As a kid, I didn't own it, though my friend Matt did and he loaned it to me for an extended period. Personally, I found it fantastic, probably the most interesting and imaginative adventure (in my opinion) of the TSR era. These days, I own my own copy, and I have my own criticism of it...but I still think it's a pretty good adventure. Certainly it needs less "sprucing up" than the various DL modules. Q1 is a module that I could run...somewhat disappointingly...as is, without much trouble. The main "problem" with it is that it isn't as cool as it could be...a failure of underachievement. But it's not a big pile of crap.

However, it IS odd. Not in that it ignores the Elder Elemental God "plot" as some (notably Greyhawk Gronard) have complained. That is a big red herring as far as I'm concerned, regardless of what Gygax wrote in an ENWorld comment in his later years. No, the odd thing is that Q1 was planned as any type of "capstone" module to the G-D series AT ALL. Reading the text of D3, it seems fairly clear that Q1 occupies the same adventure space as a "side quest" or "bonus level"...except that, in this particular case, it's more of a penalty box than a bonus.

Reading the old, monochrome version of D3: Vault of the Drow (published a couple years before Q1), you see that the main way players can end up in the titular Demonwebs is by poking their noses where they really don't belong (i.e. the lowest levels of the Drow cathedral) and humiliating the avatar of the dark elves' goddess:

If Lolth flees, or is slain in her current form, a silvery (platinum) egg will be revealed. A remove curse will enable it to be opened, and whomever does so is geased to enter the astral gate on Level #1 (14) and confront Lolth if he or she is able or die trying. In the egg are an iron pyramid, a silver sphere, a bronze star of eight points, and a cube of pale blue crystal. (These items have value and use only if the party continues the adventure in the next Module (Q1, QUEEN OF THE DEMONWEB PITS).)

Note that in the description of the astral gate (area 14 of Level 1) it's made clear that this is not a particularly "good" thing:

If any individual is bold enough to walk through the projection of Lolth at 11) and then touch the "mural" he or she will be instantly drawn into the tunnel vortex and brought to the plane of the Abyss where Lolth actually dwells. (If you plan to continue the campaign, this will be handled in MODULE Q1, QUEEN OF THE DEMONWEB PITS; OTHERWISE, SUCH INDIVIDUAL CAN BE CONSIDERED AS SLAIN.)

So, instant kill for anyone who beats Lolth, gets her "prize" (the platinum egg), and figures out how to open it...unless your DM has a copy of Q1 to run. But even then: this is not a reward for beating up Lolth; there's no gold piece value assigned to this treasure. If anything, it is a cursed artifact designed to bring the goddess's tormentors to her own plane, presumably to be destroyed in some fiendish, vengeful manner. 

Probably devoured, ultimately. She is a spider, after all. 

This trip to the Abyss is a punishment for the players' hubris and greed. Why else would they possibly be invading the Great Fane of Lolth? Leave out all criticism of Sutherland and the Blumes and how "Gary's Grand Idea" was suppressed. Just look at D3 and what it contains. Look at the context, in terms of the on-going adventure scenarios: PCs are tasked with stopping the giant threat. Over time, they learn that those responsible for the giants are the Drow. They follow the Drow down into the depths of the earth and track them to their capital where they find that this is simply one rogue band of HERETICS looking to extend their power and influence in the Drow world by conquering lands in the surface world. This has NOTHING to do with the Elder Elemental God...this is just about the political ambitions of the Eilservs clan (Eclavdra and her brood):

The Eilservs have long seen a need for an absolute monarch to rule the Vault, and as the noble house of first precedence, they have reasoned that their mistress should be Queen of All Drow. When this was proposed, the priestesses of Lolth supported the other noble families aligned against the Eilservs, fearing that such a change would abolish their position as the final authority over all disputes and actions of the Dark Elves. Thereafter, the Eilservs and their followers turned away from the demoness and proclaimed their deity to be an Elder Elemental God (see MODULE G1-2-3). Although there is no open warfare, there is much hatred, and both factions seek to destroy each other. An attempt to move worship of their deity into the upper world, establish a puppet kingdom there, and grow so powerful from this success that their demands for absolute rulership no longer be thwarted, was ruined of late, and the family is now retrenching.

There it is, in black-and-white: the whole "Drow plan." Not the machinations of Lolth or the Elder Elemental God...just Eclavdra's bid for power over the people of Erelhei-Cinlu. Eclavdra's clan has turned to worship of the EEG out of sheer spite for the clergy of the fane siding with the other noble houses against Eilservs and its quest for power.  So if the party is actually "following the story" or trying to solve the "mystery" that led to the "Giant War" their trail ends with Eilservs clan (complete with yet another G3-style temple dedicated to the mysterious tentacled eye god).  Why O why wouldn't the players just want to finish up what they'd started and then retreat back to the surface, loot in hand?

Greed, of course.

At the end of the day, we ARE still playing AD&D here, and the players are insatiable treasure hunters. And where are the biggest stashes of treasure to be found in the Vault? Why, in the Drow's grand cathedral, duh. And so...once they're finished knocking over the Eilservs estate, they might as well go loot the temple, right? It's what they (adventurers) do. 

Of course, it's always possible they were pointed that direction earlier. Not only by the Eilservs clan (looking to make common cause or buy their way out of a beat-down) but by the town malcontents...the young males that roam the streets like packs of wolves. See the RAKE encounter on the Erelhei-Cinlu wandering monster table:

...roaming the streets of Erelhei-Cinlu are bands of bitter youths, often outcasts...the bands with elven-Drow members will be hostile to all they perceive as part of the system which prevails in their world, and the Dark Elves with them are of the few who are neither totally degenerate nor wholly evil -- they are haters of the society around them and see no good in it....

If the party manages a friendly meeting with a group of Drow/Drow-elves/half-Drow rakes the youths will tell them about the worship of the Demoness Lolth and the way to her "Egg." The rakes will accompany the party to the area in question if a plan which seems reasonable to them is put forth. They will also leave the Vault-Egg areas in the course of adventuring.

These RAKE encounters show up one time in 20 on the "main thoroughfares" of he city but FOUR times in 20 (20%!) when traversing the "back streets and alleyways," making this the most common encounters in the city. The longer the party spends wandering the Drow capitol, the more likely they are to run into these disaffected toughs who will steer them towards the Fane. Clearly, this was Gygax's intent based on his design.

And the players' greed will be rewarded: the monetary value alone adds up to nearly half a million gold pieces worth, even without counting all the platinum and gemstones that each member of the clergy carries on their person. Add in magical items and the 50 room dungeon can net a pretty rich haul for a half dozen high level adventurers...probably enough to gain an entire level, with combat experience added in (no mean feat for a 14th level character!). Gygax WANTS the players to sack the Fane...and likewise wants the players to confront and (presumably) to BEST Lolth in battle. It's the main ticket to the next module in the series which would otherwise...not attract players' notice?

As with everything, it's all about the Benjamins, NOT the "grand evil scheme" of a goddess (or an Evil Elemental Cthulhu-like 'thing'). The only "scheme" Lolth possesses is her plan to bring the thieving PCs over to where she resides so that she can whup up on 'em (snot-nosed brats). But the adventures in the Demonweb Pits should be considered in the light of pulp S&S fantasy...this is the stuff of Leiber. 

"Hey, Fafhrd...what say we knock over the temple while we're down here anyway?" 

"Sounds good to me Mouser!" 

[later, wandering lost in the Demonweb] "How the hell did we end up here?"

Hilarity ensues. 

This IS "old school" D&D in its purest form: players getting up to hijinx (and into trouble) because it's a darn game, not an epic story of fantasy adventure. Just because you're on module number seven of a seven part series doesn't mean you're completing some grand story arc a la The Lord of the Rings...it just means Gygax and Co. has gifted you with an incredibly extensive scenario for occupying months (or more!) of campaign time. Just as you can spend EXTRA time exploring the side caverns of the UnderDark trek, the enterprising DM can create WORLDS of adventure from the 4th level "portals" of module Q1. This is the potential of I1's Forbidden City on a much larger scale.  Which is great. And which explains (in part) why there's no Q2 or Q3...there's no need. This is not another singular adventure site (like the Hill Giants' Steading) but an open-ended situation for exploration and (probable) exploitation.

So then, what's with the polyhedrals in the platinum egg?

Ah, the sticking point in my ruminations. If Lolth just wants to summon her opponents to her Abyssal lair with the intention of devouring them, why make them jump through extra hoops to end up in her gullet? If the ultimate result will be their deaths, why the grand charade, the multi-level challenge/test? Why not just drop them wholesale into the whatever that serves as her "nest" at the heart of the Demonweb?

Well, it IS a D&D game (duh) so, of course, we can't just make it a one-way ticket to death. And, sure, you can say that Chaotic Evil divinities have minds that function beyond the ken of mere mortals like ourselves (and are insane to boot). But I think there's a fairly easy, in-world/setting answer here. 

Not everyone is worthy of being being food for the goddess.

As a demon queen, an Abyssal goddess, and a giant spider, I keep coming back to the theme of HUNGER. The Abyss is pure chaos and destruction (evil)...the source of all entropy, eroding and disintegrating everything over time. Demons, as beings, are intelligent manifestations of that entropy...to us humans, they appear as ever-hungry, eternal devourers. Eat, eat, eat...bodies and souls, they consume all. This is one of the reasons I like Huso's "demon rules" (from Dream House of the Nether Prince): in addition to his mixing of of AD&D with Christian theology and myth (something I also dig on), he "gets" the hunger inherent in such beings and has cheerfully codified a whole, fat-based economy for the creatures (nice). And SPIDERS...man, they eat, with some consuming 10% of their body weight daily. If I ate 16 pounds of food per day...um...that would be a LOT. It's brings to mind reminisces of Tolkien's Shelob and her un-satiable hunger. 

But, as said, Lolth is a goddess. And while an eternally hungry demon spider by nature, she still has the pride of a queen. And not everything is a fit meal for a queen's consumption...not even the interlopers who murdered her clergy and ransacked her temple before smiting her (material) form. Besides, she has time...plenty of time (if the players succeeded in destroying her material form she is confined to the Abyss for a century, after all). Time enough to "play with" her food...for her own amusement.

Thus the polyhedrals...thus the testing. Make the players jump through her hoops, waste their resources, feel the grinding power of fear and entropic forces as they struggle through her demonweb. Struggle provides seasoning to the meal. And they humiliated her (on their own plane of existence), and now that the shoe's on the other foot, payback is a bitch, baby. To me, it makes perfect sense. Plus, what does she care if the gnolls (envoys from Yeenoghu) or trolls (Vaprak) get destroyed in the process...even her driders (failures of their own "tests")? The demonweb is a demi-plane construct that is but a small part of her Abyssal realm...who knows how many "demonwebs" she has spun over the millennia? How many webs do the spiders around your home spin? 

[September and October in Seattle is "spider season;" I knock down webs all the time...though I usually leave the spiders alive (they eat the flies). And they put them right back up again within hours]

The whole of Q1...at least the first three levels...are, thus, a proving ground of sorts for the player characters, designed to lure them in, deeper and deeper into her web. As flies will struggle, becoming more hopelessly entangled, they are drawn in by dribbles of treasure, slowly losing their resources to attrition, before finding their way to the 4th level with its extra-planar dimensional gates. I will say that I don't have (and never had) much issue with the steam-powered "spider-ship" that acts as Lolth's palace (keep in mind that there was no such thing as "steam-punk" in 1980)...it is assumed to be one of many "palaces" the Queen has stashed around the multiverse (just as the "Dream House" of Orcus is something of a demonic "Summer Villa")...this one just happens to be some sort of mobile war machine, used for conquest on other planets.

Of course, the spider ship is not on a Prime Plane planet at the moment: it is currently anchored in the Abyss (as inferred from the text describing the plane, the text explaining how the ship sometimes makes appearances on the Prime, and the fact that Lolth is herein, confined to the ship after having had her material form destroyed). Which means, of course that ALL the penalties and magical issues (reduced magic item potency, inability of clerics to regain spells, etc.) should apply as parties explore Lolth's palace. This might be quite the rude wake-up call, if PCs just spent an inordinate amount of time celebrating their visits to other worlds on Level 4...they may have been lulled into thinking "oh, good, everything's back to normal"...when, in fact, it isn't. The laissez-faire attitude of Lolth's palace minions might also contribute to this false sense of confidence.

Not that it matters terribly...I'd imagine most groups are going to end up in a TPK. I've run Q1 exactly one time: it did not end well for anyone other than Lolth. Which is probably about right...the BEST players should probably hope to achieve is escaping with their tails between their legs and as much treasure as they could stuff in their bags of holding, portable holes, etc. Actually defeating the Demon Queen of Spiders on her own plane?  Nah. My over-powered, psionic-heavy bard (dual-wielding a hammer of thunderbolts and a vorpal short sword) didn't make it out alive. You think your group could?

Mm.

All right, that's enough for today. I started this post last night (LATE at night) but had to finish it up this morning. I've got two weeks before I'm on a plane to Germany...time to buckle down.

Why "Light Games" Suck

Oh, look! An actual post from JB that isn't just dredging Reddit for click bait...

I'm sure I've tangentially referred to this subject in the past, and my apologies if there's already some long-winded post floating around my archives somewhere...I've been writing this blog for a bit now, and it's hard to keep track of all my various rants. However, James M's blog re-post post today hipped me to something that I've been reminded of before but never (so far as I can recall) in a moment of my free time when I had a laptop close at hand.

So you get this today.

These days the "OSR" is well-known for its plethora of "light" (as in "rules light" or even "rules lite") role-playing games. O So Many of them. From the retro-clones based on primordial (OD&D) or introductory (Basic D&D) game systems, to even cheaper, lighter knock-offs of those games. You know who I'm talking about: the Cairns, the Knaves, the ShadowDarks, etc. Everything to make the rules LIGHTER and EASIER so that it doesn't shackle the imagination, right? Just trying to increase accessibility, yeah?

And, of course, this sentiment...a sentiment of making games EASIER, LIGHTER, MORE ACCESSIBLE isn't limited to JUST the OSR. Despite the 700-800 pages of instruction found in 5E's "core" game books, there are precious little hard and fast rules. How difficult is it to understand a target number? How complicated is it to grasp "advantage/disadvantage?"  5E is, in many ways, fairly similar to other "light" versions of D&D...it just provides MORE OPTIONS. More character classes. More spells. More magic items and monsters. But ease of instructional game play? Check, check, checkity, check.

[not that 5E is "easy enough" for a lot of its players/DMs (as evidenced by Reddit posts). *ahem*]

Heck, I'd argue that this predominance of "ease" isn't even restricted to D&D and D&D-adjacent games. The days of GURPS and MektonZeta and Vampire: the Masquerade and Deadlands are a waaaays behind us. Every RPG I pick up and look at these days seems built around A) a really simple system, wrapped around with B) a bunch of options with regard to color and flavor. Which might be why I haven't purchased any new RPGs in a while. 

When was the last installment of Champions/HERO System? Are they out of business yet? Or have they issued a version of "HERO Lite?" Kids these days, you know? They can't even be bothered to READ, let alone do math.

[man O man, the state of this country]

But let's not dwell on those "other guys." I want to keep my focus squarely on the so-called "Old School" community. Because the "Old School" community is bigger than it ever was...and is YOUNGER than it ever was, filled with people born long after the original "hay day" of the D&D game. And there is a major disconnect with their understanding of what "Old School Gaming" is all about, specifically with regard to the "heaviness" (or "crunchy-ness") of rule systems.

I want to explain that.

And, in addition, I want to APOLOGIZE for that disconnect, because it was ME (and people like me...bloggers from the early 2000s) who did a poor job of explaining stuff to people, back when we were championing systems like "B/X" (basic) D&D. This post (despite the catchy, click-bait title) is meant to rectify something that should have been rectified a long, long time ago...

See, Back In The Day (that's the 1980s for me but, presumably, the late 70s also) Dungeons & Dragons was a game for NERDS. Not just any kind of nerd, but a particular brand of intelligent, imaginative nerds that were into things like fantasy and science fiction and mythology, MOST OF WHICH was found in BOOKS (which, being nerds, we tended to read a lot of). Most of us being somewhat challenged athletically, too (being bookworms), we still wanted to have FUN and so playing games substituted for the types of group activity that might otherwise be filled up with Rec basketball or Little League in the summer time. At least if we were playing D&D with our friends (especially if we were biking miles to our friends' houses to play) our parents were less likely to yell at us to stop reading trash novels and go outside and get fresh air and sunshine.

SO...Dungeons & Dragons was totally our jam. Here was a game that appealed to our interest in all the fantasy literature we enjoyed reading (quality fantasy film and television being extremely hard to come by, back in those days) AND required a high degree of intelligence to parse and make sense of (as the designers, while erudite, imaginative nerds themselves, had rather stumbled into their profession and had, perhaps, NOT the best technical writing chops for communicating what the D&D experience was all about). 

And O how it gripped our imaginations! How it occupied our all our waking moments! How we discussed it, in and out of school, weekdays and weekends, on Boy Scout retreats, and while sitting on the bench during our soccer games! It was fortunate that the game forced us to stretch our minds, do math, look up words in the dictionary (and terms in the encyclopedia) which made all our homework a snap...because otherwise, we probably would have fallen far behind for the amount of effort we put into school work. I know that would have been the case for me...as it was, I still managed straight As (big nerd over here) with about as little effort as I could manage.

But here's the thing, Youngsters: "light rules" was ZERO part of the appeal of these games. We WANTED our rules "crunchy." The more crunch, the better! 

This is why Dragon Magazine sold so well to members of our community: Dragon offered NEW RULES and new ideas that we could incorporate into our games...making our games heavier, and filled with MORE rules. Articles like the (previously cited) Gamma World article that ADDED to character creation. Or (for D&D) new rules for training, or weapon proficiencies, or building libraries, or specific "thieves tools," or random pick pocketing tables, or urban adventure rules, or animal training rules, or...whatever! Never mind the new "NPC" classes (which tended to become "PC" classes) or the new monsters or the new magic items (which were also incorporated)...I'm talking about whole SYSTEMS. When the Unearthed Arcana was published in 1985 (with the Gygax name on the cover), we adopted the entire thing, sight unseen: social classes, spell books, Comeliness, read illusionist magic, demi-human deities, simplified unarmed combat rules...we took in every single bit of it, stupid or not. 

Rules. Instruction. These provide more than "limits" to game play, more than structure. Rules provide ANSWERS...answers to all those questions that arise during play, questions that lead to arguments and discussions and that (in the end) lead to game play stopping. We did NOT want game play to stop...we wanted it to continue and continue and continue. Having answers from (presumably) neutral third-party authorities (whether in a rule book or a magazine) provided an official "stamp" or reliability, respectability, and authority...something that allowed us to say: "See, there's the answer, in black-and-white. Now let's move on and get back to playing."

Because it's all well and good to say 'The Dungeon Master is the final arbiter of the game.' But what if the Dungeon Master is a 13 or 14 year old peer who doesn't have their shit together in other areas of their life? How do you trust THAT guy (or gal) to do the right thing, to be impartial and fair, to remember the correct rule/system at the right time, every time? How do you expect a hormonal 16 or 17 year old to exercise prudence and good judgment? Are you f'ing kidding me?

RULES. We wanted rules...the more rules the better. No one played BECMI in those days (though it was purchased and mined for ideas), because it was TOO simple, TOO basic. If you told someone you wanted to play a (B/X) dwarf, you'd have been laughed out of the room. "A dwarven what?" we would have asked. 

No, "rules lite" was definitely NOT on the agenda. When we took breaks from D&D (which we did) it was to play other games of similar crunch that we'd have to learn. Sure Marvel Superheroes was fun, but as soon as Advanced Marvel Superheroes was published, we junked all out MSH stuff for the new version (check out the falling rules! And the whole chapter on different inventions and kit-bashing!). We'd play Chaosium's Stormbringer whose chargen system could take half a session by itself (for a character who would be gutted by the end of the session on a critical impalement). We'd spend hours using the Top Secret rules (and the various Dragon Mag article supplements) crafting our own awesome handguns. Point-buy game systems...like James Bond, GURPS, Mekton...could provide hours of mind-numbing entertainment by themselves even before getting to actual game play.

We were young people with strong minds and no internet or smart phones to to distract and dull our brain power. We wanted stimulation and EXERCISE for our think-boxes.

So What Happened? What happened that led to blogs like "B/X Blackrazor" (and many, many others) promoting a style of play that was streamlined and easy and neither advanced, nor "crunchy?" Why O Why, for so long, did people like ME actively disparage more complex games, even as others were trying to either preserve the fire and evolve/develop the complexity?

Eh. I don't have a great answer to that question. It was 2008. I was busy: wife, job, life. I'd just gotten out of 3E...probably the "crunchiest" edition of D&D ever designed; so crunchy that I'd deem it soulless, a mechanical monstrosity, "twisted and evil" (yes, like Darth Vader). Going back to B/X, rediscovering and reexamining it through wiser, adult eyes was a way to reclaim the energy, exuberance, and passion of my youthful self for the D&D game. FOR ME: I needed to go back to the beginning to start over. And the simplicity of the system was about all I could fit into the routine of my adult life and adult responsibilities...and even that faded in significance with the birth of my children in 2011 and 2014. Dungeons & Dragons (of ANY edition) wasn't even on my list of priorities when I was dealing with children that young!

I promoted B/X and the Labyrinth Lord retroclone (which allowed one to play the...at the time...out-of-print B/X), because it was a lovely little game that could be easily customized for a smart person who wanted to do extra work, and would serve the purpose of providing a D&D game experience without the need to teach one's players a bunch of "advanced" rule mechanics. It was certainly more accessible than other editions and...for me, as a Dungeon Master...was far less of a headache than 3E ever had been. And it was still D&D (IMO) unlike, say, 4E. 

But, as I've detailed before (more than once) there is a LIMIT to how far a game designed as a basic, introductory system can take you. And since all the ways needed to transform B/X into a robust, long-lasting game system would (in essence) simply amount to "re-writing AD&D," I eventually decided to cut the middle man and just jump back into The King of Games. 

And what I found is that it's really not any harder to teach players 1E than it was to teach them B/X...as with B/X it's really only a matter of ME (the Dungeon Master) knowing and understanding the game, while having a firm grasp of table dynamics. The latter bit comes from being an experienced game master, and can't really be taught, but the former? Yeah, any nerd can do that, if they're willing to read the instructions manual.

But while I was on my own (personal) role-playing journey, the rest of the "Old School" movement took on a life entirely its own. Chalk that up to the commercialization of the OSR: once some people started making serious money (i.e. more than you need to buy a six-pack or two), there became a vested interest in maintaining the status quo. And the status quo was light, OD&D or Basic-based retro-clones (sorry OSRIC) and derivative Rules Light systems: Mork Borg, Into the Odd, Troika!, etc. Systems that worked fine (perhaps) for a pick-up game, but that ARE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LIKE THE GAMES PLAYED OR DESIRED 30+ YEARS AGO. There is nothing "old school" about these games...NOTHING. Original D&D...the three Little Brown Books that started the whole "role-playing craze"...are the most streamlined, "light" version of the D&D game system ever published. And, at that time, might have been the most complex tabletop game ever to be sold on the open market, requiring not just itself to be played, but also CHAINMAIL and the OUTDOOR SURVIVAL board game to play (and fill in knowledge gaps). It was neither written, nor designed to be "simple and streamlined" and was almost immediately followed by Supplement I ("Greyhawk") increasing the game complexity radically (introducing multi-class characters, different hit dice and damage dice, weapon vs. AC adjustments, new advancement systems, etc.). And OD&D only continued to evolve (that is gain MORE complexity, MORE rules) from there...all per the desire of both the designers and the people purchasing/playing the game. 

"Old School" does not mean "dumbing down" or "making things simpler." Anyone who thinks this or who promote "rulings over rules" are operating under a misapprehension, a false premise. The true "old school" was all about the rules. More Rules...not less.

NOW, let me say there are plenty of Old Geezers like myself that played D&D back in the 70s and/or 80s who still play today using Rules Light systems...just as there are plenty of Old Geezers that play 5E or Pathfinder or WHATever. Yes, I know there are a NUMBER of experienced, AD&D veterans, who long ago moved on from AD&D and have never looked back, and they have their reasons (good reasons!) for this. And, yes, some of those reasons might include wanting to play a simpler, more streamlined game because the priorities of their life makes a "full 1E game" non-viable. Similar to MY state of mind when I was busy with my new parental duties. I don't fault Old Geezers who know the 1E system from making a different choice for themselves...those guys (and gals) are operating from a place of KNOWLEDGE and UNDERSTANDING.

But the rest of you?

There's a part of me...a big part of me...that wants to yell, YOU'RE WASTING TIME. Not just your own time, but the time of your players (yes, my admonition only applies to Dungeon Masters, as players get very little say in what game is run at the table). You are short-changing yourself of the game you COULD be running, of the experience you could be having, of the world you could be developing, the benefits you could be reaping, if you were bold enough, and patient enough, and diligent enough to put your nose to the proverbial grindstone and step into the shoes of an Advanced DM. 

Yeah, I want to yell that. But the truth is: we all come to the mountain at our own pace. When I was a kid...i.e. back before I turned 35...people gave me all sorts of advice that I failed to follow. Don't wait too long to have kids, for example (I almost did), or invest more money in the stock market, rather than booze and smokes (yeah, right). Heck, even the importance of a "spiritual practice;" it took me a lot of years before I fully appreciated the practical value of church-going in my life. Yes, a lot of us are slow to heed the wisdom of our elders...that "know-it-all teenager" attitude gets carried around for a lot longer than our teen years. Of course, it doesn't help when the elders giving the advice seem hopelessly clueless themselves (man, I had to set-up my parents' VCR for them back in the day...and I was 12 at the time! Jeez!...).

Anyway.

The title of this post promises a reason (or list of reasons) that I've yet to provide. Let's see if I can make this succinct:

1. They confuse minimalism with "elegance." The result is bland, undifferentiated, and tactically shallow. Without a structure to push against (and a system to master), there is no depth of play.
2. They prioritize "flow" over meaningful decision-making. By eliminating friction and meaningful constraints, they eliminate the tension that makes exploration and combat interesting. A meaningful game requires pressure; if everything is smooth, nothing is earned.
3. They forgo substance for style. I don't think I need to say more about ArtPunk.
4. They exist in a culture that fears complexity. The players coming to this game are actively afraid of mechanical systems, leading to design by subtraction...they don't want rules to get in the way of their improv theater. But it is complexity that gives a game its richness and provides a more robust experience. We shouldn't fear complexity; we should fear emptiness dressed up as accessibility.
5. They forget that D&D was always a game first. Instead, these "light games" end up being toolboxes for vibe-heavy improvisation. What D&D originally had...and what these "light" systems often lack...is a world that runs independently of the players.

And just to unpack that last point: AD&D (and the confused, constantly evolving jumble that was OD&D) had an internal logic to it, with rules for running consequential ecosystems. The DM's role is to simulate a dynamic, responsive world that the players are exploring...NOT a variety of scenes and narrative beats adapted to create "dramatic moments" or "emotional catharsis." This living simulation that is the AD&D campaign creates a powerful sense of immersion, consequence, and discovery for the players...not to mention a feeling or real achievement for the progress they make within the game world. That just isn't present in these "lighter" versions of the world's greatest game.

All right. I've said my piece for the day. Happy Tuesday, folks.

"Dear JB" Mailbag #41

And here I thought these had run out...

Dear JB:

The consensus seems to be that at most you should have outlines and like maybe a half page of notes for your sessions, because “you never know what your players are gonna do!” But the control freak in me is having trouble with all the what ifs that’s surround that Oh I want to write a character that is sly and cunning and slowly the players realize over time they’re not an ally, but what if they just say no to the quests? I want to write a large over arching theme that is happening in a large part of the world, like epic shit, what if they go the other way? I want this item to be special, and the grail quest to get it to be important, and the story ties together, but they decided to create a spa vacation setting and run a business Like it’s easy to just say “just improv bro!” But I find in real life it just doesn’t go that way. Voices, motivations, rolls, dungeons, how do you improv shit that takes time to prepare? Or is it just “well it was a pirate ship, now it’s a village” but everything else stays the same?

Is Most Of DMing Improv

Deat IMODI:

There are DMs who swear by their ability to run a game session entirely improvised...and I'm talking a dungeon crawl (no map! just constructed out of their head on the fly!). That's not really how the game was designed to be played, however...if you read the instructions provided in the game manuals, you'll usually see steps like #1 consider theme/scenario, #2 create map, #3 stock map with encounters. I would apply these general steps regardless of whether or not I was running a dungeon, a "wilderness crawl," or some sort of intrigue/social conflict...a "map" can refer to relationships (i.e. connections between NPCs) and/or scenes as well as "physical" locations in the game world.

But, generally speaking, the game always comes back to dungeons. That's why the word is part of the game's title.

Actual play is, of course, fluid...you don't know what choices your players are going to make during the course of the game, and you (as the DM) must be prepared to adapt and respond to their actions. This does require a certain amount of improvisation, but the preparation you do before-hand...the map you create, the notes on what encounters have been stocked...gives you a framework within which to operate. If you know that a half-dozen goblins are throwing dice behind the dungeon door, you have a pretty good idea of what the PCs might hear if they listen at said door...or just kick it in...or scry it and decide to disguise themselves with invisibility or magic...or whatever. If you know that Mayor So-And-So is a reluctant (if murderous) werewolf trying desperately to hide the secret of his curse from the town over which he holds sway (and which he secretly hunts at night), you'll have a pretty good idea of how he reacts to players investigating his predations, thanks to your knowledge of his motivations and the resources he can marshal to help keep his secret.

As the DM, you are creating situations for the players to explore. The more effort you put into developing the game world, the more opportunities you provide for your players.

FOR EXAMPLE: I wrote a tournament adventure for Cauldron that involves a trek upriver (to a dungeon) from a small fishing village. Did I bother to write anything/prep anything for the fishing village? No. So what does this mean if the players decide "Hey, can we go talk to the shopkeeper before we leave for the dungeon?" I'll say, sure, what do you want to buy? And they say "What does he look like, how does he talk, does he have any rumors, blah-blah-blah?" And I'll say something like:

He's a gruff middle-age shopkeeper. He's happy to chat (if you're buying stuff), but he doesn't seem to possess any info pertinent to your quest.

And THAT'S IT. I don't create a character; I don't create a "voice" for this NPC. I certainly don't carry on a conversation 'in character' with the players. I would treat any other NPC they seek out (the tavern owner, the village priest, the local herb-woman...whatever) in the same manner. Sure these NPCs exist in the game, but there's nothing to prep because they aren't pertinent to the situation...the adventure...being presented by the Dungeon Master.

And, honestly, I don't really find this kind of tangential, "off topic" chatter showing up at my table anyway. After all, I run AD&D, and I make sure anyone who sits down at the table knows and understands what we're playing. If they haven't played AD&D before, I always give them a short spiel, something like:

"So, we're playing AD&D here. Your character is an adventurer in a fantasy world full of magic and monsters. Your objective is to find fortune (treasure) and fame without getting killed...usually by going to perilous places (dungeons) that are too dangerous for normal individuals who don't have the skills your character possesses. You'll have to work together with your fellow players...as a team...if you want to be successful."

Something like that. Then I lay out the current situation (the adventure scenario). Even new players seem to "get it" and get down to business...withOUT the need to turn the session into a "spa day."

But I can grok that this info probably isn't that helpful to you IMODI. You're worried about how a (fake) character's personality develops over time. You're concerned with creating "large over-arching themes" and "epic shit." It sounds a lot like you want to write a fantasy novel; perhaps you should go do that instead of playing D&D (you're far more likely to satisfy that particular creative urge through actual storytelling if you don't have to deal with the loose cannons that are your average player). 

Here's the truth of D&D play...of real D&D play, mind you, not the wannabe scripted-reality TV play that takes its cues from the Matt Mercer circuit. The TRUTH is that none of your "epic" situation/scenario concepts MEAN ANYTHING to the players at the table. Like, ZERO. If they are of the "old school" persuasion like myself, then they are simply trying to play the game to the best of their ability (i.e. surviving, finding loot, leveling up, etc.). And if they are of this current "new school" variety, they're only concerned with their own individual character, i.e. whether their needs are being met with regard to attention and spotlight gathering. Your "story arc" only means anything to them inasmuch as it gives them a way and reason to perform and stroke their own ego. Which is a pretty sorry way to play D&D (in my opinion), but there are a lot worse ways for people to be spending their time so...have at it.

SO, regardless of what edition you play, prep what you need to run the scenario you've got, and then be prepared to roll with the punches. That is the way of the DM. Don't worry so much about making things "epic;" D&D happens at a small scale. It zooms in on individuals, their individual choices and actions...and the results of those actions. All that "epic" stuff? That's just background noise (if that, even). You can decide whether or not any kind of "story" got told AFTER the game session is over.

Sincerely,

JB

Death

I want to write for a moment about the phrase "deserving to die."

No. This is not (necessarily) a game related post.

One hears this phrase bandied around every so often: "So-and-so deserves to die." OR "So-and-so DIDN'T deserve to die." That the phrase happens so much in our society...or at all...says something about how WE (as a society) feel about death.

Pause that for a moment. To recycle a line from one of my favorite, Oscar-winning films:

"Deserve's got nothing to do with it."

I've mentioned this many times in many other posts, but I'll reiterate it again for the cheap seats: we are all going to die. I'm going to die. You're going to die. Our families and friends are going to die. Our loved ones, Our children. Our grandchildren. It's not a question of IF...it's a question of WHEN. Part of being human is being mortal...we don't last forever. Current science pins maximum longevity (with optimal health, nutrition, clean-living, etc.) at roughly 120 years. Most people will happily celebrate 100 (or 90!) so long as they're still ambulatory. The takeaway, however, is that our time here is FINITE. We end. All of us.

And we all have that knowledge...at least, anyone reading this blog should already know and understand that. This is not a secret of our existence. But whether or not one wants to face this truth...well, I'll not judge (too much).

We all die. Some of us live long enough to accomplish something we're proud of...leaving a legacy of sorts. This could be as "simple" as procreation, or it might be monumental institutions that will last for generations after we've shuffled off our mortal coil. Again, once we've passed away, such thing will cease to matter to us. We'll be gone...on to the next adventure (or next plane of existence or next incarnation or whatever happens "after"). 

So...what? So what, JB? It's "okay" to die?

It's not a question of whether or not it's "okay." Death is inevitable. Mortality is a part of the human experience. For good reason (in my opinion): there comes a time when it is time for the soul to rest from its endeavors during this existence...death is a welcome respite for the work (often painful work) of 'living.'

The sad part of death is mainly for those that are left behind.

[I say "mainly" out of the idea that a dying person may be resistant to death because they feel they have "more to do" before passing on...but evidence is that the world continues without us JUST FINE...this idea that we (perhaps) care upon passing is (at best) romantic or whimsical thinking]

We each have a part, a role to play in this rich tapestry of life in which we are all (while living) participating. When we die, our thread comes to an end...and that's O.K....but there are other strands that we have touched that might (and DO) continue after we're gone. For a while at least. And that, too, is a kind of legacy.

Why do I bring all this up? Why am I writing about it?

Recently a man was murdered in this country, my country (the U.S.A.). Sadly, unfortunately, this is not an unusual occurrence. Nearly 17,000 people were murdered in 2024. People with dreams, with plans, with ambitions. People with families that were left behind. People of all colors and ethnicities and economic spheres and politics. People who could have lived LONGER...maybe a LOT longer...if they had not been "cut down" by a murderous assassin.

This man that was murdered...I'd never heard of him (or if I had, I'd paid no mind and/or forgotten about him). But apparently he was famous. And controversial: much beloved by some, despised and hated by others. Having now learned something of him and heard his viewpoints on a number of subjects, I hold my own opinions, which I choose not to share at this time.

For this man to die, murdered, is not a good thing. It is not good for his family, it is not good for the people who loved him, it is not good for the people who stood against what he stood for. It wasn't even good for the person who murdered him and set out to (and succeeded in accomplishing) his murder. I say this with complete conviction: it is not good for the soul of a murderer to commit murder. I've known people who have committed murder (in war time) and I've seen the deep, deep scars it creates in their core.

In their core. But...that's something I could discuss at length and I don't want to digress from my current subject.

This controversial man was murdered, and there is nothing "good" about that. But his murder means nothing in terms of whether or not his death was "deserved." Deserve has nothing to do with it. Wherever his soul is now, it is evaluating its time on this earthly plane (in that particular earthly form) and considering "How did I live my life? What did I do for others while I was living?" For his own children he certainly did a LOT, bringing them into this world...something for which they should be eternally grateful. I am certain they will miss him immensely and, as a father (and son) myself, I empathize and feel for the tragedy of their loss. How terribly, terribly sad and frustrating their childhood will be without their father. 

I will say again: there is nothing good about a person's murder. No matter how hateful a person may be (or may be judged to be). With life, there is always hope...hope for change, hope for action, hope for making the world a better place. Even if I do horrible, horrible deeds. I can decide to change my ways and make a positive difference in the world...positive difference which might not "atone" for my past misdeeds, BUT IS STILL MAKING A POSITIVE CONTRIBUTION TO THE LIVES OF PEOPLE. 

Do people understand that? You might have been a piece of shit...for years!...but if you go out tomorrow and start helping people, being compassionate, working for the good of your fellows rather than the enrichment of your ego or pocketbook THAN YOU ARE MAKING A SOLID, POSITIVE IMPACT IN THE PRESENT. And, like it or not, we live in the present. And what we do in the present has an effect on what happens in the future. It doesn't make the past 'go away' but, to date, we haven't found the way to change the past. Best thing to do with it is to LEARN from it.

"Deserved to die." "Didn't deserve to die." F*** all that noise...both sides. WE ALL DIE. With the possible exception of Jesus Christ (and that's a faith question) no one has ever staved off death completely. The murdered would have died eventually, regardless of whether or not they were pissing off folks with their political rhetoric. Death comes for us all...eventually. It will come to ME. It will come to YOU. The question we ALL need to ask ourselves (as we look in the mirror) is:

What impact am I having in the world right now with the life I'm living, the actions I'm taking?

If I die tomorrow, my eternal soul (which I choose to believe in for...reasons) will not care overly much about the dead corpse it hovers over for a moment before "passing on." But it might...it MIGHT...care about the legacy it leaves behind. Will it be a legacy it's proud of? Will it have been a life that touched many lives in a positive, selfless manner? 

All of which, I understand, may make me seem callous or (at least) indifferent to the death...the murder...of a fellow human being. And perhaps I am. But I am not indifferent to the suffering of the man's loved ones that are left behind. I empathize. I've lost loved ones. And I can well imagine (I have a vivid imagination) how I would feel if I lost my child to a murderous individual armed with an assault rifle...the anger, the sadness, the disbelief.

All those various stages of grief.

We all die, sooner or later. For all I know, I might die today: struck down by a stray bullet, killed in a car accident, or murdered by an aneurysm in my own over-stressed brain. It happens. It is not unusual to die...it is (as said) inevitable. So it's up to me...to ME...to make sure that the life I live is worthy of being called a life in my eyes, by my understanding of what a "good life" is. Right now, that means getting up before the crack of dawn and getting breakfast ready for my high school student before taking him to school, and then coming home and repeating the process for my middle school student. Later on, it will be...other things.

This is life for humans. We live and then we die. "Deserve" has nothing to do with it. Living in fear...fear of the inevitable...is a damn waste of time and effort. Worry about what's important right now: living. Living a good life. Being a positive force in the world. Touching others lives in a positive way. Trying to leave the world a better place, not a worse one.

Yeah, there are cynics out there who don't buy any of that. "Get mine NOW, because when you die you're GONE." Okay, buddy. These are the folks who choose to live in fear...fear that they, too, will get murdered or struck down in some fashion and then they'll be GONE, unable to get anymore of THEIRS NOW. I've got news for those people:

You are going to die. Sorry. You will. The evidence, the facts, are clear on this account.

All right. That's enough for now...I've got a busy day ahead of me. Blessings and best wishes for all of you taking the time to read this (and for those who didn't, too). Happy Monday.

Yours In Faith

Cauldron Prep

What day is it? Thursday? Whatever...it's 5am (or, rather, it was...I scrolled reddit looking for a worthwhile post but it all just made me want to vomit...) and I'm up thanks to some ungodly "beeping" that went off in our house this morning. No idea what it was. Checked all the fire alarms (and it didn't sound like them anyway). Hasn't repeated itself. But now I'm up.

Status update on "stuff:"

• The Family is doing well. Adapting to our "new normal" of having a high school kid. So far, so good. D came down with a bit of a cold (not COVID), probably from the amount of stuff on his plate, but he's gotten over it quick. Sofia's getting pretty good at rocking Take It On The Run (REO Speedwagon) on her guitar. Wife hasn't murdered me yet. All's fine.
• Soccer: I'll have a better idea of all teams after this weekend.
• Seahawks: hey! I went to the game last week which was...terrible! Not just because they lost (always bad to drop a home game), or that they lost to the Niners (which makes it even worse), but because of how they played...oh, man. It is orky football for sure but, in Blood Bowl terms, they're like the ork team that has ONE goblin catcher (that would be Smith-Njigma) and no one else with any speed/catching ability. The offense failed to stretch the field at all. And "Riq" Woolen was awful. Really, really frustrating to watch. Also frustrating to have to pay $8 for a bottle of water at the game. *sigh*
• Legal Disputes: I might have found a way to resolve my civil suit as early as next week, fingers-crossed. The events that led to the irritation I expressed last Friday turned out to be a blessing in disguise (maybe). We'll see.
• My father was in town. Had a nice visit. He's pretty hale and hearty for an old codger (pushing 80), but I worry about his mind a bit. *sigh* That's life, right?

Okay...onto gaming stuff.

Cauldron is barely a month away, and other than my day-to-day affairs (see above), this is my primary concern at the moment. Despite being on opposite sides of the globe, I've been in rather constant contact (through discord, natch) with the Euro-folks (helps that I don't get much sleep...) and things are getting exciting. Man, I'm so glad I'm going back there. Even if it SUCKS somehow, it'll still be fantastic to see everyone again.

This year they've got six gaming blocks going: two Friday (the first is a shorter, three-hour "sidekick" for folks arriving early), three Saturday, and one Sunday (after breakfast and awards). This year I'm signed up to run games in five of the six, including (*shudder*) Saturday's "night block" (9pm - whenever). In Cauldron 2023, I used that time to sleep, but retrospectively that's silly:

1. My sleep cycle is already out-of-whack from the travel.
2. I'm too keyed up by what's going on (hard to get to sleep and tend to wake before dawn).
3. I'm making the journey to play games, not nap!
4. I've got a nice long plane ride home on which to sleep (and I will).

SO: night block, here I come!

I am also the "tournament director" for this year's "Blackrazor Cup" which does not entail a whole lot of work (thankfully)...now that the adventure's been written, anyway. Probably I'l be tallying scores and whatnot in the wee hours of Sunday morning. No paper certificates this year...the con organizers got real life medals and trophies (I've seen pix). Amazing! I'm sure it will be a good time. 

[we'll see if all the players hate me after this year. It's their own fault for complaining last year's adventure was "too easy." This, however, may have been due to the way the adventure was DM'd...when I ran it for my home group  it ended in a TPK]

For my free block, I will be doing my darnedest to get into Settembrini's Chainmail game (yes, this Settembrini) which he is advertising as having space for seven, Even if I don't I might hang out and watch...regardless, I have that particular time block cleared specifically for that particular table.

Originally, I'd also kept the Night Block clear, partly out of a vane hope at sleep, but mostly because I was considering the possibility of one of Prince's epic night games (he usually brings some 10+ player extravaganza). Unfortunately, this year he ain't. Not because he won't be drinking through the night (au contraire!) but because he has games he wants to play in, for a change. However, he IS offering his own "tournament adventure" (with prize!) that he will be running himself in three different time blocks. It's called "Assault On The Beckerdrome;" the description reads:

Over the last years, you have endured and triumphed in the Blackrazor Cup, the most prestigious event in the history of the known world. Its lustre has endowed you with divine fire, but each night you weep, for lack of worlds to conquer. Yet there is hope. The earth shakes and is split asunder. An ancient fortress lies beneath. You have conquered the Blackrazor Cup, but how will you fare against the one who forged such a contest?

The ultimate challenge awaits.

So, yes. It appears I am the BBEG of his adventure. Sly devil.

[he will be paid back! In spades!]

Of the time slots I'm signed up for, four are nailed down. I'll be running a modified version of Anthony Huso's Silver Temple of Transcendent Flame in the Friday afternoon "sidekick," the BRC tourney module for Saturday morning, a new adventure that I haven't even drawn a map for yet (*headslap*) called Caul's Dark Citadel for Saturday afternoon, and MY version of I3, Legacy of the Pharoid, in the Sunday brunch spot. Of course, that one's not complete yet, either. 

[wait...checking. Checking. Yeah...no]

I'm actually probably going to have to scrap Legacy from the docket. I was only going to run the Body Banks section, but it's still 64 encounters (waaaay too many for a four-hour time slot) and less than half have been keyed. Too big, too long, too un-finished for this year's Cauldron...but I've been in contact with Kelvin Green about some collaboration on the project and it might be cool for a later Cauldron con (maybe as a multi-part running...as I did with Forbidden City in 2023). I certainly doubt I'll have time to write AND play-test the thing before con time, not with needing to do the same with Dark Citadel. I just have too many irons in the fire.

SO...I was looking through my inventory of adventures for a replacement, and I actually have a number of low level (3rd - 5th) adventures that might substitute AND be short enough. There's the Tomb of Bendan Fazier, which was a lot of fun for my home group (though, since I posted it to the blog a couple years back, it could be considered "spoiled"). There's Ice Box which, while written for OD&D is easily converted (it even uses Fiend Folio critters)...except the tournament adventure is already "cold themed." There's Lost Vault of Kadish (a stand-alone 'side quest' in Legacy). Heck, I could even run The Sunken City of Doom, my DL1 re-write; yeah, it's close to 100 encounter areas, but it's for the right levels, has pre-gens (twisted DragonLance PCs), and is mostly keyed...

Oh, wait: here's also Vermin Town, the rat-themed adventure I wrote for my own "Year of the Rat" adventure charity contest...now there's a compilation book I never got around to publishing (*sigh*). Why not? Because I drew my maps by hand and I can never get my damn scanner to work (frigging Paraguayan printer tech...). Ugh. This is a good one, but I'd need to FIND the maps for it (no idea where those are). Ooo...also The Tower of Ybarra Florin. That's an oldie but a goodie.  Okay, I have choices...I'll figure something out.

Then there's the Night Block.

I added an event here because A) sleep is for suckers, B) Prince ain't running, and C) I'm going to this thing to be active/contribute. I mean, Grutzi is running his Isle of the Dead, but I don't have a 9th level character to bring to the party (wish that I did), and pre-gens, IME, are always a bit of a crap-shoot. None of the other games in this block are particularly enticing: I'm already familiar with Black Crag and Black Mark (having reviewed them), the idea of playing a 4th level OD&D pre-gen is...nah. And there's just no way you'll find me sitting down to a game of "Ransack" (sorry, Parti...). No. Better to just run something of my own. I like to run games, after all. And running different games for different people keeps me sharp.

But what to run? Well, what I've got registered for the event is titled *something, something* Doom, but that's just a placeholder. My initial thought, actually, was to run one more session of the tournament adventure. We have eight different DMs runnng the thing (including me), but if I ran it twice, it would ensure that ALL the attendees who wanted to play would get the chance to do so.

[some quick math: there'll be about 80 attendees at Cauldron. The tournament adventure is designed for six to eight players so, with a Dungon Master, that's NINE people at a table. 9x9 = 81, right? But you subtract one ('cause I'd be running twice, and there's only one of me) giving a result that equals the con's headcount]

Plus, I'm kind of loving the adventure, and having already run it twice, I'm getting a good handle on it (there are some tricky bits). Yeah, more and more I'm considering one more session of Rivers...unless I get a message from someone else who wants to run it (which I might...there's still time). And if THAT happens, I'm thinking of running something high level. Maybe Hells Own Temple (which, re-reading it, could really stand some revisions) or Queen of the Demonweb Pits. I don't know. Something challenging. Something AD&D.

Okay, the sun's up and so are the kids...time to make breakfast. It is a perfectly beautiful Seattle morning: grey, misty, and drizzly (we desperately need rain). A little more coffee and I'll be able to tackle those maps...once everyone's out of the house.

Later gators!

: )

***EDIT: I found my maps. Oo-boy!***

Game Day

It's 8:36am. I've been up for nearly four hours.

I have difficulty sleeping on game days...well, any day when I'm on the docket for an activity that requires preparation. At conventions (like the one I'll be going to in October) I'm lucky to get four or five hours a night. It's hard for me to get to sleep, and I often wake up hours before my alarm.

Excitement and stress...these can play havoc with one's circadian rhythm.

First day of the (school) soccer season. I am coaching my daughter's team. It has been a madhouse just trying to get practice slots. I've had three since last Friday (the day after I got home from Orcas). Three. The last two were yesterday and Thursday. We'll see how this particular band of misfits performs. 

Of course, I had to be up early for D anyway...he had a cross country meet at 7am. Jeez, these kids. He also has club volleyball this afternoon and club soccer tomorrow. Sofia has her club soccer match this afternoon.

But that's all fine and dandy...that's just driving (and I have a full tank of gas (I mean, since I was up this morning anyway...). This morning's game, I'm coaching. My team. My responsibility. No rest for the wicked/weary.

I'll let y'all know how it goes. It's just nice being back in a sport where I get to yell from the sidelines.

; )

[EDIT: we won, 5-2. Shaky first half, but we pulled away in the second. One in the books]

"Dear JB" Mailbag #40

Hi JB!  So I am a bit perplexed over the situation and would appreciate any advice. Also my blood is boiling, but I'll try to keep this fair and factual. 

Currently I am a part of an online DnD campaign - and it is the best campaign of my life. I am enjoying it immensely, especially since my previous full-blown campaign's ending traumatized me a bit. My new DM - highly recommended - delivered fantastic sessions: great storytelling, balanced spotlight, the works.

Then one day it all changed, when one of the players asked if his wife could join. She’d supposedly been bullied out of another game. We are decent people, so we agreed. Later, we learned she’d been "bullied out" several campaigns with different groups. Red flag number one.

Her first action was demanding her paladin character be a literal anime space princess and would not accept any pleadings, with us being a rag-tag team of homeless scavengers. She would not budge, and the DM compromised, making her an emperor’s illegitimate daughter (not yet confirmed 100%, but enough to keep her satisfied). Red flag number two.

After some travelling she started subtly trying to change other PCs to fit in her narrative, masking it with back-handed compliments. Such as "Wow, your autognome was so much less annoying this time, keep it up!". And my poor autognome monk was not the only receiver of this treatment, this also included comments towards our cute elf warlock and several NPCs; she even started actively referring to other two players (including her husband) as "my simps". Then one day during combat, she threw a fit when the DM hit her 21 AC anime princess paladin several times. "This is not fair! Roll publicly! I don’t trust your rolls!". We were quite taken aback and again tried to reason with her, after which she claimed she was being bullied again before finally calming down.

By this time me and my friend (warlock) already approached the DM to discuss how she was making us uncomfortable. He said that he would talk to her, and for the next session it all died down, so we thought that it bore fruit. Then a week ago came a breaking point.

Princess multiclassed into warlock. The DM suggested a patron and was crystal clear (both directly and indirectly via NPCs): this patron was evil, would corrupt her, and may exploit her royal bloodline for its own ends. She agreed, as her potential patron promised her an ascension to the throne. We all thought: "How cool is that, her anime paladin will finally be going through an interesting ark!" Yet when the DM roleplayed her character’s growing bloodlust (exactly as warned), Princess was shocked. Princess was outraged. Princess said that her character would never-ever feel such dark urges.

After the session during our scheduled feedback time, she proclaimed she had a "joint complaint" against the DM. What exactly is a "joint complaint" if no one of the party participated, you ask? Turns out, she’d complained to out-of-game friends - who knew nothing about our campaign - and they accused the DM of "stripping her agency as a player" as there was "lack of wisdom saves to resist these urges". Guys, she screenshotted their nasty messages and sent them directly to the DM’s DMs. The messages where they mocked my DM and questioned his competence. I am fuming even now.

Seeing our DM - a kind, talented person - shaken was heartbreaking. So I lost my cool. I told Princess in no uncertain terms that this was unfair, highly unethical, and a violation of trust. If she didn’t trust the DM, she should find a DM that she DOES trust instead of trying to walk all over my favorite DM. She abruptly left the session, and I personally spent 20 minutes consoling our sweet DM.

Here’s the problem: the DM let it slip that he still wants to continue playing with her as there are couple of sessions left anyway and he wants to finish her ark. I also suspect that he is afraid that her husband may leave with her, and hubby is a valuable player and has a great and important character. I love this campaign and the storytelling, but Princess’s behavior is ruining my experience, my friends' experience and our DM's experience. How do I support my DM without enabling her? How do we protect his mental health if she stays? I do not want to pressure him to get rid of her, and my other teammates, although uncomfortable, would like to continue as is... 

EDIT: I deem this necessary to state: I am female, my warlock friend is female, we are not bros gatekeeping the sacred masculine DnD by booting a woman

Space Anime Princess Ruining My Game

Dear SAP:

I am angry right now...so, so angry. And it has nothing to do with you, or the world or the government or anything big and over-arching that affects anyone besides myself. It is a very personal issue/problem, relating to my idiot brother and our idiotic legal dispute and the idiotic legal system and the fact that it is forcing me to do all sorts of bullshit that I don't want to do and DEFINITELY don't have the time for, what with everything else on my plate. It is just one FUCKING DELAY AFTER ANOTHER and after waiting WEEKS for my hearing date to move a trial up so we wouldn't keep hemorrhaging money from my dead mother's estate, the judge dismissed the motion as it appeared the "defendant hadn't been served."  Despite me getting up at the crack of dawn and driving through fucking Seattle traffic to get to the Kent Regional Justice Center to file the fucking proof of service five minutes after the court opened (this after having already emailed it to them on August 21st per the idiotic bailiff's instructions). So NOW I have to redo the whole fucking process again in order to lose another month's worth of cash from this thing just because my brother is an asshole that I can't have removed without a court order.

Fucking hoboes. AmIright?

So, I'm angry. Like really, really pissed off, SAP. And since yelling and screaming obscenities won't do anything to help and I REALLY need to vent right now, I'm going to take it out on YOU. And I want you to know it's not your fault that I'm about to unload, it's me, it's all me, but you know what? You're a fucking idiot, too.

First Off: this is your Dungeon Master's cross to bear, not yours. Your DM has to "man up" and boot her himself...IF (and only if!) he has a problem with the person and her actions.

FOR EXAMPLE: Let's, for the sake of discussion, say I was your Dungeon Master. Yes, yes, and we'll assume I'm running 5E, and I'm all about the lovely "role-playing" and "story arcs" of your characters (have I mentioned I ran World of Darkness games for YEARS?). Let me put myself in your DM's shoes, and some new player comes to me with her "joint complaint." And I ask, um, who's complaining besides you? And she tells me "her friends" and puts screen-shotted comments in my face. Here's how I'd handle it:

#1 I'd tell her "Your friends can go fuck themselves."

#2 I'd say, "Remember how I said no phones at the table? Please get that out of my face."

#3 If she emailed me the screen shots I would hit 'delete' without comment.

And I would make it perfectly crystal clear that NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO PLAY AT THIS TABLE. If you don't like how I run my games, feel free to TAKE A HIKE.

This is easy, easy stuff.

Oh, you're worried the lady's husband will leave? As a Dungeon Master I cannot live in fear that my players will walk out of a game.  CAN. NOT. Do you know why? Because players CAN and DO leave games AT ANY TIME. That is the players' prerogative. Players get jobs. They change schools. They move. The die. They have kids. Etc. You cannot have an attachment to your players such that it dictates control of your game. Period, end of story.

My game = my rules. But YOU don't have to play.

Still, that's NOT your problem, because YOU are not the DM. Likewise, your DM's "mental health" ain't your problem either. Your DM has to take care of his own shit: that's part of being a grown-ass human being. 

You want to support your DM? Show up at his game. That's all the support any true DM needs or wants (though a thank you at the end of a session is always appreciated).

Sincerely,

JB