Great Drum Primordial (Ethan B.)
AD&D (??) adventure for about four to six PCs of 6th level
I am reviewing these in the order they were submitted. For my review criteria, please check out this post. All reviews will (probably) contain *SPOILERS*; you have been warned! Because these are short (two page) adventures, it is my intention to keep the reviews brief.
This adventure does not say what TSR-era edition it's been designed to be compatible with. Reading through it, I'm guessing AD&D due to things like druid spells and carnivorous apes (the latter of which don't appear in OD&D). Regardless, we're going to treat it as such so I don't need to disqualify yet another contest entry out of hand.
So. Let's get to analyzing.
First off, I think it's important to point out to the author that there is no such precious stone as a "blood diamond." Blood diamonds...also called "conflict diamonds"...is the term given to diamonds mined from war zones, and sold (generally in spite of sanctions) to fund terroristm, insurgency, and warlords. It is a political term for a dimaond smuggled by organized crime cartels, the "blood" being on the hands of the people making money off such stones.
As such, it does not make sense to have the "savage" tribesmen here trade in "blood diamonds."
Next, in AD&D only humanoid tribes have "witch-doctors," a particular term given to a particular type of humanoid spell-caster. If the "savages" have a priestess with druidic powers, she's a druid. Druids are supposed to be true neutral so there would not be a dichotomy between "good witch-doctors" and "bad witches;" druids can certainly be of different temperaments (kindly or maniacal) but they don't represent different poles, only ONE pole (i.e. spirituality). Also, a stone adze is a small, handheld tool. It is NOT the equivalent of a bec de corbin (a 6'+ pole arm)...I'd suggest googling images of both and comparing. Regardless, a druid uses NEITHER.
A lot of this adventure looks half-baked. We're told something about this "fraud" site being created by a "Professor Creptic" to confound his rival "Doctor Starling." But what does that mean? Did he put the savages there? Did he create the drum that drives the apes "apeshit" (an amusingly named procedural ability of the carnivorous apes attributed to a magic artifact)? Then why did he have an expedition to the area that was ultimately slain? And what the hell is this 10,000 g.p. reward for a live ape that was never mentioned before the final paragraph? The set-up in the intro made this look like a rescue mission for Doc Starling!
This adventure site is kind of a confusing mess with some interesting ideas that are somewhat spoiled by what appears to be deliberately offensive language and themes at times. It's sloppily executed and shows a poor understanding of AD&D (a ring of human influence doesn't have "charges") and for a treasure count that should around 90K it provides (maybe) one-fifth that amount. An editor might have helped.
This one gets a one star (*) rating. Sorry.
I was confused by charges on the rings too, but then I remembered a strange footnote at DMG 122: "These rings contain the most powerful magical abilities and may possess only a limited number of magical charges before being depleted, at the DM's option." Among them are the rings of djinni summoning, human influence, mammal control, multiple wishes, telekinesis, three wishes and wizardry. No guidance is given in the DMG on how many charges might be appropriate. Frankly, only the ring of djinni summoning and maybe the ring of telekinesis seem like it should be limited to a number of charges, or a number of times per day or week, etc.
ReplyDeleteI'm just mind-blown at how many would-be "adventure site" authors can't be arsed to follow the most basic instructions, or lack the cognitive capacity to understand them in the first place. Your fortitude in going through this midden-heap of contest entries impresses me; I'd have fallen into a facepalm-induced coma around the one-quarter mark.
ReplyDeleteWhich may be why I'm a little less rosy and soft-touch about these (compared to my fellow judges). All of these authors are creative and imaginative; some are quite artistic. I don't feel a whole lot of need to puff and praise the contestants on this basis...in fact, I don't feel it's even all that appropriate to JUDGE the contest on the basis of aesthetics or creativity...or to allow those things to overly influence my judgment...because they are so subjective.
DeleteJust the nuts-and-bolts, please: does this work for the system intended or not?
This isn't a contest to "win" anything. It is intended as a "Creative Writing Class" for "would-be" adventure site creators to put their work up for critical judgment and to learn skills that help them create better, more balanced, more game-accurate adventures.
DeleteThere are no stakes, it's not for profit, and the only reward anyone receives is a review, some good (and often biting) advice, and maybe inclusion in a free adventure site collection. JB and the other judges are doing this to *teach* others, so the sacrifice they make is in service to the game and its future.
Calling the entries a "midden heap" shows tremendous disrespect to those participants arsed enough to put their creative ideas forward.
As I wrote, in my initial post:
Delete"Regardless of how I judge your entry, you should take pride in the fact that you created something, that you got off your ass and put your name and reputation on the line. Regardless of whether or not I like your adventure, you have already shown your courage and mettle and should take pride in the accomplishment. You’ve put in the work."
I will have more to say about the entries as a whole at the END of this series.
Hear, hear, Scott_M. As someone who occasionally writes his own adventures, but never yet for publication, it is incredibly useful to get feedback. It is frustratingly difficult for many of us to put down ideas in a way that another GM can read, digest and run. Sometimes the result is trash--and sometimes the writer knows it!--but it can be hard to see where one has erred in one's own work. Practice and criticism are the way. This contest forces the practice and then provides the criticism.
ReplyDelete