Orks. Back at it.
Blood Bowl coaches know full well that you don't...you can't...rely on orks to have a great passing attack. Great defense, pounding run game...yes and yes. But in the "modern" Blood Bowl game, putting your hopes in the stone-hands of orcish receivers (not to mention thick-headed decision making of orcish quarterbacks) is a non-starter. And if you have any doubt about it, just look at the QB "competition" that went on in preseason this year as the 'Hawks attempt to replace aging (and now overpaid prima donna) goblin star Russell Wilson.
Geno Smith. Drew Lock. Jacob Eason.
Bad, bad orks.
It doesn't matter that the team has DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett, star players both. Everything around them is ork. Receivers #3 through #5 (well, really, all the receivers just vying for a spot on the 53-man roster)...typical goblins and lineorks. But the QBs...the QBs.
Did you know that the Seahawks are the only coaching staff in the NFC that do not have a former quarterback in some coaching capacity. Not as a head coach, OC, QB coach, or even some other assistant coach. How do you coach a player to play the position of quarterback in the NFL when no one on the staff has any experience playing the position?
Answer: you don't. Because you don't need to. They're orks.
We loves Geno Smith, my Precious, but he is a career backup. Naming him the starter for a team that hopes to get back to the playoffs is...so...very...orkish. Pete Carroll is showing his green bloodedness. Again.
A decade of star quarterbacking from Wilson never scrubbed the memories of Charlie Whitehurst from my mind's eye...the archetypal "Checkdown Charlie" (semi-affectionately known in some parts as "Clipboard Jesus" based on his appearance and long-practiced role of standing on the sidelines as a stalwart QB2...or QB3). Pete Carroll duly proclaimed at the beginning of the 2011 NFL season that they had no reason to trade or draft for a new QB (to replace pro-bowler Matt Hasselbeck, released in the off-season), because they HAD their QB in the form of Whitehurst and could win with him just playing "solid" football, in front of a great running game and fantastic defense.
The Seahawks went 7-9, missed the playoffs, and would (very fortunately) draft Russell Wilson in the next season. On the way to that, Whitehurst around midseason for a dude with a torn pectoral muscle.
The Geno Smith experiment will be Whitehurst 2.0.
Do I need to cite stats for this. Probably not...the number of people reading this post who care about the Seahawks, their quarterback situation, and Blood Bowl in equal measure are probably, um, few. Probably just me. Which is, you know...fine. Nerds gotta' be nerds, y'all. But for the curious, Geno's stats passing stats for this preseason (three games), which won him the job as a starting quarterback for an NFL team (only 32 of those in the world) boil down to:
23/39, 256 yards, 0 TDs, 0 INTs, 4 sacks (36 yards)
No touchdowns. An average of 6.6 yards per passing attempt (not including some terrific "yards after catch" from some of his checkdown throws to running backs). An aversion to risk. A tendency to hang onto the ball and take sacks.
But it's the "zero interceptions" that Carroll cares about. Never mind that preseason is ALWAYS the height of Smith's season potential, when he faces vanilla defenses, and has easy reads to make. Never mind that he choked away multiple games last season (in relief of the injured Wilson), having unforgivable turnovers (picks and strip sacks) in the 4th quarter. Never mind that his ONLY won a single regular season game (playing as a starter) in the last five years.
Never mind that the Seahawks CUT Smith in the off-season, allowed him to swim the waters of free agency, and then signed him back on a one year deal. And then handed him the job.
*sigh*
I have to go wake up the kids now for day 2 of the soccer tournament. Thank goodness. And thank goodness for the Mariners and the Storm. JB out.
[by the way: there is no need for me to post BB stat lines for Geno Smith. If you want to include a Geno Smith in your Seahawk-themed Blood Bowl team, the basic (unaltered) Ork thrower will suffice. The same holds true for your Drew Lock backup...just make sure you chuck a lot of long balls for picks when desperation time sets in and your team is trying ANYthing to generate offense. Oh...and good luck with that]
You know I love me some Seahawks. To be fair to Geno it's not like under Wilson the Hawks played that much better last year and one of those game ending interceptions was on the receiver not him. I'm going to pull for him. I feel bad for anyone who had to play under that ass clown Rex Ryan. I'd rather see Geno than Jimmy G. Even though Jimmy is probably better on paper.
ReplyDeleteI'm also an eternal optimist so I'm saying we take a wild card slot and Pete wins coach of the year.
I’m just pulling hard for Geno to have a BIG game against the Broncos. If he stumbles down the stretch…well, I won’t be terribly surprised.
DeleteGeno for the win
DeleteNever a doubt. I was there.
DeleteYou're not alone, JB. I'm a south Jersey transplant to the Seattle area, so the Eagles are my first love, but 20+ years here have made me a Seahawks fan of sorts. I'm not surprised Geno got the job, he has been here a couple years already and certainly had a head start on the playbook and on familiarity with the personnel. I'm more surprised/disappointed that Coach Pete didn't try to grab a better QB this off-season. I fear that anything close to a .500 season is a bit of a pipe dream for the 'Hawks this year.
ReplyDeleteDon’t get me wrong. Geno has some moxie, and he’s matured quite a bit from his Jets’ days. But he’s also risk adverse…and good teams usually need the QB to win 2-3 games during the season (when nothing else is working on a particular week for whatever reason).
DeleteApologies to Mr. Smith: I’m not a believer in him coming through in the clutch when needed…I watched his failure to “clutch” last year.
As such? 7-10 for the season is my prediction (8-9 if the running backs stay healthy).
While I have nothing to contribute to the football talk (I am a baseball guy, Go Cards!), I do admit I have always wanted to play Blood Bowl. It just looks like it is so much fun.
ReplyDeleteRE Baseball
DeleteMy town actually has a dog in the fight this year (the M's are playing well for a change). Perhaps we'll see your Cards in the postseason.
; )
Greetings, JB,
ReplyDeleteAlthough I have no contributions to make regarding the handegg talk (though I did join a fantasy football league for the sake of fellowshipping with guys at church), I wanted to comment to say that I ordered your BX Companion book today. I have long enjoyed it in its PDF from DriveThruRPG, but now that our campaign is changing to OSE (Advanced Fantasy), it is time to get that in print so I can better read it in hand. :)
I have returned full circle to my BX days. While the first system I played was original D&D, the first system I DM'd was BX. We moved just over a year later and the kids in the new town were playing AD&D, but in my second stint of D&D (2000-present), I have found myself wanting more and more freedom for rulings and fewer and fewer rules behind the DM screen. I look forward to using your book to convert my old 15th level cleric ("Zudrak") for the purpose of seeing the high-level rules in action (for PC creation, anyway) and then using him as a PC.
Happy gaming,
Michael
Right on. I find it far easier (and less distracting) to use hard copy references at the table then PDFs myself, so I can see the appeal (when I *was* running a B/X game...a few years back...I often had the Companion on the table next to me).
DeleteI appreciate your business, and hope you get much enjoyment out of your (soon-to-be-received) hardcopy!
: )