New Orks

September drizzle...finally starting to look like Seattle fall around here. Not that I don't like an abundance of late year sunshine (sure makes the soccer games less miserable), but when I need to recharge my batteries...and I've been sick as a dog the last few days..."comfort," for me, is more a piece of "normal" or "usual."

Anyway...I had a couple of deep think-thoughts I was intending to blog about, but they were semi-political in nature, and for a Monday morning that might not be everyone's cup o tea.

Let's talk Blood Bowl instead.

; )

SO...I don't think I've had a BB post since the end of the Pete Carroll era. 

[checking Ye Old Blog archives...nope, sure haven't]

I've written this before, but FOR ME...and understand I'm a weird kind of guy...NFL teams have their equivalence in the Blood Bowl realm. That is, to say, each NFL team identifies as a particular team type (again, in my mind) by the way and style in which they play...and in which they play best. For some teams this is fairly obvious, for others it's murky, but it's there. 

If you follow American football, you see it. New coaches (often) talk about "wanting to change a culture" when they join a team...but it doesn't really happen. You can change the perspective of being a perennial loser (or winner), but the identity of the team? No. Even high profile free agents tend to take on the existing culture of the team, once they get there. Peyton Manning didn't change the Broncos into the Colts, for example.

Yes, I'm weird. And part of my perspective...this mix of Blood Bowl and the NFL in my brain...no doubt has to do with my BB hobby beginning with the 2nd edition game, when the setting still included conferences and divisions analogous to the actual NFL. Back before they made the thing into something resembling English Premier League with its cups and tourneys and tiers. 

*sigh* I digress. 

ANYhoo. The Seahawks. New coach. New "culture." Except it's the same culture. It's just a different coach. They're still orks. 

Which, again, doesn't mean their dumb or mean or cheaters or whatever. What I'm saying is that they are a team whose culture plays like orks...the way an ork team plays in a game of Blood Bowl. 

The Miami Dolphins, on the other hand, are a wood elf team. I've been saying that for years...at least since 2010. Lot of reasons for this. Marino, of course (he was the 'Fins captain till '99...years after BB was first published). But also the weather in Miami...televised games at their stadium always conjures to mind the "summer lands" of Games Workshop's dark Tolkien setting. Regardless, it fits...especially with their current, high-flying, high speed, high octane offensive juggernaut.

[that Zach Sieler guy? He's the Treeman on the team. What a beast]

Treeman

Yesterday's 24-3 (Seattle) victory is what happens when things start going horribly wrong in a game of orks versus wood elves. 

I say this as a person who's played a lot of ork v. wood elf teams (my son's favorite squad). Things do NOT always go that way...sometimes you see the elves doing their swift footed crosses and dodges and sprints down the sideline for a plentitude of touchdowns. But sometimes the orks start breaking the armor on the elves, and it snowballs into a beatdown.

Tua is a great QB. Listening to the post-game analysis this morning, it is clear the orks dodged a bullet by not having to face Miami's normal trigger-man; the Dolphins ran their same offense even with their back-ups. Thompson and Bailey just weren't going to get it done; it's like when the team thrower gets injured and...because the wood elves are so expensive...you're forced to play the game with a journeyman line-elf. Who still has a high AG score, but no re-rolls (team or otherwise) available. If Tua had been available, we're probably talking about a much closer game (especially with orks coughing up the ball as orks do) if not a crushing home loss.

Geno Smith has played great through the first three games of the season; his profile in BB terms:

Ork Thrower MA 5 ST 3 AG 3 AV 9

Skills: Pass, Sure Hands

His new back-up, Sam Howell (a starter in Washington last season), has this profile:

Ork Thrower MA 5 ST 3 AG 3 AV 9

Skills: Pass, Sure Hands

All apologies to Geno's ego and strong right arm (both are notable) you'll notice that he is, still, just an ork thrower; Howell, who looked good in preseason (and great against Seattle's train wreck defense last season) is pretty much the exact same thing. They are cheap (by quarterback standards), they are serviceable, and they need good coaching and good skill pieces around them to function at their highest level. Which fortunately they appear to have in spades this season. 

An ork in Washington, and an
ork in Seattle. Yeah, just another ork.

And, no, don't say "duh." There are QBs that can elevate the team around them. You know the guys: the Mahomes, Rodgers, Allen, etc. factor. Some QBs do this, or have another factor (Lamar Jackson's legs, for example) that force an opponent to account specifically for the guy's particular skill set. That ain't the case with Seattle's quarterbacks.

Meanwhile, the coaching change...for the better...has been noticeable. Yes, the Seahawks are 3-0 after playing a rookie, a rebuilding New England, and a pair of back up QBs, but the difference is Seattle was losing those games a year ago; they were getting killed by the Colt McCoy's and Mason Rudolph's of the league. That the team can take care of business...beating bad teams that they should beat...is a promising sign of things to come. As a fan of the team, I find myself not just hopeful but darn near optimistic. Despite the crap-tastic orc sloppiness on full display for some 2-3 quarters of the game (bumbled snaps, batted passes, double-digit penalties, etc.).

No dropped passes Sunday, though. And the defense was on point...great goal line stands, at the end of both halves. Nice to see some real orkish thump on that side of the ball...haven't seen that for three or four years. Good, good stuff. We'll see how it holds up on the road next week in Detroit.

All right, that's enough BB stuff for one day. The NFL season is in full swing and the home team is trending up. What with the drizzly weather and my cough nearly gone, that's about all the joy I can handle for one, late September day.

; )

[don't ask me about the Mariners]