"Dear JB" Mailbag #51

This guy.... 

Dear JB:

My friends and I are new to D&D. Actually, I've been consuming D&D content for about a year, so I have a bit more experience. We started with a one-shot, and I had a good time, and I think they did too. Then I decided to run the Lost Mine of Phandelver with them, and that's where the problems started.

The least of them is that after the one-shot, I let them level up, and I think the encounters are too easy now. For example, they defeated Klarg the Bugbear and his wolf with very little difficulty, even though I tried adjusting the encounter to make it harder. I'll try keeping them at their current level for a few sessions.

The real problem is how they're playing. To give you some context, they either chose a chaotic neutral alignment or something in between, but they're actually unbearably evil. They try to rob, have sex with, and sacrifice every NPC, using them as bait, or they simply don't care what happens to the main NPCs. I got tired of this and told them directly that we wouldn't get anywhere if they kept playing like this, since they can't just do the same thing to every NPC. They told me that "that's what their characters would do" and that I should try to make the NPCs meaningful to them and interesting, but I simply can't continue like this. How do they expect me to try to make them more significant if I don't feel heard by them? It doesn't bother me that they don't follow their alignments, and it's true that I'm not very good at roleplaying. The issue is that I'm tired of what they do in-game, and they don't realize that I'm not enjoying it. I don't think they understand that I'm also new to D&D, and the fact that they don't appreciate the effort I put into each session is making me rethink whether I want to keep playing or not. I like to think that through all, there is some hope that they will understand that the only way that i could make the story more meaningful is if they respect the story im trying to tell.

All advice is welcome and very needed.

I Can't Deal With My Players

Dear ICDWMP:

As we approach the end of 2025, it's not unusual for people to want to reflect upon the past 12 months considering missteps and errors we've made, and thinking of ways in which we can improve our lives and actions. Reflection is good; striving to be better is admirable.

But first, of course, we have to be willing to admit our failings. Since you "welcome" "all advice" and, in fact, acknowledge that it is "very needed" ...well, it's only right that I start by advising you to take stock of your situation and realize that all these problems are of your own making.

Not the game. Not the rules. Not your friends. Not even the publisher. Just YOU.

"Consuming D&D content" does NOT translate to "experience." Running a "one-shot" (whatever the hell that means) does not prepare you to run a campaign. Ignoring instructional text and simply "leveling up" players when you feel like it is not a mark of proficiency.

And, no, no player is ever going to "appreciate" what it is you do. If you are DMing solely for the sake of being appreciated by your players, you are going to be DISAPPOINTED. Over and over again.

SO...let me help you. Please. Let me help you. Listen...or, rather, READ...what I have to say. And know that I write these words with a motivation that stems from love.

Mostly. Also, it annoys me to have terrible Dungeon Masters walking this planet.

Now I'm not going to lie: the 5E Starter Set has some pretty TERRIBLE advice in it ("When in doubt, make it up!" and "It's a shared story!" are just two examples). But, a new DM has to start somewhere and if you're insistent on learning that [5E] edition, you might as well start with a "starter set." However, when learning ANY new skill...and running D&D as a Dungeon Master IS a new skill...you want to make sure you follow the instructions.  The first part of Phandelver is written for a group of 1st level characters, who only level up AFTER their encounter with Klarg the Bugbear. If you make them 2nd level to start, than YES, the adventure is going to be far too easy, and NO you do not have the experience or 'chops' at this point to adjust the thing on the fly. You are still a rank novice...I don't give a hoot if you've been "watching D&D content" for a decade or more!

Just run the adventure, dude. Run it as written.

Once you've done that, perhaps you'll be ready to try DMing your own campaign. Perhaps. But first you've got to take a good, hard look in the mirror and make an honest assessment of yourself:

• Do you have the brains and fortitude to read the rulebooks and digest the instruction they provide?
• Do you have the interest and creativity to take on the (often) thankless job of adventure design and world building?
• Will you find the running of the game, with or without accolades, with or without players, to be a joy in and of itself?
• Do you have the courage to commit yourself to the 'long haul?' To run the game consistently even in the face of your players' complaints, objections, and (occasional) idiocy while remaining an impartial referee and God of your universe?

If you can at least answer these questions with the word "maybe" then, okay, we test the hypothesis and maybe you won't be wasting your time. However, if you KNOW that one or more of these questions is a resounding "no," then you should probably hang it up now...find someone else's game to join as a player, if the game still entices you, but do NOT even start down the Dungeon Master's path. You're not ready. And maybe some day you WILL be ready (and that "no" answer will change to a "yes"), but that time is not now. Admit it. Acknowledge it. Accept it.

It's okay. You're not a bad person.

IF you are ready (or think you're ready or are "pretty sure" you're ready) we can get down to brass tacks.  First off, by this point you already have at least one "starter adventure" under your belt (and you've run it twice...once in a fashion that was WRONG, and once "by the book"). Now, we move to "Phase II:" read your instruction manual. That means buying a copy of the PHB and DMG and reading them as many times as you need to A) understand the overall scope and general procedures of game play, and B) know where and how to look up material and spot rules that are likely to come up in play as you (slowly) master the system in practice.

Once you've finished doing that, you take your first steps into world building by designing a small, yet tempting dungeon/adventure along with a town that can act as a base of operations for the PCs. 

Then you run the game. 

Ah, but what about the players being assholes? I hear you asking. Players are largely simple-minded...they get their jollies off of playing D&D and if you, the DM, don't make it fun for them, they will make their own fun. If you force the players to interact with townspeople and 'local color' instead of giving them ACTUAL adventures to pursue, they will treat the town like a dungeon: raping and robbing and murdering their way across it. 

The players have signed up for Dungeons & Dragons. Are you giving them Dungeons? Are you giving them Dragons?

When the players have an adventure on which to focus, focus they shall, assuming they joined your table in good faith of wanting to play the game. NPC "personalities" are a means to an end...and that end is adventure.  If the NPCs aren't advancing the players towards that end goal, things are not going to go well.

At the same time, your adventures have to be rewarding. If you put a "magic shop" or "gold bank" in a town, it may seem infinitely easier for the players to rob THOSE places, instead of risking their characters in some filthy hellhole filled with monsters and boobytraps. While it's easy enough to make the consequences of such actions discouraging (having the town guard show up in force and hanging the PCs from the nearest tree), it is even easier to simply NOT have such places available. A village or town should be a place to resupply, sell loot, and (perhaps) pick up healing or advice from a sage...and that's it. If you, as the DM, want the players to throw over the "evil Baron," or knock over the Duke's palace, well, that's just designing a different type of 'dungeon.' Which is totally cool and fair game. But recognize that YOU, as the DM, control what incentivizes your players based on what you put into your world.

Here's the hard truth: players don't care about NPCs...and neither should you. NPCs are completely imaginary, invented as needed, and are completely and utterly expendable. 

Every. Single. One. Of. Them.

Look. You want an Elric or Conan or Red Sonja or Gandalf clone in your game? Fine: make one. And if the players kill 'em? Make another...the long lost twin of the one they just killed. Now bent on revenge (if that serves your purpose). Or simply bring them back to life...this is D&D we're playing, right? There're still wishes and raise dead spells, yeah?

But really, you just need to stop worrying about making "meaningful" or "significant" or "interesting" NPCs. There's no such thing. Just worry about making adventures (i.e. "dungeons") that are dangerous and rewarding. Do that, and you won't have to worry about players "following their alignment." Heck, you might even (one day) come to the same point I'm at and just chuck alignment out the window. 

However, that's down the road. Learn to play 'by the book' first. 

Make adventures that are dangerous but rewarding. Run those adventures. Give your players experiences..these create memories which, in turn, provide the campaign with "meaning." Not individual NPCs. Not even individual adventures. The game and the campaign you run using the game rules is what the players will (hopefully) sing the praises of. 

Not that you'll care all that much. You're not doing this for accolades. You're DMing for the joy of creation and the satisfaction of mastering your craft. If you do it right, your players will keep coming back for more, allowing you more joy of creation and more satisfaction of mastering your craft.

That's what it is to be a Dungeon Master.

Sincerely, 

JB