But I'll get to that in a moment.
Or now. I suppose I could get to it now...the last couple days I've been feeling it...some sort of discontent, depression, anxiety...a kind of feeling of hopelessness or helplessness or dissatisfaction, wrapped in (perhaps) "self-disgust" (whatever that means).
Gaming with my kids is fun and all, but it's like gaming with one arm tied behind my back. They're too young and un-spoiled to pour the darkness of my imagination into their innocent minds. Even hitting them with fire and blood and destruction is an exercise in treading on eggshells.
That's sad. To be gagged in that way. I feel I'm in fertile breeding ground for resentment, and I don't want to resent my children.
[this all makes me grumpy, which is no good for them either, by the way]
Is there an alternative? Mmm. Not really, not at this place in history, not in this moment of my life. Not one that I can think of that works for me and my family.
I suppose I can just write stuff. Blog posts, adventure scenarios, shitty short stories or novellas. What a waste. Or my time, of my knowledge, of my (little-though-it-may-be) talent.
If you can't tell, I'm feeling a bit useless at the moment.
*sigh*
More later. Maybe tomorrow. I'll try to be a bit more up-lifting. Or, at least, interesting.
Apologies. But I needed to vent.
I feel for you, but at least they want to play. I have a 12 & 14 YO and I can't get them to sit still for a game. The longest we've played is an hour. During the pandemic I've been able to play via Skype with the guys I played with in high school. It has been a life saver. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThanks Matthew: appreciate it.
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