"Dear JB" Mailbag #43

The family's out of the house, and I have a couple-three hours before I need to head to the airport...I thought a little light-heartedness wouldn't be a terrible thing...

Hi JB!

My friends and I are all very new to D&D and we’re having a blast figuring everything out and playing the game. Last session the party got to lvl 3 and had to choose class features. We also found out that our paladin chose very poor stats for his character (he now has 13 str and 8 constitution). Most of the party did some research before choosing stats for their character but not him.

Since we are all very new to the game, as a DM, would you consider giving him an in-game opportunity to change his stats? Like finding a guy that does crazy experiments to people.. or selling his soul to the devil or whatever. Or would you just roll with it?

New Player Chose Very Poor Stats -- What Would You Do?

Dear Friend:

I know there's "no such thing as a dumb question," but this one is pretty close.

I'm going to assume that you play 5E because, if you played 1st edition like myself, you'd know that a character requires certain minimum ability scores to be a particular character class. That's why, for example, you'll never see a 1E paladin with a constitution of 8 (they require 9+) or a charisma score under 17. There are standards for the various professions, expectations that must be met in order for an individual to receive the necessary training in a class. OR...to look at it another way...there is a certain floor of base competence that a character is assumed to have after completing the training necessary to become a 1st level anything. 

[which, to be clear, is not part of the actual play process...when the 1st level character arrives on the scene, that's all part of the PC's unspoken "backstory"]

So when, for example, a player decides to create a paladin, they must meet all the minimum qualifications for the class; this includes: STR 12+, INT 9+, WIS 13+, CON 9+, and CHA 17+. I use Method I (described in the DMG) for determining abilities: roll 4d6 six times, dropping the lowest die roll, and assign scores in any order desired. In my youth, we would do this until we had a set of ability scores we liked; these days, I allow players to roll until they have a set of scores that includes no less than TWO "exceptional" (15+) scores, as per the advice on page 9 (first paragraph) of the PHB. You can see that it's STILL a tall order to get the abilities necessary for a paladin; we've seen a couple in our campaign, though not many.

However, you'll note that a STR 12, CON 9 paladin isn't anything to crow about...and, yet, it's a perfectly viable character. The difference between CON 8 and 9 is nothing more than 5% difference in resurrection/system shock survival; the difference between STR 13 and 12 is nothing more than a 10# difference in weight carried and a 3% difference in the ability to "bend bars" (7% versus 4%? Not much difference there!). BUT VIABLE, nevertheless, because when comparing characters in AD&D, effectiveness is mainly determined by LEVEL OF EXPERIENCE. And 1st level characters are first level characters.

Say your paladin had a strength of 16 instead of 12...yes, they'd have a +1 damage bonus, but their chance to hit would be exactly the same as any other paladin of the same level armed in comparable gear. If the paladin's strength were 17 up to 18/50 (which accounts for literally 50% of all fighter-types with exceptional strength), they'd have a whopping +1 bonus to attack rolls...meaning they'd hit 5% more of the time than the paladin with a strength of 12. That is NOT a huge difference...especially when you can't fall down the stairs of a starter dungeon without hitting a dozen +1 magic weapons along the way.

And let's say you throw that 16 or 17 stat into CON instead: sure, you get a 2-3 more hit points per level. Yay. That equates to taking one more d6 of damage per level of experience (maybe, more like d4). Monster damage tends to scale up pretty fast with level. And poison, petrification, paralysis, and magical curses don't care AT ALL what your total number of hit points are. Sure, it's nice to have a higher chance of surviving your raise dead roll..but your aim, really, is to NOT need to be raised. Equipment (especially magical armor and protective devices) are the much more important factor in a character's survivability. A paladin with a constitution of 9 is going to be more durable than MOST members of the party just on the basis of good armor + saving throw bonus + protection from evil aura...REGARDLESS of constitution.

So don't sweat the ability scores. Other than making the min quals to become a paladin, the player's number one concern w.r.t. abilities should be to try for that +10% x.p. bonus (only possible for paladins with a STR and WIS of 16+). Because THAT adds up, and paladins need a ton of experience to level and...as already stated...effectiveness is mainly determined by level of experience. Well, level and gear...but gear you can't control (magical gear anyway). Get that x.p. bonus if you're able!

Now, of course, this advice mainly applies to 1E groups and if, as I suspect, you're a 5E player, a lot of what I just wrote will mean little or nothing to you. For you (and other 5E players/DMs) I'll drop the following bit of truth:

5E is designed the way it is designed ON PURPOSE.

Embrace it. If the 5E PHB says "any race can be any class with any ability scores," then that's how the game is supposed to be played: as a wild-free-for-all without rhyme or reason. There aren't any "poor stats;" there are just non-optimal characters. And 5E is designed as game that can be played with all sorts of sub-optimal choices. It revels in players choosing whatever their heart desires! That's the appeal! You can play a crippled fighter or a stupid wizard or a half-orc bard or WHATEVER and it's just considered clever or innovative. Embrace the game you're playing!

SO NOW, in direct answer to your questions with question marks:

"As a DM, would you consider giving him an in-game opportunity to change his stats?"

No. So long as he's playing a 'legal' character, I'm fine with it. It's always possible that he might find a ring of wishes or something...this is is D&D after all...but I wouldn't go out of my way to help him change. Jeez...if the player finds he doesn't like the character he just needs to retire it and create a new PC! What's the big deal?

"Or would you just roll with it?"

Roll with it, baby. And if the character buys the farm because of poor scores, chalk it up as a learning experience from which the player can grow and develop...hopefully becoming a competent D&D player!

"What would you do?"

I'd run 1st edition AD&D, in which case non-optimal stats matter very little. However if you mean what would I do as a 5E DM where stats are O So Important to the plethora of die-rolling mechanics that dominate the game? Well, then, I'd let the player suffer the consequences of his ignorance, knowing that he'll come out the other side LESS ignorant and, thus, a better player.

Sincerely,

JB

The Day Before The Day Before

Tomorrow I'll be winging my way to Germany...again. 12 hours and 15 minutes from gate to gate, then a 90 minute drive from the airport to the venue. That's nearly 14 hours of travel to cross the more than 5,000 miles from my house, just to play some AD&D.

Having done this once already, I know it's worth the trouble.

So, before, embarking on a long, physically taxing journey across multiple time zones, to enjoy a long, mentally taxing weekend in which I run no less than five different adventure scenarios, I'm trying to relax and unwind a bit doing the non-stressful thing of living and dying on every pitch of Game 3 of the Seattle Mariners' American League Champion Series.

Yeah. Glutton for punishment.

But what are you going to do? It's the perfect conflation of circumstances. I mean, my daughter's soccer team (which I coach) has both their final game of the season on Saturday AND their first playoff game on Sunday. Yes, we made the playoffs despite a broken arm sidelining our best player the last three weeks, the conspicuous multiple absences of our club players, and our best goalie's family having a four week road trip scheduled during the second half of October (no, she won't be back for the playoffs)...did I mention her dad is my assistant coach? Well, it can't be helped. We're 5-1 and regardless of what happens Saturday, we'll be playing the next day, and I will still be in Europe. My other assistant coach...my son, Diego...will be taking the reins while I'm gone. If they get through Sunday, I'm be back in time for the semifinal. 

[Mariners are currently down 6-2 in the 4th inning. Crap]

I am a ball of stress. Packing has been a bitch. What to take, what to not. I'm checking a bag...something I haven't done in literal YEARS. Can't be helped...I'm traveling with booze. My backpack will have the bulk of what I need: laptop, hardbacks, and the adventures I'm running. Dice...need to remember to pack those. No, I'm not done packing. Until this afternoon, I was still putting the finishing touches on one of the adventures (specifically, I was hand-inking the map). Hey, some of the con attendees have been speed-painting whole armies for Chainmail the last week...I have nothing to complain about.

[hold my keyboard...I've got to go cook some meatballs]

[later]

Well, the Mariners got destroyed 13-4...on the bright side, the meatballs turned out great (as did dinner in general). ALSO...having the game basically over by the 3rd inning actually made the entire event pretty much "stress free" (unlike last Friday's 15-inning, winner-take-all playoff game). Sooo...mission accomplished. I'm relaxed.

[the wine helped]

I'm still not finished packing, but I don't have to grab an uber till 1pm tomorrow (or thereabouts). *sigh*  Procrastinating. I feel like I'm forgetting something...or I'm failing to do some sort of vital prep work for this trip. Or something.

I don't know. I guess I'm...nervous? Really? 

Yeah. Maybe. I haven't been sleeping well of late (meaning the insomnia's been worse than usual). I just want to get through this...no, scratch that...I just want to enjoy this con, get back to Seattle, and finish the soccer season.  I just want to do THAT.

And then I can move on to the next thing on my list.

Because it's been a grind lately. I haven't been writing my book...THE book...of late. Because I had so much on my plate, prepping for the convention. Prep work that's been delayed because of legal woes and the busy-ness of a kid in high school and another kid in middle school and All The Things. Glorious things, every one of them (well, except for the court stuff). But things that will mercifully settle down after NEXT Saturday. 

I'm not even worried about Halloween shenanigans this year. The wife and daughter got the house decorated without me and we're taking it casual with costumes.

One more night...it's night time as I finish this missive...one more night and then one more morning and then an Uber ride to SeaTac and then a long flight, and then beer and pork and gaming with odd-shaped dice. The fantasy; the dream. Would that I could do it every six months instead of every two years. But it would probably kill me. Probably. Hard to say.

*sigh*

I'm starting to sound maudlin (the readers hate that). I had ONE glass of red wine. Okay, maybe two (call it 1.5). But I'm out of the habit. I haven't been drinking wine lately...really haven't had much at all since the first week of...what? July? Yeah. Back in Orcas. I've been cutting back. Waaay back. Had a beer a couple days ago...that was my first in a week or two. Yeah, I've cut way back. Been too busy. Still too busy. But I was cooking this evening and trying to relax at the same time. Happens.

*sigh* I'm procrastinating. Putting off what I should be doing until the last possible minute so that I can go into a fight or flight frenzy of activity and get stuff done. It's done. I just feel like it's not. I feel like I'm missing something. I feel...unsettled. Like this isn't real. I'm not really going to Germany tomorrow, am I? Really? That's someone else's life. I'm supposed to be making lunches and driving kids to piano practice (well, piano practice is actually Tuesday...after the guitar lesson. And I will be making lunches tomorrow, in the morning). Yeah. It's me. Both those things are me.

You live long enough your life becomes a kaleidoscope of disparate activities, blending together. Your identity isn't defined by labels like "profession" or "vocation" or "culture" or "nationality." Instead, it's defined by your deeds...by your actions. By what you do. I do a LOT of different things.

But right now, I'm defining myself by my inactions. Time to get off my ass and finish organize my gear for tomorrow. Plus, I've got to make sure the kid's got his light turned out. My passport is good for another three years; that's one less thing to worry about. Now I just need to decide which of my DMGs I'm going to take with me. Probably NOT the first printing...maybe my copy with the Easley cover. I don't know. I have four or five to choose from. 

All right. That's enough. I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow, and I have stuff to do before I sleep.

"Dear JB" Mailbag #42

Dear JB:

I have been DMing for a few months now in my current campaign I've tried to play at all period for years now as a player or DM and every time the party has fallen apart and I'm not sure I even want to play ever again after so many failed attempts as of right now my players ignore me between sessions, are consistently late, they are critical of basically all the npcs, I have literally NOTHING for their characters and they complain about favoritism towards the only player even trying because they actually give me what I need and doesnt hate the npcs I make them because they arent exactly what I wanted. Is this normal? I dont think it is and if it is I really just dont want to play anymore 

I've tried to start storylines relating to the backstories of all the players and I've been so worried I've been doing something wrong but I have text rp channels set up that they asked for that they dont use and only the one player tries to use (which even that player has entirely stopped using because the others dont respond when he pings them) I've tried asking for what they're wanting to do, what would intrest them for the campaign in case I can add anything to make it a little more enjoyable for them, and I have gotten nothing aside from them complaining they dislike my npcs, they complain about the other player because hes friends with one of the npcs they tried to kill, and say that the characters they have have no reason to be interested in the main quest line of trying to stop the gods from basically destroying everything and when I ask how I can fix that or for more backstory or what I can do to better make npcs for them or even simply is there a particular npc they want I have gotten nothing. 

They both seemed super intrested at first when I first talked to them on roll20 I'm aware and I've been worried it's my fault somehow in me being shit in another way so I've been sort of trying to do most of what they all want I know I'm not a great dm I have a hard tine actually doing voices for the characters since I'm afraid they're going to pick on the voices I do and I'm embarrassed I'm not better at it and I'm not nearly as entertaining as a lot of other dungeon masters I've seen playing

I avoid watching the professionals I mean my friends and shit I basically begged my friend to teach me how to play in highschool they let me sit in on a session but didn't teach me and this is the first time ive done a whole campaign my fiance basically shit a brick when I told him I didnt know who matt mercer is

I Don't Know What I'm Doing Anymore

Dear DM:

I don't think you've EVER known what you're doing.

You have a fiancee, so I assume you're an adult. You have played for years, starting in high school (hard to tell you went to school at all with this horrendous writing), but every time you've tried to run a campaign it's "fallen apart." You state your players have complained about your storylines and your NPCs and that you're embarrassed you're not "entertaining" enough, like the DMs you've (presumably) watched on-line; you state you have a hard time "doing voices."

I'll cut to the chase: your problem (at least with regard to your DMing) is that you don't know how to play Dungeons & Dragons. It's not that you are a "shit DM." I mean, sure, it sounds like you're a long way from DMing in a competent fashion, but you don't even know what the actual game you're playing IS. 

You writing this is like me saying: "I'm a shit rocket scientist." Well, duh...of course I'm a shit rocket scientist, I never went to rocket science school and no one ever taught me how to be a rocket scientist or even the basic principals of rocket science. All I know is that it has something to do with rockets.

D&D, thankfully is NOT rocket science. But it's definitely not what you see on YouTube. The fact that you (at one time) were interested in playing D&D withOUT knowing who Matt Mercer is...well, that's a good thing. That you've since discovered his show, and think that's what D&D is supposed to be is a pity and a damn shame, because now you're just one more idiot operating under under ignorance and falsehood and obtaining bad results because of it.

Evidence: your games keep falling apart.

Now, there are people (5E people) who will tell you, no, you're doing it right, you're shit NOW, but will get better with practice. OR they will tell you that the issue is YOUR PLAYERS and that you need to find BETTER players, players who are aligned with your "style" and who are enthused by your storylines and NPCs, etc.  This is just BAD LUCK or lack of "proper recruiting" or "not setting expectations in Session Zero" or some other such nonsense.

It's nonsense.

You don't know what the hell you're doing because you don't know what the hell D&D is.

It is not a vehicle for storytelling. It is not an improvised TV show that you and your friends put on for each other. If that's your jam, you can do that withOUT the need for dice or rulebooks.

What D&D IS, is a GAME that allows players to experience the thrill of being an adventurer in a fantasy world. That's what it is. That's all it is. That's more than any other game ever made (at least, more than any other game I've ever come across...). 

As a Dungeon Master, you are the caretaker, referee, and facilitator of the game for your players. That's your job as the DM. That is the entirety of your job...and the limits of your responsibility.

You are not responsible for whether or not your players are having "fun." You ARE responsible for presenting the players with a proper game of D&D. And if they enjoy playing D&D (i.e. they want to choose to spend time playing it) and you are presenting them with proper D&D, then they will achieve satisfaction. Which is all that they, the players, should expect to achieve.

YOU, as the DM, derive satisfaction in a different fashion: namely, through the joy of creation and sharing your creations.

This is NOT about you "entertaining" anyone. Get that out of your head. Yes, yes...good DMs DO (often) entertain their players, but that is a BYPRODUCT of running, not the objective. Dungeon Mastering is a performative act, but it is not about being a performer. It's not. It's not about interesting characters, it's not about storylines, it's not about pacing or plot, it's certainly not about drama or "doing voices."

Learn the rules of the game. Run the game. 

Let me ask you this: you say begged your friend in high school to teach you how to play D&D and they let you "sit in on a session" but didn't actually teach you. Have you read the instruction manuals for the game? Have you read the PHB and DMG? Have you read any of the "starter" or "basic" or introductory rule systems?  Or do you just watch "professionals" like Matt Mercer on the internet?

In your first paragraph you wrote:

Is this normal? I dont think it is and if it is I really just dont want to play anymore

No, it's not "normal"...at least, it's not normal if you're a competent Dungeon Master. If you're a competent Dungeon Master running solid D&D, then your players are too busy engaging with the game world and trying to survive to worry about (or care about) the personalities of the NPCs. Because the D&D game is NOT about the NPCs. At all. It is about the players and their actions and reactions within the campagin world that YOU (as the DM) are creating and presenting to them. 

[and, let's be honest: most NPCs are there to die anyway]

So, SINCE it's "not normal," I'll assume that means you still want to play D&D. In which case I'd strongly sugggest: LEARN HOW TO PLAY. Don't watch videos...READ THE INSTRUCTIONS. If you're overwhelmed by the sheer page count of the current Core books (much of which is garbage padding anyway), start with a slimmer volume of higher quality...the Moldvay Basic set, for example (64 pages!). Read that, and run a few games using that system. While doing that, start creating your world...NOT your "storyline" just your world. Don't worry about plots involving "the gods destroying everything" (Jesus H, kid, what the hell...?), just worry about giving adventurers THINGS TO DO. Dungeons to plumb. Monsters to hunt. Treasure to find. You know: things that line up with the basic premise of the game. And while you're getting your feet under you, start reading Gygax's AD&D books, the 1E PHB and DMG. And when you're ready, transition your campaign world to an Advanced game.

Don't worry...you'll be all right.

Sincerely, 

JB

Anti-Influence

Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind.

I deleted my "X" account yesterday. I still have the FB account but I only look at every few months and haven't posted to it in years. I have a few discords I'm subscribed to, but except for the Cauldron one, I'm only checking those to see if people are direct messaging me. I'm kind of off televised news, though I keep tabs on major things going on in the world via NYT and the BBC. 

And my wife, of course...she's required to follow all the news as part of her job.

I have an...hmm..."odd" relationship with the ChatGPT AI (or "Oz," as I like to call it). I bounce ideas off it and dredge it for collecting and collating data that I can use for my own purposes. There are some things it does well, and some things that it doesn't. It ain't good at formulating creative ideas from whole cloth...for example, it is shit at adventure design. But with the right inputs and management, it can help critique, point out flaws, or suggest strategies for things I'm working on. It can also draw from a fairly wide swath of information floating around the internet and collate/collect that in one place for my own use. It's "word association" abilities are extremely powerful: for instance, it is VERY good at doing natal astrological interpretations (something I studied/practiced extensively in the past), even including things like Jeff Green's Pluto work, astrocartography, and hooking it up with various alternative forms of self-analysis (Mesoamerican astrology, Chaldean numerology, etc.). That biz is...so far as I can discern...already rendered obsolete by our digital oracle.

Of course, it can also do blog posts with the proper prompts...here's a version of my Q1 post from the other day, entirely generated by Oz to my specifications (including my own, slightly combative, style):

The Demonweb Ain’t Broke: In Defense of Q1 

Let’s get this out of the way up front: Q1: Queen of the Demonweb Pits is not a broken module. It is not a clumsy capstone. It is not some Blume‐butchered disappointment. It is, in fact, one of the most conceptually ambitious, mechanically coherent, and spiritually true high-level AD&D modules ever published by TSR.

The real problem? People don’t read it right. They come expecting a coronation and get tossed into a meat grinder. They want a cinematic climax; they get eaten by spiders. Good. That’s the point.

“It’s Just a Bunch of Random Monsters!” You mean, like every other classic dungeon module? The Demonweb isn’t a carefully curated monster museum. It’s a divine hunting ground. The ogres and gnolls? They’re not “out of place”—they’re minions of other demonic powers. Yeenoghu and Vaprak don’t send hand-written invitations to Lolth’s palace—they send troops. Gifts. Tribute. Some may even be spies, working their own angles. Does Lolth care if they live or die? Not in the slightest. She uses them like everything else in her domain: bait, misdirection, or cannon fodder. Players think they’ve walked into an ogre cave, and then two rooms later they’re fighting type VI demons. Welcome to the Abyss.

“It Doesn’t Match the Drow Stuff from D3!” Because it’s not part of it. Or at least, it doesn’t have to be. D3 ends just fine on its own. The whole Elder Elemental God thread? That’s Eilservs’ nonsense, not Lolth’s. You already solved the surface world problem by killing a bunch of giants and wrecking Eclavdra’s political coup. Q1 isn’t a narrative continuation—it’s punishment for pushing too far. You wanted to rob a goddess? You get dragged into her realm. No XP for surviving the fall, either. If anything, Q1 elevates the material. It doesn’t clean up loose ends. It hands you a loaded gun and dares you to shoot a god with it.

“The Layout is Dumb and the Web is Confusing!” Have you met Lolth? She’s not Asmodeus. She’s not running an orderly Nine Hells power structure. She’s a sadistic chaos demon who lures prey into her lair and toys with them. Of course her palace is a looping planar web of death. Of course it doesn’t make tactical sense. She doesn’t need defensible corridors—she can teleport at will and summon infinite demons. The layout isn’t a mistake; it’s a personality profile in map form. If your players can’t navigate it? Good. Let them get lost. That’s what happens in spiderwebs.

“The Magic Item and Spell Restrictions Are Arbitrary!” You’re in the Abyss. It’s not supposed to feel fair. The rules change because the cosmic substrate changes. That’s what makes it a plane and not just “another dungeon.” This is exactly how you make high-level adventurers sweat: strip away their crutches, tilt the field, and watch them scramble. Spells don’t work right? That’s not a bug—it’s a feature. The players aren't in Kansas anymore. They’re in Lolth’s mind-palace. If she wants your staff of power to flicker and short out, she doesn’t need a reason.

“The Final Battle is a Letdown!” Only if you’re bad at running gods. Lolth isn’t some CR-appropriate set-piece encounter. She’s a divine being. If your party expects to kill her in 12 rounds of initiative trading, they deserve what they get. The goal isn’t to win a fair fight—it’s to survive a divine tantrum in her own reality. You want closure? Fine. Let her escape, vow revenge, and ruin your party’s next three campaigns. Or kill her and deal with the planar fallout. Either way, it's more interesting than yet another evil high priest with a snake staff.

What Q1 Actually Is 

 It’s not a dungeon. It’s not a set-piece. It’s not a capstone. It’s a theological statement rendered in graph paper. It’s divine judgment in the shape of an adventure. It’s what happens when players mistake “level 14” for “invincible” and get handed their own entrails for breakfast. Q1 is one of the few modules that understands what high-level D&D is supposed to feel like: desperate, disorienting, and dangerous. Not balanced. Not fair. Not neat. Just deadly, weird, and unforgettable. 

The Demonweb Pits don’t need fixing. They need understanding. And if your players hate it, well...maybe they shouldn't have tried to rob a demon goddess.

Not bad, but still not really me. And not just because of the lack of typos and grammatical errors...the flow is somewhat different from the way I write (which is, admittedly, rather haphazard, so maybe that's a good thing...?). Being abrasive alone isn't enough to make something a "JB original." 

Not yet.

The thing is, the AIs available to us will only become smarter and more self-directive as time goes on...that is crystal clear, and I've come to accept that. Right now, AIs are on the verge of rendering many (most?) jobs that require "intellect" (i.e. non-muscle power) completely superfluous. And in a year or two, with the constant doubling of the things' computing power and expanding knowledge base, it could well render ALL intellectual pursuits (yeah, even adventure design) "superfluous."  And I'm...okay with that. Which is to say, I've come to accept that my brain, once considered somewhat special (at least by me), will be utterly dwarfed and pwned by a person with the right AI tool and one or two clever prompts. At some point, it will even reach a place where it won't need a human "overseer" to check its work...AI will have grow adept enough that it will be able to do that itself better than a human...ANY human...even one with decades of experience in a particular field.

That will be an interesting time to be alive.

And understanding this, I think I've decided that, for myself, I will continue to focus my life on the one thing I can control that AI cannot (although it can give me advice if I like), namely: how I live my own life. How I interact with my fellow humans, and what I do...in my daily life...that is in aid of the relationships and interactions I have with my fellow humans. AI can't get my kids out of bed, feed them breakfast, give them hugs with supportive words, and drive them to school. AI can't coach kids on the soccer field, firing them up with the right words, and instructing them in the tactics they need in the moment (our team is 4-1, by the way, with two games to go before playoffs). AI can't join its voice with others in hymns at Mass on Sunday, helping to create a shared, spiritual community. AI cannot make eye contact with people, shake hands, high five, or laugh out loud at a friend's joke.

And AI can't run a table as a Dungeon Master.  

As AI becomes more and more able to take over ANY and ALL work that is done over a computer (which includes everything from creating music to creating artwork to creating films with AI actors), I suspect that what will become increasingly valued within our society will be performative-based.  I don't see professional sports (as one example) going away any time soon, because even if you could make a robot that plays football (or any sport), it is not the operation of a machine that entices or inspires peoples. We have many fantastic machines in this world: airplanes and skyscraper-tall cranes and power plants. Remarkable marvels worth a glance, worth noticing, worth studying or writing an essay about. But that's not the same as following a human performer through their trials and tribulations and human drama and marveling at the skills they display in executing their craft.

As humans, we tend to be self-centered...and other humans are far more interesting to us than the machines that populate our world. 

So going to see someone perform music live, or going to live theater, or attending a sporting event...or any event where real, live humans are "doing" stuff...is going to remain a "thing" for a while to come. Having a friendly, smiling human acting as your cashier or serving you food or directing you at an airport is going to continue to be a part of having a functional society. Even if the majority of our books are written by AI and the majority of our purchases are delivered to our homes by autonomous Amazon vans.

That's fine. I'm okay with that. I have an identity that is based on how I live my life and how I feel about the life I live.

That wasn't always the case. The title of this post is "Anti-Influence" because there was a part of me that, once upon a time, wanted to be an influencer of some type (not that I would have used that term)...for the sake of my ego, I wanted to matter to other people. I wanted my thoughts, my words, my actions to have weight and help bring people around to my point of view. Over the decade-and-a-half that I've been writing this blog, publishing books, and participating in the on-line community, I probably have had some influence...in fact, I know I have, based on what people have told me.

But I'm done with that. I am. Call it a "newfound humility." I don't want to influence anyone anymore. THAT is not my raison d'etre...that is not the reason I was put on this earth. 

Which doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing what I'm doing (blogging, writing, communicating). It just means that, deep down, I'm not going to have any ulterior motive. I will continue to share my little pieces of this or that, and will continue to say things like "5E is bad, 1E is good," etc. (along with reasons why) but whether or not any of it has any IMPACT, or whether or not I have any "relevance"...something I used to stress about...no longer makes a difference to me. That is just chasing something...and not something worth catching at this point in time. Not even possible with the new changes to our world and the speed with which those changes are being implemented.

You, my dear sweet readers, will not see any more AI-generated content from me...I can promise you that (even if we reach a point where AI-generated content is truly indistinguishable from my weirdness). Books I publish, blog essays I post...they're all going to be self-generated. Not because I think they're better than what ol' Oz can do, but because GENERATING THAT KIND OF CONTENT IS WHAT *I* DO. "Writing stuff," well, that's my "work" (such as it is), and allowing AI to do it for me would render that work meaningless...or, at least, valueless to ME. 

I'm not doing this stuff to make money or influence people. Like coaching or DMing, I do it because I love doing it. ALL the things I do out of love seem to be things that have no financial incentive for doing them. And I'm okay with that, too (or, rather, I've come to be okay with that). Just being able to do them at all is a privilege that I cherish. Truly.

Have a wonderful week, folks.

: )

Queen Of The Demonweb Pits

I've spent...mm..."many" hours, days over the last week or two examining the old TSR module Q1: Queen of the Demonweb Pits. It's been a bit of an...obsession.

Or a distraction...that's probably the better word. Things have been busy...real busy...'round these parts. I'm keeping my head above water with stuff, but SOME things I should be working on (like getting my crap together for Cauldron) has just been...

*sigh* Shunted aside, I guess. 

The PROBLEM is (and this is my problem, and I realize that) I've got a couple days a week to myself, days that I should be putting together my pre-gens, putting the finishing touches on adventures, figuring out what the hell I'm going to pack, etc., etc. And I keep having to do goshdarn legal BS. Driving to and from Kent. Driving to and from downtown. Spending HOURS, literal hours out of my day in commuting and standing in lines to talk to court clerks and bond companies and legal clinics and whatnot. Just exhausting. And frustrating. And if I'm NOT doing that on my "day off" (as I was today...five hours I spent dealing with this crap, FIVE) then I'm catching up on all the other stuff I should have been doing other days of the week. Just dealing with gross incompetence on the part of other people. Just...a pain in the ass.

SO...I don't get the time I need to do the stuff I want to do. And I'm mentally fatigued and easily distracted. "Highly suggestible"...that's the state my mind is in these days. 

Enter everyone's favorite TSR punching bag, Q1.

I've mentioned the Queen a time or two on this blog, but I've never really delved into it. As a kid, I didn't own it, though my friend Matt did and he loaned it to me for an extended period. Personally, I found it fantastic, probably the most interesting and imaginative adventure (in my opinion) of the TSR era. These days, I own my own copy, and I have my own criticism of it...but I still think it's a pretty good adventure. Certainly it needs less "sprucing up" than the various DL modules. Q1 is a module that I could run...somewhat disappointingly...as is, without much trouble. The main "problem" with it is that it isn't as cool as it could be...a failure of underachievement. But it's not a big pile of crap.

However, it IS odd. Not in that it ignores the Elder Elemental God "plot" as some (notably Greyhawk Gronard) have complained. That is a big red herring as far as I'm concerned, regardless of what Gygax wrote in an ENWorld comment in his later years. No, the odd thing is that Q1 was planned as any type of "capstone" module to the G-D series AT ALL. Reading the text of D3, it seems fairly clear that Q1 occupies the same adventure space as a "side quest" or "bonus level"...except that, in this particular case, it's more of a penalty box than a bonus.

Reading the old, monochrome version of D3: Vault of the Drow (published a couple years before Q1), you see that the main way players can end up in the titular Demonwebs is by poking their noses where they really don't belong (i.e. the lowest levels of the Drow cathedral) and humiliating the avatar of the dark elves' goddess:

If Lolth flees, or is slain in her current form, a silvery (platinum) egg will be revealed. A remove curse will enable it to be opened, and whomever does so is geased to enter the astral gate on Level #1 (14) and confront Lolth if he or she is able or die trying. In the egg are an iron pyramid, a silver sphere, a bronze star of eight points, and a cube of pale blue crystal. (These items have value and use only if the party continues the adventure in the next Module (Q1, QUEEN OF THE DEMONWEB PITS).)

Note that in the description of the astral gate (area 14 of Level 1) it's made clear that this is not a particularly "good" thing:

If any individual is bold enough to walk through the projection of Lolth at 11) and then touch the "mural" he or she will be instantly drawn into the tunnel vortex and brought to the plane of the Abyss where Lolth actually dwells. (If you plan to continue the campaign, this will be handled in MODULE Q1, QUEEN OF THE DEMONWEB PITS; OTHERWISE, SUCH INDIVIDUAL CAN BE CONSIDERED AS SLAIN.)

So, instant kill for anyone who beats Lolth, gets her "prize" (the platinum egg), and figures out how to open it...unless your DM has a copy of Q1 to run. But even then: this is not a reward for beating up Lolth; there's no gold piece value assigned to this treasure. If anything, it is a cursed artifact designed to bring the goddess's tormentors to her own plane, presumably to be destroyed in some fiendish, vengeful manner. 

Probably devoured, ultimately. She is a spider, after all. 

This trip to the Abyss is a punishment for the players' hubris and greed. Why else would they possibly be invading the Great Fane of Lolth? Leave out all criticism of Sutherland and the Blumes and how "Gary's Grand Idea" was suppressed. Just look at D3 and what it contains. Look at the context, in terms of the on-going adventure scenarios: PCs are tasked with stopping the giant threat. Over time, they learn that those responsible for the giants are the Drow. They follow the Drow down into the depths of the earth and track them to their capital where they find that this is simply one rogue band of HERETICS looking to extend their power and influence in the Drow world by conquering lands in the surface world. This has NOTHING to do with the Elder Elemental God...this is just about the political ambitions of the Eilservs clan (Eclavdra and her brood):

The Eilservs have long seen a need for an absolute monarch to rule the Vault, and as the noble house of first precedence, they have reasoned that their mistress should be Queen of All Drow. When this was proposed, the priestesses of Lolth supported the other noble families aligned against the Eilservs, fearing that such a change would abolish their position as the final authority over all disputes and actions of the Dark Elves. Thereafter, the Eilservs and their followers turned away from the demoness and proclaimed their deity to be an Elder Elemental God (see MODULE G1-2-3). Although there is no open warfare, there is much hatred, and both factions seek to destroy each other. An attempt to move worship of their deity into the upper world, establish a puppet kingdom there, and grow so powerful from this success that their demands for absolute rulership no longer be thwarted, was ruined of late, and the family is now retrenching.

There it is, in black-and-white: the whole "Drow plan." Not the machinations of Lolth or the Elder Elemental God...just Eclavdra's bid for power over the people of Erelhei-Cinlu. Eclavdra's clan has turned to worship of the EEG out of sheer spite for the clergy of the fane siding with the other noble houses against Eilservs and its quest for power.  So if the party is actually "following the story" or trying to solve the "mystery" that led to the "Giant War" their trail ends with Eilservs clan (complete with yet another G3-style temple dedicated to the mysterious tentacled eye god).  Why O why wouldn't the players just want to finish up what they'd started and then retreat back to the surface, loot in hand?

Greed, of course.

At the end of the day, we ARE still playing AD&D here, and the players are insatiable treasure hunters. And where are the biggest stashes of treasure to be found in the Vault? Why, in the Drow's grand cathedral, duh. And so...once they're finished knocking over the Eilservs estate, they might as well go loot the temple, right? It's what they (adventurers) do. 

Of course, it's always possible they were pointed that direction earlier. Not only by the Eilservs clan (looking to make common cause or buy their way out of a beat-down) but by the town malcontents...the young males that roam the streets like packs of wolves. See the RAKE encounter on the Erelhei-Cinlu wandering monster table:

...roaming the streets of Erelhei-Cinlu are bands of bitter youths, often outcasts...the bands with elven-Drow members will be hostile to all they perceive as part of the system which prevails in their world, and the Dark Elves with them are of the few who are neither totally degenerate nor wholly evil -- they are haters of the society around them and see no good in it....

If the party manages a friendly meeting with a group of Drow/Drow-elves/half-Drow rakes the youths will tell them about the worship of the Demoness Lolth and the way to her "Egg." The rakes will accompany the party to the area in question if a plan which seems reasonable to them is put forth. They will also leave the Vault-Egg areas in the course of adventuring.

These RAKE encounters show up one time in 20 on the "main thoroughfares" of he city but FOUR times in 20 (20%!) when traversing the "back streets and alleyways," making this the most common encounters in the city. The longer the party spends wandering the Drow capitol, the more likely they are to run into these disaffected toughs who will steer them towards the Fane. Clearly, this was Gygax's intent based on his design.

And the players' greed will be rewarded: the monetary value alone adds up to nearly half a million gold pieces worth, even without counting all the platinum and gemstones that each member of the clergy carries on their person. Add in magical items and the 50 room dungeon can net a pretty rich haul for a half dozen high level adventurers...probably enough to gain an entire level, with combat experience added in (no mean feat for a 14th level character!). Gygax WANTS the players to sack the Fane...and likewise wants the players to confront and (presumably) to BEST Lolth in battle. It's the main ticket to the next module in the series which would otherwise...not attract players' notice?

As with everything, it's all about the Benjamins, NOT the "grand evil scheme" of a goddess (or an Evil Elemental Cthulhu-like 'thing'). The only "scheme" Lolth possesses is her plan to bring the thieving PCs over to where she resides so that she can whup up on 'em (snot-nosed brats). But the adventures in the Demonweb Pits should be considered in the light of pulp S&S fantasy...this is the stuff of Leiber. 

"Hey, Fafhrd...what say we knock over the temple while we're down here anyway?" 

"Sounds good to me Mouser!" 

[later, wandering lost in the Demonweb] "How the hell did we end up here?"

Hilarity ensues. 

This IS "old school" D&D in its purest form: players getting up to hijinx (and into trouble) because it's a darn game, not an epic story of fantasy adventure. Just because you're on module number seven of a seven part series doesn't mean you're completing some grand story arc a la The Lord of the Rings...it just means Gygax and Co. has gifted you with an incredibly extensive scenario for occupying months (or more!) of campaign time. Just as you can spend EXTRA time exploring the side caverns of the UnderDark trek, the enterprising DM can create WORLDS of adventure from the 4th level "portals" of module Q1. This is the potential of I1's Forbidden City on a much larger scale.  Which is great. And which explains (in part) why there's no Q2 or Q3...there's no need. This is not another singular adventure site (like the Hill Giants' Steading) but an open-ended situation for exploration and (probable) exploitation.

So then, what's with the polyhedrals in the platinum egg?

Ah, the sticking point in my ruminations. If Lolth just wants to summon her opponents to her Abyssal lair with the intention of devouring them, why make them jump through extra hoops to end up in her gullet? If the ultimate result will be their deaths, why the grand charade, the multi-level challenge/test? Why not just drop them wholesale into the whatever that serves as her "nest" at the heart of the Demonweb?

Well, it IS a D&D game (duh) so, of course, we can't just make it a one-way ticket to death. And, sure, you can say that Chaotic Evil divinities have minds that function beyond the ken of mere mortals like ourselves (and are insane to boot). But I think there's a fairly easy, in-world/setting answer here. 

Not everyone is worthy of being being food for the goddess.

As a demon queen, an Abyssal goddess, and a giant spider, I keep coming back to the theme of HUNGER. The Abyss is pure chaos and destruction (evil)...the source of all entropy, eroding and disintegrating everything over time. Demons, as beings, are intelligent manifestations of that entropy...to us humans, they appear as ever-hungry, eternal devourers. Eat, eat, eat...bodies and souls, they consume all. This is one of the reasons I like Huso's "demon rules" (from Dream House of the Nether Prince): in addition to his mixing of of AD&D with Christian theology and myth (something I also dig on), he "gets" the hunger inherent in such beings and has cheerfully codified a whole, fat-based economy for the creatures (nice). And SPIDERS...man, they eat, with some consuming 10% of their body weight daily. If I ate 16 pounds of food per day...um...that would be a LOT. It's brings to mind reminisces of Tolkien's Shelob and her un-satiable hunger. 

But, as said, Lolth is a goddess. And while an eternally hungry demon spider by nature, she still has the pride of a queen. And not everything is a fit meal for a queen's consumption...not even the interlopers who murdered her clergy and ransacked her temple before smiting her (material) form. Besides, she has time...plenty of time (if the players succeeded in destroying her material form she is confined to the Abyss for a century, after all). Time enough to "play with" her food...for her own amusement.

Thus the polyhedrals...thus the testing. Make the players jump through her hoops, waste their resources, feel the grinding power of fear and entropic forces as they struggle through her demonweb. Struggle provides seasoning to the meal. And they humiliated her (on their own plane of existence), and now that the shoe's on the other foot, payback is a bitch, baby. To me, it makes perfect sense. Plus, what does she care if the gnolls (envoys from Yeenoghu) or trolls (Vaprak) get destroyed in the process...even her driders (failures of their own "tests")? The demonweb is a demi-plane construct that is but a small part of her Abyssal realm...who knows how many "demonwebs" she has spun over the millennia? How many webs do the spiders around your home spin? 

[September and October in Seattle is "spider season;" I knock down webs all the time...though I usually leave the spiders alive (they eat the flies). And they put them right back up again within hours]

The whole of Q1...at least the first three levels...are, thus, a proving ground of sorts for the player characters, designed to lure them in, deeper and deeper into her web. As flies will struggle, becoming more hopelessly entangled, they are drawn in by dribbles of treasure, slowly losing their resources to attrition, before finding their way to the 4th level with its extra-planar dimensional gates. I will say that I don't have (and never had) much issue with the steam-powered "spider-ship" that acts as Lolth's palace (keep in mind that there was no such thing as "steam-punk" in 1980)...it is assumed to be one of many "palaces" the Queen has stashed around the multiverse (just as the "Dream House" of Orcus is something of a demonic "Summer Villa")...this one just happens to be some sort of mobile war machine, used for conquest on other planets.

Of course, the spider ship is not on a Prime Plane planet at the moment: it is currently anchored in the Abyss (as inferred from the text describing the plane, the text explaining how the ship sometimes makes appearances on the Prime, and the fact that Lolth is herein, confined to the ship after having had her material form destroyed). Which means, of course that ALL the penalties and magical issues (reduced magic item potency, inability of clerics to regain spells, etc.) should apply as parties explore Lolth's palace. This might be quite the rude wake-up call, if PCs just spent an inordinate amount of time celebrating their visits to other worlds on Level 4...they may have been lulled into thinking "oh, good, everything's back to normal"...when, in fact, it isn't. The laissez-faire attitude of Lolth's palace minions might also contribute to this false sense of confidence.

Not that it matters terribly...I'd imagine most groups are going to end up in a TPK. I've run Q1 exactly one time: it did not end well for anyone other than Lolth. Which is probably about right...the BEST players should probably hope to achieve is escaping with their tails between their legs and as much treasure as they could stuff in their bags of holding, portable holes, etc. Actually defeating the Demon Queen of Spiders on her own plane?  Nah. My over-powered, psionic-heavy bard (dual-wielding a hammer of thunderbolts and a vorpal short sword) didn't make it out alive. You think your group could?

Mm.

All right, that's enough for today. I started this post last night (LATE at night) but had to finish it up this morning. I've got two weeks before I'm on a plane to Germany...time to buckle down.

Why "Light Games" Suck

Oh, look! An actual post from JB that isn't just dredging Reddit for click bait...

I'm sure I've tangentially referred to this subject in the past, and my apologies if there's already some long-winded post floating around my archives somewhere...I've been writing this blog for a bit now, and it's hard to keep track of all my various rants. However, James M's blog re-post post today hipped me to something that I've been reminded of before but never (so far as I can recall) in a moment of my free time when I had a laptop close at hand.

So you get this today.

These days the "OSR" is well-known for its plethora of "light" (as in "rules light" or even "rules lite") role-playing games. O So Many of them. From the retro-clones based on primordial (OD&D) or introductory (Basic D&D) game systems, to even cheaper, lighter knock-offs of those games. You know who I'm talking about: the Cairns, the Knaves, the ShadowDarks, etc. Everything to make the rules LIGHTER and EASIER so that it doesn't shackle the imagination, right? Just trying to increase accessibility, yeah?

And, of course, this sentiment...a sentiment of making games EASIER, LIGHTER, MORE ACCESSIBLE isn't limited to JUST the OSR. Despite the 700-800 pages of instruction found in 5E's "core" game books, there are precious little hard and fast rules. How difficult is it to understand a target number? How complicated is it to grasp "advantage/disadvantage?"  5E is, in many ways, fairly similar to other "light" versions of D&D...it just provides MORE OPTIONS. More character classes. More spells. More magic items and monsters. But ease of instructional game play? Check, check, checkity, check.

[not that 5E is "easy enough" for a lot of its players/DMs (as evidenced by Reddit posts). *ahem*]

Heck, I'd argue that this predominance of "ease" isn't even restricted to D&D and D&D-adjacent games. The days of GURPS and MektonZeta and Vampire: the Masquerade and Deadlands are a waaaays behind us. Every RPG I pick up and look at these days seems built around A) a really simple system, wrapped around with B) a bunch of options with regard to color and flavor. Which might be why I haven't purchased any new RPGs in a while. 

When was the last installment of Champions/HERO System? Are they out of business yet? Or have they issued a version of "HERO Lite?" Kids these days, you know? They can't even be bothered to READ, let alone do math.

[man O man, the state of this country]

But let's not dwell on those "other guys." I want to keep my focus squarely on the so-called "Old School" community. Because the "Old School" community is bigger than it ever was...and is YOUNGER than it ever was, filled with people born long after the original "hay day" of the D&D game. And there is a major disconnect with their understanding of what "Old School Gaming" is all about, specifically with regard to the "heaviness" (or "crunchy-ness") of rule systems.

I want to explain that.

And, in addition, I want to APOLOGIZE for that disconnect, because it was ME (and people like me...bloggers from the early 2000s) who did a poor job of explaining stuff to people, back when we were championing systems like "B/X" (basic) D&D. This post (despite the catchy, click-bait title) is meant to rectify something that should have been rectified a long, long time ago...

See, Back In The Day (that's the 1980s for me but, presumably, the late 70s also) Dungeons & Dragons was a game for NERDS. Not just any kind of nerd, but a particular brand of intelligent, imaginative nerds that were into things like fantasy and science fiction and mythology, MOST OF WHICH was found in BOOKS (which, being nerds, we tended to read a lot of). Most of us being somewhat challenged athletically, too (being bookworms), we still wanted to have FUN and so playing games substituted for the types of group activity that might otherwise be filled up with Rec basketball or Little League in the summer time. At least if we were playing D&D with our friends (especially if we were biking miles to our friends' houses to play) our parents were less likely to yell at us to stop reading trash novels and go outside and get fresh air and sunshine.

SO...Dungeons & Dragons was totally our jam. Here was a game that appealed to our interest in all the fantasy literature we enjoyed reading (quality fantasy film and television being extremely hard to come by, back in those days) AND required a high degree of intelligence to parse and make sense of (as the designers, while erudite, imaginative nerds themselves, had rather stumbled into their profession and had, perhaps, NOT the best technical writing chops for communicating what the D&D experience was all about). 

And O how it gripped our imaginations! How it occupied our all our waking moments! How we discussed it, in and out of school, weekdays and weekends, on Boy Scout retreats, and while sitting on the bench during our soccer games! It was fortunate that the game forced us to stretch our minds, do math, look up words in the dictionary (and terms in the encyclopedia) which made all our homework a snap...because otherwise, we probably would have fallen far behind for the amount of effort we put into school work. I know that would have been the case for me...as it was, I still managed straight As (big nerd over here) with about as little effort as I could manage.

But here's the thing, Youngsters: "light rules" was ZERO part of the appeal of these games. We WANTED our rules "crunchy." The more crunch, the better! 

This is why Dragon Magazine sold so well to members of our community: Dragon offered NEW RULES and new ideas that we could incorporate into our games...making our games heavier, and filled with MORE rules. Articles like the (previously cited) Gamma World article that ADDED to character creation. Or (for D&D) new rules for training, or weapon proficiencies, or building libraries, or specific "thieves tools," or random pick pocketing tables, or urban adventure rules, or animal training rules, or...whatever! Never mind the new "NPC" classes (which tended to become "PC" classes) or the new monsters or the new magic items (which were also incorporated)...I'm talking about whole SYSTEMS. When the Unearthed Arcana was published in 1985 (with the Gygax name on the cover), we adopted the entire thing, sight unseen: social classes, spell books, Comeliness, read illusionist magic, demi-human deities, simplified unarmed combat rules...we took in every single bit of it, stupid or not. 

Rules. Instruction. These provide more than "limits" to game play, more than structure. Rules provide ANSWERS...answers to all those questions that arise during play, questions that lead to arguments and discussions and that (in the end) lead to game play stopping. We did NOT want game play to stop...we wanted it to continue and continue and continue. Having answers from (presumably) neutral third-party authorities (whether in a rule book or a magazine) provided an official "stamp" or reliability, respectability, and authority...something that allowed us to say: "See, there's the answer, in black-and-white. Now let's move on and get back to playing."

Because it's all well and good to say 'The Dungeon Master is the final arbiter of the game.' But what if the Dungeon Master is a 13 or 14 year old peer who doesn't have their shit together in other areas of their life? How do you trust THAT guy (or gal) to do the right thing, to be impartial and fair, to remember the correct rule/system at the right time, every time? How do you expect a hormonal 16 or 17 year old to exercise prudence and good judgment? Are you f'ing kidding me?

RULES. We wanted rules...the more rules the better. No one played BECMI in those days (though it was purchased and mined for ideas), because it was TOO simple, TOO basic. If you told someone you wanted to play a (B/X) dwarf, you'd have been laughed out of the room. "A dwarven what?" we would have asked. 

No, "rules lite" was definitely NOT on the agenda. When we took breaks from D&D (which we did) it was to play other games of similar crunch that we'd have to learn. Sure Marvel Superheroes was fun, but as soon as Advanced Marvel Superheroes was published, we junked all out MSH stuff for the new version (check out the falling rules! And the whole chapter on different inventions and kit-bashing!). We'd play Chaosium's Stormbringer whose chargen system could take half a session by itself (for a character who would be gutted by the end of the session on a critical impalement). We'd spend hours using the Top Secret rules (and the various Dragon Mag article supplements) crafting our own awesome handguns. Point-buy game systems...like James Bond, GURPS, Mekton...could provide hours of mind-numbing entertainment by themselves even before getting to actual game play.

We were young people with strong minds and no internet or smart phones to to distract and dull our brain power. We wanted stimulation and EXERCISE for our think-boxes.

So What Happened? What happened that led to blogs like "B/X Blackrazor" (and many, many others) promoting a style of play that was streamlined and easy and neither advanced, nor "crunchy?" Why O Why, for so long, did people like ME actively disparage more complex games, even as others were trying to either preserve the fire and evolve/develop the complexity?

Eh. I don't have a great answer to that question. It was 2008. I was busy: wife, job, life. I'd just gotten out of 3E...probably the "crunchiest" edition of D&D ever designed; so crunchy that I'd deem it soulless, a mechanical monstrosity, "twisted and evil" (yes, like Darth Vader). Going back to B/X, rediscovering and reexamining it through wiser, adult eyes was a way to reclaim the energy, exuberance, and passion of my youthful self for the D&D game. FOR ME: I needed to go back to the beginning to start over. And the simplicity of the system was about all I could fit into the routine of my adult life and adult responsibilities...and even that faded in significance with the birth of my children in 2011 and 2014. Dungeons & Dragons (of ANY edition) wasn't even on my list of priorities when I was dealing with children that young!

I promoted B/X and the Labyrinth Lord retroclone (which allowed one to play the...at the time...out-of-print B/X), because it was a lovely little game that could be easily customized for a smart person who wanted to do extra work, and would serve the purpose of providing a D&D game experience without the need to teach one's players a bunch of "advanced" rule mechanics. It was certainly more accessible than other editions and...for me, as a Dungeon Master...was far less of a headache than 3E ever had been. And it was still D&D (IMO) unlike, say, 4E. 

But, as I've detailed before (more than once) there is a LIMIT to how far a game designed as a basic, introductory system can take you. And since all the ways needed to transform B/X into a robust, long-lasting game system would (in essence) simply amount to "re-writing AD&D," I eventually decided to cut the middle man and just jump back into The King of Games. 

And what I found is that it's really not any harder to teach players 1E than it was to teach them B/X...as with B/X it's really only a matter of ME (the Dungeon Master) knowing and understanding the game, while having a firm grasp of table dynamics. The latter bit comes from being an experienced game master, and can't really be taught, but the former? Yeah, any nerd can do that, if they're willing to read the instructions manual.

But while I was on my own (personal) role-playing journey, the rest of the "Old School" movement took on a life entirely its own. Chalk that up to the commercialization of the OSR: once some people started making serious money (i.e. more than you need to buy a six-pack or two), there became a vested interest in maintaining the status quo. And the status quo was light, OD&D or Basic-based retro-clones (sorry OSRIC) and derivative Rules Light systems: Mork Borg, Into the Odd, Troika!, etc. Systems that worked fine (perhaps) for a pick-up game, but that ARE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LIKE THE GAMES PLAYED OR DESIRED 30+ YEARS AGO. There is nothing "old school" about these games...NOTHING. Original D&D...the three Little Brown Books that started the whole "role-playing craze"...are the most streamlined, "light" version of the D&D game system ever published. And, at that time, might have been the most complex tabletop game ever to be sold on the open market, requiring not just itself to be played, but also CHAINMAIL and the OUTDOOR SURVIVAL board game to play (and fill in knowledge gaps). It was neither written, nor designed to be "simple and streamlined" and was almost immediately followed by Supplement I ("Greyhawk") increasing the game complexity radically (introducing multi-class characters, different hit dice and damage dice, weapon vs. AC adjustments, new advancement systems, etc.). And OD&D only continued to evolve (that is gain MORE complexity, MORE rules) from there...all per the desire of both the designers and the people purchasing/playing the game. 

"Old School" does not mean "dumbing down" or "making things simpler." Anyone who thinks this or who promote "rulings over rules" are operating under a misapprehension, a false premise. The true "old school" was all about the rules. More Rules...not less.

NOW, let me say there are plenty of Old Geezers like myself that played D&D back in the 70s and/or 80s who still play today using Rules Light systems...just as there are plenty of Old Geezers that play 5E or Pathfinder or WHATever. Yes, I know there are a NUMBER of experienced, AD&D veterans, who long ago moved on from AD&D and have never looked back, and they have their reasons (good reasons!) for this. And, yes, some of those reasons might include wanting to play a simpler, more streamlined game because the priorities of their life makes a "full 1E game" non-viable. Similar to MY state of mind when I was busy with my new parental duties. I don't fault Old Geezers who know the 1E system from making a different choice for themselves...those guys (and gals) are operating from a place of KNOWLEDGE and UNDERSTANDING.

But the rest of you?

There's a part of me...a big part of me...that wants to yell, YOU'RE WASTING TIME. Not just your own time, but the time of your players (yes, my admonition only applies to Dungeon Masters, as players get very little say in what game is run at the table). You are short-changing yourself of the game you COULD be running, of the experience you could be having, of the world you could be developing, the benefits you could be reaping, if you were bold enough, and patient enough, and diligent enough to put your nose to the proverbial grindstone and step into the shoes of an Advanced DM. 

Yeah, I want to yell that. But the truth is: we all come to the mountain at our own pace. When I was a kid...i.e. back before I turned 35...people gave me all sorts of advice that I failed to follow. Don't wait too long to have kids, for example (I almost did), or invest more money in the stock market, rather than booze and smokes (yeah, right). Heck, even the importance of a "spiritual practice;" it took me a lot of years before I fully appreciated the practical value of church-going in my life. Yes, a lot of us are slow to heed the wisdom of our elders...that "know-it-all teenager" attitude gets carried around for a lot longer than our teen years. Of course, it doesn't help when the elders giving the advice seem hopelessly clueless themselves (man, I had to set-up my parents' VCR for them back in the day...and I was 12 at the time! Jeez!...).

Anyway.

The title of this post promises a reason (or list of reasons) that I've yet to provide. Let's see if I can make this succinct:

1. They confuse minimalism with "elegance." The result is bland, undifferentiated, and tactically shallow. Without a structure to push against (and a system to master), there is no depth of play.
2. They prioritize "flow" over meaningful decision-making. By eliminating friction and meaningful constraints, they eliminate the tension that makes exploration and combat interesting. A meaningful game requires pressure; if everything is smooth, nothing is earned.
3. They forgo substance for style. I don't think I need to say more about ArtPunk.
4. They exist in a culture that fears complexity. The players coming to this game are actively afraid of mechanical systems, leading to design by subtraction...they don't want rules to get in the way of their improv theater. But it is complexity that gives a game its richness and provides a more robust experience. We shouldn't fear complexity; we should fear emptiness dressed up as accessibility.
5. They forget that D&D was always a game first. Instead, these "light games" end up being toolboxes for vibe-heavy improvisation. What D&D originally had...and what these "light" systems often lack...is a world that runs independently of the players.

And just to unpack that last point: AD&D (and the confused, constantly evolving jumble that was OD&D) had an internal logic to it, with rules for running consequential ecosystems. The DM's role is to simulate a dynamic, responsive world that the players are exploring...NOT a variety of scenes and narrative beats adapted to create "dramatic moments" or "emotional catharsis." This living simulation that is the AD&D campaign creates a powerful sense of immersion, consequence, and discovery for the players...not to mention a feeling or real achievement for the progress they make within the game world. That just isn't present in these "lighter" versions of the world's greatest game.

All right. I've said my piece for the day. Happy Tuesday, folks.

"Dear JB" Mailbag #41

And here I thought these had run out...

Dear JB:

The consensus seems to be that at most you should have outlines and like maybe a half page of notes for your sessions, because “you never know what your players are gonna do!” But the control freak in me is having trouble with all the what ifs that’s surround that Oh I want to write a character that is sly and cunning and slowly the players realize over time they’re not an ally, but what if they just say no to the quests? I want to write a large over arching theme that is happening in a large part of the world, like epic shit, what if they go the other way? I want this item to be special, and the grail quest to get it to be important, and the story ties together, but they decided to create a spa vacation setting and run a business Like it’s easy to just say “just improv bro!” But I find in real life it just doesn’t go that way. Voices, motivations, rolls, dungeons, how do you improv shit that takes time to prepare? Or is it just “well it was a pirate ship, now it’s a village” but everything else stays the same?

Is Most Of DMing Improv

Deat IMODI:

There are DMs who swear by their ability to run a game session entirely improvised...and I'm talking a dungeon crawl (no map! just constructed out of their head on the fly!). That's not really how the game was designed to be played, however...if you read the instructions provided in the game manuals, you'll usually see steps like #1 consider theme/scenario, #2 create map, #3 stock map with encounters. I would apply these general steps regardless of whether or not I was running a dungeon, a "wilderness crawl," or some sort of intrigue/social conflict...a "map" can refer to relationships (i.e. connections between NPCs) and/or scenes as well as "physical" locations in the game world.

But, generally speaking, the game always comes back to dungeons. That's why the word is part of the game's title.

Actual play is, of course, fluid...you don't know what choices your players are going to make during the course of the game, and you (as the DM) must be prepared to adapt and respond to their actions. This does require a certain amount of improvisation, but the preparation you do before-hand...the map you create, the notes on what encounters have been stocked...gives you a framework within which to operate. If you know that a half-dozen goblins are throwing dice behind the dungeon door, you have a pretty good idea of what the PCs might hear if they listen at said door...or just kick it in...or scry it and decide to disguise themselves with invisibility or magic...or whatever. If you know that Mayor So-And-So is a reluctant (if murderous) werewolf trying desperately to hide the secret of his curse from the town over which he holds sway (and which he secretly hunts at night), you'll have a pretty good idea of how he reacts to players investigating his predations, thanks to your knowledge of his motivations and the resources he can marshal to help keep his secret.

As the DM, you are creating situations for the players to explore. The more effort you put into developing the game world, the more opportunities you provide for your players.

FOR EXAMPLE: I wrote a tournament adventure for Cauldron that involves a trek upriver (to a dungeon) from a small fishing village. Did I bother to write anything/prep anything for the fishing village? No. So what does this mean if the players decide "Hey, can we go talk to the shopkeeper before we leave for the dungeon?" I'll say, sure, what do you want to buy? And they say "What does he look like, how does he talk, does he have any rumors, blah-blah-blah?" And I'll say something like:

He's a gruff middle-age shopkeeper. He's happy to chat (if you're buying stuff), but he doesn't seem to possess any info pertinent to your quest.

And THAT'S IT. I don't create a character; I don't create a "voice" for this NPC. I certainly don't carry on a conversation 'in character' with the players. I would treat any other NPC they seek out (the tavern owner, the village priest, the local herb-woman...whatever) in the same manner. Sure these NPCs exist in the game, but there's nothing to prep because they aren't pertinent to the situation...the adventure...being presented by the Dungeon Master.

And, honestly, I don't really find this kind of tangential, "off topic" chatter showing up at my table anyway. After all, I run AD&D, and I make sure anyone who sits down at the table knows and understands what we're playing. If they haven't played AD&D before, I always give them a short spiel, something like:

"So, we're playing AD&D here. Your character is an adventurer in a fantasy world full of magic and monsters. Your objective is to find fortune (treasure) and fame without getting killed...usually by going to perilous places (dungeons) that are too dangerous for normal individuals who don't have the skills your character possesses. You'll have to work together with your fellow players...as a team...if you want to be successful."

Something like that. Then I lay out the current situation (the adventure scenario). Even new players seem to "get it" and get down to business...withOUT the need to turn the session into a "spa day."

But I can grok that this info probably isn't that helpful to you IMODI. You're worried about how a (fake) character's personality develops over time. You're concerned with creating "large over-arching themes" and "epic shit." It sounds a lot like you want to write a fantasy novel; perhaps you should go do that instead of playing D&D (you're far more likely to satisfy that particular creative urge through actual storytelling if you don't have to deal with the loose cannons that are your average player). 

Here's the truth of D&D play...of real D&D play, mind you, not the wannabe scripted-reality TV play that takes its cues from the Matt Mercer circuit. The TRUTH is that none of your "epic" situation/scenario concepts MEAN ANYTHING to the players at the table. Like, ZERO. If they are of the "old school" persuasion like myself, then they are simply trying to play the game to the best of their ability (i.e. surviving, finding loot, leveling up, etc.). And if they are of this current "new school" variety, they're only concerned with their own individual character, i.e. whether their needs are being met with regard to attention and spotlight gathering. Your "story arc" only means anything to them inasmuch as it gives them a way and reason to perform and stroke their own ego. Which is a pretty sorry way to play D&D (in my opinion), but there are a lot worse ways for people to be spending their time so...have at it.

SO, regardless of what edition you play, prep what you need to run the scenario you've got, and then be prepared to roll with the punches. That is the way of the DM. Don't worry so much about making things "epic;" D&D happens at a small scale. It zooms in on individuals, their individual choices and actions...and the results of those actions. All that "epic" stuff? That's just background noise (if that, even). You can decide whether or not any kind of "story" got told AFTER the game session is over.

Sincerely,

JB