Friday, November 7, 2025

"Deat JB" Mailbag #46

This one is just so, soooo...aaaargGH!


Dear JB:

My DM won't run combat.

I know, I know. "Just talk to your DM or get a new one"

But how odd is this? Has anyone else ever experienced this?

My DM won't call for initiative. We've been playing half a dozens sessions now. Even in the first "combat" encounter we had, the enemies didn't attack anyone. We came upon them about to attack someone else and then they just... didn't.

Bandits stalking us in the forest? They don't attack on being spotted.

We attack something? It doesn't hit back. For several rounds.

It's just bizarre.


My DM Won't Run Combat


Dear Player:

I am sorry to be the one to break this news to you (sorry, because anyone with a modicum of sense should have already figured this out): your "DM" is a dipshit who doesn't know or understand the game they are purporting to run. 

They are an idiot. They are clueless. They don't know what they're doing. They're playing the game wrong. 

I am trying different ways to communicate the same thing because...well, I mean, because this should be obvious to you but for some reason it's not. THAT's the bit that is "bizarre:" how can you not see that your "DM" is a fucking clown who has no business masquerading under the title?

You've been playing for half a dozen sessions...you probably should have figured this out by session two, session three tops (I know how 5E players tend to sit around doing a lot of nothing...). 

This person claiming to be a Dungeon Master is a hopeless poseur and class-A loser. But what about you? That's the real question here. Is this what you want to do with the finite amount of time allotted to your time on this planet? How many HOURS did you waste in these half dozen sessions of accomplishing nothing with a DM who is clearly incompetent? 

How do you feel about yourself? How do you feel about your life? Where is your self-respect?

Find a real Dungeon Master or learn to be one yourself. But don't spend one more minute of time with this jackass. No, do not even bother "talking to them;" this is not about this dumbass getting their shit together (clearly they are incapable)...this is about YOU getting your shit together. 

Sincerely, 
JB

Thursday, November 6, 2025

Poison

This is not what I should be doing.

I am sitting at the car dealership, getting a 75K service and oil change (as one does). I am eating a fresh baked cookie some lady just brought around (chocolate chip), and I am putting off the adventure writing that I've been doing the last two days, in order to write this post. Because I feel bad I haven't posted anything in a couple days.

What I should be is writing that darn adventure...and I will be getting back to it today (maybe after a second cookie). But I fell down the rabbit-hole of checking Ye Old Reddit feed and Oh. My. F'ing. God.

It makes me want to cry. Just sob.

The title of this post is "Poison." Because I was just listening to the band (Poison) in the car on the way up here. I was not a fan of Poison back in the day...they were all that was wrong with the crass commercialization of rock music, they were all about the "big hair," they were a "chick band," whatever. Reasons, all right? But they have exactly TWO great songs: Talk Dirty To Me and Nothing But A Good Time.  Both of which, at first pass, feel like throwaway pop metal with a catchy guitar riff (which they are) but which have the ability to evoke far deeper emotion...a nostalgia that conjures memories of early sexual encounters as a hormonal teenager and the alternating hopelessness and hedonism of a young person in their twenties with a few bucks to spend but nowhere near enough to 'make a life.' I don't know about kids these days who just live at home till there 30 and crush out on video games and internet porn, but back when I was growing up (the 80s and 90s) these were fairly universal experiences for "us kids" to go through.

Point is: I appreciate them now.  I wonder if they'll ever speak to my own kids some day.

This Reddit roll, man...just look at these titles from the DnD channel with the topic heading of "DMing:"

Any Tips For A New DM?

Where Can I Find The Text In Each Book Describing How The DM Can Change Or Ignore The Rules?

Awkward Silences With The DM

How Do You Create A Campaign?

Any And All Tips For A Brand New DM?

How To Make Low-Level Encounters Fun And Challenging?

Story Telling Struggles

How To Make Players Engaged In RP?

I'm Very Confused On New DND Content??

Trying DMing For The First Time

How Do You Kick Off And End A Session?

DMing My First Table

Guys, It's My First Time DMing. I Am Starting A PbP Campaign. Am I Being A Bad DM?

Potential Ideas For My Campaign?

What's The Best Starting Campaign For A 1st Time DM?

DMs, What Are Some Skills/Things You Had To Learn Before A Session?

About To Be A New DM, Any Advice You Wish You Got?

Need A Campaign Idea

Need Some Advice On My Story

Need Help Looking For Boss Music [sigh]

All of these have been posted in the last 48 hours. Almost all of them start with some sentence or two describing how they are new to DMing or first time DMing or have no experience DMing or...whatever. The point is: most of them are newbies. AND THEY ARE COMING TO REDDIT TO FIND OUT HOW TO RUN A DUNGEONS & DRAGONS GAME.

Do people not see how RIDICULOUS that is? Is this not the kind of information one might assume would be in the INSTRUCTIONS MANUAL of the game they are playing? And be fairly clearly laid out? Like, maybe on PAGE ONE? Or (if not on page one), wouldn't you think that Page One would say "Hey, in Chapter 5 we describe how to run the game as a DM." You'd think this, right? I mean, I would think this.

But I am old. See my reference to "Poison" above.

On the first page of the Introduction to Moldvay's Basic set (in the first column) I find this:
"Part eight, DUNGEON MASTER INFORMATION, gives a step-by-step design of a sample dungeon level plus tips to help the referee."
I mean, it's D&D right? Not rocket science (which I presume is difficult). All these questions, all these subjects should be addressed right out of the box. Why are people going to the internet for answers to basic questions about DMing? WHY?

And, just by the way, not ALL of the questions are from "newbs." Here's a gem:
So im running a new game for some friends who are brand new to dnd. Ive been dming for 12 years now so i tend to run my own adventures instead of the books. However this is my first time running more than one campaign at a time and ive put so much time and effort into my main group that ive drawn a complete blank on what I should do with my new group. If you guys have any ideas for cool stories I could run them through that would really jump start my creativity and then I can take it from there. I just need something to get me going. So any suggestions?
Yeah, I've got a suggestion: run your new group in the same campaign world as your current, on-going group. Why are you trying to make more work for yourself (when you're already making more work by running multiple groups)? Again: not rocket science. You have 12 years of experience. You are adept at making and running your own adventures. Surely you have already created/run material that could be recycled for the new folks...why are you trying to reinvent the wheel from scratch?

Also: learn punctuation. It's a life skill.

I really, really, really want to take a break from the internet...at least, from all the "interactions." The blogs, the discords, the reddits, the forums, etc. It is all so non-helpful, so non-constructive. And it makes me sad. It saps my energy. I, again, (briefly) considered actually creating a profile on the reddit to address these querying questioners, to get involved in the verbal sparring and disinformation and misinformation that is being promulgated by "D&D experts." I considered it...as if this would be a good use of my time. As if trying to put out each small fire on an individual level would somehow keep the  forest from burning down around my ears.

No. Poison. This shit is poison

SO, I'm going to step away. Going to take a deep breath. Brew a pot of coffee, throw on a little Sade Love Deluxe (I thought about the Eagles, but that way leads to day drinking). Going to buckle down and see how much of this adventure I can knock out today. I'm hoping to, at least, finish the crypt portion...that part's easy.

Let Rome burn, while I fiddle away. Ain't looking for nothing but a good time right now.

Saturday, November 1, 2025

High Level Adventuring


[apologies...this was supposed to post on Thursday. Then I got distracted by other stuff]


So, once again someone was asking questions about running "high level" adventures because they were planning a convention event for PCs of around 8th level...

Stop. That's not "high level."

I know, I know 8th feels IMPOSSIBLY huge...if you're used to playing Basic-system games where you encounter (and sometimes fight) godlings at levels 3-5. 8th must be super-duper stupendous, right? Your character might have an armor class of -3 and 60+ hit points, yeah?

Oh, boy.

No. 8th level is NOT high level. It is still "mid." Adventures geared for PCs of this level are "mid." Oh, what? You're going to come at me with Against the Giants and its listed level range of 8th-12th? Ever checked out the pre-gens for that one?
12th level magic-user, 13th level thief, 12th level cleric, 14th level fighter, 5th/8th level fighter/magic-user (equivalent of 9th level), 9th level cleric, 9th level fighter, 9th level magic-user, and 9th level ranger
Against the Giants IS a high level adventure and suggests NINE characters with an average level of 9th. Any 8th level you're bringing to the module is probably just a henchman.

I've discussed this in prior posts, but they may be hard to find; you can check them out:


Here's the TL;DR version: 9th level is the MINIMUM level needed to be considered a "high level" character, and honestly those L9ers are just the babies of high level play. In my book, you need double-digit levels to really be considered a lofty, high level character...most demi-humans need not apply.
  • For fighters types of 10th level you should have a barony and the money to pay for a force of men (or bunch of followers). You are a beast in combat with magical equipment and multiple attacks EVEN IF YOU GET LEVEL DRAINED a couple times. You should be able to finish/survive most fights unless you get magically held or poisoned.
  • For thief types of 10th level, your skills work more often than not, and you have no hesitancy in using them. Your backstab damage is at least quadruple and, coupled with a magic weapon, means you can inflict DEVASTATING blows from stealth. You have ability to read magic scrolls (both magical and clerical) and can act as an emergency caster of either variety.
  • For magic-users, by 10th level you have access to multiple 5th level spells. You are NOT a high level magic-user if you cannot cast 5th level spells, including such fantastic numbers as contact other plane, passwall, teleport, and wall of force. These are GAME-CHANGING spells...if ice storm is your best spell, sorry: you're still "mid."
  • For clerics, by 10th level you have access to multiple 5th level spells, most of which are fantastic, including commune, dispel evil, plane shift, and raise dead. If your best spell is still the 4th level cure serious wounds then, sorry, you're still "mid." A 10th level cleric has a chance to turn any undead on the board (55% chance against vampires!), and can fall back on dispel evil for those pesky demons and devils.
None of which, by the way, is "game breaking" stuff...at least not with the AD&D game. Attrition is a thing. Resource expenditure is a thing. None of these abilities are going to allow a party to "pwn" hordes of giants and dragons and beholders and mind flayers. None of these are going to be an "auto-win button" when it comes to creatures from the nether planes: demons, devils, daemons, slaadi, night hags, etc.

What these powers DO give the players are a fighting chance against the most powerful forces of badness in the game. What it means to the DM is that you're able to access MORE CONTENT when creating adventures for the players. Do you think its an accident that mind flayers can be encountered in groups of four? Or that fire/frost giants might number eight in a meeting? Or that magic resistance is based on casters of 11th level?

Characters aren't being awarded intelligent dancing swords just to fight orcs.

If you've been running a campaign for over a year, you should have PCs that are in the 9th - 11th range, assuming weekly games; if bi-weekly it might take two years depending on how long your sessions are. Gygax (in The Strategic Review) estimated 50-75 game sessions to reach these levels, which doesn't sound unreasonable...I often see big "jumps" in x.p. when a party, acquiring a treasure designed for seven, only make it back alive with three or four members of the group. These "jumps" offset x.p. lost for energy drain, keeping a nice ascending trajectory of advancement...assuming the players are learning and growing and not getting over their skis too often. If you run D&D in long form, campaign style play it is INEVITABLE that you'll see high level characters.

Best be ready.
; )

Thursday, October 30, 2025

Codex Of Old School Axioms


CODEX OF OLD SCHOOL AXIOMS


Old school Dungeons & Dragons is not a mystery, a brand, or a philosophy; rather, it is a practice. Its principles were never hidden or lost, only buried under decades of misinterpretation. The purpose of this Codex is to restate those foundations clearly, stripped of pretense, so that anyone who wishes to run or play the game as it was designed can do so with understanding and purpose.

These twelve axioms do not belong to me. They arise from experience...from years behind the screen, dice in hand. If they sound authoritative, it is only because they've been proven by play.


I. THE NATURE OF THE GAME


1. Dungeons & Dragons is a Game of Fantasy Adventure

D&D is a procedural game with rules, turns, and objectives; it is neither a story nor a performance. The structure of the game is built upon the premise of adventurers facing dangerous perils in a fantastical world with the hope of obtaining fortune and glory. 

2. The Dungeon Master is God of the Table

The DM embodies the game world and enforces the rules; there is no game without a DM. All authority for administering the game and defining the situation and environment being explored by the players rests with the DM. The DM is both creator and referee and, ultimately, owes fealty to nothing but the game.

3. Rules Matter

The rules are not suggestions; they are the mechanics that set the scope and limits of the world, transforming imagination into a functioning game, generating fairness, challenge, and consequence. It is the responsibility of the DM to know and apply rules with precision. Rules are the parameters by which we agree to play the game; without rules, there is no game.

4. The Dungeon Master is the Adversary

The DM opposes the players out of necessity; the premise of the game rests on the players being challenged. It is the DM's responsibility to provide a dangerous environment that demands both courage and intelligence. Worthy challenge makes victory meaningful; fairness lies in consistency, not mercy. Arbitrary challenge is undesirable, but the rules of the game provide a model for challenge based on both game logic and the needs of play.


II. THE ENGINE OF THE GAME


5. Treasure is King

Wealth is the measure of success and the engine of advancement, tying risk, exploration, and reward into single elegant loop. It drives the game's economy and purpose, unifies the players' motivation, provides an objective goal of play, and inspires a deeper investment in the DM's world building. Any treasure worth having requires effort, and the balance of risk versus reward is a core tenet of game play.

6. Violence is Inherent to the Game

Combat is not the only solution, but it is the defining risk of the game. Violence shapes the economy of resources, time, advancement, and survival. Rules pertaining to violence are a central part of the mechanics, and are an inescapable element of play. All characters are combat-worthy by rule, and the threat of death is a staple of the game.

7. Magic is Limited

Power comes with constraints. Magic breaks the rules of reality, but within finite uses and with clear costs. Its rarity preserves the game's tension, while its presence provides a means to increase player effectiveness and a method of advancement. The game portrays a magical world, but the use of magic must be earned through effort and risk.

8. Play Happens at All Levels

Low, mid, and high levels are distinct phases of the same campaign, not different games. The shift from dungeon to domain is part of the makeup of the game. The rules support play through all stages of advancement, and all stages have value. Game play is not limited to a particular portion of the players' advancement path, and it is the DM's responsibility to ensure appropriate challenges exist at every point along the route, using the rules as a guide. 


III. THE SPIRIT OF THE GAME


9. World Building is the Heart of Campaign Play

The world must exist before adventure can matter. Coherent geography, history, and economy give weight to every action. For the DM, creation is its own reward; the joy of creation is in sharing it with the players at the table. Investment of time and effort by the DM creates excitement; shared excitement creates player engagement. As a DM matures and grows in knowledge, so, too, shall the DM's world develop over time.

10. Players Have Agency

The game lives in meaningful choice. Players decide where to go, what to risk, and when to run. The DM provides the world; the players drive the action through consequential behavior. The character is the vehicle for a player's exploration of the game world; it is the interaction of player choice with the world of the DM that creates the story of the campaign.

11. Cooperation is the Key to Success

D&D is a team game. Skill sets of characters are asymmetrical and each individual contributes to the success of the group's endeavors, whether by performing a particular role, providing a useful idea, or absorbing the damage inflicted by dangers and perils. Both variety and redundancy contribute to group success, and groups that learn to respect, trust, and communicate with each other will find this enhances their ability to survive and thrive.

12. Immersion Comes From Engagement

True immersion...losing one's sense of time and space as you become hyper-focused on the task at hand...comes from attention to procedural game play and emotional investment in decision-making. When the stakes are real, practical, and supported by the rules of the game, engagement becomes the byproduct of risk, consequence, and participation, leading to an immersion that is un-matched by playacting or the drama of a told story.


Old school D&D exists in action, not argument. Every choice, every risk, every triumph and failure reaffirms the principles outlined here, guiding players and DMs through landscapes of danger, reward, and consequence. Apply these axioms with thought and discipline and let the game itself be the final arbiter of play. There is no secret wisdom...only the rules, the will to play, and the fortunes of chance.

Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Foot, Meet Ass

AKA "A Discussion of the Principia Apocrypha"

Reader Steam Tunnel, God bless him, has made it clear to me that a discussion of the "work" known as Principia Apocrypha needs to be reviewed and analyzed. I had not planned on doing this today (I hadn't planned on posting anything, actually...) but best to nip this kind of thing in the bud.

Taking a cue from Bryce Lynch, I'm going to read this so YOU don't have to.

David Perry's Principia (subtitled "Elementary Axioms & Aphorisms On Running & Playing Tabletop RPGs In The Old School Style From Ben Milton & Steven Lumpkin") is freely available from Perry's web site, although it can also be picked up (in German!) from DriveThruRPG

I first became aware of it (near as I can recall) in September of 2021, at which time I referred to it as "a huge steaming pile of nonsense." After Steam Tunnel's assertion that "everything" Alexis wrote about in his posts of 10/14 and 10/15 "was largely covered in the Principia Apocrypha," I decided I better re-read the thing and make sure I hadn't missed some brilliant changes that had been made to the body of the text.

Nope: it's still just a pile of crap.  But let's discuss why!

Principia is a Latin word meaning "beginnings" or "fundamental principles." Apocrypha is a Greek word meaning "hidden" or "secret." Setting aside the question of why we are mixing languages (other than the pretension of making it sound like some sort of scholarly treatise), I found it interesting that my Google AI also returned the following meaning for the latter term: "of doubtful authenticity." Now THAT makes sense.

The pamphlet (for lack of a more accurate term) is 31 pages long, and is a mostly rambling essay of some 4,500 words (including Chapter titles). How is that even possible, one might ask? Well, it uses a REALLY LARGE FONT and offers a TON of blank space (I assume 'for effect') and then adds some illustrations. But 4,500 words is nothing, especially in THIS case, where the author/editor insists on using pithy phrases, needless prattle, elementary examples, and mind-numbing padding. Here's an example:
As GM (or Judge or Referee, perhaps more appropriate for old school style games), you are not an antagonist to the players or characters.
Twenty-four words. Just to communicate the obvious (i.e. not "secret" or "hidden") idea that "DM's should not be jerks." Needless padding and neglects the use of the term Dungeon Master which is common parlance for ALL "old school" games.

In contrast, here are two blog posts I wrote in response to exactly this kind of tripe explaining the fallacies in treating Finch's "Old School Primer" as Gospel, and what the ACTUAL fundamental parts of AD&D are:


Total word count combined: 5,125 words, very little of which is "filler." I really, REALLY hate to toot my own horn, but I daresay these are worth reading if you're confused about what is and is not "old school" D&D play...especially if you're using docs like Principia Apocrypha as your holy writ. 

But let's not bury the lead, JB...what about the actual CONTENT in this pamphlet? Sure...we can go through the various "principles" (though my post might end up longer than the original document):

Rulings Over Rules 
The principle that rulings should override rules misunderstands AD&D’s core structure. While flexibility is necessary, the rules exist to create a common game language and ensure fairness. Disregarding them casually undermines the consistency that makes D&D a game rather than an improv exercise. True “rulings” occur within the framework of rules comprehension...not as a replacement for it...and, generally, only when necessary.

Divest Yourself of Their Fate
The suggestion that the DM must be impartial to the point of detachment ignores that the universe (the DM) does care. The Dungeon Master isn’t a mere “arbiter” of dice rolls, but a world-builder and caretaker who invests meaning in the results. Dice add risk and impartiality, but the DM’s human judgment ensures coherence and care for the campaign’s ongoing legacy. 

Leave Preparation Flexible
This principle conflates player freedom with DM aimlessness. True D&D requires strong preparation: dungeon architecture, treasure placement, encounter balance, and world logistics. The illusion of spontaneity rests on thorough planning. A flexible campaign still demands an exacting DM who prepares intelligently and consistently applies world logic (along with a firm knowledge and application of the rules).

Build Responsive Situations
The emphasis on “situations” rather than “adventures” or “scenarios” reflects a modern narrative bias. In D&D, the dungeon or wilderness is not a “situation”—it is an objective challenge space. While dynamism between factions is valuable, the focus should remain on concrete, actionable design—not on “responsive narrative ecosystems.” 

Embrace Chaos… But Uphold Logic
Randomness has value, but is not the be-all and end-all of design. Random tables and dice rolls are tools of constrained uncertainty, not invitations to surrealism. When logic and consistency is cast aside in favor of randomness, the game world loses credibility and denies both intelligent play and player engagement. Dice should surprise, not confuse. 

Let Them Off the Rails
Sound advice, but hardly a "secret principle." Early D&D’s non-linear structure (wilderness maps, keyed dungeons, hex crawls) already presumes no rails. The real issue isn’t railroading—it’s whether the DM has prepared enough substance for players to meaningfully explore when they go off the expected path. 

XP for Discovery and Adversity
This re-frames XP-for-treasure into a vague “XP for discovery,” which dilutes the economic core of D&D. The treasure-based XP system is elegant: it unifies risk, exploration, and player motivation under one measurable mechanic. Replacing it with “discovery and adversity” invites subjectivity and erodes the economy’s balancing function. 

Player Ingenuity Over Character Ability
This principle is sound but the Principia often presents it as if rediscovered wisdom rather than baked into D&D’s mechanical DNA. D&D already privileges player skill through exploration, problem-solving, and resource management. However, it also presumes mastery of rules and tactics; this isn’t “freeform creativity,” it’s applied ingenuity within constraints

Cleverness Rewarded, Not Thwarted
Again, this echoes D&D’s ethos but strips away the mechanical teeth that make cleverness meaningful. Rewarding cleverness only matters when failure is real and the stakes are economic and mortal. If the GM is merely “generous,” cleverness becomes theater. In D&D, cleverness is rewarded by treasure, survival, and advancement: quantifiable consequences

Ask Them How They Do It
This section advocates for descriptive play over die rolls, which is garbage; it promotes an aesthetic dance over practical game play. It is not necessary to ask "How are you checking for traps?" Players interact with the mechanics (I check for traps), DM arbitrates (make your roll), and the session continues. Just what are we doing here? D&D is not performative in the way of a story-teller; promoting procedural clarity over performative guesswork keeps the gaming moving.

Let Them Manipulate the World
More garbage. Brute force (i.e. violence) is one of the core tenets of the game (hence the reason so much of the instructional text is devoted to combat). While other methods of problem solving are available, there are material limits to player manipulation: encumbrance, time, spell limits, reaction rolls, morale, etc. “Tools” are not permission slips for freeform creativity; they are resources to be husbanded, just like hit points and gold. Manipulation without limitation ceases to be game play. 

Good Items Are Unique Tools 
Sure, magic can be wondrous and weird, but Principia leans toward “whimsical toys” instead of meaningful campaign resources. D&D’s magic items have weight: they alter logistics, balance, and risk, and their strategic use are an important aspect of meeting in-game challenges. Magical scarcity and consequence...not cuteness...are what define the "old edition" gameplay. 

Don’t Mind the Fourth Wall
This principle is careless. “Metagaming” is a natural part of gameplay, and leads to engagement and immersion in a way that "strict personification" of one's character does not.

Offer Tough Choices
Choices ARE offered in D&D, but the emphasis should be on MEANINGFUL choices, not "tough" choices. Meaningful choices are usually grounded in resource pressures (time, light, HPs, spells, etc.) rather than narrative morality or dilemma-for-drama. Real tension is practical, not thematic. 

Subvert Their Expectations
Subversion is not a design goal in D&D; it is a byproduct of coherent world-building. If monsters and magic follow clear logic, surprises will emerge organically. Deliberate “twisting of tropes” risks drawing attention to the author instead of the world, and discounts the effort players apply to game mastery. Novelty should arise from authentic unpredictability, not clever meta-jokes. 

Build Challenges with Multiple Answers
True in principle—but only when those answers arise from the rules and world physics, not from DM fiat. D&D’s openness comes from simulationist consistency, not improvisational flexibility. If every problem has multiple answers because “the DM says so,” then the world is arbitrary, not logical. Multiple real solutions, not infinite possible ones. 

And Challenges with No Answer
This advice is a design indulgence. Challenges with “no answer” contradict the purpose of play: D&D is a game to be solved through risk and ingenuity. “No-answer” problems exist only when the DM withholds tools or logic. True D&D thrives on fairness: every obstacle is deadly, but all are beatable through intelligence, magic, treasure, or sheer luck.

Deadly but Avoidable Combat
Entirely consistent with D&D—combat should be dangerous and not the default. However, Principia frames this in terms of “story stakes,” whereas D&D grounds it in mechanical reality: hit points, armor, morale, and logistics. Combat’s lethality emerges from rules and scarcity, not DM philosophy. “Avoidable” is good; “cinematic lethality” is a distortion. And always remember that D&D offers many ways to recover from death.

Keep Up the Pressure
Run correctly, the game applies its own pressure. DMs performing their job correctly need not resort to 1-in-6 "chance for trouble;" just nonsense.

Let the Dice Kill Them...
The dice may be the heralds of death, but it is the DM's choices that determine when those dice are rolled. Make no mistake: the DM is adversarial...not antagonistic in malice, but in purpose. This is the game, and the players know and expect this; it's the DM's job to challenge the players and place deadly perils in their path. You can say "it's just the dice!" all you want...the players will feel otherwise.

Reveal the Situation / Give Them Layers to Peel
Transparency is good, but the Principia’s tone implies the DM should curate the mystery for narrative effect, not model an environment. D&D’s exploration procedures already structure discovery. The DM doesn’t need to “peel layers”; the dungeon does that itself. The focus should remain on spatial and procedural revelation, not narrative pacing. 

Keep the World Alive 
The section is mostly fine other than the first sentence ("Old school RPGs shine with improvisation and extrapolation, not rigid plots."). We are not looking for scripted plots and stories, but situations and scenarios lend structure, whereas a game run on 100% "improvisation and extrapolation" can lead to chaos and boredom.

NPCs Aren’t Scripts
This part is fine except for the last section that extolls "liberal" use of Reaction and Morale rolls. If you "treat NPCs like real people" with motivations, the random rolls need apply only rarely.

Annnd...is that about it? I suppose I didn't go over the "Principles for Players," but they're mostly self-evident, misleading, or contrary to the game as designed. Let's see if I can hit these in lightning round fashion:

Learn When To Run: Right. You're not playing 5E anymore.
Combat As War, Not Sport: Sure. But fortune favors the bold.
Don't Be Limited By Your Character Sheet: You should ABSOLUTELY know and make use of what's on your character sheet; failing to do so is your failure! Make use of your abilities, skills, and equipment; ask questions! What's the DM going to say besides "no?" Learn from your mistakes.
Live Your Backstory: You don't have a backstory.
Power Is Earned, Heroism Proven: Huh? This some narrativist BS here. Play your character like it's you in the situation with the skills available to you. YOU decide whether you want to act heroically (at whatever power level your character is). Heroism is NOT about slaying the dragon single-handedly; heroism is making the hard choice for the right reason. 
Scrutinize The World, Interrogate The Fiction: This is mostly fine, but (just like the "other games" referenced), D&D also has rules for doing things. If you fail your secret door roll, you don't find the secret door...don't expect your "descriptive narration" to override the baked-in game mechanics.
The Only Dead End Is Death: Sometimes a dead end is just a dead end. I put them in my adventures all the time. And there are a TON of ways to overcome death in the game, just by the way.
Play To Win, Savor Loss: Loss happens. You can choose to learn from your mistakes...and become a better player with fewer losses...or you can learn to "love failure" (as the Principia Apocrypha suggests), in which case you'll never grow or develop as a player. Which means you'll never open the whole range of game play available to you, instead being relegated to the role of a perpetual punching bag.

Pathetic.

Man, that was rough, right? What gives me the authority to be so mean to yet another form-over-function, style-over-substance offering from some bright corner of the OSR community? Who the heck am I to pontificate on the subject? Just a blowhard blogger with some 2500+ posts over 16+ years? Just a guy who's been playing these games, running these games, and teaching these games for 40+ years, publishing a handful of books along the way? How do my credentials stack up against these fine people writing their manifesto on "old school gaming?" Well, let's see...

Principia Apocrypha was "assembled and amended" by David Perry, and appears on his web site. Perry has two blogs, one with a grand total of 17 entries between 2021 and 2023, the other with 26 entries between 2018 and 2025. Aside from this steaming pile, I found only one credit for him on DriveThruRPG, as one of 29 authors that contributed to a 46 page "collaboratively stocked dungeon" called The Halls Untoward (system agnostic). Oh...and he has some stuff on itch.io.

Ben Milton is a longtime game reviewer at Questing Beast and the author of the OSR game Knave, which I believe I've mentioned before.He's been around since at least 2014 (back when he was big on Pathfinder), and has several game credits to his name on DriveThruRPG, including the much beloved The Waking of Willowby Hall. You can purchase Knave, 2nd Edition (PDF only) for $19.99. Perry credits Milton's other game, Maze Rats, as being one of the primary sources for his Principia Apocrypha.

Steven Lumpkin is a video game designer who started a blog in 2014 (inactive since 2018 with only 27 entries) which, per Mr. Perry, is the source of the original principles text of the Principia Apocrypha and a primary source for the document as a whole. In addition to his defunct blog, Lumpkin is a GM for a net series (like Critical Role?) called Rollplay: The West Marches, which I've never heard of. His credits on DriveThruRPG include the German version of Principia Apocrypha...and that's it.

So...yeah. Real authorities, there, huh? Paragons of "Old School" cred?

Let's be serious for a moment: the so-called "OSR" isn't anything more than a branding moniker these days. No longer is it a "movement" of any sort; rather, it is "marketing," pure and simple. Principles like those put forward in Principia Apocrypha or like those worshipped in Matt Finch's Old School Primer are nothing more than empty platitudes that only partially describe old edition play and mainly serve as distraction and misinformation. Even bothering to write this post is a colossal waste of my time...this is the kind of thing that shouldn't NEED to be written as it should be utterly obvious to anyone picking it up that these "secret principles" are nothing but lukewarm blog ramblings that most AI algorithms could easily spit out, upon command. Easy.

Newbies to Old School gaming: don't be grifted and swayed by these petty "influencers" looking to define gameplay in a way that makes their own products more enticing or adds laurels to their names. Forget that crap...look to the people doing the work as examples and models to follow and then do what they do. Because if they've been doing it for years (or decades!) without fail, then maybe they know what the hell they're doing. Beware of false prophets and monetization for the sake of monetization.

*sigh* That's it for today.
(2,778 words)


Monday, October 27, 2025

"Dear JB" Mailbag #45


Hey JB!

My kids (and a few friends) are starting a D&D session tonight. They’ve already made their character sheets. I’ve watched Critical Role, but I know a real 9–12 year old game is going to be way different.

I’m not the DM, but I’ll be in the room helping to moderate and keep things under control. The kids get super excited, and it’s a mixed group of boys and girls.

I’m looking for tips on:
  • Keeping the energy from getting too wild
  • Making sure everyone gets a turn and stays engaged
  • Helping the DM without stepping on the story
  • Any tricks for handling the chaos that comes with kids this age
Basically, I want the session to be fun, smooth, and memorable for everyone without me having to run the game. 

Thanks for any advice!


Mom, Looking For Advice For My Kid's DnD


Hey, Mom:

I run an AD&D game for my kids and their friends. I love D&D; I've been running D&D games for 40+ years. As a parent, a coach of youth sports, and an experienced DM, I have a pretty good handle on the nuance of the job, and the kids have a good time. They ask me to run the game for them. And I'm happy to oblige.

It sounds like you don't know much about D&D. You've watched Critical Role (um...NOT D&D). You're not planning on acting as DM and don't want to run the game. Given this, here is the best advice I can give you:

Leave the room. Shut the door. Let the kids play.

I got my first D&D set around the age of 9 and was DMing for myself and my friends by age 10. There were no parents; there was no adult supervision. We were Just Fine.

Was there "wild energy?" Yes. Was there "chaos?" Yes. Was it a "mixed group of boys and girls?" Yes.

Were we doing bong rips and swilling six-packs and sticking each other with sharp objects and getting each other pregnant and such? No. Were we worshipping Satan? No. Torturing small animals? Maybe...if you count my younger brother who insisted on playing. But he tortured us, too.

Look, I understand the helicopter parent thing. I'm the father of two. But I know D&D and you, ma'am, do not. Let me put it this way: when you were a kid, hanging out in the basement with your friends playing a board game, did you need a parent to moderate your play? To make sure you were all "engaged" and "taking turns?" At the age of 11 or 12? 

Because, if so, you had a really dysfunctional childhood. 

If your kids are OLD ENOUGH TO READ and UNDERSTAND the instructions, then they are old enough to play the game WITHOUT YOU. So let them play. You're not interested in playing...that's fine. I wouldn't have wanted my parents to play when I was a kid. My kids are different...but that's because I taught them how to play (at their request). 

Here's what's going to happen, Mom, while you're not in the room:
  • The kids are going to be rowdy (because that's how kids are).
  • The kids are going to police themselves with their own "kid social/group dynamic" (because that's what kids do)
  • If they aren't having fun with the game, they'll stop trying to play after 20-40 minutes and they'll do something else...chase each other, shoot each other with Nerf guns, play a different, less complicated board game, go outside, etc.
  • If they ARE having fun they'll sit around playing for a couple hours (maybe) before they get bored and decide to do something else...chase each other, shoot each other with Nerf guns, play a different, less complicated board game, go outside, etc.
  • If you offer them snacks, they will eat them like non-conscious zombies. If you offer them real food they will tell you they're not hungry until you make them come to the table (at which point they'll eat like ravenous wolves).
If you want to do a good job, keep them hydrated.

But that's it...that's really all you need to do. If anyone starts bleeding, they'll come looking for you (as kids do). If anyone starts screaming in pain and distress, you'll hear it and can come a-running (as mom's do). This is no different from any other kid activity...and it's a lot less dangerous than most. I mean, a LOT less dangerous...kids can fall down and sprain their wrist or break their collar bone just playing in the backyard. As long as your children are smart enough not to stuff dice in their various orifices, they should be safe as can be.

So what's the issue, Mom? Your kids are the cruel, bullying type? Or their friends are? They've all decided to "nerd out" together playing D&D...how bad are you afraid they'll treat each other?

Let it go, Mom. Breathe deep breaths. Check your email. Read a book. Have a big ol' glass of wine while chopping some fresh veg and/or fruit to feed the youngsters some healthy snacks. Take a chill pill.

The kids are all right.

Sincerely,
JB

Sunday, October 26, 2025

Restoring Sanity

You know, I mostly write these "Dear JB" posts to have some sort of "content" to post on Ye Old Blog, and because they're pretty darn easy to do: find someone who is suffering with their D&D (because they haven't been taught the proper way to play) and berate them/talk sense to them. Easy, easy blog fodder, which is good for a guy who's way too busy these days.

However, there's another reason why I write them: I have the feeling that there are SOME people who, despite being on the same page with Yours Truly, may be suffering through the same kinds of issues (to a greater or lesser degree), and I HOPE that those folks find something helpful in what I write. Something useful.

Because the sad fact is that a LOT of the gaming world, at least to judge by what's being written and video'd and podcasted about on-line, is INSANE these days. Modern D&D players are nuts. Their problems and issues are nuts...as in, they should not be happening and would not be happening if they took a different approach to the game.  If I was a better writer and not some nutty hack myself, I'd put out a nice, clear essay succinctly explaining the proper mindset to run D&D competently...but I'm not.


If you're coming to this blog from a newer edition of the game...hell, if you didn't start playing D&D (or role-playing games) before 1983, you should probably read this essay. Just to make sure you have everything crystal clear in your head. It is, of course, POSSIBLE that you already play exactly as described...it is possible that you have developed a style over time that is, more-or-less, on the same page as what's been written here. But I'd still ask you to check it out...just in case.  

I've read it twice myself...it's not terribly long. And it perfectly describes my approach to the game. The approach my friends and I took to the game back when we played the thing for long hours in early and mid-1980s. The way I still approach the game. When Prince reviews my style of running, writing:
Becker runs a good game, and his unpretentious matter of fact style, relentless pacing and sparse description keeps the game going...I highly enjoyed watching Becker in action, the economy of long practice, the workmanlike but functional dungeons, the expedient calls and no nonsense brutality. This was a fun game....
My reaction (besides 'glad you had fun' and 'thanks for the kind words') is I'M JUST RUNNING THE GAME, MAN. That's it. It's really, Really, REALLY not performative.  As was said in Alexis's essay: that's just noise. People need not worry about the noise. Just worry about knowing how to use the rules.

It's not rocket science. It's not incredibly difficult or complex. It's just D&D.

Such a good essay. Does my job for me.